Yes, Jack [Lavin], I remember. I would fix the problem if I could. It isn’t mine to fix. They have to do their job. Is that right, Jack? Oh, one more thing, which tie do you think I should wear?
Hey diagonal blue stripes, it’s me Pat. Just checking in. You’re late and this tie isn’t lucky until you get here. Call me back. Or just get here when you can. Thanks.
“I know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking to win, I can tell you I won’t let you. But what I will do is use a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter win now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will embarrass you.”
“Hello, you have reached the state of Illinois budget hotline. For pension fixes press 1. For educational fixes press 2. For gambling fixes press 3. For medicaid fixes press 4. For the state employee contract negotiations press 5. For the guy who can fix all of your problems press 6. “
For “yes,” press 1. For “no,” press 2.
For “yes, er, no,” press 3.
For “no, er, yes,” press 4.
For effective governance and getting things done, please stay on the line; the first available operator will be with you shortly…
Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and the next available operator will be with you in…5 minutes…unless this is Pat Quinn again in which case the the next available operator will be with you in…678 days.
Telephone, sung by Governor Gaga, enhanced by VanillaMan
Hello, hello baby, you called? I can’t hear a thing
I have no power under the Dome, you see
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh? You’re breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m not busy.
N-not busy
N-not busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you
But, I’m not busy
Just a second, I stepped into something
And AFSCME says I’m no longer their king
They should’ve made plans with me, because I’m sometimes busy
And now you won’t stop calling, and I’m feeling dizzy
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my head and career on the GA floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my heart and my brains on the GA floor.
My telephone, m-m-my telephone
Cause I’m out of my mind
And I’m often maligned
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone…
Initial reaction of cell phone providers viewing the photo for the first time:
Apple rep: “OMG, more bad press”.
Android rep: “OMG, more bad press”
Blackberry rep: “This is supposed to be a good thing?”
Nokia/Microsoft: “Somebody’s actually using our phone?” Pat Quinn????
Amazon: “I wonder if he purchased it over the Internet? And paid taxes on it?”
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Mike
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Mike-y it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we had, tax hikes?
Yeah, I, I know it’s hard to remember,
The people we used to be…
It’s even harder to picture,
That you’re not here next to me.
You say it’s too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down
I’ve wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I’m paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called a truce,
But even the sun sets in paradise
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Rahm
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Rahm-y it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made for Good?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid budget, I’ll be sick
Oh, you turned your back on tomorrow
‘Cause you forgot yesterday.
I gave you money to borrow,
But you just gave it away.
You can’t expect me to be fine,
I don’t expect you to care
I know I’ve said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down
I’ve wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I’m paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called for a truce,
But even the sun sets in paradise
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Tom
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Tommy it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made for Golf?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid “letter”, I’ll be sick
Now I’m on my Cell Phone.
Yeah, Yeah, Now Mike don’t hang up,
So I can tell you what you need to know,
Mike I’m begging you just please don’t go,
So I can tell you what you need to know
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call John
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Johnny it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made have gone?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid Veto, I’ll be sick
Now I’m on my Cell Phone…
“No, no message from Madigan or Cullerton, but that Disney lawyer left another 3 messages about the Python and Copyright infringement, cease and disist, blah, blah, I eventually just hung up. He left a number …”
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:28 am:
Yes, I am the one who posted the Dodge Dart for sale on Craigslist, it has low mileage…..
- A Naughty Moose - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:29 am:
This photo’s a fake. The real Pat Quinn never listens.
“1 ringy dingy, 2 ringy dingy, hello, this is Ernestine, your telephone operator. Uh, Mr Quinn, I wanted to talk to you about the State’s telephone bill…..uh, hello, Mr Quinn…..Mr Quinn? Dang, he hung up”.
I scribbled my new pension proposal on that napkin last night and accidentally left it at the McDonald’s on MacArthur Blvd … Can you try to find it in the garbage can please?
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:33 am:
Willy en fuego with the song..that is now stuck in my head, thanks for that, bro.
———————————————————————————–
“Bruce, I am here to tell you. Don’t do it. Save the money. By the way, have you thought any more about that uh, friend of mine who might be looking for a job in 2015?”
