So, how much superglue did you use on this new nail set?
- Ghost of John Brown - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:56 am:
“I #*(&%& told you I wanted the *(*&%-*&@* Band-Aid brand, not some &%(*% knock-off brand. I will #*%&# bury you for that. Do you @$*&% know who the #*&% I am?”
- Ravenswood Right Winger - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:50 am:
“You only have 9.5 fingers!”
“I privatized the missing digit.”
- titan - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:54 am:
No, Mr. Mayor, you have that backwards, I use MY finger …
- Happy Returns - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:55 am:
“You think how I dissed chik-fil-a was bad, I LITERALLY gave Arby’s the finger!”
- OneMan - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:57 am:
Moments before they were going to test the blood a voice cried out…
“Don’t touch it, it is per evil”
BTW, I think Happy Returns wins…
- Downstate weed chewing hick - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:57 am:
No,no, no, use this finger. I use the other one too much for work.
- Homer J. Simpson - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:03 am:
Did they find a cure for Tourette Syndrome?
- amalia - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:06 am:
Rahm is having his most precious assets…his fingers… examined.
- KGB - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:09 am:
That hurt. But you seem nice, so I’m only gonna give you the ring finger.
- Todd - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:10 am:
No you can’t have another one, I need the rest of them
- Wensicia - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:11 am:
“You see? It’s real blood, not ice water like some claim.”
- Adam Smith - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:11 am:
“On the outside it’s living human tissue. Underneath it’s a hyper-alloy combat chasis, micro-processor controlled…”
- Downstate - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:17 am:
“Yes, come to think of it, I guess that is odd. My middle finger, unlike my view on marriage, has always been rigidly straight.”
- Bakersfield - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:27 am:
“Hey this test wont reveal I’ve been eating Chick Fil A nonstop every day for the past few months will it? The public cant know!”
- Anonymice - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:37 am:
“Holy cow! It’s Cubs blue!”
- WazUp - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:44 am:
This little piggy went to D.C.
This little piggy came home
This little piggy ate the teachers union
and this little piggy…oops!
- zatoichi - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:54 am:
So, how much superglue did you use on this new nail set?
- Ghost of John Brown - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 10:56 am:
“I #*(&%& told you I wanted the *(*&%-*&@* Band-Aid brand, not some &%(*% knock-off brand. I will #*%&# bury you for that. Do you @$*&% know who the #*&% I am?”
- Boone Logan Square - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:04 am:
“I left some skin off the knuckles in Libertyville and Skokie. Worth it.”
- Ron Burgundy - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:06 am:
“Mr. Mayor, is blood supposed to fizz like that?”
- Tommydanger - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:32 am:
Even though people say you’re such a big one, I’m only going to give you a little one.
- D.P. Gumby - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:39 am:
“Hmmm…you have a very long life line, but it doesn’t travel down to this finger?”
- wordslinger - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 11:44 am:
“So that chicken just came of of nowhere and bit you, huh? Strange that.”
- Jake From Elwood - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:01 pm:
Let’s hope the photographer left before the more invasive medical procedures began.
- Southern Illinois - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:02 pm:
Keep in mind that finger’s insured by Lloyds of London.
- bullet - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:18 pm:
maybe this is why my math never works out?
- Palos Park Bob - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:28 pm:
“This confirms it. There’s not a drop of decency in this guy!”
- Newsclown - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:32 pm:
“How much is it to burn the fingerprints off, and does it hurt much? I’m asking for a friend….”
- RFR - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:36 pm:
Mr. Mayor, the test results are back, and it’s true you have more power in your ring finger than any other politician in Cook County.
- Give Me A Break - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 12:50 pm:
Hurry up with the bandaid before Brady blames Madigan for me getting blood on the floor.
- Quinn T. Sential - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:07 pm:
After we’re finished the baby sized sample, we are moving in for the sangre del grande special, so its time to man up:
ChicagoRedCross Red Cross says blood supply at lowest level in 15 years – USATODAY.com usat.ly/MKEvQ4#.UBaMen… via @USATODAY Can you help?
- Judgment Day - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:09 pm:
Um, your honor, holding your middle finger and having you cough just doesn’t meet the requirements.
- G'Kar - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 1:43 pm:
“Ah there has got to be some blood in there somewhere . . .”
- mokenavince - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 2:12 pm:
Polish or buffed? Just go easy on the on cuticles.
- ZC - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 2:47 pm:
“So your blood pressure’s very good for a man your age, but I would lay off the John Kass columns.”
- Siriusly - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 3:24 pm:
ouch!
- One to the Dome - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 5:33 pm:
Pick one. Well anyone that’s left
- Pale Rider - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 8:38 pm:
Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. . .
- sm73 - Monday, Jul 30, 12 @ 9:00 pm:
The City’s speech therapist prepares to fit Mayor Emmanuel with a prosthetic finger.