* Almost everyone’s caption yesterday on the photo of Mark pointing upwards focused on his goofy prediliction toward embellishment. Wordslinger’s was very funny…

“We landed right there, in the Sea of Tranquility. I remember telling Neil and Buzz, ‘you guys go ahead, I’m taking the rover over to a meeting with a delegation of the Klingons….”

I’ve asked Word to start thinking about writing for the front page, so it would be a bit of a conflict to give him the win.

Oswego Willy’s was the most comprehensively funny…

In this slide, I am rescuing a baby from a burning building, using only dental floss, a ball point pen, and gum …. next slide … this is me, at the 1980 Olympics in Moscow winning the Decathalon, and singing the national anthem - a very proud moment … next slide … this is me, with Elvis and with President Nixon in the Oval Office - what a card Elvis was! … next slide … This is me handing the ball off to William Perry a.k.a. the Fridge, in Super Bowl XX … next slide … this is me, on top of the Berlin Wall, saying “itch bein ein Berliner” … next slide … this is me, Begin, Sadat and Jimmy Carter at the White House - powerful meeting … next slide … this is me, Scotty Pippen, and Michael Jordan talking to Phil Jackson during a timeout …next slide … oh, this is me, and Ald. Dick Mell standing on our desks when I suggested Eugene Sawyer to be the next mayor of Chicago …next slide …

One day, he will win.

But “(618)662 Dem” captured Kirk’s personality tic perfectly and in the least number of words, so he gets the win…

See that mark up there, that’s how tall I am.

Sublime.

Please e-mail me to set up our evening of drinking.

Now, on to the question…

Caption?

       

