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Caption contest!

Monday, Aug 4, 2014

* From a press release…

BATH, IL — More than 7,000 invasive carp were removed from the Illinois River this past weekend and hundreds of people watched Asian carp cooking demonstrations during the 9th Annual Redneck Fishing Tournament.

“Every year I’m amazed at how many people turn out,” said Betty DeFord, who organizes the tournament. “More and more people are being made aware of the problems these fish create.”

Four, 2-hour fishing heats spread over Friday and Saturday netted 7,126 fish. The Sushi Slayer team from Washington, IL took first place with 531 Asian carp. Schafer Fisheries hauled away the fish to process into fertilizer.

Tournament proceeds will help homeless veterans through the Veterans Affairs hospital in Danville. More than $1,700 was raised through raffles. The Sushi Slayers and other top finishers donated their winnings to help the cause.

* The Senate Democrats’ communications director John Patterson was part of a team that caught over 300 flying carp. He’s posted a video of the experience

Man, that place was fragrant on Sunday. Whew. I met some cool people, though, and traveled there with an old friend who texted me this morning…

Thanks again for an epic unrepeatable weekend!

Ain’t that the truth. Still dragging today. Oscar is worn out too.

* On to the caption contest. Yes, it’s late in the day, but hopefully we’ll still get some solid entrees. I mean, how many times do we get to mess with Patterson? Here he is holding a giant flying carp that a member of his team netted right before it flew into somebody else’s face…

- Posted by Rich Miller        


77 Comments
  1. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:32 pm:

    “If your beef is this big, then you can carp about it…”


  2. - Bill White - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:34 pm:

    This year carp. Next year state legislators.


  3. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:34 pm:

    JP: “This really isn’t much different than my day job. Have someone else grab stinky, ugly ideas out of mid-air and then I foist them off on the rest of the public.”


  4. - Commander Norton - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:35 pm:

    “Hey, Rahm, here’s your Chicago pension reform…”


  5. - Anonymoiis - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:35 pm:

    “Next time my message doesn’t get across to you, you’ll wake up next to this. Capisce?”


  6. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:36 pm:

    “It means Mike Jacobs swims with the fishes.”


  7. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:36 pm:

    “My carp just are your Mushroom …”


  8. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:36 pm:

    It’s a Sicilian message. It means SB1 sleeps with the fishes.


  9. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:36 pm:

    “My carp just ate your Mushroom…”


  10. - Bill White - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:38 pm:

    I love the football helmet.


  11. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:38 pm:

    - 47th Ward -…

    You owe me a new shirt. Wow, well done.


  12. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:38 pm:

    “I never should’ve borrowed Mike Frerichs’ gloves.”


  13. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:39 pm:

    Oh, knock off the crap. Got it. That makes much more sense. Stupid auto correct.


  14. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:42 pm:

    “Fisherman not to scale…”


  15. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:42 pm:

    Hello, Rauner campaign? I’d like to make an in-kind contribution.


  16. - Dave Dahl - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:43 pm:

    These aren’t gloves!


  17. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:46 pm:

    What band geeks look like when they’re all grown up.


  18. - Commonsense in Illinois - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:47 pm:

    …nah, this is just the appetizer…wait until you see the main course!


  19. - Wensicia - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:49 pm:

    Carpnado 2! Patterson saves the day!


  20. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:50 pm:

    “Hail Mary…Full of grace…”

    (h/t to - 47th Ward -)


  21. - train111 - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:50 pm:

    Carpe diem!


  22. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:51 pm:

    Patterson was the kind of guy that rooted for bad guys in the movies.


  23. - VanillaMan - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:51 pm:

    After three days in its belly, they did The Lord’s bidding and went to Ninevah..


  24. - Demoralized - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:52 pm:

    Ok, who left this in the backseat of Cullerton’s car?


  25. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:53 pm:

    “Okay, pretend I’m a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?”


  26. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:54 pm:

    First came Squeezy, the Pension Python. Not to be outdone, the Senate Dems today unveiled Stinky, the Invasive Revenue Sucker.


  27. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:54 pm:

    “Where’s my ‘Madi- Knife’?”


  28. - Arthur Andersen - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:55 pm:

    “Whaddaya mean, it’s too big to wrap in a newspaper?”


  29. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:56 pm:

    47th is on fire today. lol


  30. - Michelle Flaherty - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:57 pm:

    Let’s just say you might want to skip the fish tacos in the Stratton this week.


  31. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:59 pm:

    An invasive, disgusting and smelly bottom-feeding menace. Also pictured: a large Asian carp.


  32. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:59 pm:

    “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he becomes Communications Director for the Senate Dems”


  33. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:59 pm:

    Flaherty that made me laugh - for a couple of reasons.


  34. - Commander Norton - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:00 pm:

    Rich is on fire today, too. You can’t win your own caption contest, man.


  35. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:00 pm:

    “Bait? I used Oberweis Ice Cream…”


  36. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:02 pm:

    47th is on the right track with that last one. Patterson sent me this pic with the hope that I’d use it for a caption contest.

    More brutality, please.

    Funny brutal, of course.


  37. - ChrisB - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:02 pm:

    We’re gonna need a bigger boat…


  38. - John Patterson - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:03 pm:

    - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 3:59 pm:
    An invasive, disgusting and smelly bottom-feeding menace. Also pictured: a large Asian carp.

    Hey, I don’t stink!


