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Caption contest!

Monday, Jun 2, 2014

* Ormsby

Governor Pat Quinn yesterday appointed a new communications director.

Quinn on Sunday announced that Grant Klinzman will immediately assume the role of Acting Communications Director for the Governor’s Office.

Klinzman has been serving as Deputy Communications Director. The Governor’s chief spokesman and Communications Director, Brooke Anderson, is leaving the Governor’s Office to join the Quinn for Illinois campaign.

* From Grant’s Facebook page

He almost looks like he’s being renditioned by the CIA.

Have fun and let’s welcome him the right way.

- Posted by Rich Miller        


105 Comments
  1. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:38 am:

    “Alan? Where’s Doug? Why do we have a Tiger in the bathroom?”


  2. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:39 am:

    “As deputy communications director, I had the night shift during this ‘Day and Night’ Quinn Adminstration. Guess I need to shave, maybe shower too…”


  3. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:40 am:

    “Alright, alright, alright…”


  4. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:42 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - this waking up before 3pm is for the birds. Need to find 24 Breakfast place #YourBlinkingTooLoudPleaseStop


  5. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:43 am:

    Fauxhawks, the most real thing in the Quinn administration


  6. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:44 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I am this cool. @FakeJasonPlummer, stop trying to follow my Twitter. #Fonzie


  7. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:46 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - all I have to do is LOOK at an iPhone and it plays music #21stCenturyFonzie


  8. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:48 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - thanks for tweeting me. My biggest attributes are modesty and a lack of vanity. #Klinzoccio


  9. - Bored Chairman - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:49 am:

    Grant: It’s 155 days until Election Day, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark… and we’re wearing sunglasses.
    Pat: Hit it.


  10. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:50 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - last night watched Top Gun for the 1,362nd time. Heading to Miramar now #MaverickRocks


  11. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:50 am:

    “Just got done mowin the Guv’s yard. #Swag”


  12. - Wensicia - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    Cool…the Road Warrior.


  13. - OneMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    Since the impersonating George Micheal in the 80s wasn’t working out anymore….


  14. - MrJM (@MisterJayEm) - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    “I’ve made a huge mistake…”

    – MrJM


  15. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:51 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - being the new spokesman, I know it’s not about me. However, I do wear the heck out of these Aviators! #GettingMyGoodSide


  16. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:54 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Bangkok! #StuAlanTeddyDoug


  17. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:54 am:

    ” Am also willing to consider doing commercial endorsements for Rayban and Schick razors.”


  18. - Jorge - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:55 am:

    “You drive. You drive. I think there’s something wrong with me.”


  19. - Anon. - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:55 am:

    Hunter S. Thompson gets hair impants and enters the federal witness protection program.


  20. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    “Silver wings upon their chest; these are men, America’s best…”


  21. - A guy... - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    Dandelions are flowers…next question.
    We’re gonna remodel the mansion to 2 floors…next.
    They have a built in telestrator…next.
    I live in the basement. The razor blades are upstairs…next.
    Plans? What do you mean, for the weekend?…next.
    Policy Smolicy. That ain’t how we roll here…No more questions, Ciao!


  22. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:59 am:

    “OK. Yeah, I was kind of hoping to end up working for someone a little cooler than PQ. But you know, times are tough and employment opportunities are scarce.”


  23. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    “Betsy has got to go. I’m thinking maybe a nice Italian leather shoulder bag for Pat…..”


  24. - Bluefish - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    That’s the “after” picture. You don’t want to see the “before” one.


  25. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:04 am:

    Pat Quinn: where have you been working the last few years?

    Klinzman: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and I make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas.

    Pat Quinn: A looper?

    Klinzman: A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

    Pat Quinn: well I guess you’re hired…


  26. - 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:06 am:

    A communications director actually posted this on his own Facebook page? Really? And Quinn thinks he is qualified to ……..?
    Obviously people are not being put in to positions in the Quinn administration based on performance and ability. This is proof.


  27. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:15 am:

    “Razors? Razors? We don’t need no stinking razors!”