Hello, this is Pat Quinn… Pat Quinn, Pat Quinn the governor of Illinois… Illinois, Illinois. You know, the state that is home to people who work hard, farmers, lawyers, newspaper columnists, doctors, factory workers, clerks… where people have issues, real issues, tough problems that require a strong leader with a firm grip on the wheel, focused and always on track… hello, hello are you still there ??
Operator, well could you help me place this call?
See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded.
he’s in charge of the GA with my best old ex-friend (fill in the blank),
A guy he said he knew well and sometimes hated.
Isn’t that the way they say it goes? Well, let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it,
So I can call just to tell ‘em I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow, I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn’t real, but that’s not the way it feels……..
–“And the operator says ‘40 cents more for the next 3 minutes.’ Please!” –
Been a while since Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show popped in the head, lol.
“Sylvia’s Mother,” written by Chicago’s own multi-talented Shel Silverstein. Playboy cartoonist, children’s author (”The Giving Tree”) and writer of the immortal “Boy Named Sue.”
Silverstein gave the lyrics to Cash on spec. JC sang it the first time live at San Quentin, reading off Silverstein’s letter, laughing as he went along. The live recording went No. 1 and was one of his biggest hits.
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:28 pm:
“Thank God for my ObamaPhone!”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:33 pm:
I learn the most interesting things here, especially from word
Who knew that the same dude wrote “Sylvia’s Mother”, “The Giving Tree,”and “A Boy named Sue?”
AA, Silverstein also wrote “Cover of the Rolling Stone” for Dr. Hook, “One’s on the Way,” for Loretta Lynn “Put Another Log on the Fire” for Tompall Glaser.
He did a lot of theater in New York with Jean Sheperd, creator of “A Christmas Story.”
Interesting dude. You’d recognize his cartoons in the old Playboys (after you were done reading the articles, of course). Not the typical career path for a nice Jewish boy from Chicago.
You’re on The Joe Walsh Radio show!
Caller, what’s your question?
“Um- how do you get your own radio show, and can WIND use a show hosted by a sexy former governor?”
Hello?…Uh…Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can’t hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?…Oh-ho, that’s much better…yeah…huh…yes…Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri…Clear and plain and coming through fine…I’m coming through fine, too, eh?…Good, then…well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine…Good…Well, it’s good that you’re fine and…and I’m fine…I agree with you, it’s great to be fine…a-ha-ha-ha-ha…Now then, Dmitri, you know how we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb…The *Bomb* Dmitri…The *hydrogen* bomb…
“Look Sheila, don’t believe everything you’re told. The Speaker will not adopt you if you bail on me. Polls aside, I’m what’s best for your political future.”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:19 pm:
“Call it a ’sequester’ and blame it on the Republicans. Got it. Worked for you, eh? Thanks again, Mr. President. Bye.”
- Philo Center of the Universe - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:19 pm:
PQ channels the immortal Jerry Armstrong…
Operator, operator put me thru to Decatur.
I ain’t got a dime but I’ll send it to you later.
Only one million? How do I get 25 million by next the end of the year?
- Just The Way It Is One - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 5:11 pm:
“YES Mother. Yes–I SAID my prayers AND ate my Wheaties this mornin’–honest! Yes, right–I know there’s only a year ’till the next election. Unopposed? Well…I dunno about THAT! Just don’t worry about it, oK Ma? Ok–God bless you too Mom…Bye.”
(On the phone with Afscme) I can hear you loud and clear
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 6:28 pm:
~Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time
I’m living in twilight~
“Do you hear that Jack? Now you kick some butt over at CMS until they find out who keeps switching my ringtone!”
- siriusly - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 8:56 am:
Hello? Oh, hi Rod. Really? You think I should attack the legislature and blame them? Okay good idea - it worked for you I’ll give it a try.
- Red - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 8:56 am:
“Yes, Mom. I remembered to brush my teeth.”
- Apple - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 8:56 am:
Honestly, Mica, my speeches were much better when I used handwritten notes.
- Reformed Public Servant - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 8:59 am:
Can you hear me NOW??? [call made to Speaker]
- Takes one to know one - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:02 am:
Do-do-do, the number you have reached 217-782-5350 has been disconnected. No further information is available. (REPEAT)
- Wensicia - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:03 am:
Hi, Mike. The Tribune editorial board said the pension problem is on you, so I’m politically off the hook.