  39. - spliff - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:03 pm:

    Hey Steve
    Give this to you boss Mike. Let him know John Cullerton says his pension reforms sleep with the fishes.


  40. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:07 pm:

    Well I certainly hope you showered after that adventure. And burned those clothes before you got home. Yeesh.


  41. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:07 pm:

    “This is my YouTube video on ‘How to harvest carp eggs’. Remember to have your special gloves, you’ll see why in a minute. Step One, hold the carp as so…”


  42. - John Patterson - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:10 pm:

    47th, I lined the inside of my car with plastic sheating, ala Dexter. Windows down all the way back to Springfield.


  43. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:12 pm:

    Burn the car too.

    “Hey, anybody got a mailing address for Nick Ayers?”


  44. - Befuddled - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:13 pm:

    Is it me, or is that fish bigger than he is?


  45. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:19 pm:

    Senate Democratic Spokesman Fails Smell Test.

    Literally.


  46. - FormerParatrooper - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:20 pm:

    Just one ingredient in MCDonald’s secret sauce


  47. - Anonymous - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:22 pm:

    this carp is dead as term limits


  48. - Rich Miller - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:25 pm:

    The real reason Rikeesha left for the DGA.


  49. - A guy... - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:36 pm:

    Able to fill a back order from R. Emanuel. He already has a box and a pre-addressed label.


  50. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:36 pm:

    Senator Dillard, even though we’re from opposing sides, I just want to say all of us on staff are going to miss you around here and we chipped in and got you a little something to remember us by.

    Go ahead, open it.


  51. - Oswego Willy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:40 pm:

    “This should be just big enough to feed the SGOP Caucus…you’re welcome.”


  52. - A guy... - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:45 pm:

    And you were worried about getting enough responses?
    “You can’t tell they’re Asian Carp until they speak”.


  53. - A guy... - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:47 pm:

    Apparently they practiced Catch and Release with Darryl Hannah.


  54. - zatoichi - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:51 pm:

    These crappie sure get big around here.

    DNR starts a new slogan: ‘This carps for you’.


  55. - Siriusly - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:54 pm:

    This is way better than being Canoe Tzar !


  56. - Jake From Elwood - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 4:54 pm:

    So you say that this town’s name is Bath?
    Only in Illinois.


  57. - RNUG - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:20 pm:

    Yep, it’s Bath … and a couple of places there serve a mean fish dinner.


  58. - RNUG - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:21 pm:

    If only we could get pork projects to fly like this thing does …


  59. - RNUG - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:22 pm:

    Some more fertilizer for the truck garden at the Governor’s Mansion!


  60. - Siriusly - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:23 pm:

    The fastest growing part of the IL economy.


  61. - 47th Ward - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:25 pm:

    “Yes fish eaters, the days of troublesome scaling, cutting and gutting your fish are over. Because the new and improved Super Carp-O-Matic 14 is the tool that lets you use the whole carp with no fish waste. Here’s how it works…”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BQFv83QJ2Y


  62. - RNUG - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:26 pm:

    Patterson displays where House and Senate bills go to die …


  63. - Ginhouse Tommy - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 5:48 pm:

    Since this is Carpnado 2, I want to do a selfie with Tara Reid.


  64. - oz - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 6:22 pm:

    Never let a good Carp fish go to waste.


  65. - Amalia - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 6:31 pm:

    This weekend it was Fancy Farm and fancy fish!


  66. - Judgment Day - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 6:49 pm:

    Patterson holds up the newest entree to be offered at the Senate Democrat’s brand new food truck.


  67. - Soccertease - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 7:17 pm:

    Reminds me of Yogi Berra-ism “Dead meat in the water”


  68. - Downstate - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 7:19 pm:

    “You want a compromise? I got your compromise right here.”


  69. - Judgment Day - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 7:21 pm:

    The secret ingredient of John Patterson’s new highly nutritious 32 oz. Asian Carp Smoothies.


  70. - Arthur Andersen - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 7:36 pm:

    The only thing that smells worse than Rauner’s investment strategies.


  71. - Roadiepig - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 8:28 pm:

    Is this what the tea partiers mean when they complain about undocumented aliens?


  72. - Jak Tichenor - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 8:42 pm:

    Or as Homer Simpson would say: “UMMMMMMM. Unprocessed fish sticks!


  73. - DuPage Bard - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 8:48 pm:

    Madigan may be able to pull a rabbit out of a hat guess where I pulled this out of?


  74. - Under Further Review - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 9:41 pm:

    Some invaders are hostile! ICE and the Border Patrol could learn some lessons from these hardy defenders of the Illinois waterways.

    Kidding aside, apart from fish meal and fertilizer, do these carp have any commercial value?


  75. - zatoichi - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 9:59 pm:

    Carp: These creatures really smell bad. Then this one put gloves on. I got a bad feeling…..


  76. - Jo - Monday, Aug 4, 14 @ 11:39 pm:

    Ok I concede, Patterson is the bigger Redneck from Fulton County working for the Senate. Never thought I’d lose that one.


  77. - Angry Chicagoan - Tuesday, Aug 5, 14 @ 6:48 am:

    Rahmie — “who needs to sell public bonds for supplies from Staples when you can haul years’ worth of stationery that sends a real message right out of the river in less time than it takes the city council to approve a budget!”


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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* SUBSCRIBERS ONLY - Today's edition of Capitol Fax (use all CAPS in password)
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