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Caption contest!

Monday, Jun 2, 2014

* Ormsby

Governor Pat Quinn yesterday appointed a new communications director.

Quinn on Sunday announced that Grant Klinzman will immediately assume the role of Acting Communications Director for the Governor’s Office.

Klinzman has been serving as Deputy Communications Director. The Governor’s chief spokesman and Communications Director, Brooke Anderson, is leaving the Governor’s Office to join the Quinn for Illinois campaign.

* From Grant’s Facebook page

He almost looks like he’s being renditioned by the CIA.

Have fun and let’s welcome him the right way.

- Posted by Rich Miller        


105 Comments
  1. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:38 am:

    “Alan? Where’s Doug? Why do we have a Tiger in the bathroom?”


  2. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:39 am:

    “As deputy communications director, I had the night shift during this ‘Day and Night’ Quinn Adminstration. Guess I need to shave, maybe shower too…”


  3. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:40 am:

    “Alright, alright, alright…”


  4. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:42 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - this waking up before 3pm is for the birds. Need to find 24 Breakfast place #YourBlinkingTooLoudPleaseStop


  5. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:43 am:

    Fauxhawks, the most real thing in the Quinn administration


  6. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:44 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I am this cool. @FakeJasonPlummer, stop trying to follow my Twitter. #Fonzie


  7. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:46 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - all I have to do is LOOK at an iPhone and it plays music #21stCenturyFonzie


  8. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:48 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - thanks for tweeting me. My biggest attributes are modesty and a lack of vanity. #Klinzoccio


  9. - Bored Chairman - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:49 am:

    Grant: It’s 155 days until Election Day, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.
    Pat: Hit it.


  10. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:50 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - last night watched Top Gun for the 1,362nd time. Heading to Miramar now #MaverickRocks


  11. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:50 am:

    “Just got done mowin the Guv’s yard. #Swag”


  12. - Wensicia - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    Cool…the Road Warrior.


  13. - OneMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    Since the impersonating George Micheal in the 80s wasn’t working out anymore….


  14. - MrJM (@MisterJayEm) - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    “I’ve made a huge mistake…”

    – MrJM


  15. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - being the new spokesman, I know it’s not about me. However, I do wear the heck out of these Aviators! #GettingMyGoodSide


  16. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:54 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Bangkok! #StuAlanTeddyDoug


  17. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:54 am:

    ” Am also willing to consider doing commercial endorsements for Rayban and Schick razors.”


  18. - Jorge - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:55 am:

    “You drive. You drive. I think there’s something wrong with me.”


  19. - Anon. - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:55 am:

    Hunter S. Thompson gets hair impants and enters the federal witness protection program.


  20. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    “Silver wings upon their chest; these are men, America’s best…”


  21. - A guy... - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    Dandelions are flowers…next question.
    We’re gonna remodel the mansion to 2 floors…next.
    They have a built in telestrator…next.
    I live in the basement. The razor blades are upstairs…next.
    Plans? What do you mean, for the weekend?…next.
    Policy Smolicy. That ain’t how we roll here…No more questions, Ciao!


  22. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    “OK. Yeah, I was kind of hoping to end up working for someone a little cooler than PQ. But you know, times are tough and employment opportunities are scarce.”


  23. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    “Betsy has got to go. I’m thinking maybe a nice Italian leather shoulder bag for Pat…..”


  24. - Bluefish - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    That’s the “after” picture. You don’t want to see the “before” one.


  25. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    Pat Quinn: where have you been working the last few years?

    Klinzman: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

    Pat Quinn: A looper?

    Klinzman: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

    Pat Quinn: well I guess you’re hired…


  26. - 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:06 am:

    A communications director actually posted this on his own Facebook page? Really? And Quinn thinks he is qualified to ……..?
    Obviously people are not being put in to positions in the Quinn administration based on performance and ability. This is proof.


  27. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:15 am:

    “Razors? Razors? We don’t need no stinking razors!”


  28. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:15 am:

    PQ: “Now, the most important thing is, we have to work as a team, which means: you do everything I tell you.”

    MG(Klinzman): “Cool Line”


  29. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:16 am:

    “How do you like my aviator glasses? They used to belong to Andre the Giant.”


  30. - BentheDem - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:17 am:

    I didn’t think Leonidas got hungover.

    Gov. Quinn:

    “Early to bed,
    Early to rise,
    Work like hell,
    AND THIS IS SPARTA!”


