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Question of the day
Wednesday, Aug 17, 2011 - Posted by Rich Miller * Since it’s Governor’s Day at the Illinois State Fair, how about we do a caption contest of our top elected guy?…  Best commenter gets a beverage of his or her choice at a State Fair beer tent.
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- Hotel Ibiza - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:27 am:
These words are way to big for me. LMAO
- One of Three Puppets - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:27 am:
Speaker, I swear it’s in here. The Governor runs the state, not the Speaker. I just can’t seem to find that in my blue book. Did you change it and I signed it?
- Stones - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:28 am:
I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am
That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!
Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
Would you like them
here or there?
I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
green eggs and ham.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
Would you like them
in a house?
Would you like them
with a mouse?
I do not like them
in a house.
I do not like them
with a mouse.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you eat them
in a box?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat them here or there.
I would not eat them anywhere.
I would not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Eat them! Eat them!
Here they are.
I would not,
could not,
in a car.
You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
in a tree!
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I do not like them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like gren eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you,
on a train?
Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
i will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I do not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not,
in the dark.
Would you, could you,
in the rain?
I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!
You do not like
green eggs and ham?
I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.
Could you, would you
with a goat?
I would not,
could not,
with a goat!
Would you, could you,
on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not eat them in the rain.
I will not eat them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them in a box.
I do not like them with a fox.
I will not eat them in a house.
I do not like them with a mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE
I do not like
green eggs
and ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat.
And I would eat them with a goat…
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!
I do so like
green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!
- Michelle Flaherty - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:29 am:
I will not eat them on a boat
I will not eat them with a goat
I will not eat them here or there
I will not eat them anywhere
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam I am
- Hotel Ibiza - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:29 am:
Oh one more…
Quinns “Christmas Card List”
- Michelle Flaherty - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:30 am:
Guess I should have hit “say it” faster.
- Realist - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:32 am:
It says right here in the book I had written for me that I am never wrong. Ever.
- Kerfuffle - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:35 am:
The questionss in this Rules of the Road book are really hard. Glad I’m not the Secretary of State.
- Homer J. Simpson - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:37 am:
My Boy Scout Handbook says right here, “Be Prepared.” But how was I supposed to prepare for AFSCME protesting my day at the fair?
- Ahoy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:41 am:
During a press conference Quinn starts reading out of “An Idiot’s Guide to Being Governor.”
- Fed up - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:42 am:
Nothing in this book says I have to tell the voters the truth when I campaign.
- Norseman - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:47 am:
Darn, Ahoy took mine.
- Hank - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:49 am:
Listen up Rahm………. It’s right here in Section 3, Paragraph 14…”The govenor shall make the final decision on all gaming bills in the State Of Illinois, Mayors shall butt out”
- Don't Worry, Be Happy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:50 am:
I’m pleased to announce a $1 billion economic development package for a new Super 8 hotel to be built on the State Fairgrounds in Springfield. It will create 4 permanent jobs, and will provide a tremendous boost to the local tourism economy by providing visitors to the State Fair a low cost place to stay.
The new Super 8 hotel will get listed in this amazing directory they distribute. I’ve had my copy for 35 years, and It lists every single Super 8 hotel in the world. I take it with me everywhere, along with my Super 8 discount card.
Just think of how many people will see this listing and want to visit Springfield and the State Fair. I only stay at Super 8s. I stayed in a Super 8 in Israel last month, and I’m staying in one in China next month. This package is great deal for the citizens of Illinois! Have you seen my Super 8 discount card?
I’m also announcing a special session of the General Assembly to approve funding for this economic development initiative. Unfortunately the $1 billion for hotel construction was vetoed from the budget, and I’m calling on the legislative to act quickly to restore the funding before Super 8 takes their project and the jobs to Madison Wisconsin. I was in Wisconsin recently, but didn’t stay overnight, so I wasn’t able to stay at a Super 8 there. I hate passing up a chance to use my Super 8 discount card. If we build this project then every member of the legislature will be able to get there own Super 8 discount card and their Super 8 directory just like this one.
