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Caption contest!

Thursday, Feb 26, 2015

* From the Twitters…


- Posted by Rich Miller        

118 Comments
  1. - AC - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:17 am:

    Reformin’ my hair


  2. - Ex Suburban Mayor - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:18 am:

    Governor tell me about that service tax before I shave you


  3. - Wordslinger - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:18 am:

    “Just a trim — not like the haircut I gave those venitlator kids.”


  4. - ain't nothin' but a g thang - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:20 am:

    “Trimming’ and cuttin’. Those are two of my favorite words.”


  5. - 47th Ward - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:20 am:

    I think it looks good but Donna told me to keep cutting Governor.


  6. - I Wonder.... - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:21 am:

    “You are not a union shop are you?”


  7. - Stones - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:21 am:

    Don’t worry I’ll tip you the standard 13%


  8. - A guy - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:23 am:

    Thanks for squeezing me in before the inmates.


  9. - Jake From Elwood - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:23 am:

    Finally a cut that few will gripe about.


  10. - AC - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:23 am:

    Keep it short, I don’t want to give people another reason to compare me to Blago


  11. - A guy - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:23 am:

    Short…but not as short as yours.


  12. - Salty - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:25 am:

    See, even I get a haircut in the budget.


  13. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:26 am:

    Shavin’ up springfield!


  14. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:26 am:

    Don’t do any scalping, that’s my job.


  15. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:27 am:

    Rauner: Well, I’ll tell ya, you know, it’s touching. Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it’s funny and we laugh because it’s true. Now, some people, like me, will say - reformers, we say, ‘Take on the Bad Legislators!’ People are going to say about me?…’What does he think he is doing?’ Well, what I hope I’m doing, and here’s where the newspaper I own now have got to point out, is - I’m responding to the will of the people.

    Yes, there’s going to be shaking up here in Springfield, and it’s going to be done by me, and by people who work for me, because I’m going to stop business as usual.


  16. - AC - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:27 am:

    Rauner tells his barber, “I’m just a common man, drive a common van. My dog ain’t got a pedigree”


  17. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:27 am:

    See if you can find any ideas inside, OK?


  18. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:28 am:

    Do a good job and I have a shiny new dime for you!


  19. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:28 am:

    Bet you’re not union.


  20. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:29 am:

    I have more hair inside my head than outside it.


  21. - Team Sleep - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:31 am:

    “Don’t get any hair on my shoes. One of my staffers picked them up at Wal-Mart last night and I’m still wearin’ ‘em in.”


  22. - Man with a plan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:31 am:

    Clippin’ up Sprin’field


  23. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:31 am:

    I plan to help your business out by relaxing those regulations fencing you in - what do you think of expanding into medical bleedings, leaches, simple surgeries and circumcisions?


  24. - MrGrassroots - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:32 am:

    Can I be so bold to ask you to address our Barbers Convention and speak about “Cutting your way to growth.”


  25. - Jorge - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:34 am:

    “You don’t have a kid on a ventilator do you? Cause if you do that cut is all Donna ’s fault. She just wants your little one to get a job and learn some personal responsibility is all.”


  26. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:35 am:

    Please keep my clippings. I’m weaving them into a nice shirt to go with my new sack-cloth undies.


  27. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:36 am:

    You have no idea how good you have it. You can do your job without electricity, you know, and still charge the same amount.


  28. - bIGTWICH - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:37 am:

    ‘This Shop Gives Every New Governor of Illinois a Free Shave’


  29. - John A Logan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:38 am:

    Rauner: “Have alot of state workers get their hair cut in here?”

    Barber: “It’s about 50% of my business. Lots of agency workers, state house maintenance folks.”

    Rauner: “Been saving your money?”

    Barber: “Why do you ask?”

    Rauner: “No reason.”


  30. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:38 am:

    So - how many kids with lice do you see daily?


  31. - William j Kelly - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:40 am:

    Excuse me govenor but I can see john Tillman in your right ear.


  32. - Mama - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:41 am:

    Please cut, cut, cut the right side but leave the left side in tact.


