Gov. Quinn visited me recently, and all he wanted to do was look in my fridge. Now, in my fridge I has a foot long Hoagie, and I told Gov. Quinn I have food like that all the time in my fridge and his mouth watered…”
The pure joy of being able to use the phrases ‘The People of Illinois good a true’ as well as a being able to reference the mighty Mississippi several times in one speech case Quinn so much enlightenment he began to literally lick his chops.
- Joe from Joliet - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 10:07 am:
Gosh it’s hot out here. It’s making me pant! Must be global warming. Time to raise gas, coal, electricity taxes by 50% and give it to my campaigners and contributors. THEY can solve this horrible heat problem!
Nixon: “And now it is my pleasure to introduce a man who knows something about selling people bridges. He’s been selling bridges to Illinois voters for over a quarter century, and they keep right on buying them… Illinois Governor Pat Quinn!”
Quinn: “Ooh I caught a snowflake!” *spits* “That wasn’t a snowflake!”
Not shown- a separate news conference given by the Baron: ” This is just another example of career politicians, spending yours and MY money building useless bridges that I never use. Government union bosses likely bribed these career politicians into building this useless bridge to steal more of the taxpayer’s dollars to pad their overly generous pensions”
Tomorrow, all of the state newspaper’s editorial boards will pat the Barron on his back for bringing this waste of public money to their attention, and each paper will have the press conference as a front page story. The Baron’s press conference, that is….
OK, let’s see. I’m speaking next..bridge dedication, hmmm. The Veterans Memorial Bridge. Don’t know why they insisted on naming it after Musial too. He died last year, didn’t he? Stan the Man was a veteran. Should have just let us name it for veterans. We can’t do enough to help those brave men and women. How many veterans worked on this bridge? I’ll have to ask somebody about that. I wonder how many veterans will drive over the bridge. This bridge, the Stan Musial Veterans Memorial Bridge, goes over the Mississippi river, the longest river in North America. The Mighty Mississippi. Our rivers and lakes are our heritage, and we need to protect them and keep them clean. Rivers are a source of fresh water, our most precious resource. Illinois corn and soybeans travel to market on the river that runs under this bridge. Bridges connect people. This bridge connects people in Illinois to people in Missouri. Missouri is the Show Me state. I should have worn my White Sox hat. I wonder what Robin is going to do with Paulie, Dunn and this new guy. They can’t all play first base. Nixon is still talking? I wonder if he’s related to Richard Nixon. President Nixon once said, “I don’t know a lot about politics, but I do know a lot about baseball…” Yeah, that’s good. Use that.
PQ: Is this the best bridge to take to get to Fast Eddie’s from St. Louis? I’m really hungry.
- Upon Further Review - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 11:35 am:
Stan “the Man” Musial was a US Navy veteran. The Cardinals blamed his absence due to military service for the team finishing second to the Chicago Cubs in 1945. On the other hand, the Cardinals won three straight war-time pennants before Musial shipped out. The Cards won again in 1946. Cubs when? Cubs when?
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 11:43 am:
Governor Quinn prepares to take off his clothes and ride the wrecking ball!
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 11:48 am:
After the security detail pulled Gov. Quinn off of Gov. Nixon, Quinn explained that he had seen the lollypop stuck to the back of Nixon’s coat and he just couldn’t stop himself. “I just love green lolly pops, and Jay wasn’t going to eat it.” said Quinn.
- Pot calling kettle - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 11:50 am:
Gov. Quinn acknowledges local businessman Jason Plummer.
“Ok I know Governor Quinn is behind me sticking his tongue out, I also know he’s one can short of a six pack…can I get a witness!!”
- Just The Way It Is One - Tuesday, Feb 18, 14 @ 7:51 pm:
“Red Birds, Red Birds–yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah—Take THAT Jay–ha–I’m stickin’ my tongue out at you RIGHT NOW and YOU can’t SEE ME! Ha ha ha HA HA!!! White Sox rule–White Sox rule…Bridge or NO Bridge!!”