* If you were writing a movie script about the 2014 Illinois campaign, what would it be called? Bonus points for naming actors who’d play the various roles.
Diddler on the Roof.
Jason Alexander as Pat Quinn. Donald Sutherland as Bruce Rauner. Gary Busse as Rich Miller. Paul Linde (nevermind we’ll dig him up) as W Slinger. Jim Carey as OW.
Jack Lemmon as Pat Quinn
Alec Baldwin as Bruce Rauner
Ed Harris as Paul Vallas
Alan Arkin as Evelyn Sanguinetti
Kevin Spacey as Mike Schrimpf
Al Pacino as Rahm Emanuel
“First place is a Cadillac. Second place is a set of steak knives. Third place is you’re fired.”
- Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:27 pm:
“Full Carhartt Jacket.” Starring Craig T. Nelson as Bruce Rauner. Jon Voight as Pat Quinn.
National Lampoon’s Illinois Politics
Pat Quinn - Brian Dennehy
Bruce Rauner - Woody Harrelson
Paul Vallas - Gene Hackman
Evelyn Sanguinetti - Tina Fey
Rahm Emmanuel - Al Pacino
Bob Fioretti - Steve Lawrence
Spear and Shield, a story of irresistible amounts of campaign money meeting immovable quantities of political savvy, starring Howie Mandel as Pat Quinn and Will Ferrell as Bruce Rauner.
Starring: Jack Nicholson as Rauner/McMurtay, who pretends to be a mental patient to gain admittance; Danny DeVito as Quinn/Martini, who remains delusional, Louise Fletcher as Brooke Anderson/Nurse Ratched, who passes notes and pills to keep candidates in line, Christopher Lloyd as Vallas/Redfield, a highly educated paranoid. I’m working on Sanguinetti.
I’d call it “Doom” but that title’s already taken. Perhaps “Illinois and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Election.”
From above I like James Cromwell for Rauner, John C. Reilly for Quinn, John Lithgow as Vallas, Sofia Vergara as Evelyn Sanguinetti (can she do pratfalls?), Carol Burnett as JBT, Jamie Lee Curtis as Sheila Simon, and Zach Galifinakis as Rich Miller.
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:12 pm:
“Toeing the Status Quo” - A Joint
Brian Baumgartner as Pat Quinn
The late James Rebhorn as Bruce Rauner
Lesser known Baldwin as Dan Rutherford
A broken record player as Kirk Dillard
Ice-T as Tio Hardiman
Ed Harris as Paul Vallis
Marlo Thomas as Evelyn Sanguinetti
Ted McGinley as Tom Cross
Arne Duncan as Mike Frerichs
My kid’s history teacher as Lisa Madigan
Dennis Quaid as Paul Schimpf
Billy Dee Williams as Jesse White
Any deer caught in the headlights as Mike Webster
Someone’s great aunt as Judy Baar Topinka
Someone’s part-time librarian as Sheila Simon
Produced by the dysfunctional two-party system.
Directed by Mike Madigan
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- Carl Nyberg - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:00 pm:
“Pensions & Payouts”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:01 pm:
lol…
Sam/Frank
- Ducky LaMoore - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:02 pm:
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Ed Gale as Jason Barickman
- Ducky LaMoore - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:02 pm:
Oh, and Stephen Root as Rich Miller
- Norseman - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:03 pm:
Mr. MaGoo versus Simon Lagree
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:03 pm:
“Student Government”
Starring
William Hurt as Rauner
Bill Zwecker as Quinn
Special cameo - Rich Miller
- Hank Z - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:04 pm:
Day After Election Day Vacation.
Chevy Chase as Pat Quinn
Randy Quaid as Mike Frerichs
Beverly D’Angelo as Shelia Simon
- AFSCME Steward - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:05 pm:
The Write-in Winner
Oswego Willy as himself
- Peoria guy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:08 pm:
Dumb and Dumber
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:10 pm:
“Props and Gags - The Joke’s on the Voters”
“The Leaky Mansion”
“And Now These Messages…”
“Another Along The Side of The Road”
“Base - Off Base, a Turnout Story”
“Who Do I Make The Check Out To?”
“Constitutionally Queasy ”
“We’re Not Wisconsin!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:12 pm:
===Oswego Willy as himself===
Who would believe it…Hmmm…
“Who Would Believe it”
…
- Bogey Golfer - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:12 pm:
@Hank Z
Add JBT as the mother-in-law.
- anonymous - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:13 pm:
A remake- “There Will Be Blood”
Louis K as Pat Quinn
Richard Jenkins as Rauner (Dad from 6ft under)
With Daniel Day Lewis reviving his role as Lincoln but in ghost form
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:13 pm:
Bloodtober - The Final Reckoning
- Roadiepig - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:15 pm:
Peoria guy FTW!
- Enviro - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:15 pm:
Bridge Over Troubled Water
- A guy... - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:15 pm:
I’m insisting on royalties for inspiring this question!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:16 pm:
“Those Are The Choices?”
“ILL-In-I.L.L.”