  31. - Anon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:18 am:

    Starring in “American Hustle II, Electric Boogaloo”


  32. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:18 am:

    “I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, are Raunerbots. In order to conquer the Raunerbots, I have to learn to think like a Raunerbot. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve gotta get inside Rauberbot hiding places, and crawl around for a few days.”


  33. - unclesam - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:19 am:

    “I’m a driven individual.” “No, seriously, I’m being driven because I have no idea where I left my car last night.”


  34. - Big Joe - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:19 am:

    So now we know what Simon is doing now that American Idol is not on his agenda any more.


  35. - x ace - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:23 am:

    ” A good Hit Man has no conscience at all”


  36. - Nohopeforillinois - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:24 am:

    I’ve got an easy eight-month gig!


  37. - Grandson of Man - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:24 am:

    “I was getting ready to play Harry Aleman in a mob biopic until Governor Quinn got me this gig.”


  38. - slider - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:26 am:

    Do these make my head look small?


  39. - LizPhairTax - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:28 am:

    Swipe Left


  40. - Toure's Latte - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:28 am:

    “What the hell? I’ve been promoted? I need a drink.”


  41. - veritas - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:31 am:

    The medium is the message.


  42. - Mittuns - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:36 am:

    YOLO - You Only Legislate Once


  43. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:42 am:

    You will find the aspirin in the medicine cabinet behind the unused contained of shaving cream.


  44. - Turtle - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:44 am:

    All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.


  45. - Arthur Andersen - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:45 am:

    “The future’s so bright, I have to wear shades.”


  46. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:47 am:

    Somewhere… a Reno, Nevada Casino/Diner is missing its Robin Thicke impersonator.


  47. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:49 am:

    “Governor Pat Quinn’s Communication Director; one week”


  48. - Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:51 am:

    OW, that Caddy Shack reference is still making me laugh. Had to go look up the video: http://youtu.be/h7Fxav9U46k?t=1m7s


  49. - Mittuns - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:51 am:

    What do Acting Communications Directors and selfie-takers have in common?

    No shame.


  50. - A guy... - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:54 am:

    8 months of this is as long as I can go dude. The waves in Lake Springfield suck. Can’t hang 1 let alone 10.


  51. - Norseman - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:56 am:

    Wouldn’t you try to disguise yourself if you worked for Quinn?


  52. - Jorge - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:57 am:

    What? No we can’t stop here. This is bat country!


  53. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:59 am:

    Glad you liked that. That picture lends itself to a Carl Spackler reference or two.


  54. - So. ILL - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:06 am:

    The state budget isn’t the only thing in need of a shave and a haircut.


  55. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:08 am:

    Bill Murray revisited one of the two Illinoia golf courses that provided some inspiration for his brother Brian Doyle Murray’s “Caddyshack” script last summer — the public course Canal Shores in Evanston/Wilmette where Murray once worked (Indian Hill Country Club was another such place where the Murray brothers also worked). Ground hogs used to live in the canal banks behind the snack bar where Bill Murray ran the concession. Harold Ramis once mentioned that he first met Bill when he was selling hot dogs at the refreshment stand in Wilmette in an interview about the making of the movie. One other Ramis comment was that it pained him to see how poorly several of the actors played golf. Ramis said that only Michael O’Keefe had a good swing.

    Joel Murray is holding a celebrity golf outing fundraising event at Canal Shores during August.

    Consider the scene in which Danny Noonan dreads working in the lumberyard. Bill Murray’s father was a lumber salesman.


  56. - Ginhouse Tommy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:21 am:

    He looks like Russell Crowe doing a selfie.


  57. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:22 am:

    Does this selfie make me look like I’m trying too hard?


  58. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:24 am:

    “It says, “acting”, and that’s what I do.”


  59. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:26 am:

    Disheveled chic for a disheveled administration.


  60. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:27 am:

    Its all about cool - not competence.


  61. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:31 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Say Hello to my little Selfie#TonyMontoya


  62. - 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:31 am:

    I guess it’s time to shave off the playoff beard.

    Too soon?


  63. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:32 am:

    @Ginhouse Tommy:

    I was thinking Russell Crowe or Colin Farrell wannabe.


  64. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:39 am:

    ===Too soon?===

    (Sniffle)…(softly)…yes…


  65. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:41 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - this is me trying not to be cool. #CantBeUnCoolKids


  66. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:48 am:

    - URF -,

    That screenplay is epic. Lots of Ad Lib, but true to the visions of Ramis and the Murrays. Ramis and Murray had a terrible falling out, but it was being repaired before Ramis’ death. Good backstory there, thanks for adding your Caddyshack tidbits too.