- chica1 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:05 am:
Hello, Pat? This is Rahm calling, be sure to check your mail…I sent you a little something.
- ArmyMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:05 am:
Yes, Jack [Lavin], I remember. I would fix the problem if I could. It isn’t mine to fix. They have to do their job. Is that right, Jack? Oh, one more thing, which tie do you think I should wear?
- benji - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:06 am:
Unflip the what? Speak up, I can’t hear you!
- Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:06 am:
“Hey, Scott Lee. Yeah, it’s Pat. You still available?”
- Fungo - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:06 am:
Hey diagonal blue stripes, it’s me Pat. Just checking in. You’re late and this tie isn’t lucky until you get here. Call me back. Or just get here when you can. Thanks.
- Anon - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:07 am:
MJM on the other end of the line:
“I know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking to win, I can tell you I won’t let you. But what I will do is use a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter win now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will embarrass you.”
- Bulbous1 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:09 am:
Hi. This is Jeanne from Credit Card Services. They’re no problem with your account….oh wait…yes there seems to be a problem. Good bye.
- the Patriot - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:10 am:
Uhhhh yea, I was calling about the stuffed Elk heads listed on craigslist.
- Nieva - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:12 am:
This is agent Maxwell Smart. I have replace the Gov. of Illinois. I don’t know yet if MJM working for KAOS but this state is on life support.
- Judgment Day - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:13 am:
“Hang on. Let me grab Betsy, get out of here and into the car so we can continue this conversation and I’ll meet you at IHOP.
What do you mean, can I talk and drive at the same time?”
- Njardar - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:15 am:
I’m so glad I recorded my speech, I sound great! I did such a good job I may go buy another purple tie.
- Former Titan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:16 am:
“Please hold for the next available credit counseling representative.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:16 am:
“You have ….ZERO… voice messages … Main Menu …”
- In_The_Middle - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:17 am:
“Hello, you have reached the state of Illinois budget hotline. For pension fixes press 1. For educational fixes press 2. For gambling fixes press 3. For medicaid fixes press 4. For the state employee contract negotiations press 5. For the guy who can fix all of your problems press 6. “
- Name Withheld - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:18 am:
No - I want extra-large pepperoni, sausage, and mushrooms. And a 2-liter of …. yes, I’ll hold.
- Tweeter - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:18 am:
“Hello, Twitter?”
- Tsavo - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:19 am:
“Jimmy John’s, sandwiches for everyone in the House. Put extra hot sauce on Mike’s sandwich”
- one day at a time - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:20 am:
Yes, I’d like to book a room in Springfield, IL… I have my AARP card… and Oh, will you leave the light on for me?
- SG8prl - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:22 am:
Hi Rachel of cardmember services! Your interested in reducing the interest rate on the state credit card? Great!
- jsg - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:22 am:
“So, Mr. Speaker, but…I…oh ok, I’ll start letting the Attorney General move into my office now…”
- Anonymoose - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:23 am:
“Is this Ms. Cleo for my free tarot reading? “Q” again. You sure you still foresee no problem with Ms. Madigan?”
- Kasich Walker, Jr. - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:23 am:
“I checked. I got ‘em. Now you’re telling me that instead of Facebook I should get on…..there’s a book for that, too?
- Northsider - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:24 am:
For “yes,” press 1. For “no,” press 2.
For “yes, er, no,” press 3.
For “no, er, yes,” press 4.
For effective governance and getting things done, please stay on the line; the first available operator will be with you shortly…
- AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:24 am:
Welcome to the Nostadamus hotline. “The spinning wheels of the Vegas clone will undermine the fix of the geezers lament”.
- Newbie - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:24 am:
(Quinn) Hello, God? Someone said if I called this number, I could reach God…
(The Speaker) Yes, you have reached God. Now here is what you need to do…
- Casual Observer - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:25 am:
You heard right Mr. Bayer, he said layoffs to pay for raises. I tried but there’s nothing I can do. Oh look, a penny.
- Plutocrat03 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:25 am:
No, I’m not interested in a steeply discounted vacation
- wordslinger - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:26 am:
“Yes, Rahm, my refrigerator is running, why do you ask?”
- Bluefish - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:28 am:
Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line and the next available operator will be with you in…5 minutes…unless this is Pat Quinn again in which case the the next available operator will be with you in…678 days.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:28 am:
Yeh mom, I spanked the General Assembly real good.
