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Caption contest!

Thursday, Apr 30, 2015

* Gov. Rauner at the Citizens Club of Springfield earlier this week…

- Posted by Rich Miller        

113 Comments
  1. - Rich Miller - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:57 am:

    No violent imagery, folks.


  2. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:57 am:

    I’m only stretching the truth by this much.


  3. - AC - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:57 am:

    10 bills, it’s 10 bills now, and they’re all ready to go!


  4. - John A Logan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:57 am:

    Bruce Rauner gives the Masonic sign for distress


  5. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:58 am:

    “Gov. Christie, I didn’t turn on you, “you” turned on you…”


  6. - illinoised - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:58 am:

    I’m only a salesman, don’t ask me about details.


  7. - Bill White - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:59 am:

    Everybody chill, I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I got this.


  8. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 9:59 am:

    “All right, everyone stay calm, you sound like a bunch of Union teachers…”


  9. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:00 am:

    “Mr. Gorbachev. Tear down this wall!”

    (What do you mean that didn’t work on Madigan and Cullerton? It worked for Reagan! I try to do everything just like Scott Walker, and he’s always imitating Ronnie.)


  10. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:00 am:

    “I’ll take questions, I’ll take them… ‘Answer them?’ …. whoa, slow down, Speed Racer…”


  11. - Stones - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:02 am:

    Apologies Rich…no harm intended.

    Rauner demonstrating the budget Hokey-Pokey dance to the Citizen’s Club of Springfield.

    You put your right hand in
    You put your right hand out
    You put your right hand in
    and you Turnitallabout…


  12. - Stuff Happens - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:03 am:

    Hey now, enough with all of your ‘facts.’ I get the real news from people I trust.


  13. - Anon221 - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:03 am:

    “Ya gotta, ya know…just shake if off. Shake, shake, shake it off.”


  14. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:03 am:

    By proclamation and agreement with my good friend Mike Pence, Westville will now be located in Indiana. Now, anybody else want to turn around on my Turnaround Agenda?


  15. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:04 am:

    “No one told me I had to follow the law as it is written. I believe as governor I only follow what I believe is the law.”


  16. - 47th Ward - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:05 am:

    Sorry, new phone. That was me at 10:03.


  17. - Stuff Happens - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:05 am:

    ♭♫ “If you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it;
    If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!”


  18. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:07 am:

    “Once, when I was a kid, my dad told me I had to clean my room before he’d buy me a new jet ski. After that experience I threw my hands up and said that’s if, no more honest work for me.”


  19. - Finally Out (and now very glad to be) - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:08 am:

    All I ask is you trust me. Haven’t I always been completely truthful with you?


  20. - The Dude Abides - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:11 am:

    I won’t be taking any questions, I’ve already told you all you need to know.


  21. - walker - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:13 am:

    Don’t you understand that lower wages are good for you?


  22. - Jocko - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:14 am:

    Whoa! Slow down! What’s this math thing you keep bringing up?


  23. - zatoichi - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:15 am:

    My patience is about this long. Why?


  24. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:17 am:

    “If you know this how you livin’ put yo hands up!
    Put em up!
    Where they at?
    Put em up!……….ok, very funny, who’s been messin’ with my cue cards?”


  25. - Wordslinger - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:21 am:

    When U.S. Attorney James Lewis entered the room, Gov. Rauner displayed the mysterious involuntary reflex common to Illinois politicians.


  26. - Deep South - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:21 am:

    Whoa…just a minute there. Talk to the media? Really? Ahhh…I don’t think so.


  27. - Casual Observer - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:24 am:

    Rauner: so I was talkin with my bros in the hood and they were sayin like Hey Bruceski sometimes ya gotta raise the roof.


  28. - Empty Suit - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:25 am:

    “Jazz Hands”


  29. - OurMagician - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:26 am:

    “Show of hands, how many think I can balance the budget without raising any new revenue…..one, two….any more?”


  30. - A guy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:30 am:

    “A reading from the Acts of the Apostles…”


  31. - Chicago Hack - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:36 am:

    “Please hold all questions until December 2016.”


  32. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:38 am:

    “I don’t need to talk to Arne Duncan…”


  33. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:39 am:

    “When I heard Oswego tabled my resolution, I stepped back and said, ‘Whoa, “ck”, we need to rethink your emails’. It shook me.”


  34. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:41 am:

    “My ego?….”


  35. - A Jack - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:41 am:

    “I didn’t play the English horn, but did a lot of mime acting. Here is my invisible wall mime impression.”


  36. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:44 am:

    “Did you all get your $25 gift cards yet…”


  37. - Wordslinger - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:45 am:

    “Madigan runs the House, so what? Look, I’ve got this-many houses…..”


