“Well, I got someone a garbage can last week, I did a 50/50 sidewalk thing on the fall, and I plan on expediting some festival permits, so I’ll be busy outside campaigning for the office of governor of the 5th largest state in America”
“Let’s give a quick round of applause to Mr. Yaffe and Mr. DeGroot… they’re here to take what I say and use it against formidable candidates, as I help Gov. Rauner. Welcome gentlemen.”
Winston Churchill was once asked to give the qualifications a person needed in order to succeed in politics. He replied: “It is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.”
“I came to this race after running into Tio Hardiman at the gas station the other day. We began talking about the 2018 election cycle, then out of no where Rich Whitney pulls up in his Prius…”
Big time…I’m on my way I’m making it
Big time…I’ve got to make it show yeah
Big time…So much larger than life
Big time…I’m going to watch it growing
Big time.
Um……..Hi my name is Amaya…….um……….good appetizers right?…….um……….I’m running for Governor…….uh,um…..things will be different, but the same…..um……………..San Dimas High School Football rules!! -Drop mic leave stage
“I can’t promise you any money you donate today won’t be wasted. It will however be appreciated. So, pass that hat, and I don’t want to hear any change. Paper money, k? Or checks, checks are good… “
“I know it sounds like an odd thing to say about now, but I only rented this room for 90 minutes so if you’re here for the baby shower that’s suppose to start in 5 minutes, stay seated. The rest of us… “
I was announcing my candidacy when I started to float above my body. Then I saw a bright, bright light. I started to look for relatives who had come to greet me as I crossed over to the other side, but the light turned into a train barreling through a tunnel at me. Then I was back in my body and the light had turned into a camera flashbulb. I realized then that I had brought back an important message from the other side: the candidate who has the gold, glitters.
“The question isn’t how many people I plan to help as governor, the question is who’s real chance am I going to ruin by running for governor. For me, I can’t wait to see who’s chance I spoil… “
I’m kind of like the MLB team that wins the first game of the year before the rest of the teams play their first game. I’m alone and in 1st place for now!!
“Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way”
- Name/Nickname/Anon - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:00 pm:
With a B? Billionaire? Oh, I’ve made a mistake.
- Arsenal - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:00 pm:
Don’t bother to plug in that mic alderman, no one’s gonna be able to hear you over that guy’s shirt.
- Rocky Rosi - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:
I can do this people, I just need JB money.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:
“Honestly, I have no idea why I’m running. I just said I would term limit myself and… I dunno… and g question…”
- Skeptic - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:04 pm:
“Thank you, I’ll be here all week…be sure to tip your servers!”
- NIU Grad - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:07 pm:
“Today I’m raising the $20 in gas money needed to drive outside of Cook County…need to start the ‘downstate campaign.’”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:07 pm:
“Well, I got someone a garbage can last week, I did a 50/50 sidewalk thing on the fall, and I plan on expediting some festival permits, so I’ll be busy outside campaigning for the office of governor of the 5th largest state in America”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm:
“Someone help the Lt. Governor up, and give her back her tracking camera…”
- thunderspirit - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm:
“Paging Mister Quixano. Mister Alonso Quixano. Your party is waiting at November 2018.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm:
“I’m as qualified as Evelyn Sanguinetti. That should scare all of you, but… “
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm:
“To dream…. the impossible dream….”
- JS Mill - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:11 pm:
“Listen, nobody thought Donald Trump could win either”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:11 pm:
“Let’s give a quick round of applause to Mr. Yaffe and Mr. DeGroot… they’re here to take what I say and use it against formidable candidates, as I help Gov. Rauner. Welcome gentlemen.”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:11 pm:
And I actually DO HAVE government experience !
- Nick Name - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:12 pm:
“How do I look without a tie? Do I look Rauner-esque enough?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:12 pm:
“I’m here to make life miserable and impossible for any Democrat that has the possibility to beat Bruce Rauner. I’m proud of that.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:13 pm:
“I’ve been out campaigning. All over. The 6th Ward, the 10th Ward, even the 35th Ward… I’ve been like ALL over everywhere…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:15 pm:
“No, being progressive doesn’t mean making things progressively worse in beating Rauner, I’m here to waste money for everyone, including Rauner”
- Casual observer - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:16 pm:
I’m not Rauner. That should be enough, right?
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:16 pm:
“With myself, Mr. Pritzker, Mr. Kennedy and whoever else in the race, you’re gonna get Pat Quinn again, and you’re gonna like it!”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:16 pm:
“I can’t believe it… it’s my own Ward… they’re towing my car… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
“You serious? There’s other offices I could run for besides governor? Really?”
- walker - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
“Yes we can.”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
Winston Churchill was once asked to give the qualifications a person needed in order to succeed in politics. He replied: “It is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year. And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn’t happen.”
