“I said, no more shines, I’m the Mayor now. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been in Springfield a long time. They didn’t go down there and tell you. I don’t shine shoes anymore. You see, Speaker, sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…”
“Speaker, I am so sorry. What I should have said is there are 6 jobs worth having in government; President, Governor of California, Governor of New York, Mayor of New York, Mayor of Chicago, AND Speaker of the Illinois General Assembly. I made a mistake, okay? …serioulsy … I am sorry.”
Ok, now we got to make Quinn responsible for the City’s budget problems. Shouldn’t be too hard - he just loves to hear himself talk. He’ll say anything if it makes him think that he’s in charge.
Mike, go with me here, there’s a guy with a camera over there and I see a caption contest where “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli” will be rehashed for the one-thousandth time on Capitol Fax. Hilarious.
[Sorry wordslinger, but you phoned it in. I know you’re better than that.]
G. Gordon Libby put his hand over the flame for a long time. That’s nothing. I held out til my finger was cut in half. Just a reminder about who is tough.
See, Mike, they’ve got these things new things called “smartphones” that let you send texts and emails as well as talk. Mine comes with a full keyboard on which I can type over 30 words per minute with just my thumbs.
Do you ever have a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
No?
Why am I the only one.
(h/t Real Genius. Great movie.)
- Ghost of John Brown - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:17 am:
“OK Mike, you’re an expert on this, so I’m interested in your opinion…….how long do I wait to squish Ed Burke like a bug?”
RE: I know it’s early, but my 2 thumbs up this week goes to Kirk for transforming Lynn Sweet’s blog into his own personal craigslist. Did you see him trying to woo the Daleys? Class.
“Rich Miller told them to keep comments about my hand gestures here clean. That’s even more ridiculous than Mary Ann Ahern bugging me about my kids going to the Lab School.”
Your daughter Lisa, she’s got a daughter right? Well, I have a son. This state is nuts for aristocracy. Let’s say we call the shadchen to arrange something for the 2020s.
“How would I handle Pat Quinn … Speaker, there’s two kinds of dumb, uh… guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in your living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with. Pat Quinn is barking in your living room …”
“Mike, nothing hurts as much as you think it will. You go numb… then you wrap your belt around your wrist and get to the nearest hospital.”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:20 pm:
“So Rich calls me on his last day, and he says, Rahm, I put two envelopes for you in the top desk drawer. But I don’t get it. Mike, do you know what this is about? Is it some kind of south side thing?”
…so, I ask him…if you really believe you are Abe Lincoln one day, Ronald Reagan the next, and Dirksen the day after that, what does that make me and Mike on those days…and you know what he said?….
No, we should do it now, while Miller’s web site is still dark. No one will ever understand what our thing really does and by the time he decides to come back to work, some other crazy issue will distract his commenters and no one will be talking about us. Now is the time Speaker.
- Cook County Commoner - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:46 pm:
Listen, Mike, the Daleys and the President sent me to Chicago to work with you to scrape up the dough to keep our man BO in the White House. Maybe your kid wants to go federal?
“When I left town in ‘92 with Clinton you were carrying that George Bailey-sized briefcase. When I came back in 2000 and left in 2004, you were still carrying it. Now, I come back from DC in 2010 and you continue to carry that raft-sized thing. Mr. Speaker, I am curious. What IS in there?”
- Steve Bartin - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 3:46 am:
Ed Burke promised me a better property tax deal on my house.
- doug dobmeyer - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 4:11 am:
Mike,
Have you considered retiring…I’d like to be king maker for a while?
- Precinct Captain - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 4:48 am:
“Bye bye baby.”
- wordslinger - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 4:50 am:
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”
- One to the Dome - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 6:25 am:
wadda we do about this guy named “Quinn”?
- Lefty - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 6:29 am:
You know those Cubs tickets we talked about? Never mind.
- OneMan - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:02 am:
You know who is the new sheriff in town now? This Guy…
- South of I-80 - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:07 am:
Was it your idea to dump Olin Kreutz? It wasn’t mine!!