- Stones - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:50 am:
Michelle Flaherty….great minds think alike!
- Just Because - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:51 am:
Rules? What Rules,
- Joe from Joliet - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:57 am:
This Illinois State Fair competion premium book is chock full of examples of wasteful spending. Are you telling me that hard working Illinois taxpayers are asked to give $1,918 to someone who can grow a gladiola? And there is nothing in here for the state champion shamrock? I like gladiolas but I like shamrocks too and basic fairness demands that shamrock farmers have a equal opportunity to succeed in this great State we all call Illinois.
- Boone Logan Square - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:57 am:
Quinn: Today I’m going to grace you with a reading of one of the greatest novels ever written: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
Reporters: What the…
Quinn: Please. (Begins reading.)
“In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people of this world–”‘
Reporters: Governor!
Quinn: “But we’ve always been unusually communicative in a reserved way, and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that.”
Thank you very much.
“In consequence, I’m inclined to reserve all judgments, a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores.”
Reporters: GOVERNOR! What about the casino bill?
Quinn: No, no. No, no. Please keep it down.
We’ve got a long way to go. (Resumes reading.)
“They were the same people, or at least the same sort of people…”
- Joe - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:58 am:
Rahm, where in here does it say I am toast if I don’t sign the gaming bill?
- Nuance - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:02 pm:
Says right here in the Democratic holy book - “Thou shall not cut spending”.
- just sayin' - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:05 pm:
Please turn in your hymnals to page 147. We’ll be singing a little something from one of my favorites, a little band from Illinois they call Head East.
- Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:16 pm:
Pat Quinn and his dog eared copy of “Governing for Dummies.”
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:17 pm:
“No, Ma’am. I’m looking at the State Fair Livestock Judging Rules right here, and you cannot enter ME in the Swine Competition.”
- sal-says - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:19 pm:
No, really. I’ll figure this Governor thing out soon; I’m near the last chapter.
- Huh? - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:25 pm:
Damn, this isn’t the owner’s manual.
- Huchu - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:26 pm:
Tell me again what soy beans are!
- Tim - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:30 pm:
I swear I can not find any reference to a butter cow….
- Rudy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:38 pm:
Lou, where was that language that says “subject to appropriations”?
- Quinn T. Sential - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:43 pm:
At a stop off in Downers Grove on Wednesday on his way to Governor’s Day at the Fair, the Governor was asked to cite the provisions within state law which allows for forced annexation.
Despite recent protests, large swaths of unincorporated Downers Grove were swallowed-up by the village Tuesday night, after commissioners unanimously approved a large-scale forced annexation.
After the measure was approved, one man could be heard uttering the phrase “bite me” as he left the council chambers in disgust.
LOL
http://triblocal.com/downers-grove/2011/08/17/council-approves-forced-annexation-of-430-unincorporated-homes/
- Skeeter - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:45 pm:
You seem to be right. It does say I need to either sign it or veto. I can’t just leave it sit. But, but, but, I don’t want to have to take a position.
- reformer - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:47 pm:
“…in the Land of Lincoln where the will of the people is the law of the land.”
- Boondocks - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:48 pm:
In response to a question from a reporter, Governor Quinn pulls out the last remaining copy of “Illinois Government for Dummies” and explains that the chapters regarding balanced budgets and economic growth are missing. He blames Blago for tearing out the missing pages during a fit of rage after a budget .meeting with Speaker Madigan
- Ahoy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:51 pm:
Governor Quinn: “They have this new thing called books, evidently you just read them.”
- Sarbanharble - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:51 pm:
Uuuuuhhhh… Why am I here again?
- unclesam - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 12:52 pm:
PQ: “I can’t answer your questions today because they gave me the wrong purple tie. I don’t have the correct tie on, so stop asking.”
- The End Is Near - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:05 pm:
“This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man’s number. His number is 666.”