“Who Do You Want Me To Be?”
“Hidden Nuggets”
“The Oppo Folder”
“For The Man Who Has Everything”
“Coming Back Home - A Union Story”
…
- Roadiepig - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:17 pm:
“Falling Down” with Rauner reprising Michael Douglas’ roll as a man who snaps , and chaos ensues…
- Come on man! - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:17 pm:
Mr. Blue Sky: The Legend of Pat Quinn
Pat Quinn: John C. Riley
Rauner: Will Farrell
Vallas: James Cromwell
Sanguinetti: Eva Longoria
- Six Degrees of Separation - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:17 pm:
“Up in Smoke”
Cheech Marin - Pat Quinn
Tommy Chong - Bruce Rauner
- A guy... - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:18 pm:
Diddler on the Roof.
Jason Alexander as Pat Quinn. Donald Sutherland as Bruce Rauner. Gary Busse as Rich Miller. Paul Linde (nevermind we’ll dig him up) as W Slinger. Jim Carey as OW.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:19 pm:
(Working on a Cast…)
“What Do The Women Think?”
“Outside Your Comfort Zone”
“Career Bosses & Union Politicians”
(That is my favorite!!)
…
- Steve - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:19 pm:
The Pirates of the Illinois: The Curse of the Pension Funds A Mike Madigan Original Production
Written, Produced, Directed and Legal work done by Mike Madigan.
Clint Eastwood as Mike Madigan
Tina Fey as Lisa Madigan
Brian Dennehy as Pat Quinn
No one will play Bruce Rauner do to his refusal to join SAG.
- Tim Snopes - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:19 pm:
“How a Billionaire Almost Bought an Election”
Pat Quinn - played by Jimmy Stewart
Bruce Rauner - played by Donald Trump
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:24 pm:
“Not As It Seems”
“Down Ballot”
“Second Bananas”
“Can’t & Won’t”
“Back and Forth”
“Can We Make That An Ad?”
“Sticking to the Wall”
…
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:26 pm:
Quinngarry Glen Rauner
Jack Lemmon as Pat Quinn
Alec Baldwin as Bruce Rauner
Ed Harris as Paul Vallas
Alan Arkin as Evelyn Sanguinetti
Kevin Spacey as Mike Schrimpf
Al Pacino as Rahm Emanuel
“First place is a Cadillac. Second place is a set of steak knives. Third place is you’re fired.”
- Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:27 pm:
“Full Carhartt Jacket.” Starring Craig T. Nelson as Bruce Rauner. Jon Voight as Pat Quinn.
- Stones - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:27 pm:
National Lampoon’s Illinois Politics
Pat Quinn - Brian Dennehy
Bruce Rauner - Woody Harrelson
Paul Vallas - Gene Hackman
Evelyn Sanguinetti - Tina Fey
Rahm Emmanuel - Al Pacino
Bob Fioretti - Steve Lawrence
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:28 pm:
“Lisa, Jesse, Judy & The Rest”
“Apple Sauce”
- AC - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:30 pm:
Spear and Shield, a story of irresistible amounts of campaign money meeting immovable quantities of political savvy, starring Howie Mandel as Pat Quinn and Will Ferrell as Bruce Rauner.
- Stuff Happens - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:31 pm:
Tommy Boy.
- IrishPirate - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:32 pm:
“Never Say Rauner Again”
Sean Connery as Pat Quinn.
Bill Murray as Paul Vallas.
Mitt Romney as Rauner.
- IrishPirate - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:37 pm:
In keeping with my “never” theme
“Never Call Retreat: The Pat Quinn Story”
George C Scott as Patt………I mean Pat Quinn.
- Master of the Obvious - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:38 pm:
It’s All Downhill From Here
Starring Phil Mahre as Joe Slade White
And Vitok Bogataj as Bruce Rauner
- Stuff Happens - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:39 pm:
Oops, premature click.
Tommy Boy:
James Cromwell as Rauner instead of Akroyd as Zalinsky.
Larry David as Pat Quinn (he’d have to eat a few burgers), instead of Chris Farley.
Bryan Cranston as Paul Vallas, instead of David Spade.
- Jocko - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:42 pm:
“The Bumbler” (NRI funds, IDOT patronage) vs. “The Tumbler” (changing campaign positions, falling polls)
- Angel's Sword - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:45 pm:
(Pension) Apocalypse Now
Staring Jonah Hill as Pat Quinn and Mads Mikkelsen as Bruce Rauner.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:45 pm:
“This Is My Story & I’m Sticking To It”
- AC - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
The Trashcan and The Explorer starring Jeremy Clarkson as Bruce Rauner and James May as Pat Quinn
- Jocko - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
Oops. Forgot to read the instructions
The Kings Speech (on the state’s fiscal health)
Colin Firth as Pat Quinn
Geoffrey Rush as Bruce Rauner
- Louis G Atsaves - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:46 pm:
One Flew Over The Springfield Nest
Starring: Jack Nicholson as Rauner/McMurtay, who pretends to be a mental patient to gain admittance; Danny DeVito as Quinn/Martini, who remains delusional, Louise Fletcher as Brooke Anderson/Nurse Ratched, who passes notes and pills to keep candidates in line, Christopher Lloyd as Vallas/Redfield, a highly educated paranoid. I’m working on Sanguinetti.