  33. - MrGrassroots - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:41 am:

    The usual Governor? Cut more off the left than the right.


  34. - MrGrassroots - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:45 am:

    By the way, Leslie Munger will send you a check as soon as we catch sometime in FY2018.


  35. - the Other Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:47 am:

    Shared sacrifice — even I’m getting a trim.


  36. - vole - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:50 am:

    Take the curry comb to it. My next stop is the Farm Bureau.


  37. - Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:55 am:

    “You say your wife is in AFSCME? On second thought, I don’t really need a shave today. Maybe next time.”


  38. - Reality Check - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:56 am:

    The only cut for millionaires in Bruce Rauner’s budget plan.


  39. - vole - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:56 am:

    Barber to Rauner: “Your ends are starting to show.”


  40. - Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:57 am:

    You know you’ve got money when you can afford to pay someone to take your selfies for you.


  41. - Joe M - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:58 am:

    Please don’t cut my hair like I cut the budget, or I’ll be more bald than you.


  42. - John A Logan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:59 am:

    Rauner: “How about those Vanguard Total International Bond Index Fund Investor Shares? What a move they made yesterday.”

    Barber: “Yeah, uh, that was really something.”

    Rauner: “I never have bought it because its a taxable bond. Kept most of my money in the Camens.”


  43. - Grandson of Man - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:01 am:

    “Pretend my neck hair is union fair share fees and shave it all off.”


  44. - SAP - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:01 am:

    Gimme those clippers. I’ll show you how to cut.


  45. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:02 am:

    “Could you loosen this cape a little? I’m singin’ soprano here.”


  46. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:03 am:

    Before I ask for a shave, you don’t have any kids with disabilities, do you?


  47. - Ducky LaMoore - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:05 am:

    @BruceRauner

    Found a great barber today in Springfield! Not that I’ll need one for much longer.


  48. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:05 am:

    “You wanta hit my eyebrows a little? Can’t be lookin’ like John L. Lewis, ya know.”


  49. - Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:07 am:

    “No need to actually cut anything, I have a full time stylist on the payroll. This is just for my Twitter followers who think I’m a regular guy.”


  50. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:07 am:

    “Hey, kid! Yeah, you in the camo jacket. How come you’re not out workin’ somewhere?”


  51. - Amalia - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:08 am:

    take a lot. from the bottom. the top deserves more.


  52. - truthteller - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:10 am:

    Do a good job. This is my only cut. Everyone else gets multiple chances. And make sure you cut all the g’s. I’ve got to maintain my image


  53. - Anon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:10 am:

    “If you want the big bucks you need to start workin in a prison. Those folks are makin money hand over fist.”


  54. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:10 am:

    Barber: “No, really. You’d look good in the Kojak cut.”

    Rauner: “No deal. The big cuts are only for the 99 percenters.”


  55. - Anonin' - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:10 am:

    “Hey did I tell you about my service tax plan? You will get nicked pretty good and now you will have to file a bunch of forms”
    BTW you don’t mind if I use my government flacks to push out some ‘everyman’ p.r. mush do you?


  56. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:14 am:

    Rauner: “How come you’ve got so many clippers over there?”

    Barber: “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask your consultant?”


  57. - Anon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:15 am:

    “Does this smock come in a different color?”


  58. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:16 am:

    Rauner: “Can you put some of that nice smelling stuff on afterwards? I’ve got a meeting with Madigan today.”

    Barber: “No problem. I’ve got some new stuff called Pepe LePew #9.”


  59. - Grandson of Man - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:18 am:

    “You cut real good. How’d you like to come work for me?”


  60. - walker - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:19 am:

    Still playing a campaign role, with photographer in tow.

    Barbershop ok, but no press at formal speaking events all week.

    Move on Bruce. We’re in a new phase. Get that kid [sorry] following you with the camera, some real work to do.


  61. - How Ironic - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:26 am:

    @ Wordslinger:

    “Just a trim — not like the haircut I gave those venitlator kids.”

