Fake Governor Rauner: If only we could reverse those anti-fraud do-gooder Procurement Provisions Mounty Quinn put into place, I could magically pull $700 million out of my rear.
Well, let’s be honest now, even if there were a magical unicorn and someone caught it, someone from the other party would call it “phony” or a “sham” or “animal detention (i.e. operating) in the extreme” so nothing would get done anyway.
Republicans would blame Madigan for letting the unicorn loose. Dems would want to catch the unicorn if only some Republicans were allowed to vote on catching the unicorn. There would be no “catching” the unicorn.
I saw that magical unicorn. It ran through the Capitol as fast as it could and was last seen headed for the hills. It’s probably 2 or 3 states away by now.
Manar is only off by two orders of magnitude; a unicorn=$1B, decacorn=$10B, hectocorn=$100B. IL needs a whole herd of unicorns, but if they can find the magical hectocorn we’d be home free.
Even if you could spot a dozen of them unicorns can only be caught by persons with a special quality that has historically been in short supply in the capitol.
- Precinct Captain - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:29 pm:
In the mind of the governor, he is the magical unicorn 🦄.
- Formerly Known As... - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:31 pm:
Illinois spent decades ==balancing== our budgets with magical unicorns and heaping debt on our kids.
That gig is over, though some may remain in denial.
- Ahoy! - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:34 pm:
Fantastic quote. And yes, Legislators have been putting the hard choices off for a long time and our problems come with compounding interest.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:37 pm:
Maybe… The pigeons in the Dome are protecting the Unicorn?
To the Post,
As all of this is comical farce, it’s not as simple as a “Schoolhouse Rock” cartoon.
- JS Mill - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:41 pm:
Well… Andy, based on analysis or your bill you definitely didn’t catch one.
- RNUG - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:54 pm:
Well, since you can’t catch the unicorn, try to find all that waste, abuse and fraud. /s
- Dirty Red - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:56 pm:
Not sure there is approp authority for the unicorn division.
- RNUG - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:57 pm:
The unicorn is off eating the magic beans.
- Beaner - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 1:59 pm:
Fake Governor Rauner: If only we could reverse those anti-fraud do-gooder Procurement Provisions Mounty Quinn put into place, I could magically pull $700 million out of my rear.
- Skeptic - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:03 pm:
Well, let’s be honest now, even if there were a magical unicorn and someone caught it, someone from the other party would call it “phony” or a “sham” or “animal detention (i.e. operating) in the extreme” so nothing would get done anyway.
- AC - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:13 pm:
I hear it’s possible to catch a unicorn through working together or executive management”.
- Norseman - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:14 pm:
I thought the Magic Unicorn was called the “Turnaround Agenda.”
- Qui Tam - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:15 pm:
== Well, since you can’t catch the unicorn, try to find all that waste, abuse and fraud. /s ==
Put Mautino on the case!
- Highland, IL - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:16 pm:
Squeezy ate the unicorn….
- @MisterJayEm - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:21 pm:
“Yeah, well… But what if it’s an invisible, magical unicorn? Huh? Hadn’t thought about that, did ya?”
– MrJM
- Exit 59 - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:23 pm:
Republicans would blame Madigan for letting the unicorn loose. Dems would want to catch the unicorn if only some Republicans were allowed to vote on catching the unicorn. There would be no “catching” the unicorn.
- AC - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:28 pm:
While a unicorn is unlikely to fund schools, Puff the Magic Dragon might help.
- Sir Reel - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:46 pm:
I saw that magical unicorn. It ran through the Capitol as fast as it could and was last seen headed for the hills. It’s probably 2 or 3 states away by now.
- Double Nickel - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 2:47 pm:
No unicorns. Only a leprechaun.
- Angry Republican - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 3:05 pm:
Manar is only off by two orders of magnitude; a unicorn=$1B, decacorn=$10B, hectocorn=$100B. IL needs a whole herd of unicorns, but if they can find the magical hectocorn we’d be home free.
- Whatever - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 3:16 pm:
Even if you could spot a dozen of them unicorns can only be caught by persons with a special quality that has historically been in short supply in the capitol.
- RNUG - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 3:50 pm:
Has Rauner let a contract for a unicorn whisperer? Or was that supposed to be Donna Ardiun’s job?
- Union Man - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 3:50 pm:
HINT: Unicorns do not exist…. just sayin’
- Jake From Elwood - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 4:16 pm:
Didn’t Roland Burris capture the unicorn and traded it to Blago in exchange for the Senate seat?
It seems like just yesterday…
- Wensicia - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 4:33 pm:
The unicorn devoured by Squeezy quite some time ago.
- Earnest - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 4:36 pm:
I think Governor Rauner heard a rumor about a unicorn the other day. And he said he spoke to Mike Madigan on the phone about it.
- titan - Monday, May 9, 16 @ 4:39 pm:
If there was a magical unicorn running through the capital, somebody would have caught it by now.
… and they’d have eaten it, along with the goose that lays the golden eggs.