* Dear Chicago Tribunesters,

I know some of y’all are probably proud of your company. Heck, I’m proud of my company. Then again, my company isn’t under two federal investigations, my company didn’t just file for bankruptcy, my company never used its editorial powers to browbeat politicians into voting to allow lights at my decrepit, company-owned ballpark, my company never used all its powers to snag a riverboat casino, my company never “put on hiatus” one of the better state politics radio shows in recent memory, my company never endorsed George Ryan for governor and I, as company owner, have never been referred to as “the ultimate vulture.” At least not to my face.

So y’all will have to excuse me for spitting Pepsi on my keyboard when I saw this lede in the Tribune earlier today…

In an escalating public battle between two landmark institutions, the Chicago Tribune filed a state lawsuit this morning against the University of Illinois

Sheesh.

* Dear Jim Tobin,

What’s with your crusade against the Illinois State Police? Did you get a lot of tickets or something? No offense. Just asking…

“I think they should lay off all the state troopers. I think they’re a total waste of taxpayer money,” [Jim Tobin, the president of National Taxpayers United of Illinois] said. “We have too many cops and state police have proven time and time again they’re glorified Keystone Kops. We won’t miss them one bit.”

…As an addendum, why would any reporter quote this guy?

* Dear Sen. Burris,

Just go away already…

U.S. Sen. Roland Burris, D-Ill., who is under investigation by the Sangamon County state’s attorney for possible perjury for his January testimony before the Illinois House impeachment committee, was at the Sangamon County Complex Monday.

There’s no official word that Burris was at the building as part of that investigation, though in a recent visit to Springfield, Burris said he was anxious to speak with State’s Attorney John Schmidt.

* Dear President Obama,

I understand why you dissed California…

The Obama administration has turned back pleas for emergency aid from one of the biggest remaining threats to the economy — the state of California.

Top state officials have gone hat in hand to the administration, armed with dire warnings of a fast-approaching “fiscal meltdown” caused by a budget shortfall. Concern has grown inside the White House in recent weeks as California’s fiscal condition has worsened, leading to high-level administration meetings. But federal officials are worried that a bailout of California would set off a cascade of demands from other states.

But, heck, man, your home state needs you now. We’re in seriously deep doo-doo here. Plus, did this dance with Pat Quinn mean nothing to you all those years ago?

Your turn.