  28. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:15 am:

    PQ: “Now, the most important thing is, we have to work as a team, which means: you do everything I tell you.”

    MG(Klinzman): “Cool Line”


  29. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:16 am:

    “How do you like my aviator glasses? They used to belong to Andre the Giant.”


  30. - BentheDem - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:17 am:

    I didn’t think Leonidas got hungover.

    Gov. Quinn:

    “Early to bed,
    Early to rise,
    Work like hell,
    AND THIS IS SPARTA!”


  31. - Anon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:18 am:

    Starring in “American Hustle II, Electric Boogaloo”


  32. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:18 am:

    “I have to laugh, because I’ve outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, are Raunerbots. In order to conquer the Raunerbots, I have to learn to think like a Raunerbot. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve gotta get inside Rauberbot hiding places, and crawl around for a few days.”


  33. - unclesam - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:19 am:

    “I’m a driven individual.” “No, seriously, I’m being driven because I have no idea where I left my car last night.”


  34. - Big Joe - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:19 am:

    So now we know what Simon is doing now that American Idol is not on his agenda any more.


  35. - x ace - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:23 am:

    ” A good Hit Man has no conscience at all”


  36. - Nohopeforillinois - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:24 am:

    I’ve got an easy eight-month gig!


  37. - Grandson of Man - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:24 am:

    “I was getting ready to play Harry Aleman in a mob biopic until Governor Quinn got me this gig.”


  38. - slider - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:26 am:

    Do these make my head look small?


  39. - LizPhairTax - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:28 am:

    Swipe Left


  40. - Toure's Latte - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:28 am:

    “What the hell? I’ve been promoted? I need a drink.”


  41. - veritas - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:31 am:

    The medium is the message.


  42. - Mittuns - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:36 am:

    YOLO - You Only Legislate Once


  43. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:42 am:

    You will find the aspirin in the medicine cabinet behind the unused contained of shaving cream.


  44. - Turtle - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:44 am:

    All right meow. Hand over your license and registration.


  45. - Arthur Andersen - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:45 am:

    “The future’s so bright, I have to wear shades.”


  46. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:47 am:

    Somewhere… a Reno, Nevada Casino/Diner is missing its Robin Thicke impersonator.


  47. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:49 am:

    “Governor Pat Quinn’s Communication Director; one week”


  48. - Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:51 am:

    OW, that Caddy Shack reference is still making me laugh. Had to go look up the video: http://youtu.be/h7Fxav9U46k?t=1m7s


  49. - Mittuns - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:51 am:

    What do Acting Communications Directors and selfie-takers have in common?

    No shame.


  50. - A guy... - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:54 am:

    8 months of this is as long as I can go dude. The waves in Lake Springfield suck. Can’t hang 1 let alone 10.


  51. - Norseman - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:56 am:

    Wouldn’t you try to disguise yourself if you worked for Quinn?


  52. - Jorge - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:57 am:

    What? No we can’t stop here. This is bat country!


  53. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 10:59 am:

    Glad you liked that. That picture lends itself to a Carl Spackler reference or two.


  54. - So. ILL - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:06 am:

    The state budget isn’t the only thing in need of a shave and a haircut.


  55. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:08 am:

    Bill Murray revisited one of the two Illinoia golf courses that provided some inspiration for his brother Brian Doyle Murray’s “Caddyshack” script last summer — the public course Canal Shores in Evanston/Wilmette where Murray once worked (Indian Hill Country Club was another such place where the Murray brothers also worked). Ground hogs used to live in the canal banks behind the snack bar where Bill Murray ran the concession. Harold Ramis once mentioned that he first met Bill when he was selling hot dogs at the refreshment stand in Wilmette in an interview about the making of the movie. One other Ramis comment was that it pained him to see how poorly several of the actors played golf. Ramis said that only Michael O’Keefe had a good swing.

    Joel Murray is holding a celebrity golf outing fundraising event at Canal Shores during August.