- dave - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:13 am:
Did you see what Rich Miller wrote this morning in the CapFax?
- Allen Skillicorn - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:24 am:
This is my town now, I got this.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:48 am:
“I’ll make Quinn an offer he can’t refuse …”
word grabbed the cannoli bit.
- Leroy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:49 am:
How DARE you ask me where my children are going to school! You’ve done this before!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:51 am:
“I’m going to blame Quinn, you blame Quinn too, then we’ll let Quinn and Cross blame you, Speaker, so I still look like the good guy…”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:56 am:
“I said, no more shines, I’m the Mayor now. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been in Springfield a long time. They didn’t go down there and tell you. I don’t shine shoes anymore. You see, Speaker, sometimes you don’t sound like you’re kidding, you know, there’s a lotta people around…”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:01 am:
“Lemme tell YOU how it works now, ‘MR. SPEAKER’, Eddie Burke is driving HIMSELF to work now … Capice? …”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:04 am:
“Speaker, I am so sorry. What I should have said is there are 6 jobs worth having in government; President, Governor of California, Governor of New York, Mayor of New York, Mayor of Chicago, AND Speaker of the Illinois General Assembly. I made a mistake, okay? …serioulsy … I am sorry.”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:06 am:
“When I get done with Burt Odelson, the only ‘lawyering’ he will be doing is traffic tickets and real estate closings…”
- Elmhurst - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:08 am:
So which one of us do you think those guys over there are more scared of?
- Bob - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:09 am:
Barack promised all this stimulus money! Now what are we going to do?
- OneMan - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:17 am:
When you guys do that charity show down in Springfield, I will tell you is going to get the principal dance role, this guy…
- Aldyth - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:18 am:
That’s a really nifty red tie, Mike. That’ll trick them into thinking that we’re bipartisan. Maybe we should all get red ties.
- Dooley Dudright - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:34 am:
RE: “This briefcase. It’s ‘Betsy’. All the CUB meeting minutes and Super 8 receipts. Right here.”
- MrJM - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:37 am:
“So I was supposed to get the Paul McCartney tickets? Well, crap.”
– MrJM
- Huh? - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:55 am:
Why don’t you bring the misses, Lisa and the kids over for a bbq on sunday?
- Stones - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:58 am:
Roy Williams AND Marion Barber? Two thumbs up!
- Judgment Day - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:02 am:
Ok, now we got to make Quinn responsible for the City’s budget problems. Shouldn’t be too hard - he just loves to hear himself talk. He’ll say anything if it makes him think that he’s in charge.
- Fed Up - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:02 am:
“Quinn’s an idiot… pass it on”
- reform - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:08 am:
“Nice job on the new maps, Mike. Don’t you love how the hapless GOP claims the maps are unfair to Latinos?”
- Wumpus - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:19 am:
Scott Walker’s got nothin on me!
- The Third Ex Cub - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:24 am:
And that’s what we’re gonna be, Mike. We’re gonna be cool.
- Cincinnatus - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:24 am:
Me, or Lisa after Pat?
- aufjunk - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:26 am:
“What’s that? You say you’ve stabbed me with an invisible knife? You’ve gone mad again!”
- just sayin' - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:35 am:
Mike, go with me here, there’s a guy with a camera over there and I see a caption contest where “Leave the gun. Take the cannoli” will be rehashed for the one-thousandth time on Capitol Fax. Hilarious.
[Sorry wordslinger, but you phoned it in. I know you’re better than that.]
- amalia - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:38 am:
G. Gordon Libby put his hand over the flame for a long time. That’s nothing. I held out til my finger was cut in half. Just a reminder about who is tough.
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:39 am:
The most powerful man in Illinois state politics confers with the most powerful man in Illinois state politics.
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:40 am:
So you had issues with Rich; I had issues with Rich. But we had to play nice with him. He’s gone now, and this is what I think we should do . . . .
- walkinfool - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:42 am:
They need you in Washington.