- Angel's Sword - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:49 pm:
Rebel Without A Candidate
Staring We Are One Illinois.
- Ron Burgundy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:50 pm:
I’d call it “Doom” but that title’s already taken. Perhaps “Illinois and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Election.”
From above I like James Cromwell for Rauner, John C. Reilly for Quinn, John Lithgow as Vallas, Sofia Vergara as Evelyn Sanguinetti (can she do pratfalls?), Carol Burnett as JBT, Jamie Lee Curtis as Sheila Simon, and Zach Galifinakis as Rich Miller.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:51 pm:
Cast
William Hurt - Rauner
Dabney Coleman - Quinn
Bryan Cranston - Vallas
Constance Marie - Sanguinetti
- lake county democrat - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:52 pm:
Mr. Smith Stays Away From Springfield.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:56 pm:
“The Learning Curve”
“The :30 Second Life”
“Oh Yeah! What About This?!”
“Herd The Lemmings”
“How Does It Poll?”
“This IS The Real ‘Me’…”
“3rd Choices, 3rd Chances, 1st Time”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 2:59 pm:
“Table Talk - The Tribune Endorsement”
- cover - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:03 pm:
= No one will play Bruce Rauner do [sic] to his refusal to join SAG =
Ding!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:05 pm:
“…And You Know What?”
“The Final Bell”
“If You Say It Enough…”
“The Only Poll That Counts”
“Pluses”
“Did You See Capitol Fax?”
…
- Jake From Elwood - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:12 pm:
“Toeing the Status Quo” - A Joint
Brian Baumgartner as Pat Quinn
The late James Rebhorn as Bruce Rauner
Lesser known Baldwin as Dan Rutherford
A broken record player as Kirk Dillard
Ice-T as Tio Hardiman
Ed Harris as Paul Vallis
Marlo Thomas as Evelyn Sanguinetti
Ted McGinley as Tom Cross
Arne Duncan as Mike Frerichs
My kid’s history teacher as Lisa Madigan
Dennis Quaid as Paul Schimpf
Billy Dee Williams as Jesse White
Any deer caught in the headlights as Mike Webster
Someone’s great aunt as Judy Baar Topinka
Someone’s part-time librarian as Sheila Simon
Produced by the dysfunctional two-party system.
Directed by Mike Madigan
- Empty Suit - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:14 pm:
Psycho - Oh sorry you said movie I thought you said reality show.
- Boone's is Back - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:23 pm:
Raunaway Jury
Also “Never Say Rauner Again” made me laugh out loud.
- Try-4-Truth - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:36 pm:
Rauner’s Millions
Ted Night as Bruce Rauner
Brian Dennehy as Quinn
- MrJM - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:46 pm:
“It’s a Ad, Ad, Ad, Ad World”
“Citizen Con” staring Orson Wells as Bruce Rauner
“Son of Flubber” staring Fred MacMurray as Pat Quinn
“A Fake in the Crowd” staring Andy Griffith as Bruce Rauner
“For a Few Million Dollars More” staring Klaus Kinski as Dan Proft
“Dr. Strangemath or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Pension Crisis” staring Peter Sellers as Mike Madigan
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly staring Clint Eastwood as Wordslinger, Lee Van Cleef as Oswego Willy and Eli Wallach as BANNED
- CD - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 3:58 pm:
“The Devil wears Carhart”
“Money can’t buy me love”
“Shaken not stirred”
- LaFlare1017 - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 4:06 pm:
—”Full Carhartt Jacket”—
Love it.
Maybe try Danny Devito as Quinn
- Try-4-Truth - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 4:08 pm:
“No Springfield for Old Rich Men”
- Casual observer - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 4:10 pm:
“Missed it by/that much”
Jim Carey as agent Smart (Rauner).
Sarah Palin as Agent 99 (sanguinetti). sp?
Ernest Borgnine as the Chief (Quinn)
- railrat - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 5:00 pm:
“Bootlick” staring Jim Sweeney
- Keyser Soze - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 5:03 pm:
“Homer Simpson Meets Mr. Burns”*
Now playing at a polling place near you
* As themselves
- Florida - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 6:13 pm:
Pq- gene Hackman
Br- James woods
- Under Further Review - Tuesday, Oct 14, 14 @ 7:39 pm:
“Everything Must Go” with Pat Quinn conducting the yard sale.
- local theme jack review - Tuesday, Oct 21, 14 @ 7:33 pm:
Wonderful items from you, man. I’ve have in mind your stuff previous to
and you are simply too magnificent. I really like what you’ve bought right here,
really like what you’re saying and the best way in which you are saying it.
You make it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to keep it smart.
I can’t wait to learn much more from you. This is actually
a tremendous website.