    Consider the scene in which Danny Noonan dreads working in the lumberyard. Bill Murray’s father was a lumber salesman.


  56. - Ginhouse Tommy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:21 am:

    He looks like Russell Crowe doing a selfie.


  57. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:22 am:

    Does this selfie make me look like I’m trying too hard?


  58. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:24 am:

    “It says, “acting”, and that’s what I do.”


  59. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:26 am:

    Disheveled chic for a disheveled administration.


  60. - VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:27 am:

    Its all about cool - not competence.


  61. - Anonymous - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:31 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Say Hello to my little Selfie#TonyMontoya


  62. - 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:31 am:

    I guess it’s time to shave off the playoff beard.

    Too soon?


  63. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:32 am:

    @Ginhouse Tommy:

    I was thinking Russell Crowe or Colin Farrell wannabe.


  64. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:39 am:

    ===Too soon?===

    (Sniffle)…(softly)…yes…


  65. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:41 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - this is me trying not to be cool. #CantBeUnCoolKids


  66. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:48 am:

    - URF -,

    That screenplay is epic. Lots of Ad Lib, but true to the visions of Ramis and the Murrays. Ramis and Murray had a terrible falling out, but it was being repaired before Ramis’ death. Good backstory there, thanks for adding your Caddyshack tidbits too.

    Bill can still “play”, think he won the Pebble Beach Pro-Am once.

    “Caption?”

    There is business, business casual, and ” look, quit sleeping on my couch, eating my food, and get a job already”. Guess which is Grant Klinzman…


  67. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:50 am:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - that end of session party was a little more subdued this year. Finally woke up, now getting coffee. Happy Monday #LostSaturdayAndSunday


  68. - Ron Burgundy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:51 am:

    Pictured: The first man on the planet to ever call Rich Miller “Broseph” to his face.


  69. - Go Hawks! - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:52 am:

    Punk!


  70. - Bring Back Boone's - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:52 am:

    Good luck and god’s speed


  71. - Upon Further Review - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 11:58 am:

    @Oswego Willy:

    I was amazed to learn that Billy Murray worked only six days on his portion of “Caddyshack.” Harold Ramis was big on allowing for improvisation and Murray was on such a roll that Ramis kept the cameras running when he was out front. It wound up changing the storyline as Murray and Chevy Chase got more screen time and the caddies became extras. The scene with Murray and Chase had to be especially created because it was not in the original script.

    I have seen Joel Murray play golf and he is a scratch player.

    What Harold Ramis said is true about some of the golf swings in the movie: there are a lot of cuts where the actual golf shots would have been grounded or sliced.


  72. - Archiesmom - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:26 pm:

    My soundtrack is George Thorogood and the Destroyers’ “Bad to the Bone.”


  73. - Newsclown - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:42 pm:

    “I live my life a one sound bite at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their b$# For those ten seconds or less, I’m FREE.”


  74. - I B Strapped - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 12:53 pm:

    Oh I’m a communications specialist alright! I usually start with a scalpel, but maybe you’d prefer the waterboard tutorial? They don’t call me ‘Jose Rodriguez’ for ‘nuttin, mi amigo!


  75. - Black Ivy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:19 pm:

    “Governor Quinn can rely on me for anything in this new role. My judgment is impeccable…except for this ridiculous photo that I posted on Facebook for the world to see. Trust me, Governor Quinn can trust me.”


  76. - D.P.Gumby - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:19 pm:

    Hawks lost…time to lose the beard!


  77. - 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:29 pm:

    “We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.”


  78. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 1:35 pm:

    - 47th Ward -, ever see “Where the Buffalo Roam” with Bill Murray (a themed caption comparison)?

    Saw it again recently, and thinking about this picture and Murray as Thompson, good stuff there…

    To that, and for all the Hunter S. Thompson references;

    “Caption?”

    “In my case, you know, I hate to advocate drugs or liquor, violence, insanity to anyone. But in my case it’s worked.”


  79. - Soccermom - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 2:24 pm:

    Oh, 47th — you are so awesome.