- BMAN - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:28 am:
Yoda, how can I tell which is the dark side?
- Name Withheld - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:28 am:
Look - I still can’t get channels 7 and 10.
…
Yes, someone will be home between 8 and 4.
- OneMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:28 am:
No one was fooled by the governor holding his sunglasses case to his ear.
- PublicServant - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:32 am:
This is Barney the Purple Dinosaur’s publicist calling, he want’s his tie back.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:33 am:
“Governor … Please … don’t make me read Rahm’s message verbatim.”
- Tired - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:37 am:
Yes Jack we can still hire and promote your fiends before the pensions blow up
- Judgment Day - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:38 am:
“I can talk and drive at the same time. I don’t care what the General Assembly says!
I’m the Governor!!!! (looks for surface to pound on).”
- Cook County Commoner - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:41 am:
I know I still owe you dough for the last cartoon, but I really, really need an animated Squeezy. I’m sure that will get their attentin.
- train111 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:43 am:
588-2300 EMPIRE hangs up on PJQ
train111
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:44 am:
Telephone, sung by Governor Gaga, enhanced by VanillaMan
Hello, hello baby, you called? I can’t hear a thing
I have no power under the Dome, you see
Wha-wha-what did you say, huh? You’re breaking up on me
Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m not busy.
N-not busy
N-not busy
Sorry, I cannot hear you
But, I’m not busy
Just a second, I stepped into something
And AFSCME says I’m no longer their king
They should’ve made plans with me, because I’m sometimes busy
And now you won’t stop calling, and I’m feeling dizzy
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my head and career on the GA floor
Stop calling, stop calling, I don’t want to think anymore
I left my heart and my brains on the GA floor.
My telephone, m-m-my telephone
Cause I’m out of my mind
And I’m often maligned
And you’re not gonna reach my telephone…
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:44 am:
“Governor, sorry … those are your poll numbers … we ran them twice …”
- TRL WGN 1 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:45 am:
Hello, Rod
I was told I could “phone a friend”
Yeah, I tried the audience and they were no help.
can you help?
- City Slicker - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:46 am:
PQ (mouthing and pointing) - I’m on the phone.
Reporters - But governor, that’s the case for your glasses.
- roscoe tom - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:47 am:
So you are going to be there for the speech, Mike
I know your busy schedule so Thanks in advance.
- Judgment Day - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:49 am:
Initial reaction of cell phone providers viewing the photo for the first time:
Apple rep: “OMG, more bad press”.
Android rep: “OMG, more bad press”
Blackberry rep: “This is supposed to be a good thing?”
Nokia/Microsoft: “Somebody’s actually using our phone?” Pat Quinn????
Amazon: “I wonder if he purchased it over the Internet? And paid taxes on it?”
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:52 am:
This WaxVac IS the easiest and safest way to remove my political ear wax!
- Doormat - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:53 am:
I’m sorry. There’s no one here by that name.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:56 am:
Good thing I’m not chewing gum right now or I could step right into….AW! MAN!
- ironman - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:57 am:
Bill Brady, I wish you had won..
- Judgment Day - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:57 am:
Now if his glasses start to fall off, does that mean he’ll drop his phone to catch his glasses?
- Capitol View - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:59 am:
Yes, Mr. President? CIA Director? I’m good at handling crises…
- Joe from Joliet - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 9:59 am:
So, I put my right foot in. I put my right foot out. Then, I put my right foot in again? AND shake it all about?
Wow, that’s a lot.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:00 am:
Hey Scott-I have some stuff I need to pawn. How much for a Lt. Governor nomination in 2014?
- Anon. - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:01 am:
“Hello, operator? Operator? Oh, #@# the durn thing isn’t even plugged into the wall.”
- Tommydanger - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:06 am:
Alright, I’m removing my belt. Now what?
- Leatherneck - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:09 am:
Hello, may I speak with Squeezy?
- WhoKnew - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:09 am:
Hello,
Is this PPPA (Politicer Pass their Prime Anonymous). I need to report a whole bunch of people!!
- Leatherneck - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:10 am:
Better yet:
“Hello, Mr. Whipple–is Squeezy the Charmin there?”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:10 am:
Cell Phone - (Maroon 5)
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Mike
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Mike-y it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we had, tax hikes?