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:09 pm:
It says right here on page 73, and I quote “J-O-B”
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:15 pm:
The exact moment when Pat Quinn realized that Rod’s ‘Governor’ was not intended to be a governing guide.
- anon sequitor - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:17 pm:
Somebody please ask Sheila to take her band practice to another room. And yes, tell her I’ll definitely be there tonight for her performance.
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:17 pm:
It turns out Governor Quinn found the Magna guide to gaming no more helpful.
- Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:21 pm:
“It says here if I can make soup if I dip this tie I keep drooling on in hot water.”
- Champaign - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:27 pm:
Quinn checks the urban slang dictionary for “soy boy”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:35 pm:
I am not recommending this Aaron Jaffe biography for my book club.
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:37 pm:
“Mike swore to me this is the “Governor’s Rights and Responsibilities Manuel”. What do you mean it’s really a preschool student’s classroom rule book?”
- The Truth - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:47 pm:
Jack Lavin told me to stand up here and look dumb reading this book while he sells the State of Illinois down the river. … Don’t forget to swallow Ryan.
- Cincinnatus - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 1:51 pm:
While immersed in “The Prince” Quinn spots a kitty.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:00 pm:
Gentlemen, I am amendatorily vetoing the gambling bill to insert a provision to convert the Elgin Mental Health Center into the William J. Le Petomane memorial casino. This bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.
- A Citizen - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:08 pm:
Here we are at the wonderful Illinois State Fair gathered together to join this Steer and this Filly in Holy Matrimony . . . . .
- annon - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:10 pm:
Let me read you a quote for my favorite collection of poems: “The Land of Fairy’s and Elves”…..
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:22 pm:
As soon as I get home, I’m going to take that gambling bill out of my refrigerator and study it. There was room in my refrigerator because . . . .
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:28 pm:
CAN I GET A HELL YEAH.! And that’s the bottom line cause Stone Cold said so!’
- Louis G. Atsaves - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:35 pm:
I’d rather read this than deal with the budget!
- Waco Kid - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:38 pm:
Pat Quinn responds to a reporter’s question about all of the mindless rambling in his new book.
- Bring Back Boone's - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:38 pm:
I’m so glad I stuck a sticky note in here. Otherwise I would have forgotten to say “Land of Lincoln” at the end of each paragraph.
- Curious - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:43 pm:
I can’t believe I paid Amazon a penny for this!
- jt - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:50 pm:
it’s a flip flop for dummies handbook
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:52 pm:
When asked what he was doing Governor Quinn replied…
Reading , reading a book an mighty book that contains important knowledge, knowledge about what makes the world great, it contains both the printed word as well as pictures, fine pictures, color pictures, of kitties…
Look there is a kitty right now….
Wait where was I, oh yeah it uses soy inks from this fine and mighty state, soy inks from soy, raised by farmers here in Illinois some whom may be here at this fine event showing cattle, sheep, pigs, chickens, bears, sloths and kitties.
Look another picture of a kitty…
- Judgment Day - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 2:56 pm:
“You mean I’m not supposed to eat the pages? What about the covers?”
“It says right here on Page 77….”Rahm needs to do his homework on casinos…”
“Not to worry. I’m just passing through. But since you are all here, I’d be more than happy to stop and say a few words…”
- 10th Indy - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:03 pm:
“Frequently quoting from his dog-eared copy of the best-seller, Governor Quinn explained why he was on Team Edward”
- North of I-80 - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:17 pm:
It says here gambling is bad. Casinos must be bad.
- WazUp - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:21 pm:
In his remarks to the general assembly Governor Quinn compares Illinois businesses to a book he’s read called ‘The Puppy Who Lost It’s Way’. In response Speaker Madigan states “Governor, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
- BIG R. Ph - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:27 pm:
here is my dog-eared copy of the book “The Governor” by Rod Blagojevich. It tells me in here exactly what I am supposed to do.