  80. - Jake From Elwood - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 2:59 pm:

    I thought Breaking Bad had ended and AMC sent all the extras home…


  81. - DuPage Dave - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:14 pm:

    Wasn’t he on That 70’s Show?


  82. - LisleMike - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:53 pm:

    Hey dude! It’s protection. Once Pat loses the race, I can shave and remove the shades and no one will recognize me. My words then: “Huh? Pat who?” “Never, heard of him. Know where a clean cut guy can get a job?”


  83. - Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 3:56 pm:

    “What’s that? Sonny Crockett never wore V-necks? #$&%X# !”


  84. - Jimmy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 5:19 pm:

    Where the $%#& are my large sunglasses?


  85. - Chicago Cynic - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 6:45 pm:

    You mean Brooke won’t keeping doing both roles? Well glad she moved to the right one for her. Good luck Grant.


  86. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:20 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I told, like, the Governor, I still need 4/20 off with this new gig #HoldItCoughHoldIt #Whooaat


  87. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:22 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - whadda think, v-neck working? #NeckBeard #FozzyBear


  88. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:24 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I paid $150. to look this imperfectly de shelved. #Refund?


  89. - Responsa - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:28 pm:

    Man, Grant missed a great opportunity to come on this thread and play with us a little today and have some fun. Very surprised he didn’t.


  90. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:30 pm:

    Dear Governor Quinn, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in the Precincts to get you re-elected. But we think you’re crazy to make us do a Press Release telling everyone who we think you are. The Press sees your Communications Crew as they want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain…and an athlete…and a basket case …a princess…and a criminal…

    Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Manny’s Deli Club.


  91. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:44 pm:

    Don’t You, Forget About “Grant”

    Won’t you come see about me?
    I won’t be alone, talking you know it baby

    I’ll tell you Quinn’s troubles and doubts
    Giving you everything inside and out and
    It’s strange so real in the dark
    Think of the tender things that Quinn’s been working on

    Slow change may pull “I” “L” apart
    When the light gets into your heart, baby

    Don’t You Forget About Grant
    Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
    Don’t You Forget About Grant

    Will you stand to hear “Grant”?
    Look my way, never love me
    “Qs” keeps falling, questions falling
    Down, down, down

    Will you recognise “Grant”?
    Call my name or walk on by
    “Qs” keeps falling, questions falling
    Down, down, down, down

    Hey, hey, hey, hey
    Ohhhh…..

    Don’t you try to pretend
    It’s my feeling Quinn wins in the end
    I won’t harm Bruce or touch his pretendness
    “Vanity and security”

    Don’t you forget about “Grant”
    I won’t be alone, talking you know it baby
    Going to take Bruce apart
    I’ll put Quinn back together at heart, baby

    Don’t You Forget About Grant
    Don’t Don’t Don’t Don’t
    Don’t You Forget About Grant

    As you walk on by
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?
    As you walk on by
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?
    When you walk away

    Or will you walk away?
    Will you walk on by?
    Come on - call “Grant’s” name
    Will you call “Grant’s” name?

    I say:
    La la la…


  92. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:47 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - getting ready to audition for Peter Jackson. Psyched! #HairyHobbit


  93. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:51 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - got the Comm. Dir. gig. Yes! Last day at Abercrombie and Fitch #YepMaleModel #RetailProblems


  94. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:53 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - with this new gig, I can afford to turn the water on, for good this time! Stop, “shower time”! #FakeShadowRealDirt


  95. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:55 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - I can’t believe they had to ask the rental car manager if I was ok to rent this car too? #VanityProblems #MyLookRocks


  96. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 8:57 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - Sometimes, my selfies are so cool, even I can’t look at them because of the awesomeness captured #TruthHurts #EyeProtectionMandatory


  97. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:00 pm:

    “Just throw the carton of smokes in the brown bag with the Ever-clear…”


  98. - GoBearsss - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:01 pm:

    Two words:

    Ball-er


  99. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:12 pm:

    “What? This IS me being formal. It’s the V-Neck without the stains…”


  100. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 2, 14 @ 9:15 pm:

    @FakeGrantKlinzman - thought I would dress up for the Trib Editorial Board. #DressingForYourAudience

    100 Comments, but one sweet selfie!

    May all your Cannoli be delicious. Good Luck!