- Saluki - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
“I came to this race after running into Tio Hardiman at the gas station the other day. We began talking about the 2018 election cycle, then out of no where Rich Whitney pulls up in his Prius…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:18 pm:
“How about this… I mean well, and, and, and I’ll try real hard… “
- A guy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:19 pm:
OK. Thanks for coming out. Is this mic all plugged into the cassette recorder?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:19 pm:
“Whoa! Sir…Sir!…Sir, thus is a cash bar… “
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:20 pm:
“Vote for me, because nothing demonstrates the history of good government and honesty in this state like making a Chicago alderman governor.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:21 pm:
“Welp… I’m here to say… greed… for lack of a better term… is bad. Greed doesn’t work… “
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:22 pm:
“I just look at the budget crisis as one big pothole, and boy do I know a thing or two about filling potholes!”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:24 pm:
“I’ve seen Springfield, first-hand. The pictures in the book I read… are not only spectacular but show great depth…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:27 pm:
“This is a campaign for governor event, guest parking permits can be picked up at the Ward office…”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:28 pm:
Big time…I’m on my way I’m making it
Big time…I’ve got to make it show yeah
Big time…So much larger than life
Big time…I’m going to watch it growing
Big time.
- EVanstonian - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:30 pm:
Yes, I look forward to running for Mayor in 2019 - I figured why pass up a practice round
- DuPage Bard - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:30 pm:
Um……..Hi my name is Amaya…….um……….good appetizers right?…….um……….I’m running for Governor…….uh,um…..things will be different, but the same…..um……………..San Dimas High School Football rules!! -Drop mic leave stage
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:34 pm:
“I can’t promise you any money you donate today won’t be wasted. It will however be appreciated. So, pass that hat, and I don’t want to hear any change. Paper money, k? Or checks, checks are good… “
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:35 pm:
“Well I was drunk…the day my mom… got out of prison….
…. and I went….to pick her up… in the rain….
….but before I could get to the station in my pickuppppppppp truck……..
….she got run over by a danged old train….
….and I’ll hang around as long as you will let me….”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:37 pm:
“Look to your left. Look to your right. One of those two people will leave here tonight wondering why in the world I think I can be governor… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:38 pm:
“Thank you ma’am for that question and I do plan to hit all 113 counties, including Lincoln County… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:43 pm:
“My name is ‘Pawar’, not ‘Patsy’… “
- Fiscal Sense - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:43 pm:
“In addition to the menu items, the special today is bone in ham with mash potatoes”
- A guy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:43 pm:
The meter is running outside so I’ve asked the wait staff and bus boys to pick up the pace a little.
- Ok - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:45 pm:
Why is every other caption from OW?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:45 pm:
“I know it sounds like an odd thing to say about now, but I only rented this room for 90 minutes so if you’re here for the baby shower that’s suppose to start in 5 minutes, stay seated. The rest of us… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:47 pm:
Still can’t add anything - Ok -?
“Caption?”
“Please, only take the food you know you’re going to eat, I’m getting charged by the plate… “
- Commonsense in Illinois - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:48 pm:
You bet I’m going to visit Lincoln County…why?
- Norseman - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:48 pm:
Tables 1 through 5 can come up to the buffet line now.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:50 pm:
“Well… Pretend my Ward is a little state. I’ve been governor of the 47th Ward for 6 years. That’s impressive.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:53 pm:
“I’ve heard of Charleston… Marion… Yep, even “Kye-Rho”… But where is that Kay-Rho?”
- Huh? - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:54 pm:
No my middle name is not “Fodder”.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:55 pm:
“Opp… Ladies and gentlemen, the guest speaker for us tonight, to rally all of us Democrats together… for me… Diana Rauner… “
- AlfondoGonz - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:57 pm:
“It is written”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:57 pm:
“As governor, I plan on implementing a ‘Graffiti Buster’ type program like I have in my Ward, ending graffiti everywhere in Illinois…”
- RNUG - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:59 pm:
Wouldn’t I be better than Pat Quinn?
- A-Aron - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 3:59 pm:
I heard Gas is cheaper outside of Chicago… We’re gonna change that
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:03 pm:
“I have gotten some really great support from Republicans too, ironically, and a group called ‘IllinoisStop’… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:07 pm:
“Oh yeah?! You’re so smart, how would you waste $50,000 you had to spend?”
- Fiscal Sense - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:10 pm:
“B-9….B-9. The next number is G-11…G-11″
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:10 pm:
“Well, I heard the City Treasurer was thinking about a run statewide, so I figured, meh, why not me too, ya know… “
- Earnest - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:11 pm:
I was announcing my candidacy when I started to float above my body. Then I saw a bright, bright light. I started to look for relatives who had come to greet me as I crossed over to the other side, but the light turned into a train barreling through a tunnel at me. Then I was back in my body and the light had turned into a camera flashbulb. I realized then that I had brought back an important message from the other side: the candidate who has the gold, glitters.
