124 Comments - Chicago Cynic - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:29 pm: “So Mike Madigan walks into the proctologist’s office and the proctologist says…” - Chicago Cynic - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:30 pm: “I promise Governor, this won’t hurt a bit.” - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:30 pm: You see here, I paid for this haircut, I chose this haircut… I like this haircut… - Chicago Cynic - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:31 pm: “Ok Governor, bend over and cough.” Ok, I’ll stop now. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:32 pm: We won’t put even put one GOP sponsor on a bill to pay for our budget… - Casual observer - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:32 pm: “At this point only the Almighty can help us”. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:33 pm: I take my orders from a Higher authority… (Pause)… Bruce Rauner… - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:33 pm: MJM is busy getting reelected for the 60th time by making his constituents happy. You? - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:34 pm: Speaker Madigan is in Charleston, hearing all about the damage being done to students, faculty and staff at EIU, as well as the business community that depends on EIU, and reminding them that Senator Righter voted against helping them eke through this crisis. The better question is where was Senator Righter when SB9 was called? - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:35 pm: You sign one letter pushing comprise… just one… and IPI floods your email with Spam, Spam, Spam… - Give Me A Break - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:35 pm: The first thing to remember during Special Sessions is to wear sunscreen, take a look at Bill who didn’t listen to me. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:35 pm: Number one, I want Eastern Illinois closed… - Casual observer - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:36 pm: Table for one, please. - cdog - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:36 pm: Where IS Madigan? I’m counting to five, then issuing an Amber Alert for the Speaker… one… (That’s priceless that someone is asking where Madigan is. Going to have to look for that video…) - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:37 pm: Oh, there’s one Dem who is with us… Scott Drury… - Downstate - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:37 pm: Where is Speaker Madigan? He’s there and then he’s there, he’s like a phantom. No one ever knows where he really is because he does’t have a cell phone. And then there’s the apple, always that damned apple. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:38 pm: Who’s gonna get this finger pointed at them? Who? Who’s to blame for making me look bad? Who? Who’s gonna vote in an ILGOP majority? Who? Who’s gonna vote for this failed governor, besides me? Who? Who’s going to tell my constituency that the unwanteds living off of them are still alive? Who? Who’s going to send me campaign funds besides Rauner? Who? - Anonymous - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:38 pm: If you pull my finger, the state will implode. Please Mr. Speaker let’s pass a budget. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:38 pm: Number one, I didn’t leak anything to Capitol Fax… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:39 pm: Number one, Coffee is for closers… - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:40 pm: My hands are tied! That’s why I can only raise a finger instead of a hand in support of this state. - Casual observer - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:41 pm: This finger is for pointing. If you see something you want, you point and say I want that. This finger is for…. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:41 pm: (Gritting his teeth, talking trough them) First off, I ain’t no Owl… I asked “where” not “who”… You go ask Sandack about who… I ain’t no Owl… I said “where”, plain as day… - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:42 pm: I have a legacy to protect! I’m the 2015 Mattoon Jaycee Golden Pen recipient! - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:42 pm: Only the shadow knows - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:43 pm: When I feel the time is right, and I’ve come to grips with the reality of life… I will… press… that Green button on my desk… It’s dusty and all, but this finger will light up that Green button… You watch… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:45 pm: You go up there and deal with Jeanne Ives. You tell me how that goes…. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:46 pm: First, Eastern Illinois University is fine with the funding it has… right now… - Can - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:47 pm: “Brady, I’m only going to ask you this one time…why is your face the same color as a tomato?” - Rich Miller - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:47 pm: ===I asked “where” not “who”… You go ask Sandack about who… I ain’t no Owl=== In German, “who” is “wer” Just sayin… - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:48 pm: ===In German, “who” is “wer”=== But we’re in Italy, so you have to make my bunk. - PublicServant - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:48 pm: Speaker Madigan awaits the Republican Revenue bill. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:49 pm: Call me United Airlines, because those Democrats will need to drag me down the aisle to get me off this Hindenburg! - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:50 pm: === asked “where” not “who”… You go ask Sandack about who… I ain’t no Owl=== In German, “who” is “wer” Just sayin…==== (Bangs head on keyboard, mumbles, “who” … Deletes 31 “where” and “who” captions from consideration) - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:50 pm: Call me United Airlines, cause that jumbo rabbit died on Madigan’s watch! - wordslinger - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:53 pm: Maybe Madigan is stading alone in a dark corner of the Old State Cap, rocking back and forth slowly. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:55 pm: Call me Baskin Robbins cuz I’d love me a Junk Bond Blueberry scoop right about now. - Casual observer - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:55 pm: As God is my witness I told the Governor I’ve just about had it. Just about. - Commonsense in Illinois - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:55 pm: I rest my case… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k1uOqRb0HU - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:56 pm: ===But we’re in Italy, so you have to make my bunk.