  101. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 6:53 am:

    Shades of my selfie.


  102. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 6:57 am:

    Eyes are windows to soul. Makes sense gov. press sec. would wear dark shades.


  103. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:06 am:

    Shady communications aren’t transparent.

    Dark sunglasses are perfect for a one-way communications director.

    His lips said, no. But his eyes said, read my lips.


  104. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:10 am:

    Does this contest ever get judged?
    Are the results shown anywhere?
    Suggestion to some; how about a little selfie control, please!


  105. - Chuck.Tatum - Tuesday, Jun 10, 14 @ 7:14 am:

    Director leaves.
    Deputy director promoted.
    Now THAT’S a hangover!


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        * Nursing home trial focuses on confusing sale..
        * NIU’s Stevens Building renovation, rebuild begins..
        * Equality Illinois PAC endorses Gov. Quinn's re-.....
        * Rauner talks crime, pivots from nursing home trial..
        * Rauner, Vallas trade jabs over bankruptcy case..


        * Vet charged with cruelty after dead animals found
        * Attorney accused of falsifying asylum requests
        * Treasurer hopefuls look to boost office's image
        * State hearing focuses on nuclear, renewable energy
        * Inmate escapes from Vandalia, Illinois prison
        * A look at Democratic treasurer candidate Frerichs
        * Mom's appeal seeks to revive Chicago lawsuit
        * Trial of alleged ringleader of 2 murders begins
        * A look at GOP candidate for treasurer Tom Cross
        * Springfield children's hospital official arrested

        * Chicago mayor wants state to reform drug laws
        * Former state health official charged in scheme
        * Governor candidates differ over ‘common sense’ on guns
        * Quinn, Rauner differ over ‘common sense’ on guns
        * Rauner gets support from black Chicago pastors
        * Don’t bet on gaming expansion — yet
        * GOP's Rauner gets another $1M from hedge fund CEO
        * Former Illinois prisoners get help reintegrating
        * Court: Lincoln inmate must use $20K settlement to pay incarceration costs
        * Deadline ahead for Illinois marijuana businesses

        * This on-demand dietitian aims to stop your 4 a.m. fridge binge
        * A quick look at the candidates for Illinois Treasurer
        * Illinois Treasurer Dan Rutherford looms over battle to replace him
        * United Continental settles immigration-bias claim
        * House GOP moves to repeal Quinn's new insurance tax


        * $250K bail for man charged with kidnapping in hostage standoff
        * Judge to hear recording of alleged mastermind of grisly Joliet murders
        * Defendant in Joliet double-murder waives right to jury trial
        * Convicted rapist charged in 2004 murder, rape on South Side
        * Go easier on petty drug offenders
        * Trial begins for latest defendant in Joliet double-murder
        * Trial begins for latest defendant to stand trial in Joliet double-murder
        * Opening statements expected Tuesday for latest defendant to stand trial in Joliet double-murder
        * Harvey to vote on having Cook County sheriff audit its police department
        * 1 killed, 10 wounded in shootings Monday


        * Suburban attorney indicted for falsifying asylum requests
        * Cops: "Smash and grabs" at high-end stores may be linked
        * Two plead guilty to extorting businessmen in bid to collect debts
        * Rauner talks crime, pivots from nursing home trial
        * Chicago church gives flock $500 each to spend for good
        * Texas man guilty of sexually assaulting young relative in Kane County
        * 1 person transferred to burn unit after Elmhurst restaurant fire
        * Former Cicero candidate gets 2-day suspension from job with attorney general
        * Chicago man held on $250K bail after hostage situation in semi-truck
        * Investigators, dogs, search for Chicago man who escaped Vandalia prison