- Bluefish - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:43 am:
See, Mike, they’ve got these things new things called “smartphones” that let you send texts and emails as well as talk. Mine comes with a full keyboard on which I can type over 30 words per minute with just my thumbs.
- just sayin' - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:45 am:
Those #@%!!*# unions want to say I forgot where I came from? #@%!!* them. Look at me leaning leaning left here. %$!##!
- JBilla - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:56 am:
So here’s how you deal with the labor unions, its a combo of a pink slip and a dead fish, I call it a Lox and Bagel.
- Cheswick - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:57 am:
Rahm: Okay, I’ll demonstrate. One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war. Now let’s try it together.
- The Third Ex Cub - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:08 am:
Madigan: Jump a shark? That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!
Emmanuel: Stupid, yes. Also dumb. But it is something I’ve gotta do. Heyy!
- mokenavince - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:15 am:
We get rid of the mamaluc Quinn, and Lisa gets the nod.Deal?
- Elmhurst - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:17 am:
Do you ever have a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
No?
Why am I the only one.
(h/t Real Genius. Great movie.)
- Ghost of John Brown - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:17 am:
“OK Mike, you’re an expert on this, so I’m interested in your opinion…….how long do I wait to squish Ed Burke like a bug?”
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:18 am:
RE: I know it’s early, but my 2 thumbs up this week goes to Kirk for transforming Lynn Sweet’s blog into his own personal craigslist. Did you see him trying to woo the Daleys? Class.
- teachin... - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:26 am:
So, this apple thing… can you hook me up?
- zatoichi - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:37 am:
I saw we’re #50 on the net asset poll. What’s your plan?
- KeepSmiling - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:38 am:
So we could wrap the fish or just lay it in the box.
- dizzy cow - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:41 am:
Rahm: “…… and then it just pops out and swims away.”
Mike: ” wow so that’s where baby whales come from…. cool.”
- Political Junkie - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:41 am:
Mike, did you hear shark week started last night?
- Lady GaGa - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 10:58 am:
Mike if anyone asks, tell them I’m taller than Putin and that I am a black belt in ballet.
- Voice of Experience - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:01 am:
Okay, remind me again… who is that bald guy that keeps talking but never says anything?
- PublicServant - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:05 am:
Ok Mike, it’s thumbs-up for now, but cross me and you’ll get what’s left of my middle finger.
- Boone Logan Square - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:06 am:
“Rich Miller told them to keep comments about my hand gestures here clean. That’s even more ridiculous than Mary Ann Ahern bugging me about my kids going to the Lab School.”
- soccermom - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:06 am:
My staff screwed up, my briefing notes said, “Leave the gun, take the cannoli,” and now I have this pain right here….
- cermak_rd - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:24 am:
Your daughter Lisa, she’s got a daughter right? Well, I have a son. This state is nuts for aristocracy. Let’s say we call the shadchen to arrange something for the 2020s.
- Hot Sauce - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:27 am:
” (sniff) Blackbeards Delight or London Gentleman? Wait, don’t tell me. You’re wearing Sex Panther!!!”
- bored with press - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:30 am:
New Chicago Mayor blows lint off Speaker’s jacket.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:31 am:
“Speaker … (whispering) …I’m Batman”
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:35 am:
“Hey Mike…all the times I yelled about that zanny Duckworth, forget about it.
Now, when do I get my casino?
Got have it right away.”
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:40 am:
Rahm “That’s my stomach growling, maybe we can get something to eat at The Cubby Bear or Harry Carey’s before the concert” “Are you in Mike?”
- Excessively Rabid - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:49 am:
Obama gave me this tie…I used to work at the White House, you know.