    I LOL’d at this, each time I read it. Well played sir.


  62. - lil' enchililada - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:26 am:

    When I get done with the budget it’s gonna be as bald as the back of my head.


  63. - anon. - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:26 am:

    I bet Blago & Quinn never got haircuts in Springfield!


  64. - MrJM - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:27 am:

    Photo ops like this are fun, but one day the campaign silly season will be over and Rauner will need to show the people of Illinois that he knows how to gover…

    [checks calendar]

    Oh, never mind.

    – MrJM


  65. - Wordslinger - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:36 am:

    Stay tuned - next up, my annual DRE#thisisgonnahurt


  66. - zatoichi - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:39 am:

    You know Floyd, if Andy and Barney would walk in right now my dream would be complete.


  67. - NewWestSuburbanGOP'er - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:41 am:

    Rauner with eyes closed dreamin….

    Gosh, is that Evelyn I hear? Please don’t give her a pair of scissors. She just might slip and….oh no…………


  68. - crazybleedingheart - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:41 am:

    Recommendations from the people I talk to all day? Staffers? Legislators? Lobbyists? Springfield businessmen? Yelp?

    Nah, I did it my way.

    Better Call Hall’s. http://goo.gl/o9VGJi


  69. - siriusly - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:50 am:

    No I really mean it. Cut to the bone please.


  70. - walker - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:50 am:

    “You think I’m funny? Funny how?”


  71. - Dry Blanket - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:52 am:

    Governor Bruce Rauner amiably chats with a non-union hair stylist, models trendy Carhartt barber gown


  72. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 11:01 am:

    “Yep, just gettin’ my hair cut, jawin’, and havin’ a hundred thousand dollar a year communications feller doin’ my Tweeterin’ for me!”


  73. - NovMan - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 11:19 am:

    I’ll have what Scott Walker’s havin’.


  74. - Hendon's Red Suit - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 11:28 am:

    If this is the shop I think it is, I got my hair cut there the very first time I came to Springfield for a job interview. And no joke, the barber stopped mid-haircut to read from Revelations.

    Didn’t end up with a half-bad ‘do, though, so no complaints.


  75. - Jocko - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 11:38 am:

    BVR: “Just a little off the sides. I’m flying Armando in from Milan to give me a cut and color”


  76. - Gone, but not forgotten - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 11:40 am:

    Okay, maybe I’ll see you in April. I found out that every other month, the haircut is done on State time because that’s how much it grows on State time.


  77. - Mittuns - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:01 pm:

    Clippers for the hair, hatchet for the budget.


  78. - Angel's Sword - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:07 pm:

    “Before you bring that razor any closer… you’re not a member of a union, are you?”


  79. - Angel's Sword - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:13 pm:

    Oops, “I Wonder…” beat me to it!


  80. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:18 pm:

    “Pretty impressive operation here, own your own business, have a skill, contribute something of value to society. I could never do any of that, but I’m going to tell the boys back at the firm to look into the margins. I’m thinking we replace you with a recent grad on minimum wage, use our increased buying power to squeeze the suppliers, pocket the savings and bust the place out when the bad hair riots start. Boy I’m smart.”


  81. - Jorge - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:21 pm:

    Are those carpenter jeans my good man? Because a pair of those would look great with my Carharrt, Harley and primo wine for my reelection campaign.


  82. - Levois - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:25 pm:

    See my vehicle that WV, that’s my ride. Surprises you doesn’t it?


  83. - PublicServant - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:26 pm:

    Did I tell you I used to be a prison barber?


  84. - Wensicia - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:32 pm:

    “Nice cut! This qualifies you for a position on my Cabinet!”


  85. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:49 pm:

    Can you glue some on top?


  86. - Carhartt Representative - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:54 pm:

    Do a good job and I can get you in as a prison barber.


  87. - A guy - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 12:56 pm:

    What’s the story with the guy wearing the red boa?


  88. - grigs4one - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 1:14 pm:

    I don’t know much about budgeting but I know I would have rocked that cape. Madonna should be ashamed of herself. Fallin on stage….whatever! I know, right!