        * Chicago Mayor: Lower Penalties For Drugs
        * After the march, what's next for climate change?
        * Tim Landis: Bike Lanes, Medical Marijuana And Meat
        * Group Wants More Information For Voters When Selecting Judges
        * A Redo On Redistricting
        * Polls Showing Illinois Governor's Race A Draw
        * Cupich to be next Chicago archbishop
        * Listen to State Week - September 19, 2014
        * Chris Mooney: More Evidence-Based Policymaking Needed
        * African Drumming At Southwind Park On Saturday


        * Chicago mayor wants state to reform drug laws
        * Former state health official charged in scheme
        * Governor candidates differ over ‘common sense’ on guns
        * Kathleen Parker: Mark Sanford’s ongoing saga with himself
        * Rauner gets support from black Chicago pastors
        * Don’t bet on gaming expansion — yet
        * Thomas Schneider and Jay Scott: Building strong families to curb child abuse, neglect
        * GOP's Rauner gets another $1M from hedge fund CEO
        * Former Illinois prisoners get help reintegrating
        * Court: Lincoln inmate must use $20K settlement to pay incarceration costs


        * 'We can do this': Mayor rallies support to keep St. Elizabeth's in Belleville
        * Music festival to support cancer awareness
        * 50 people rally to keep St. Elizabeth's in Belleville
        * Players sought for checker tournament
        * Sha Na Na's 'Bowzer' stumps for Enyart in Belleville
        * 09-23-14 On The Money
        * 09-23-14 Penny for Your Thoughts
        * SportsTalk 9-23-14
        * City Square project nearing construction phase
        * Longtime agency head sets retirement


        * Wheaton teams in a tough spot
        * Charges filed in missing student case
        * Imrem: Good time for Bears to make a point against Packers
        * Bears' defense tough when it matters most
        * Woman crashes car into Elk Grove Village Wendy's

        * Ray Nagin, William Jefferson profiled on M...
        * Patrick Cannon defense strategy rare but n...
        * Feds fine Jesse Jackson Jr.'s campaign com...
        * Ex-Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. faces sen...
        * Ray Nagin, William Jefferson profiled on M...
        * Patrick Cannon defense strategy rare but n...
        * Feds fine Jesse Jackson Jr.'s campaign com...
        * Ex-Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. faces sen...
        * Ask Peter: Obamacare's Broken Promises - I...
        * Hultgren, Roskam to Host Service Academy D...

        * Sen. Durbin Tells High Court Fed Got Swipe......
        * Sen. Durbin Tells High Court Fed Got Swipe......
        * Sen. Durbin Tells High Court Fed Got Swipe......
        * Sen. Durbin Tells High Court Fed Got Swipe......
        * Sen. Durbin Tells High Court Fed Got Swipe......

        * Democrat Giannoulias backs Republican Cros......

        * Blacks, Baseball and the Civil War
        * Karen Lewis, president of the CTU, talks about her possible mayoral bid Monday night on the Southwest Side
        * A Closer Look At The 8th Congressional District Race
        * Karen Lewis, president of the CTU, speaks at a public forum Monday night on the Southwest Side
        * Callis Pushes Back Against Residency Rumors
        * Education Activists Chain Themselves Together At City Hall Protest
        * Coalition To Revitalize Dyett High School Stages Sit-In At City Hall
        * Worker Advocates Fearful Of Rauner's 'Anti-Labor' Agenda
        * Emanuel, National Group Launch Youth Anti-Tobacco Video Contest
        * Rauner 'Mislead Public' On Nursing Home Chain Involvement, Social Agenda


        * The Economic Empowerment Forum Endorses Rauner for Governor
        * State Director on Aging Says September Observances Stress the Importance of Healthy Aging - September is Healthy Aging Month; September 23 is Falls Prevention Day
        * Governor Quinn Breaks Ground on First Veterans Home in Chicago - New Facility Will Care for 200 of the Nation’s Heroes
        * Quinn still refusing to fire 20 political cronies
        * Illinois Chamber of Commerce Endorses Rauner for Governor




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