    Bill can still “play”, think he won the Pebble Beach Pro-Am once.

    “Caption?”

    There is business, business casual, and ” look, quit sleeping on my couch, eating my food, and get a job already”. Guess which is Grant Klinzman…


  67. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:50 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - that end of session party was a little more subdued this year. Finally woke up, now getting coffee. Happy Monday #LostSaturdayAndSunday


  68. - Ron Burgundy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:51 am:

    Pictured: The first man on the planet to ever call Rich Miller “Broseph” to his face.


  69. - Go Hawks! - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:52 am:

    Punk!


  70. - Bring Back Boone's - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:52 am:

    Good luck and god’s speed


  71. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:58 am:

    @Oswego Willy:

    I was amazed to learn that Billy Murray worked only six days on his portion of “Caddyshack.” Harold Ramis was big on allowing for improvisation and Murray was on such a roll that Ramis kept the cameras running when he was out front. It wound up changing the storyline as Murray and Chevy Chase got more screen time and the caddies became extras. The scene with Murray and Chase had to be especially created because it was not in the original script.

    I have seen Joel Murray play golf and he is a scratch player.

    What Harold Ramis said is true about some of the golf swings in the movie: there are a lot of cuts where the actual golf shots would have been grounded or sliced.


  72. - Archiesmom - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:26 pm:

    My soundtrack is George Thorogood and the Destroyers’ “Bad to the Bone.”


  73. - Newsclown - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:42 pm:

    “I live my life a one sound bite at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their b$# For those ten seconds or less, I’m FREE.”


  74. - I B Strapped - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:53 pm:

    Oh I’m a communications specialist alright! I usually start with a scalpel, but maybe you’d prefer the waterboard tutorial? They don’t call me ‘Jose Rodriguez’ for ‘nuttin, mi amigo!


  75. - Black Ivy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:19 pm:

    “Governor Quinn can rely on me for anything in this new role. My judgment is impeccable…except for this ridiculous photo that I posted on Facebook for the world to see. Trust me, Governor Quinn can trust me.”


  76. - D.P.Gumby - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:19 pm:

    Hawks lost…time to lose the beard!


  77. - 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:29 pm:

    “We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.”


  78. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:35 pm:

    - 47th Ward -, ever see “Where the Buffalo Roam” with Bill Murray (a themed caption comparison)?

    Saw it again recently, and thinking about this picture and Murray as Thompson, good stuff there…

    To that, and for all the Hunter S. Thompson references;

    “Caption?”

    “In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it’s worked.”


  79. - Soccermom - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 2:24 pm:

    Oh, 47th — you are so awesome.


  80. - Jake From Elwood - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 2:59 pm:

    I thought Breaking Bad had ended and AMC sent all the extras home…


  81. - DuPage Dave - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:14 pm:

    Wasn’t he on That 70’s Show?


  82. - LisleMike - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:53 pm:

    Hey dude! It’s protection. Once Pat loses the race, I can shave and remove the shades and no one will recognize me. My words then: “Huh? Pat who?” “Never, heard of him. Know where a clean cut guy can get a job?”


  83. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:56 pm:

    “What’s that? Sonny Crockett never wore V-necks? #$&%X# !”


  84. - Jimmy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 5:19 pm:

    Where the $%#& are my large sunglasses?


  85. - Chicago Cynic - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 6:45 pm:

    You mean Brooke won’t keeping doing both roles? Well glad she moved to the right one for her. Good luck Grant.


  86. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:20 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I told, like, the Governor, I still need 4/20 off with this new gig #HoldItCoughHoldIt #Whooaat


  87. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:22 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - whadda think, v-neck working? #NeckBeard #FozzyBear


  88. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:24 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I paid $150. to look this imperfectly de shelved. #Refund?


  89. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:28 pm:

    Man, Grant missed a great opportunity to come on this thread and play with us a little today and have some fun. Very surprised he didn’t.


  90. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:30 pm:

    Dear Governor Quinn, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in the Precincts to get you re-elected. But we think you’re crazy to make us do a Press Release telling everyone who we think you are. The Press sees your Communications Crew as they want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case …a princess…and a criminal…

    Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Manny’s Deli Club.