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 11:59 am:
“I know you’re not stupid, so maybe you’re just deaf. I said, I’M THE NEW DEM BOSS IN DIS TOWN!”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:04 pm:
“How would I handle Pat Quinn … Speaker, there’s two kinds of dumb, uh… guy that gets naked and runs out in the snow and barks at the moon, and, uh, guy who does the same thing in your living room. First one don’t matter, the second one you’re kinda forced to deal with. Pat Quinn is barking in your living room …”
- 10th Indy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:11 pm:
“Mike, nothing hurts as much as you think it will. You go numb… then you wrap your belt around your wrist and get to the nearest hospital.”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:20 pm:
“So Rich calls me on his last day, and he says, Rahm, I put two envelopes for you in the top desk drawer. But I don’t get it. Mike, do you know what this is about? Is it some kind of south side thing?”
- olin - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:33 pm:
it’s my training. i am graceful. this IS how i butt heads.
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:38 pm:
…so, I ask him…if you really believe you are Abe Lincoln one day, Ronald Reagan the next, and Dirksen the day after that, what does that make me and Mike on those days…and you know what he said?….
- Boone Logan Square - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:39 pm:
“Over/under, Zagel gives Rod 12 years on Oct. 6. I have fifty bucks on the over.”
- Gregor - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:42 pm:
“How you like DEM apples?”
- 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:44 pm:
No, we should do it now, while Miller’s web site is still dark. No one will ever understand what our thing really does and by the time he decides to come back to work, some other crazy issue will distract his commenters and no one will be talking about us. Now is the time Speaker.
- Cook County Commoner - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:46 pm:
Listen, Mike, the Daleys and the President sent me to Chicago to work with you to scrape up the dough to keep our man BO in the White House. Maybe your kid wants to go federal?
- The End Is Near - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:50 pm:
“You’ll get thanks and appreciation . . . If you know what I’m saying.”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 12:55 pm:
“Speaker, before we start this meeting… when you told me ‘You’ll be fine’ out in the hallway… what does that really mean?…”
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 1:22 pm:
Lou Reed shares secrets of the Transformer recordings sessions.
- Goodnight Ladies - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 1:38 pm:
When I walk into a room wearing this tie, the ladies just seem to pass out…they can’t help themselves.
- railrat - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 1:52 pm:
UH Mr. Speaker you that happy to see me?
- Greg G. - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 2:23 pm:
Hey Mikey, let me be king for a day!!!!!!
- Tommydanger - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 2:46 pm:
So I was telling LiLi, that’s my pet name for your daughter, oh, I uh probably should not have told you that.
- Bring Back Boone's - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 2:50 pm:
Rahm: “So when you cut the apple you cut it towards you?”
- Clark Kent - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 2:55 pm:
Pardon me, but do you have any grey poupon?
- Come on man! - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 5:11 pm:
Rahm-Looks like I got out DC when the getting was good, huh?
- WazUP - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 5:25 pm:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLzqQupzzmA&feature=related
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 5:29 pm:
I’ve looked through the Chicago budget now. Can you tell me where to get some of those magic beans?
- x ace - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 6:46 pm:
Let’s blow this pop stand and see if Miller will buy a drink down at………………..
- Anonymous - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:13 pm:
“When I left town in ‘92 with Clinton you were carrying that George Bailey-sized briefcase. When I came back in 2000 and left in 2004, you were still carrying it. Now, I come back from DC in 2010 and you continue to carry that raft-sized thing. Mr. Speaker, I am curious. What IS in there?”
- Pat Robertson - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:20 pm:
Can you get me a good table at Saputo’s?
- John A Logan - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 7:27 pm:
Rahm: I really want what is best for the people of Chicago, just as you want what is best for the people of Illinois. hahahahahahahahahahahha…..
- wordslinger - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 8:41 pm:
Just Sayin, LOL, I was up early and just wanted to beat Oswego Willie to it.
It’s on AMC right now how about this?
“… it’s nothing personal, Mikey. Just business.”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:27 pm:
Hey word …
Watching it now too …”go to the mattresses”
- Rahm's Parking Meter - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:41 pm:
Rahm to Mike: You talkin to me? You Talkin to me about budgets? I run the show Mike……
- zatoichi - Monday, Aug 1, 11 @ 9:44 pm:
Over there. At about 2:00. With the mic. Ain’t that Roma?