  38. - anonlurker - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:53 am:

    “I’m not a governor. I just play one on TV.”


  39. - A guy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:56 am:

    Willy takes up this much space on every Caption Contest trying to win….and you don’t get nothin’ if you do.


  40. - Jorge - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:57 am:

    It takes this many state workers to change a light bulb.


  41. - Obamas Puppy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:57 am:

    Has anyone seen a “g” laying around here?


  42. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:59 am:

    Sorry. I’m only gonna talk to media I own.


  43. - RetiredStateEmployee - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:02 am:

    No, no, my friends won’t be hurt by any of my policies.


  44. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:07 am:

    - A Guy -, life is fun. It is.

    “Caption?”

    “I put this much ketchup on my hot dog…”


  45. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:09 am:

    “My rule of thumb? I won’t tell a fib unless it’s at least this big…”


  46. - Anonymiss - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:10 am:

    “You do the Hokey-Pokey, and you turn the state around…”


  47. - Ryan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:11 am:

    Fine, I’ll add the “g’s.”


  48. - Macintosh Mouse - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:13 am:

    I was this far away from Chelviston when he started attacking me.


  49. - Michelle Flaherty - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:17 am:

    Count Dooku’s about to annihilate someone with his blue lightning dark side powers.


  50. - Big Joe - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:18 am:

    Hands Up……Don’t Shoot, or expect any answers to questions.


  51. - Quizzical - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:19 am:

    Whoa there! I think if you paid attention and read a little between the lines, my intent to eviscerate the middle class in this state was clear from the start of my campaign.


  52. - Macintosh Mouse - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:21 am:

    I think Ryan wins. He should not be talking in two separate dialects, one of which is phony. cf. Hillary Clinton, the Yankees fan from Park Ridge.


  53. - Dave Dahl - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:26 am:

    “Yeah, we put out a statement on that”


  54. - dixiechick - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:27 am:

    Honestly, I can’t find my ties at the mansion- I think they are with the g’s!


  55. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:28 am:

    “Do I care about the little people (pause, raises his hands) …you decide.”


  56. - A guy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:30 am:

    === Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:07 am:

    - A Guy -, life is fun. It is.

    “Caption?”

    “I put this much ketchup on my hot dog…”===

    OW, keep pluggin’. Some days I even find myself rootin’ for ya. Today is one of ‘em.


  57. - Tommydanger - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:46 am:

    “Talk to the Hand”


  58. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:47 am:

    You see any dirt under these fingernails?
    Do I look I ever did manual labor?
    My hands are soft as a baby’s cheek.
    Sure, I get manicures.
    I got a splinter once, it was really bad, really bad and I didn’t miss work or get workers’ comp.
    See these hands, still work well after all those years of holding a pen.


  59. - jazzy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:49 am:

    I give up you all win…I am outta here…


  60. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:51 am:

    “I’m a Steeler fan…ok?… Steeler fan…”


  61. - Earnest - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:58 am:

    No press availability.


  62. - vole - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:58 am:

    “Sorry folks. If you are gonna be real citizens you gotta get out of Springfield.”


  63. - Tommydanger - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:58 am:

    “And since I started taking Chocks vitamins, I can do this with my hands.”


  64. - Wensicia - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 12:18 pm:

    “You can trust me. Look, I have nothin’ up my sleeves.”


  65. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 12:22 pm:

    “Hey, I got elected so I can do whatever I want, even stuff I said I’d never do during the campaign.”


  66. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 12:24 pm:

    “I’m just trying to keep Illinois competitive with Kentucky.”


  67. - VanillaMan - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 12:26 pm:

    “If our state economy rebounds, you can’t blame me.”


  68. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 12:54 pm:

    “Evelyn’s fine… Take your seats… Evelyn’s fine, she’ll get up in a second… She’s ok… Everyone please…please… Be seated…”


  69. - Huh? - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:21 pm:

    No, the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing. And I don’t know what either hand is doing because I don’t read the newspapers.


  70. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:42 pm:

    “Pin on my lapel? Nah. It’s mustard from one of those–whattya call ‘em?–corn dogs I ate at the state fair last summer.”


  71. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:42 pm:

    “And that’s all I can do of my Jolson impression because it’s not politically correct, ya know.”


  72. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:45 pm:

    “Bother me? I suppose if lots of people in Illinois hated me, it might. But my staff tells me everybody loves me. I’m sure that’s what the newspapers are saying too.”


  73. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:47 pm:

    “Please, please. Oswego Willy is entitled to crack wise on Capitol Fax like everybody else. It’s pure coincidence that his house is being reassessed.”


  74. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:49 pm:

    “The tires on my van are THIS big. That explains why the odometer readings are so high.”


  75. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:50 pm:

    “If we make our salamis this long, we’ll rip all the business away from Indiana.”


