- And I Approved This Message - Thursday, Jan 29, 15 @ 4:04 pm:
Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner, R. Carhartt, and an unidentified aide, react to the shocking sight of the clouds parting and the ghostly apparitions of former Governors Pat Quinn, Rod Blagojevich and Henry Horner appear in the night sky.
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Bruce: No I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas! I–I had a flat tire! I didn’t have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!
“You’re not going to believe this, but Mary Todd Lincoln’s left eye is a security camera. What to freak out the guards? ‘Hey guards, I’m touching artifacts…with sticky fingers…ate cotton candy…You who?!?!?”
- Joe from Joliet - Thursday, Jan 29, 15 @ 4:18 pm:
Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
And we can dance
OW and Mittuns
I like your songs better. I was just going for the big hands reference, but I dig the “Safety Dance” and the South Pacific reference is pretty good. In fact, I’ll bet Roberta Lynch would like to “wash that man right out of her hair!”
- Under Further Review - Thursday, Jan 29, 15 @ 5:19 pm:
When I get indicted this will be my mug shot. Wait, are you kiddin me? They don’t indict for blissful ignorance? WOW, what a great buncha commoner’s. That’s one of the many reasons I love Illinois. Anybody wanna go ta sturgis wit (common speak) me?