Yeah, I, I know it’s hard to remember,
The people we used to be…
It’s even harder to picture,
That you’re not here next to me.
You say it’s too late to make it,
But is it too late to try?
And in our time that you wasted
All of our bridges burned down
I’ve wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I’m paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called a truce,
But even the sun sets in paradise
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Rahm
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Rahm-y it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made for Good?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid budget, I’ll be sick
Oh, you turned your back on tomorrow
‘Cause you forgot yesterday.
I gave you money to borrow,
But you just gave it away.
You can’t expect me to be fine,
I don’t expect you to care
I know I’ve said it before,
But all of our bridges burned down
I’ve wasted my nights,
You turned out the lights
Now I’m paralyzed,
Still stuck in that time,
When we called for a truce,
But even the sun sets in paradise
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call Tom
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Tommy it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made for Golf?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid “letter”, I’ll be sick
Now I’m on my Cell Phone.
Yeah, Yeah, Now Mike don’t hang up,
So I can tell you what you need to know,
Mike I’m begging you just please don’t go,
So I can tell you what you need to know
I’m on my Cell Phone trying to call John
All of my change I spent on Food
Where have the times gone, Johnny it’s all wrong
Where are the plans we made have gone?
If “Happy Ever After” did exist,
I’d still be on hold for you like this
All those fairy tales are full of it.
One more stupid Veto, I’ll be sick
Now I’m on my Cell Phone…
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:10 am:
Hi.
Is this a good time for you?
Senator Menendez told me I could reach you at this number.
- Publius - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:13 am:
I can clearly see the way ahead.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:15 am:
I really know him!
Friends for years!
Uh, what if I just come for, you know, a White House tour and then go up to his living quarters…huh?
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:18 am:
“Sorry Governor, we will change the securtiy code at the Mansion again. We hope you remember it this time …”
- Leatherneck - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:19 am:
Mr. Whipple to Gov. Quinn:
“Please, don’t Squeezy the Charmin.”
- law abiding citizen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:25 am:
This is amazing. Now if I could only get everyone to spend 15 minutes to save $500 on their auto insurance…
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:25 am:
“Honest, Governor … We will keep trying, but finding a new LG to run with is going to take some time. We’re not miracle workers!”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:28 am:
“No, no message from Madigan or Cullerton, but that Disney lawyer left another 3 messages about the Python and Copyright infringement, cease and disist, blah, blah, I eventually just hung up. He left a number …”
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:28 am:
Yes, I am the one who posted the Dodge Dart for sale on Craigslist, it has low mileage…..
- A Naughty Moose - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:29 am:
This photo’s a fake. The real Pat Quinn never listens.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:32 am:
“Governor, a message …’Blue Horseshoe Loves Anacott Steel.’ Got it?”
- mid-level - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:05 am:
“Let’s have Chuck Norris tell them their COLA is actually a drink.”
- walkinfool - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:06 am:
“You mean I wasn’t put on this earth to fix pensions?”
- dupage dan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:11 am:
“1 ringy dingy, 2 ringy dingy, hello, this is Ernestine, your telephone operator. Uh, Mr Quinn, I wanted to talk to you about the State’s telephone bill…..uh, hello, Mr Quinn…..Mr Quinn? Dang, he hung up”.
- Anonymour - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:18 am:
“I’m willing to wait night and day for Squeezy.
What do you mean snakes can’t talk?”
- Eileen left - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:28 am:
Has MJM announced who the next pope is going to be?
- NW Illinois - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:31 am:
I scribbled my new pension proposal on that napkin last night and accidentally left it at the McDonald’s on MacArthur Blvd … Can you try to find it in the garbage can please?
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:33 am:
Willy en fuego with the song..that is now stuck in my head, thanks for that, bro.
———————————————————————————–
“Bruce, I am here to tell you. Don’t do it. Save the money. By the way, have you thought any more about that uh, friend of mine who might be looking for a job in 2015?”
- j28 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:34 am:
“Hi, Southwest? I need to get away…”
- I don't want to live in Teabagistan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:35 am:
“That’s a nice budget you presented today. Be a shame if something happened to it.”
- Anonymous - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:42 am:
Lisa? Hi. Pat. Yes. You know, governing takes a lot of time, I mean a LOT of time. And kids really do need a full-time mom . . .