  76. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:53 pm:

    “Then Gabby Hayes pulls his gun and says to the outlaws, ‘Reach for a cloud, and hang onto it.’ Can’t you see I’m crackin’ up here?”


  77. - Streator Curmudgeon - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 1:55 pm:

    “No, I’m not trying to make a point. I like to keep my hands like this in case any shoes come flying my way.”


  78. - Outside the Bubble - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:04 pm:

    Hey, I didn’t realize the middle class and unions were that important to the Illinois Economy, just sayin.


  79. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:07 pm:

    “Wait, wait, wait… I’m not locking you out… I’d call it a temporary furlow…


  80. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:10 pm:

    “Let me leave you with this… Judge me by what I tell you… Not, by what I do… (Puts hands up, leaves podium)


  81. - D-43 - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:15 pm:

    “Five dollar. Five dollar FOOT LONG!”


  82. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:17 pm:

    “I’m going to stop you right there. Just stop. I own the Tribune Editorial Board, I rent the Sun-Times for Editorials (raises hands) …got it? Good.”


  83. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:21 pm:

    “How big of a hole does the mansion have in its roof?”


  84. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:24 pm:

    Give me my ball back I’m going home.


  85. - bluecollargal - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:25 pm:

    “Cuts? Good Friday Massacre? Hey, (hands thrown up in air) don’t look at me. I just found some money so you can have it back. No hard feelings right?”


  86. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:27 pm:

    You get both hands in indiana like this…


  87. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:29 pm:

    I have ten mansions now.


  88. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:30 pm:

    “I keep my word… (Pauses, raises hands, repeats softly, feeling guilty)… I keep my word…”


  89. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:31 pm:

    Blessed be the ignorant voter


  90. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:35 pm:

    “If you’re not Grif, or Sam, or Uihile… (Raises hands) I can’t help you…”


  91. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:38 pm:

    “Understand, (raises hands), you’re lookibg at the only non-corrupt public official in Illinois. (Pause)… only one…(lowers havds)”


  92. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:41 pm:

    Enjoy Illinois big headed carp this big


  93. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:43 pm:

    “I am putting back the $26 million ok? (crowd is still silent, a lone cough is heard, then silence resumes. Rauner raises his hands) Nothing?”


  94. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 2:48 pm:

    Presto chango watch me make a nursing home disappear


  95. - Arthur Andersen - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:09 pm:

    “Yep, this was how I was sworn in. You gotta problem with that?”


  96. - BlameBruceRauner - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:14 pm:

    My French horn practice didn’t go to well today. Im kinda sore, ok


  97. - Skeptical - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:17 pm:

    “I’m not kidding, we’re this close to a budget deal.”


  98. - Skeptical - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:19 pm:

    “My Timex watch? I gave it to a homeless man sleeping on the sidewalk outside my tenth mansion.”


  99. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:27 pm:

    “If you charge me with ‘intent to destroy the ILGOP’, (raises both hands)…’guilty as charged’, ok…”


  100. - Oswego Willy - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 3:29 pm:

    “My hands are clean, I didn’t start that Democratic group, aimed at taking on sitting Democrats in their primary…as a Republican…(shakes both hand) not me, not me…”


  101. - AJ_yooper - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 4:26 pm:

    OK, I frequently have no idea what I’m talking about. Like now.


  102. - Christopher - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 4:50 pm:

    “Now, when I take money and services from those who can least afford it so my friends and I can get richer, raise your hands like this! And smile!”


  103. - Neveranonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 5:37 pm:

    I won’t stop, even of the list of local governments rejecting my anti-union resolution is this big.


  104. - Unpreferred Veteran - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 8:09 pm:

    “Whoa! My left hand doesn’t know what my right hand is doing!”


  105. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:13 pm:

    I throw my hands up and quit your stuck with Evelyn


  106. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:26 pm:

    My stigmata has healed


  107. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:37 pm:

    This will be the new turn around agenda sign (just shove)


  108. - Anonymous - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 10:42 pm:

    Guess what hand has the state pension money?


  109. - Quarriedman - Thursday, Apr 30, 15 @ 11:20 pm:

    HULK SMASH ASSEMBLY AND COURT. HULK ESTABLISH RIGHT TO WORK.


  110. - J - Friday, May 1, 15 @ 7:14 am:

    If my hands stay up I won’t continue to shoot myself in the foot.


  111. - Anonymous - Friday, May 1, 15 @ 7:54 am:

    I need two cup of coffee ASAP.


  112. - Old Lobbyist - Friday, May 1, 15 @ 8:09 am:

    I am not union bashing but merely union clarifying.


  113. - DuPage - Friday, May 1, 15 @ 8:17 am:

    Nothin’ in my hands, nothin’ up my sleeves.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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