  91. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:44 pm:

    Don’t You, Forget About “Grant”

    Won’t you come see about me?
    I won’t be alone, talking you know it baby

    I’ll tell you Quinn’s troubles and doubts
    Giving you everything inside and out and
    It’s strange so real in the dark
    Think of the tender things that Quinn’s been working on

    Slow change may pull “I” “L” apart
    When the light gets into your heart, baby

    Don’t You Forget About Grant
    Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
    Don’t You Forget About Grant

    Will you stand to hear “Grant”?
    Look my way, never love me
    “Qs” keeps falling, questions falling
    Down, down, down

    Will you recognise “Grant”?
    Call my name or walk on by
    “Qs” keeps falling, questions falling
    Down, down, down, down

    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Ohhhh…..

    Don’t you try to pretend
    It’s my feeling Quinn wins in the end
    I won’t harm Bruce or touch his pretendness
    “Vanity and security”

    Don’t you forget about “Grant”
    I won’t be alone, talking you know it baby
    Going to take Bruce apart
    I’ll put Quinn back together at heart, baby

    Don’t You Forget About Grant
    Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
    Don’t You Forget About Grant

    As you walk on by
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?
    As you walk on by
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?
    When you walk away

    Or will you walk away?
    Will you walk on by?
    Come on - call “Grant’s” name
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?

    I say:
    La la la…


  92. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:47 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - getting ready to audition for Peter Jackson. Psyched! #HairyHobbit


  93. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:51 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - got the Comm. Dir. gig. Yes! Last day at Abercrombie and Fitch #YepMaleModel #RetailProblems


  94. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:53 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - with this new gig, I can afford to turn the water on, for good this time! Stop, “shower time”! #FakeShadowRealDirt


  95. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:55 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I can’t believe they had to ask the rental car manager if I was ok to rent this car too? #VanityProblems #MyLookRocks


  96. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:57 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Sometimes, my selfies are so cool, even I can’t look at them because of the awesomeness captured #TruthHurts #EyeProtectionMandatory


  97. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:00 pm:

    “Just throw the carton of smokes in the brown bag with the Ever-clear…”


  98. - GoBearsss - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:01 pm:

    Two words:

    Ball-er


  99. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:12 pm:

    “What? This IS me being formal. It’s the V-Neck without the stains…”


  100. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:15 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - thought I would dress up for the Trib Editorial Board. #DressingForYourAudience

    100 Comments, but one sweet selfie!

    May all your Cannoli be delicious. Good Luck!


  101. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 6:53 am:

    Shades of my selfie.


  102. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 6:57 am:

    Eyes are windows to soul. Makes sense gov. press sec. would wear dark shades.


  103. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:06 am:

    Shady communications aren’t transparent.

    Dark sunglasses are perfect for a one-way communications director.

    His lips said, no. But his eyes said, read my lips.


  104. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:10 am:

    Does this contest ever get judged?
    Are the results shown anywhere?
    Suggestion to some; how about a little selfie control, please!


  105. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:14 am:

    Director leaves.
    Deputy director promoted.
    Now THAT’S a hangover!


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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* Morning Spin: Rauner fights with union over $10.....


* 1 held after shot fired at Chicago police; no injuries
* EXCHANGE: Retired Mendota detective now helps kids
* Energy Department grants to fund Illinois CO2 projects
* Suburban tobacco store manager sentenced in tax case
* Group offers reward to fight dog fighting in DuPage County
* Illinois firearm deer harvest down 8.5 percent this year
* Chicago officer convicted of perjury, 2 officers acquitted
* Doctor: candy that sickened students contained marijuana
* Purported Chicago gang leader to jurors: Gang never existed
* Illinois Gov. Rauner signs bill sparing 2 nuclear plants

* Springfield-area veterans join pipeline protest
* Rauner asks Democrats for budget proposal, cancels meeting
* Comptroller: State employee bonuses on hold during impasse
* Rauner signs Exelon subsidy to spare 2 nuclear plants
* Rauner to sign Exelon subsidy to spare 2 nuclear plants
* Judge blocks administration from imposing contract on AFSCME
* State budget still elusive as leaders lash out
* Illinois budget still elusive as leaders lash out
* Killer of former central Illinois man sentenced to probation
* Prosecutors: Don't move Aaron Schock trial out of Springfield

* Michael Jordan wins trademark case in China
* Online consigner Swap.com nabs $20 million
* So you want to be a 40 Under 40
* Twins in Chicago's tech sector—separately
* Lothian hands CEO title to newsletter editor