- Anyone Remember? - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:46 am:
“Directory assistance? I’m looking for a listing for a John Filan.”
- AFSCME Steward - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:46 am:
Hello, this is Pat Quinn… Pat Quinn, Pat Quinn the governor of Illinois… Illinois, Illinois. You know, the state that is home to people who work hard, farmers, lawyers, newspaper columnists, doctors, factory workers, clerks… where people have issues, real issues, tough problems that require a strong leader with a firm grip on the wheel, focused and always on track… hello, hello are you still there ??
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:49 am:
Hello Walls
- Tankr - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 11:54 am:
Hello Rahm! OMG I,ve lost SQUEEZY. Call Jerry M. ASAP.
- Allen Skillicorn - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:00 pm:
“Sorry Mr Bond ratings agency, Pat cannot come out and play right now.”
- nobody - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:01 pm:
Operator, well could you help me place this call?
See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded.
he’s in charge of the GA with my best old ex-friend (fill in the blank),
A guy he said he knew well and sometimes hated.
Isn’t that the way they say it goes? Well, let’s forget all that
And give me the number if you can find it,
So I can call just to tell ‘em I’m fine and to show
I’ve overcome the blow, I’ve learned to take it well
I only wish my words could just convince myself
That it just wasn’t real, but that’s not the way it feels……..
- Rich Miller - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:10 pm:
“And the operator says ‘40 cents more for the next 3 minutes.’ Please!”
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:23 pm:
Is that a “burner” cellphone?
- wordslinger - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:27 pm:
–“And the operator says ‘40 cents more for the next 3 minutes.’ Please!” –
Been a while since Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show popped in the head, lol.
“Sylvia’s Mother,” written by Chicago’s own multi-talented Shel Silverstein. Playboy cartoonist, children’s author (”The Giving Tree”) and writer of the immortal “Boy Named Sue.”
Silverstein gave the lyrics to Cash on spec. JC sang it the first time live at San Quentin, reading off Silverstein’s letter, laughing as he went along. The live recording went No. 1 and was one of his biggest hits.
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:28 pm:
“Thank God for my ObamaPhone!”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:33 pm:
I learn the most interesting things here, especially from word
Who knew that the same dude wrote “Sylvia’s Mother”, “The Giving Tree,”and “A Boy named Sue?”
- wordslinger - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:39 pm:
AA, Silverstein also wrote “Cover of the Rolling Stone” for Dr. Hook, “One’s on the Way,” for Loretta Lynn “Put Another Log on the Fire” for Tompall Glaser.
He did a lot of theater in New York with Jean Sheperd, creator of “A Christmas Story.”
Interesting dude. You’d recognize his cartoons in the old Playboys (after you were done reading the articles, of course). Not the typical career path for a nice Jewish boy from Chicago.
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:52 pm:
===Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show===
First real concert I ever attended. They opened for Pablo Cruise. Quite the double bill at Chicago Fest, back when it was at Navy Pier. Good times.
I’ve been reading Shel Silverstein to my kids too. Never too young or too old for that.
- The End Is Near - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 12:57 pm:
“Hi, this is Governor Quinn, and I’m returning Lennay Kekua’s call concerning some possible pension fixes.”
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:03 pm:
===I learn the most interesting things here, especially from word===
So true! I always learn something new.
Sorry about the song, - AA -!
It’s always good when Rich also contributes, I learn a bunch then too.
Good stuff all the way around, going to be tough for Rich…
- Jake From Elwood - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:08 pm:
Entertaining stuff folks!
Gotta love a VM and OW song on the same thread.
But PQ is probably dialing 867-5309, right?
- Boone Logan Square - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:09 pm:
Speaker Madigan’s line goes straight to voicemail again.
- boat captain - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:26 pm:
Operator-I was dialing BR549-what-you mean there are no phone numbers with letters in them anymore?
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:27 pm:
- Jake From Elwood -,
Thanks for the kind words, I run a distant second to VM and his songs, so any comparison is high praise.
- Liberty_First - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:31 pm:
Anything you say, just one more thing, who am I talking to again? Hello….hello….