124 Comments - WI IL Transplant - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:28 pm: Pretty obvious–our state budget! - OneMan - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:29 pm: The unpaid invoices being sent to Springfield were delayed due to an outbreak of irony. - Ghost - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:30 pm: The 10% cut to transportation did not work out as well as Brady planned. Quinn’s High Speed train runs into a snag. - Highland, IL - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:30 pm: Mark Kirk was standing on the tracks to stop this runaway train. He received not even a scratch. - JFL - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:31 pm: The art in Millennium Park is really getting out of control. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:33 pm: Leave the lumber, take the cannoli… - Small Town Liberal - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:35 pm: Rod learned quickly that it would be much more difficult to cover up the consequences of mismanagement in this new conductor gig… - OneMan - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:35 pm: Once Pat Quinn had heard the train derailed he immediately ended the state ‘remove some track’ program. Immediately . - N'ville - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:36 pm: The Quinn campaign released it’s new logo this afternoon. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:37 pm: Jason Plummer’s 1st act as Lt. Governor was to get this train overpass fixed. No one thought he would literally take a bunch of 2 by 20s and lay them out over the tracks … - Montrose - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:38 pm: Well, so much for that whole high speed rail thingy. - Moving to Oklahoma - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm: Illinois. - Montrose - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm: Governor Quinn, the set for your next commercial is ready. - Publius - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm: To persuade people that Illinois is fine Governor Quinn announced a new program to bring jobs into Illinois and Bill Brady offered a 10% cut. In return the railroad decided to do the state a favor by cutting the state off from the US - MikeMacD - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:39 pm: “So THAT’S what a penny looks like after being run over by a train.” - Louis G. Atsaves - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:40 pm: Illinois State Legislature. - Ghost - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:41 pm: Jason Plummers tax return disclosures where delayed when the train transporting them to the media was derailed by a pile of R.P. lumber which mysteriously appeared in the path of the train. - Deep South - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:44 pm: Quinn? Brady? Kirk? Alexi? Yeah, they’re all in there. They all said the had the cure for what ails Illinois. Ooops. - Montrose - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm: You know what an incident like this calls for? A forensic audit. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm: “Hello, Jerry … yeah, we blocked the train… there is no way Jason will make it to Chicago for that debate …” - Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:45 pm: The Lee Abrams Express. - Squideshi - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:46 pm: Who put that penny on the tracks? Not funny. - 47th Ward - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:48 pm: Trouble with you is the trouble with me, Got two good eyes but WE still don’t see. Come round the bend, you know it’s the end, The fireman screams and the engine just gleams… Driving that train, high on cocaine, Casey Jones you better, watch your speed. Trouble ahead, trouble behind, And you know that notion just crossed my mind. - Waco Kid - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm: We interrupt our coverage of this train derailment, for breaking Rahm Emanuel news. - vole - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm: Whadda ya mean we need more taxes for infrastructure, who needs infrastructure??? I got your infrastructure right here!!! Calling 911 or another crappy day in America becomes a banana republic. - Ghost - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:50 pm: The latest winner of the Capitol fax caption contest, a train engineer, experiences difficulties returning home after an evening of consuming his prize… - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:52 pm: “I don’t care how much his Dad paid you, Jason can’t ‘pretend’ to drive a train for a picture …” Tom Cross is doing everything possible to keep the Madi-Goons in Chicago … - LincolnLounger - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:53 pm: Sarah Palin was elected President of the United States today. - Justin Boland - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:54 pm: “The Quinn campaign released it’s new logo this afternoon. ” Definitely loved that one, N’ville - train111 - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm: Fairly new State Representative Michael Zalewski gets the State’s budget trainwreck dumped on his lap. Responding to the wreck, he states that he will get his people working on it right away. The photo is a wreck that took place where the Indiana harbor Belt Crosses under the Burlington Northern in LaGrange and is in Zalewski’s district. The fact that I recognized the location right away and am posting it on a political blog means that I seriously need to get a life!!! sheesh!! train111 - FOIA Fan - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm: Ummm… did you say “borrowing plan” or “burrowing plan”. - ok - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:56 pm: “Basically an up day” - conductor Rod - Downstate Progressive - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:57 pm: You should see the other side. - the Patriot - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 12:58 pm: Pat Quinn announced today that had it not been for his hard work, the small railway incident would have been much worse. - Nicky West Side - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:00 pm: Welcome to the campaign office, Sheila! Banjos go over by the (non-RP) lumber! - ivoted4judy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:01 pm: Illinois: THIS is what you get no matter who wins the Governor’s race!!!! - Aaron - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:04 pm: Guess Michael Bay and Pat Quinn have more in common than we thought. - Ghost - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:04 pm: IL Politician: I know how to fix this mess, we will just face the other way and hope it goes away. or Apparently Tom McCan, cant. - Davey Boy Smithe - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:05 pm: It’s my first day. - wordslinger - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:05 pm: Montrose beat me to it. Absolutely, we won’t know the extent of the problem until we have a forensic audit. - The Captain - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:06 pm: So here’s what happened, first they voted against letting a whole bunch of stuff out of Rules, then they voted against a tax increase, then they voted against big cuts, then they voted against just giving the Governor the broad authority to handle it himself and then they got drunk and left town. What? (turns around) Yeah, that’s bad too. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:06 pm: Steve Kim and Robert Enriquez are found praying to the Train Wreck god hoping it will use its powers against Lisa and Jesse. - Deep South - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:07 pm: Ghost wins. - The Captain - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:07 pm: Somewhere a Blue Ribbon comission is forming. - Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm: I guess Driver 8 didn’t take that break. h/t Michael Stipe - Deep South - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm: Ghost @ 12:50. - VoterUSA - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:08 pm: Yes Officer, that bridge just jumped in front of me… - Gunner the Runner - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:09 pm: On November 3rd, Pat Quinn began his new career as a train conductor. - D.P. Gumby - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:10 pm: Rich’s desk before the new computer arrived. - The Shadow - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:10 pm: Oh no, we need to slow down high speed rail. - dupage dan - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:11 pm: Ok, you play this game just like pick up sticks. - train111 - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:11 pm: You see that guy under the bridge to the left–under the green covered hopper car–the one walking with the stick. That’s Mark Kirk examining the spot where he recently was wounded in a train wreck in West Subruban Cook County while singlehandedly evacuating hundreds of citizens out from under the bridge where they had taken refuge in a freak rainstorm. train111 - Change is on the way - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:13 pm: The US Congress if Republicans win the House! - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:18 pm: After this horrific train wreck, the Great and Prophetic David Axelrod is now banned from saying ‘Monsoon’, ‘like a tornado’ or ‘tidal wave’ in describing this election cycle, in fear of another disaster will begat from his powerful lips. - Really?? - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:20 pm: Governor Quinn says he should have this whole thing cleaned up by the end of the day. - Don't Worry About It - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:20 pm: Bill Brady immediately regretted saying that after he is elected, economic growth will be “steady like a train.” - David Ormsby - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:21 pm: Governor Pat Quinn’s new “Cleaning up Train Wrecks Commission” will have its report with a strategy to clear up the mess out by March 31, 2011. - Ahoy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:21 pm: Bill Brady blames Pat Quinn for the above mess that was actually caused by someone else. Pat Quinn talks about the jobs that he created because of the accident he made. - whatever - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:22 pm: Result of train engineers blindly following the GPS. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:27 pm: Rich, I won with Cohen/cannoli caption … I just haven’t won since! - RFR - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:31 pm: The Art Institute of Chicago’s interpretive rendering of Illinois’s financial situation. - DzNuts - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:36 pm: …witnesses reported seeing a squirrel being chased by Joe Biden just before the derailment - Levois - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:38 pm: Is that Salvador Dali’s take on what’s going on in Illinois? - Aldyth - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:38 pm: Illinois - Way Way Down Here - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:39 pm: With respect to Ghost@12:50 Rich: Wheew that was some party. OneMan: That’s for sure. (618)662Dem: Who brought the dynamite? - CLJ - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:41 pm: The Tea Pary Express - who say’s we can’t fit through that tunnel! - Pat Robertson - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:44 pm: “But we’re still gaining in the polls!” - DRB - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:47 pm: Eight years of Democrat progress in Illinois and all we got is this little old train crash. - We Todd Did - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:51 pm: That’s what train wrecks looked like back in the 70’s. Today they look more like this….. quinnforillinois.com - Ben - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:51 pm: Somebody needs to take the iPhone away from the “high-speed rail” conductor. - Retired Non-Union Guy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:52 pm: Either candidate for gov: “just a minor setback …” - Retired Non-Union Guy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:53 pm: JP: “Dad, I know where we can get some lumber cheap!” - Don't Worry, Be Happy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 1:56 pm: Once upon a time there was an engineer. Drove a locomotive both far and near. Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool Watching everything the engineer would do One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat, He left the monkey sitting on the driver’s seat, The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run. Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line. Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind. The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone, To tell him all about his locomotive was gone. Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right, Cause the monkey’s got the main line sewed up tight. The switch operator got the message on time, Said there’s a northbound livin’ on the same main line, Open up the switch I’m gonna let him through the hole, Cause the monkey’s got the locomotive under control. Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line. Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind. Bill Brady said, when he got wind of the plan, I can’t stand to see a monkey earn as much as a man. I support creationism, don’t believe in evolution, if I don’t do something there might be a social revolution. He aimed his assault rifle at the pet monkey’s head, pulled the trigger and euthanized him dead. The locomotive jumped the tracks and caused a chain reaction, Bill Brady said, that’s my John Wayne leadership in action! Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line. Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind. Apologies to Jesse Fuller. - Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:00 pm: Governor Quinn Announces Nearly 1500 Jobs to Chicago for Rail Project. . . . But Not Aboard This Train - Suburban - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:03 pm: Blago’s new job new job as a Train Engineer not quite working out, never fear he will try airplane pilot next! - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:08 pm: “You CALL Todd Stroger and tell him that his cousin is NOT cut out to be an engineer, no matter what favor he did for me!” - Quinn T. Sential - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:08 pm: Welcome to Illinois! Pat Quinn Governor By Appointment Only - zatoichi - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:09 pm: Christo’s new piece ‘Pick Up Sticks’ makes its debut. - Cool Hand Luke - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:11 pm: Since Daley said that he wasn’t going to run for re-election, things in Chicago just have never seemed to have been the same. - Judgment Day Is On The Way - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:13 pm: Madigan, Quinn, and Cullerton standing there and trying to remember who’s supposed to be driving this train…. - justbabs - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:17 pm: Look - a squirrel. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:21 pm: You know that “bridge” you said we would cross when we got to it … Well …Governor, we crossed the bridge, we just had trouble after that step …. - OneMan - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:25 pm: Within minutes there were TV ads saying that this was the fault of Kirk, Alexi, Quinn, Brady and Hultgren - Joe from Joliet - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:29 pm: Those Iowans really don’t want us, do they? - SAP - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:30 pm: See…I told you I’m more powerful than a locomotive. Mark Kirk - Don't Worry About It - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:32 pm: “In the wake of this tragedy, questions still linger. Why didn’t the failed stimulus prevent this? What was Rahm Emanuel’s role in the crash? This is William Kelly with WIND, signing off.” - Wumpus - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:35 pm: Here is a picture from the first Kirk-Gianoulious debate. (2 trainwrecks) - MrJM - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:37 pm: Chicago newspaper: “Rahm Emanuel spotted shaking hands at train station” – MrJM - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:39 pm: MrJM … classic! - MrJM - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:39 pm: “A spokesman for the campaign did note that their penny was smashed very, very flat.” – MrJM - sal-says - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:41 pm: One picture = IL financial catastrophe. - Rich Miller - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:42 pm: MrJM, that was one of the best comments ever. - aufjunk - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:45 pm: “Remember, guys, this is Illinois in October with Quinn running against Brady - we’ve got four years before we have to clear this.” - Small Town Liberal - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:49 pm: To steal MrJM’s idea: Chicago Newspaper: “Rahm Emanuel not on board during deadly freight train accident” - Been There - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:55 pm: Quinn, Madigan and Cullerton (in the middle) agreeing that all they need to do is get Scott Lee Cohen (on the left) off the ballot for Lt Gov and this train wreck will be cleaned up. Brady and his gang (on the right) think the train wreck will never affect them and they will have a clear shot up the tracks. - Segatari - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:56 pm: “Illinois Operation Lifesaver reminds you to look…listen…live.” - Rahm's Parking Meter - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 2:59 pm: Illinois choices = trainwreck!!!!!!! - kj - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:15 pm: Brady campaign spending millions just to have a prop for discussing ther economy. - ShadyBillBrady - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:16 pm: The Oberweis campaign releases a copy of the stock photo they plan to use on his next campaign mailer. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:17 pm: MrJM … Nothing compares … embarrassed I even posted! - Prognosis Negative - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:19 pm: Davey Jones apparently did not watch his speed. - jt - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:23 pm: This is a bad way to start. - Fed-Up - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:24 pm: It’s a visual metaphor of the current financial condition of the state but its ok because each of our gubernatorial candidates was given a broom to sweep it all up - south side - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:31 pm: Let this be a warning to all those who want to change transportation policy in Illinois. - wordslinger - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:38 pm: Prognosis Negative, it’s Casey Jones. Davey Jones is the dude with locker where Capt. Jack Sparrow went or the Brit with the tambourine from the Monkees. Excellent handle from a great “Seinfeld,” though. - Who Cares - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:53 pm: To paraphrase one of my all time favorite posts from Bill…..Ops. - Way Way Down Here - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:56 pm: A previously unknown group calling itself “The Resistance” emerged in suburban Cook County this morning. - Majority of Me - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 3:59 pm: Hmm, perhaps the voters are correct and things are off track. - chitownguy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:12 pm: Both engineers involved claimed they could clean up the wreck at no cost and without interrupting any current train service. Each is also running for governor of Illinois. - chitownguy - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:16 pm: Win an election and all this could be yours! - anon sequitor - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:30 pm: Tea Party Express slams into slow moving Republican Party train. - Wensicia - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:37 pm: “Train wreak? What train wreak? I don’t see any train wreak.” — Quinn - Skeeter - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 4:43 pm: Foster Blames Hulgren for Idaho Wreck. New Ad Claims One of Hultgren’s Former Employers Often Shipped Goods By Rail. - Don't Worry About It - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 5:48 pm: Bill Brady: “As governor, I will call for a 10 percent across the board reduction in train derailments.” - ourMagician - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 5:55 pm: Alexi’s latest investment in Burlington Northern with Bright Start funds continues his magic touch. - Park - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:21 pm: PQ: “You furloughed the engineer? You idiot! I meant furlough IDOT engineers! - just sayin' - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:37 pm: It’s not my fault, this guy Mark Kirk said he drove one with the Iraqi & Afghan Central for years. - Justice - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 6:56 pm: The high speed rail planning commission is going back to the drawing board. - just sayin' - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:21 pm: The fugitive’s name is Doctor Richard Kimball! - Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:30 pm: Ohhhhh…I guess that explains why Kirk asked for a globe today and has been spinning it non-stop in a clockwise rotation since it arrived. - Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:36 pm: Expect a request from the Campaign later tonight, Rich, to post a “before” picture below the current one. Even superheros–no matter how determined–need to take a break to rest at some point. - Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 7:58 pm: Never mind. A squabble just broke out in front of him about whether it’s supposed to be clockwise or counterclockwise, he got upset, stopped spinning, and stomped off–mumbling something about updating his bio. - Red Ranger - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 9:55 pm: Speaking with reporters after the election, former Quinn Campaign Manager Ben Nuckles was asked about the Quinn campaign plan. Showing reporters a copy he stated, “as with most of my campaign plans, I prefer pictures instead of words.” - Eileen Left - Thursday, Oct 14, 10 @ 10:22 pm: caption:Pat Quinn’s campaign. Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.