=== It’s not like going to Italy, It’s Czechoslovakia. It’s like going into Wisconsin… “I know one joke, it’s about a German Owl… “ - A guy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:56 pm: This picture will be complete the moment I get a spinning basketball. - Anon221 - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:56 pm: And now, Senator Righter will lead us in a class exercise to get those fingers ready for button pushin’! One little finger, one little finger, one little finger. Tap tap tap. [Tap your finger against your LEG 3 times.] Point your finger up. [Point up!] Point your finger down. [Point down!] Put it on your foot. Foot! [Put your finger on your foot and say in a loud voice, “Foot!”] Put it on your leg. Leg! [Put your finger on your leg and say in a loud voice, “Leg!”] Put it on your arm. Arm! [Put your finger on your arm and say in a loud voice, “Arm!”] Put it on your chin. Chin! [Put your finger on your chin and say in a loud voice, “Chin!”] Put it on your nose. Nose! [Put your finger on your nose and say in a loud voice, “Nose!”] Put it on your head. Head! [Put your finger on your head and say in a loud voice, “Head!”] Now let’s wave goodbye. Goodbye! [Wave goodbye with your index finger.] ♫ - Anonymous - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 12:57 pm: Should I be more worried about being on the wrong side of history or my age inappropriate hair? - Gruntled University Employee - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:00 pm: I often wondered what happened to Garth Algar? - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:01 pm: Ah, the Strawberries, that’s where we had Madigan until we remembered he only eats apples… Well, we kinda sat there for a spell wondering where Madigan was, but now we had a frozen strawberry thief to think about too… - Anon221 - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:02 pm: In case you want the “workout video”;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBVqcTEC3zQ - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:02 pm: Oh yeah? Well me and the Lord, we have an understanding. - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:02 pm: Up is down - Anonymous - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:03 pm: Hey, other Anonumous. If you got hair at our age NOTHING is inappropriate - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:03 pm: One at a time on the path - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:04 pm: The good people of Mattoon didn’t send me here to raise their taxes just to give Chicago Link card holders enough money for their next pedicure! They didn’t elect me to sustain government pensions! They’re tapped out and smell like skunk and cat urine, living in trailers without plumbing, all tatted up and dancing to urban rap music! Rauner might take hostages, he might wreck our state, but by heck at least he’s making unworthy citizens suffer! - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:06 pm: … And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance… and furrrrious anger… those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers…. - Omay - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:08 pm: Watch my imaginary pur-fidget-y spinner. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:10 pm: Red rum. Red rum. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:12 pm: You think Illinois government can’t get worse? Look around! After we’re through implementing Rauner’s agenda, you’ll never depend upon government again! Rauner’ll make you beg for broken down government! - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:13 pm: My number one bedtime reading has to be the goldberg letters - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:14 pm: It’s that light there that makes my hair look like this… it’s fine otherwise… Geez… - SAP - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:15 pm: Our single greatest weapon is fear and surprise… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:15 pm: I had one small cameo in “Dad’s Home State” and wouldn’t you know it, they edited it out… - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:16 pm: We’ve just signed a contract with Victory Auto Wreckers to replace the Seal of Illinois on our state flag with the image of a 1971 Chevrolet Bel Air sedan with the driver’s door falling off onto the street! - So tired of political hacks - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:17 pm: Did you make the call, I didn’t call this group together, did you you make the call? Alright let’s all just keep our mouths shut, and walk outta here, don’t say nuttin. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:19 pm: The state has paid only one settlement this year… in regards to injuries to state employees and that went to… Evelyn Sanguinetti… just like it did last year… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:21 pm: I only have one costume, sir, and this is that costume… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:24 pm: There’s really only one person that could gum up the works… Sam McCann… - Sigh - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:26 pm: Righter: Let me say it ONE more time, I’m for term limits. But the Speaker will not call the bill. Term limits are an important part of the budget and turnaround agenda. Brady (thinking): Dale, you’ve been here since 1998. How many terms is that? - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:27 pm: There’s only been one person who was successful in finding Speaker Madigan… Chuck Goudie… - Winnin' - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:27 pm: Meanwhile, Mike Madigan was seen at EIU’s Old Main building, peering out the window and trying to avoid Dale Righter. “Is it safe?” Madigan asked, noting that Righter is one tough and courageous politician that he fears going toe-to-toe with. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:27 pm: Good question. I first called Saputo’s… - Winnin' - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:32 pm: Said Righter: “I’ve built a career going after Madigan. Year after year. Just ONE time, I wish he would acknowledge me.” - Zimmy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:34 pm: “This is my finger” - DocNoyes - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:36 pm: “The smiling guy behind me is the next to get this finger” - Winnin' - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:38 pm: Said Righter: “Where is Speaker Madigan?” The Careerfella behind me wanted me to ask. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:39 pm: There is only one lead singer of Van Halen and its David Lee Roth… one… So let’s just put that to bed… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:40 pm: We speak with one voice… controlled by one pocketbook… - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:41 pm: What I did, you see, is fix the elevators with one of those sensor cameras… Madigan gets in one… We got em… - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:42 pm: And I said to myself, this is the business we’ve chosen; I didn’t ask who gave the order, because it had nothing to do with business! - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:44 pm: Miller how did you know I was the one that bought junk govenor - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:44 pm: Before we start… First thing… Go Panthers… - Redraider - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:44 pm: Blaming Madigan for everything has already worked once - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 1:53 pm: I’m the number one fan of the Bruce Rauner admiration society - Nick Name - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:02 pm: Pull my finger. - Get it Solved - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:05 pm: Don Knotts is our special guest on the ongoing IL Budget Impasse. He is here to discuss the economic impact it will cause on Floyd the barber having to tax his haircuts. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:11 pm: “One solution, gentlemen: Hair Club for Legislators!” - allknowingmasterofracoondom - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:12 pm: Some ran a primary against me once. ONCE! - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:14 pm: “Republicans have one big tent. I, for example, am an orange man. Bill, behind me there, is a red man…” - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:16 pm: “Mr. Miller, if you ask just one more relevant question, I’ll have you ejected from the room.” - Tommydanger - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:19 pm: He’s got Mike Bost eyes - wordslinger - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:20 pm: –Go Panthers– Soon to be Gone Panthers, in part to Righter’s complicitness. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:20 pm: “What’s that? ‘Scissors’ requires TWO fingers? No WONDER we can’t get a balanced budget.” - Anon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:22 pm: No peripheral vision - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:22 pm: “Well, as I used to say to the kids who teased me in high school, ‘I’d rather be Righter than wronger!’” - PlayK8 - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:23 pm: We will now read from Matthew, Mark, Luke… … and DUCK. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:27 pm: This is the finger I used to push the red button on SB9, and if you think that makes me a hypocrite, I’ve got another finger I can show you. - Tommydanger - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:28 pm: Little Dale Righter, a wannabe fighter Stood and screamed for the Speaker to appear. He stuck up his finger and hoped for a zinger But the Speaker had nothing to fear - cover - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 2:40 pm: = Don Knotts is our special guest on the ongoing IL Budget Impasse. He is here to discuss the economic impact it will cause on Floyd the barber having to tax his haircuts. = We can’t go raisin’ taxes on hard-workin’ people like Floyd! Time to nip it in the bud! - Whatever - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:07 pm: Legislative aide [whispered]: Ummm . . . I think he’s in the other chamber, Senator. - Ginhouse Tommy - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:19 pm: To the sunburned guy in the back of Sen. Righter: What did you shoot on the back nine? or Did you go boating with Rich Miller? or Are you laughing at Sen. Righter’s tie? - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:28 pm: Whoop de doo - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:31 pm: There’s only one Chanel to wach tonight, and that’s your local news at 6:07 - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:36 pm: The 1% own me, a house divided can not stand - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:42 pm: Yes we want taxes to go up now - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:44 pm: Chalk up one win for madigan - West Side the Best Side - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 4:49 pm: “I was downstairs in The Old Capitol Building last night and I heard these strange sounds, like Mr. Lincoln pacing back and forth upstairs where I’m pointing. It really scared me and I’m still scared, you can tell by my face.” - wordslinger - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 5:01 pm: “Number one, lots of governors have liked to stand alone in dark corners in the old state capitol for hours on end….” Geez, did anyone capture the campaign version? Instant classic. Looks like its been scrubbed. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 5:06 pm: “Then the Governor gets this spooky look in his eye, and he says to me, ‘I already pushed the self-destruct button on Illinois. Unity, schmunity, this state’s a goner!” - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 5:10 pm: “One question: Who ya gonna believe? The comptroller, or Bruce Rauner’s TV commercials?” - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 5:40 pm: I just have to find one more republican to vote for a tax increase, join us - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 5:45 pm: I’ll tell you what, I’ll tell you one thing, Rauner has done permanent damage to the GOP - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 6:22 pm: Does my one hand look small - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 6:24 pm: I’m ready to step up and plug that budget hole, where is it? - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 6:33 pm: I’m the only one up here thats pale, I’ve been living in the governor’s shadow - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 6:36 pm: Thats right one day $40,000 - Rabid - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 6:38 pm: Stand back my blame finger is loaded - Johnny Tractor - Wednesday, Jun 21, 17 @ 9:41 pm: “This - this is how many jobs in my district that I care about - wanna guess who has it?” - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 7:41 am: I get one thousand in my reelection fund every time I say madigan - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 7:44 am: The govenor is worth every penny out of that dollar he takes - The Colossus of Roads - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 7:52 am: One is the loneliest number. - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 7:53 am: Alright which one of you put the ” got junk” dumpster in the lawn - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 7:57 am: Tick tock it’s one minute to midnight on the dooms day clock - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 8:05 am: Wait a minute I’ve got an emergency meeting with the govenors chief of staff - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 8:14 am: I know one thing, the govenor does not respect his elders - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 8:18 am: Look at me I’m balancing the imaginary budget on my finger - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 8:23 am: Checking the political wind from the second floor - Rabid - Thursday, Jun 22, 17 @ 8:28 am: I’m going to do some heavy lifting, this is the crane signal for cable up Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.