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:39 pm:
“Your message from … 2009… from… an outside caller …’Hi Pat, Rod …I left you 3 envelopes in my desk…’…”
- fairR - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:49 pm:
Beam me up now…
- siriusly - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 1:59 pm:
I should have never borrowed Mike’s cell phone. This antique only has 9 buttons.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:00 pm:
Hello, Magic Kitchen?
Can you give me the winner’s name on that Rich Miller gift certificate, please?
Could you spell that?
S-h-e-i-…. SHEILA SIMON?
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:12 pm:
You’re on The Joe Walsh Radio show!
Caller, what’s your question?
“Um- how do you get your own radio show, and can WIND use a show hosted by a sexy former governor?”
- zatoichi - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:15 pm:
The personal daily affirmations from Stuart Smalley are very relaxing.
- Pardon - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:16 pm:
Yes, Todd, I know, lawyers, guns, & money, every time.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:19 pm:
PQ (singing along, in his head, with the “MuSac” while on hold)
“Here I am…The one that you love…Askin’ for another day…Understand the one that you love…Loves you in so many ways”
- Budget Watcher - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:31 pm:
Operator, could you help me place this call? See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded.
- MrJM - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:44 pm:
- Grandson of Man - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:49 pm:
“No, Henry, I’m genuinely sorry for hurting you and AFSCME members. If you could see me, I’m hanging my head right now.”
- Judgment Day - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 2:56 pm:
“As God is my witness, I thought Squeezy the Pension Python could fly”
- sparky791 - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:01 pm:
God, This is Pat Quinn. I am starting to have serious doubts about when you told me I was put on this earth to fix the pension crisis.
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:12 pm:
Hello?…Uh…Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can’t hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?…Oh-ho, that’s much better…yeah…huh…yes…Fine, I can hear you now, Dmitri…Clear and plain and coming through fine…I’m coming through fine, too, eh?…Good, then…well, then, as you say, we’re both coming through fine…Good…Well, it’s good that you’re fine and…and I’m fine…I agree with you, it’s great to be fine…a-ha-ha-ha-ha…Now then, Dmitri, you know how we’ve always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Bomb…The *Bomb* Dmitri…The *hydrogen* bomb…
- The Doctor - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:17 pm:
“Look Sheila, don’t believe everything you’re told. The Speaker will not adopt you if you bail on me. Polls aside, I’m what’s best for your political future.”
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:19 pm:
“Call it a ’sequester’ and blame it on the Republicans. Got it. Worked for you, eh? Thanks again, Mr. President. Bye.”
- Philo Center of the Universe - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:19 pm:
PQ channels the immortal Jerry Armstrong…
Operator, operator put me thru to Decatur.
I ain’t got a dime but I’ll send it to you later.
- Norseman - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:20 pm:
Really, Squeezy is supporting Lisa. I can’t trust anyone.
- East Central Illinois - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 3:22 pm:
What do you mean that wasn’t really Abe Lincoln in that movie I saw? . . . an actor??? Really? I coulda sworn it was really Old Abe himself!
- Endangered Moderate Species - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 4:08 pm:
“Yes, a two bedroom condo near the ocean. Yes I am planning to retire. When is the earliest I will be arriving? Definitely, winter of 2015.”
- Good Gravy - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 4:10 pm:
They feel funny…are you sure you put the L and R on the right shoe?
- Kerfuffle - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 4:14 pm:
Is that a penny on the floor? A couple of hundred billion more of those and we can balance the budget in no time.
- Scott Liss - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 5:07 pm:
Only one million? How do I get 25 million by next the end of the year?
- Just The Way It Is One - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 5:11 pm:
“YES Mother. Yes–I SAID my prayers AND ate my Wheaties this mornin’–honest! Yes, right–I know there’s only a year ’till the next election. Unopposed? Well…I dunno about THAT! Just don’t worry about it, oK Ma? Ok–God bless you too Mom…Bye.”
- ah HA - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 6:21 pm:
(On the phone with Afscme) I can hear you loud and clear
- Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 6:28 pm:
~Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time
I’m living in twilight~
“Do you hear that Jack? Now you kick some butt over at CMS until they find out who keeps switching my ringtone!”
- Democrat - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 6:46 pm:
“… then I said, make the will of the people the law of the land!”
- Iamthepita - Thursday, Mar 7, 13 @ 10:42 pm:
“So, I gotta put one feet ahead another to walk?” Said Quinn (the guy who can’t afford a smartphone or a decent phone case)