  89. - zatoichi - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 1:26 pm:

    Hey, at the next General Assembly speech, I could hit a James Brown cape routine as I get towards the end. Maybe Madigan will be Danny Ray. That’ll shake em up!


  90. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 1:28 pm:

    Have you ever thought of a trump combover ?


  91. - Elvis - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 2:01 pm:

    Please spare me. Enough of the make over B.S. Brucey. You can put lip stick on a pig but…..


  92. - Under Further Review - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 2:52 pm:

    Some say it is a waste of money cause Madigan is after my scalp!


  93. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:00 pm:

    You’re going to have to do more with less.


  94. - Jasper - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:06 pm:

    20% off the top and let’s sweep the cash drawer.


  95. - ROLLO TOMASI - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:06 pm:

    Did my Buddy Rahm use a booster seat when he came in here for a trim on his one and only trip to Springfield?


  96. - Jake From Elwood - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:12 pm:

    Ruse foiled: irrefutable proof that the Carhartt is covered in green.


  97. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:30 pm:

    Still guarding the plans keeping them undercover.


  98. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:32 pm:

    Every time I drop a g a hair falls out.


  99. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:40 pm:

    I’m thinking of buying up all the barber shops in Springfield, fire everyone but one barber at each place, pull out all of the profits through management fees, sell it off for an inflated amount and then tell everyone how I grew companies…hahaha


  100. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:53 pm:

    “All these mirrors make me feel like I’m in the palace at Versailles. I LIKE it!”


  101. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:53 pm:

    “Givin’ a speech in an hour. Gimme the ‘Richie Cunningham’…”

    100…


  102. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:57 pm:

    “You oughta come over to the Mansion some time. We could do some whittlin’, some chawin’, and some talkin’ about the bouquet of a Cabernet ‘57.”


  103. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 3:59 pm:

    Rauner: “You got a copy of the Police Gazette?”

    Barber: (Sheesh!)


  104. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:01 pm:

    “Gimme that ‘Guvernator’ cut like Arnold used to wear.”


  105. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:04 pm:

    Rauner: “So I said to the Koch brothers, ‘We could merge ‘em, bust out the pensions, liquidate, and come away with a cool hundred million.’ So how about you?”

    Barber: “I was thinking of selling combs on the side.”


  106. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:04 pm:

    Only your barber know’s for sure.


  107. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:07 pm:

    Rauner: “That’s a pretty long smock you’ve got on there. You into concealed carry?”

    Barber: “Rahm doesn’t rule down here, Guv’ner.”


  108. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:11 pm:

    Rauner: “Ya know, you could sweep up all the hair at the end of the day and sell it to a toupee factory. Gotta think outside the box when you’re shakin’ up Springfield, fella.”


  109. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:18 pm:

    Rauner: “So, I’m new in town. Can you recommend a good ‘Big & Tall’ shop?”

    Barber: “On the Square. Honest Abe’s House of Clothes.”


  110. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:20 pm:

    First human head transplant on a barber chair.


  111. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:21 pm:

    Rauner: “This is so cool. Ya know, I was just over to that supermarket-thingy, and they had the neatest scanner gizmo at the checkout place.”

    Barber: (Yeah, since 1982)


  112. - Dawn Clark Nebish - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 4:45 pm:

    Sweep up all these hairs, chop them up real fine, and give them to the Capitol Chef so they can be put in Madigan’s chicken salad


  113. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 5:33 pm:

    Last haircut till the budget is passed.


  114. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 5:37 pm:

    The first department that saves a billion gets to buzz cut my head


  115. - Anon - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 6:35 pm:

    “‘Nice work. That’s a 5% tip just for you. Don’t spend it all in one place.”


  116. - K3 - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:42 pm:

    Just wait until you see the haircut I give the poors!


  117. - Beans and Franks - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 9:47 pm:

    The tax man cometh.


  118. - Anonymous - Thursday, Feb 26, 15 @ 10:30 pm:

    Combing the executive branch with a fine tooth comb


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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