“Way I see it, Rauner will run ignoring Trump, and my Caucus will try to run away from Rauner. The ‘using Rauner’s money to run away from Rauner’ plan is tricky after that, I grant you… “
“Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that’s what you have here, tonight, boys. That’s what you’ve earned here tonight. One game. If we played ‘em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, we are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It’s over. I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw ‘em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.”
You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this job. Could have been since first grade….could have been since sixth grade…high school….college…definately since November 2010.
“So whatta ya call this thing, anyway? A ring rung? A rung ring? A ringo? I never had a footrest like this on my chair before. I mean, I’m the kind of guy who keeps his feet on the ground.”
“So Evelyn comes in and shakes my hand. Yeah, this hand right here. Then after she leaves I think, ‘Hey, this hand itches a little. No, it itches a LOT.’ What’s up with that, anyway?”
“See this from my perspective… I have to deal with the Governor, Durkin, and the Speaker… Sure, I got John, and John and I can figure things out, but… “
There is this old saying about never be absent when a committee is making assignments. I made a mistake and left to get a drink of water. When I returned, they announced that I had been elected Senate Minority Leader.
Cubs in ‘16, that’s great, I want the SGOP to be referred to as The Brady Bunch. Maybe an idea for a skit for the next Conference of Women Legislators gala?
- West Side the Best Side - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 8:05 pm:
I got my barstool, now where’s my beer? And keep ‘em coming!
Let me list my priorities. The first priority of the caucus is… well… maybe I should rephrase this… Our first priority is… Who am I fooling… I got nothing.
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:49 pm:
She said she was taking a few personal items with her…but the damn desk?!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:50 pm:
“So I got that going for me… which is nice”
- Commonsense in Illinois - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:50 pm:
Come…
- Curl of the Burl - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:51 pm:
“Are you really telling me that you don’t think I can spin this chair REALLY fast?! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”
- 360 Degree TurnAround - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:51 pm:
It’s not funny. Christine took the “B” off the keyboard. ill rady doesn’t sound right like a good leader. Neither does ruce rauner.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:52 pm:
“My Porsche is in the shop, right, so I tell the guy… “
- Realist - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:52 pm:
I feel this big right now!!
- Saluki - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:52 pm:
Jason Plummers Running mate gets a promotion.
- Hawkeye - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:52 pm:
So… I guess I am relevant again?
- Strobby - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:53 pm:
yep, I got the short straw
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:53 pm:
“Oh, no, no, no… I learned from Tom Cross early on… you play golf with Willy, you don’t throw his golf bag in the pond. After that… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:54 pm:
“I’ll take 3 questions, but I have only 2 respondes ready for anything so bare with me… “
- m - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:54 pm:
The plan is everybody comes in, sits here on my lap, and tells me what they want in the budget. Then I check my list…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:55 pm:
“Now? Well… I guess I’ll run for state Senate again… “
- Valeie F. Leonard - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:55 pm:
How you like me now?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:56 pm:
“I told Madigan and Durkin straight away… don’t move up Drury or Ives… They’re your problems… “
- Curl of the Burl - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:56 pm:
“Someone decided to pull a prank and now the chair’s broke. I can’t raise or lower it.”
- Captain Ed Smith - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:57 pm:
Seriously, everyday for lunch a golden delicious..
- illinoised - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:57 pm:
“How hard can it be?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:58 pm:
“The bad news is that I might, again, be stuck with Jason Plummer at some point… “
- ASDFrgfn - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:58 pm:
Looking forward to more meetings with important leaders in our state like the Lt. Gov.
- LessAnon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:58 pm:
Getting 13 votes is WAY easier than several million!
- Lucky Pierre - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:59 pm:
Can you give me a mohawk? And keep it long in the back
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:59 pm:
“Way I see it, Rauner will run ignoring Trump, and my Caucus will try to run away from Rauner. The ‘using Rauner’s money to run away from Rauner’ plan is tricky after that, I grant you… “
- Spliff - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 1:59 pm:
I said “heck yeah Bruce … I’m your guy, i mean after Durkin. … I know he was there first but think of me as #2!”
- Baloneymous - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:00 pm:
I’m the new Paulie. I don’t have to move for anybody. Can sit and twirl right in this bar stool all day. Just watch me
- Cubs in '16 - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:00 pm:
So he grabs me like this and says “cough”. I still have no idea what that has to do with this gig.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:01 pm:
“We will campaign in Cook County. K? Fool me once… “
- 47th Ward - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:02 pm:
“Great moments are born from great opportunity. And that’s what you have here, tonight, boys. That’s what you’ve earned here tonight. One game. If we played ‘em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! Tonight, we are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It’s over. I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw ‘em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.”
- Just Curious - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:02 pm:
I’ll have to get back to you on that.
- bigolpete - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:02 pm:
guys I’m relatable trust me
- Anon221 - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:03 pm:
When I showed this trick to Madigan, he got a little worried…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqURsBPbYb8
- Arsenal - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:03 pm:
Just reminds me of this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4mYjc7g-so
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:03 pm:
“Evelyn can come in, but tell her I cleared everything out, she can just accidentally trip on air and sue the Caucus… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:05 pm:
- 47th Ward -, that would be a Miracle if a speech…
“Now, let’s get to the ‘7 named words you can’t say in Caucus’… “
- Redraider - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:07 pm:
” out of the frying pan and into the fire, it looks really hot”
- wordslinger - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:07 pm:
“I should do what in the other hand?”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:07 pm:
CUBS in ‘16 for the win!!!