- IllinoisBoi - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:11 pm:
“Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:12 pm:
“I plan on getting the support of all my fellow Alderman, indicted or not… “
- DuPage Bard - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:12 pm:
So, I hear the caps are off- Bruce doesn’t know who he’s messing with- it’s going to be a Pay-War now baby!!
- RNUG - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:14 pm:
Uh … uh … maybe, as Governor … I could, uh … fix that.
- IllinoisBoi - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:15 pm:
I want all of you guys to be my Pawar Rangers and all you ladies to be my Pawar Puff Girls…
- No Longer a Lurker - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:18 pm:
Please write your checks to the “Ameya Pawar for Governor Fund”.
- Downstate Weed Chewing Hick - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:19 pm:
I wanna thank both of you for coming here tonight.
- Veil of Ignorance - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:20 pm:
I’ve studied emergency management and I’d say Illinois’ situation qualifies as a man-made disaster…
I don’t have a billion dollars, but I do have plenty of common sense…
So this guy just had a sling shot and stone and next thing “whammo!” he ended up the head honcho…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:23 pm:
“The question isn’t how many people I plan to help as governor, the question is who’s real chance am I going to ruin by running for governor. For me, I can’t wait to see who’s chance I spoil… “
- Tommydanger - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:25 pm:
Don Quixote is seen delivering his appeal to the Windmill Manufacturers Association.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:29 pm:
“How committed am I? Well, I’m committed, sure, but I ain’t taking a second mortgage on my house committed, so take that for what it’s worth… “
- Anon III - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:37 pm:
If the above commenters want to write comedy, they should apply for a job at SNL.
The guy standing up with the mike in hand has the guts to run for office, and actually got elected. More than some commenting here above.
- Cook County Commoner - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:41 pm:
Those of us who are about to die salute you.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:41 pm:
- Anon III -
If Pawar is running for Governor, the least of his worries is a caption contest.
“Caption?”
“I don’t see me as being completely under qualified. Nope. I see myself with loads of room for growth. Loads. Like ‘lots of lots’ in growth…”
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:42 pm:
Anon III, are we supposed to be impressed?
- 4 percent - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:50 pm:
I’m kind of like the MLB team that wins the first game of the year before the rest of the teams play their first game. I’m alone and in 1st place for now!!
- Gooner - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:53 pm:
“Alderman Pawar addresses the largest crowd he will face during this election cycle.”
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 4:53 pm:
“Chicago aldermen who have moved on to higher office? I’m sure there are a lot…. give me a minute… it’s coming to me…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 5:02 pm:
“What’s my motivation to run? Dan Proft got a radio gig out if his run… “
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 5:19 pm:
–Anon III–
“Oh look at me! I’m too cool to make jokes in a Caption Contest, which is the whole point!”
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 5:21 pm:
“I’m running for Governor in spite of the fact that it will slightly increase my chances of going to federal prison… Slightly.”
- Railrat - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 5:22 pm:
Hey in India 814 million voters !! Illinois democratic control of votes ?! Piece of cake!!
- Huh? - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 5:33 pm:
1.4% - Hey Rahm, one of your alderman is trying to get out of the backyard.
- Triple fat - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 6:02 pm:
“Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall
And did it my way”
- illini - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 6:49 pm:
@Willy - you might have as much fun here as you did with Jason.
@Wordslinger - cudos to quoting the Steve Goodman lyrics - great post.
I take my leave, and tip my hat, to those far more capable than me to add any captions!
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 6:58 pm:
Illini, John Prine, too. He explains in this great recent Rolling Stone article why he didn’t take a writing credit.
http://www.rollingstone.com/music/features/john-prine-at-70-inside-his-wild-past-grounded-present-w458832
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 7:03 pm:
- illini -,
Thanks, appreciate it.
Pawar might be more Icaris than Plummer. Doesn’t mean the funnies won’t continue.
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 8:36 pm:
“Oswego? Never heard of it.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 8:42 pm:
(Tips cap, very respectfully, to - Ducky LaMoore -)
“I’m going to take 5, Mike Noonan asked to speak with me, but I’ll be back… “
- Ducky LaMoore - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 8:51 pm:
(Tips the respect cap to OW)
“I’m back. Talked to Noonan. Does anyone know if Jesse White is really retiring…?”
- illini - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 9:24 pm:
@Wordslinger - thanks for the link. My first recollection to the lyrics was with David Allen Coe.
- blue dog dem - Wednesday, Jan 4, 17 @ 10:37 pm:
“I promise to bring Oreo production back to Illinois”. …”we may have to import milk,however”
- the cardinal - Thursday, Jan 5, 17 @ 8:21 am:
“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and people like me… a lot”
- Exhausted - Thursday, Jan 5, 17 @ 9:05 am:
I’m thinkin about somethin, give me minute…