* Obama guidance, press schedule Dec. 8, 2016. Congressional Ball
* Man shot in chest in Little Village
* No Red Line trains on South Side due to medical emergency
* S.E. Cupp: Donald Trump’s America, and the rise of anarchy
* An Elf, Beasts, among 50 top-selling books Dec. 1-8, 2016
* Man, 65, stabbed in West Loop
* ‘Miss Sloane’: For a big juicy treat, let’s all go the lobbyist
* Read Options: Can Leonard Floyd be defensive rookie of the year?
* Man charged with Edgewater armed robbery
* Lifetime buck, 12-point from McDonough County: Buck of the Week


* Lincoln Park mansion for sale at record $50 million asking price
* Emerson, Lake and Palmer founder Greg Lake dies at 69
* Morning Spin: Rauner fights with union over $1,000 bonuses
* The 'faithless few': All the times electoral college members voted their own way
* Skilling: Coldest in 10 months, but colder yet next week after snow
* Why is the Bears question about Vic Fangio's exit and not John Fox's?
* Dog, man die after it alerted couple to fire in Southwest Side home
* Indiana man says he was stabbed by Klan leader in N.C. over internet comments feud
* Trump's Boeing blast may mute CEOs
* Meet the new White Sox guys: Prospects acquired in the Adam Eaton trade


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* Bernard Schoenburg: Bustos gets leadership post, criticizes Rauner
* Our View: Lawmakers should withdraw their lawsuit over paychecks
* George Will: The sensitivity police strike again
* Eugene Robinson: The proliferation of fake news presents real perils
* Guest Column: The Trump Administration faces extremism/terrorism
* Springfield-area veterans join pipeline protest
* Rauner asks Democrats for budget proposal, cancels meeting
* Comptroller: State employee bonuses on hold during impasse
* Rauner signs Exelon subsidy to spare 2 nuclear plants
* Rauner to sign Exelon subsidy to spare 2 nuclear plants


* Man sentenced to three years in prison for theft in Jackson County court
* Anonymous donor to match the money received in red kettles Saturday
* Clinton to interview 5 for administrator job
* Entertainment listings, Dec. 8-14, 2016
* Moon walking: Allerton's night hikes gaining popularity
* Club listings, Dec. 8-15, 2016
* Notes-Worthy: Rod and Zac Sickler
* Pulling rank
* Left is sinking UI's reputation
* MTD trustees approve 25% tax-levy increase


* The Latest: Speaker's office says time is up on energy bill
* Thousands expected for Our Lady of Guadalupe celebration in Des Plaines
* Oklahoma's Westbrook takes small-town skills to big stage
* Adolf Burger, inmate forced by Nazis to forge money, dies
* Rollback of truck safety rules may be just the beginning

* House lawmakers overcome hurdle on key tra...
* Rodney Davis talks funding with Bloomingto...
* The agency that fought Illiana gets a new ...
* Rep. Dold takes educational cruise down Ch...
* Lawmakers decry high turnover rate of VA h...
* CBD Oil, and politics
* Simon considering state Senate bid
* Killer Congressman Tom MacArthur trying to...
* Shutdown? State may not notice
* Rep. Bob Dold

* Retiring Reid Reminisces on Merry Reagan D......
* Durbin, Gutierrez Launch New 'Chicago is W......
* Sen. Durbin Wants Tough Questions For Trum......

* Sen. Mark Kirk Praised During Senate Floor......

* 2018 Illinois governor's bid could be "Race of the Billionaires"
* Trump will nominate WWE co-founder to "go to the mat" for small businesses
* Chicago’s “entrenched interests.”
* Girl, 13, Missing From Uptown Hospital
* How times change; Rahm now our ally in upcoming political fight w/ Trump
* Santa Sleighed
* Roller Skate With Santa At Margate Park
* Illinois Bible Colleges Head to Court of Appeals
* Thorner: Grassroots pushback essential for Trump to appoint pro-life nominee
* IL GOP jabs possible Dem gubernatorial nominee, three more lawmakers


* Governor’s Export Awards Recipients Announced
* Governor Signs Legislation to Protect Jobs, Ratepayers and Taxpayers
* Give The Gift Of A Lifetime With A College Illinois!® 529 Prepaid Tuition Plan - College Illinois! can help limit or even eliminate future student loan debt
* Illinois Department of Veterans’ Affairs Hosts 75th Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day Ceremony
* IDHR Issues Reminder of Fair Housing Rights During Holiday Season - State law prohibits targeted, discriminatory restrictions on decorations and celebrations




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