- Bigolpetey - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:08 pm:
(Rauner walks in) Rauner: Yeahhhhhh if you could go ahead and come in on Sunday that be greaaat. (Rauner takes Brady’s stapler away)
- Shake - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:09 pm:
I Told You. I Got This New Job. I Don’t Need State Farm For Anything Now.
- Leatherneck - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:10 pm:
I still can’t believe I lost to Quinn!
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:12 pm:
You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this job. Could have been since first grade….could have been since sixth grade…high school….college…definately since November 2010.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:12 pm:
“This is a big job, k, I know that… Doesn’t mean I have to be a tough guy. I’m your pal… We’re all pals… Right?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:15 pm:
“I said ‘John, this is the beginning of a Bee-you-teful friendship… Shook my hand, so I guess things are swell… “
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:16 pm:
“Sam, I invited you here so we can come to… an understanding… K?”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:17 pm:
My answer is: Madigan.
- common_sense - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:19 pm:
If I were him I am not sure I would want anyone to know I belonged to the Illinois legislature.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:21 pm:
“Rich, I think you can tell from the expression on my face how sincerely thrilled I am to be here.”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:23 pm:
“So whatta ya call this thing, anyway? A ring rung? A rung ring? A ringo? I never had a footrest like this on my chair before. I mean, I’m the kind of guy who keeps his feet on the ground.”
- A guy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:24 pm:
I’ve always wanted to be Governor.
Grading on a curve…this is close enough.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:25 pm:
“So Evelyn comes in and shakes my hand. Yeah, this hand right here. Then after she leaves I think, ‘Hey, this hand itches a little. No, it itches a LOT.’ What’s up with that, anyway?”
- Cubs in '16 - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:25 pm:
The Senator is perplexed by the resistance to his suggestion that his caucus henceforth be referred to as “The Brady Bunch”.
- A guy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:26 pm:
Okay, one quick joke.
Dillard and Rutherford walk into a bar…
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:26 pm:
“Then Bruce calls and says, ‘Bill, I’m gonna get ya a nice desk with TWO desk lamps on it.’”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:32 pm:
“Man, I hope this doesn’t mean I have to start wearing goofy costumes.”
- Mouthy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:34 pm:
Look, I really do like puppies…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:34 pm:
“See this from my perspective… I have to deal with the Governor, Durkin, and the Speaker… Sure, I got John, and John and I can figure things out, but… “
- Cubs in '16 - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:34 pm:
“A bus? No, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen the underside of one. Why do you ask?”
- Montrose - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:37 pm:
“This chair was higher, but I reduced it by 10%. See what I did there? See?”
- Wensicia - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:41 pm:
“Can somebody help me down from this chair? I feel like I’m in a Tilt-A-Whirl.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:45 pm:
“About the puppies . . .”
- Huh? - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:51 pm:
Oh God what if I gotten myself into?
- Jocko - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:51 pm:
I gesture to John Cullerton like I’ll shake his hand…the pull it back through my hair.
- Spliff - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:51 pm:
Yeah, i got thirteen votes … not one of them was mine!
- Obamas Puppy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 2:52 pm:
I’m for term limits…Kinda
- Bruce (No, not him) - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 3:06 pm:
This barstool is nice, but where’s the bar?
- Amalia - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 3:24 pm:
see the roll on the chair in front of me? don’t make me use it.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 3:36 pm:
Leader Brady,
Congratulations and my best wishes. You’re a good sport.
OW
“Caption?”
“No, we wait… We wait here in this storage room until Goldberg says the coast is clear… “
- Huh? - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 4:17 pm:
There is this old saying about never be absent when a committee is making assignments. I made a mistake and left to get a drink of water. When I returned, they announced that I had been elected Senate Minority Leader.
- Ole' Nelson - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 4:39 pm:
“Why is there suddenly a string on my arm that controls my voting hand?”
- West Sider - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 5:09 pm:
I can take $40 off, if you buy a full set of Radials-
- James - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 5:28 pm:
“If you wonder where my smile went, it’s this new job, which is already getting on my nerves.”
- GLG - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 5:37 pm:
Let’s go to Luka’s! in Bloomington I’m buying!!
- MyTwoCents - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 7:17 pm:
Cubs in ‘16, that’s great, I want the SGOP to be referred to as The Brady Bunch. Maybe an idea for a skit for the next Conference of Women Legislators gala?
- West Side the Best Side - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 8:05 pm:
I got my barstool, now where’s my beer? And keep ‘em coming!
- LBJ - Friday, Jun 30, 17 @ 8:24 pm:
Wait, I was just elected what?
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 5:57 am:
I knew that it was much more than a hunch
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 6:00 am:
Another GOP bill taking a back seat
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 6:07 am:
golderg what’s in that Kool-aid things look closer than they appear
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 6:36 am:
Lou, stop bogarting and hand that here, I’m in my high chair now
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 6:57 am:
How does this figit spinner chair work
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 7:03 am:
Term limits, that dog don’t hunt, your barking up the wrong tree
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 7:16 am:
I got the word from the top, every time we hear “Rauner” we do a standing ovation
- Triple fat - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 7:18 am:
You call this a reward???
- Triple fat - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 7:23 am:
Let me list my priorities. The first priority of the caucus is… well… maybe I should rephrase this… Our first priority is… Who am I fooling… I got nothing.
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 7:27 am:
When Rauner put my picture next to madigan, he must of known I’d be a leader too
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 8:35 am:
I’m ready for some deep yogurt
- Whatever - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 9:08 am:
As your new captain, my first action will be to hold a lifeboat drill.
- Anonymous - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 9:29 am:
Good luck Pal.. Christine left because Rauner made her look like a fool.
Your next!
- Rabid - Saturday, Jul 1, 17 @ 10:15 am:
To go where no man has gone before