- TaterPatch - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:27 pm:
Governor Quinn reads from his favorite ‘Choose Your Adventure’ novel: “The Power (Capitol) Dome”.
- Cal Skinner - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:48 pm:
This is the Rule Book that Rep. Doug Kane (now living in Wisconsin and married to a Democratic Party State Senator) threw at Mike Madigan right before Taylor Pouncey and Jimmy Taylor carried him to safety off the podium at the end of the session.
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 3:50 pm:
Governor Quinn tells everyone about his new favorite book Interface
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interface_(novel)
Interface is a near-future thriller, set in 1996, in which a shadowy coalition bent on controlling the world economy attempts to manipulate a candidate for president (a governor of Illinois) of the United States through the use of a computer bio-chip implanted in his brain.
- Deep South - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:10 pm:
According to MY state fair book, every day is governor’s day.
- Prognosis Negative - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:11 pm:
Would someone show me the page in this playbook where I swoop in to make the big catch to win the game?
- Bigtwich - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:17 pm:
I’ve got the horse right here, his name is Paul Revere, and here’s a guy that says that if the weathers’ clear, can do…can do…this guy says the horse can do. If he says the horse can do…can do…can do.
- Anon - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:18 pm:
“Genesis…in the beginning…”
- MrJM - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:27 pm:
“Kelly says the Blue Book value of a state in this condition is thirty five-hundred dollars — and I’m not going to accept a penny less for this trade-in!”
– MrJM
- Andy K. - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:36 pm:
“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.” Settle down, now settle down. This is a long book, and we have a very long way to go. “Whenever you feel like criticizing any one,” he told me, “just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had…”
- aufjunk - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:41 pm:
Why is everybody asking what Rod’s sentence is going to be? He’s already filled this book with them. Can’t those people read?
- Damfunny - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 4:44 pm:
“With God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly!”
- Fat Pitzgerald - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 5:26 pm:
“Paragraph 3, Harold Washington did not say I was the biggest mistake of his career.” Quoting from “Pat Quinn: My World; My Words.”
- railrat - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 5:56 pm:
OH this is the U.S. Constitution…. the 2nd Amendmant says “”"”"” OMG I’m wrong !!!!
- Mr. McDuty - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 6:26 pm:
Oh crap, this is Blagojevich playbook, not Edgar and Thompson’s, no wonder I can’t fix anything!
- Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 7:29 pm:
Cal Skinner should win something for “best historical reference” even if some of these other captions might be a bit cuter. Well done, even if the event took place before some of today’s posters were born.
- Pat Robertson - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 8:47 pm:
It says here the winner is Bubba Smith.
- Ouch! - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 9:21 pm:
What’s a Hobbit?
- Gallery Walker - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 9:29 pm:
So….THAT’S what the AFSCME Master
Agreement looks like. Darn, no pictures!!
- Bill - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 10:08 pm:
I am studying the afscme contract to how else I can mess with the union members
- Old Guard - Wednesday, Aug 17, 11 @ 11:00 pm:
Sorry, The Law says that we can’t give the Cubs and Chicago to France.
- Quinn - Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 6:28 am:
I am going to sit on that gaming bill long enough to have all the boat deposits tons of cash in my account - eventually, I’ll prove to everyone that I really am worthless - as the gaming bill will pass anyway - with or without me signing! Does Illinois need money? I was too busy trying to spend billions more.
- Quinn - Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 6:30 am:
I was reading the book - How a governor can turn Chicago into Detroit in only one term!
- Wilson Pickett - Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 7:46 am:
I am taking names and they are all going to be written in my little brown book. So you better watch what you say, Mike! I happen to be “The Boss”, not you. Not Cullerton and not Lisa, either. Period. End of story.
- Get real.. - Thursday, Aug 18, 11 @ 8:30 am:
According to Enron’s Guide to Retirement Funds, there is no reason we have to pay that money back. Unfortunately, it doesn’t say anything in here about avoiding jail time.