“…for those just tuning in, we have Governor Bruce Rauner on the line, and I was just told by my producer that the Governor will stay for the next 90 minutes, taking your calls, so we’ll stay with him for a bit. You were saying Governor… “
Didn’t know Brown could sleep standin’ up
Or
They said the new Blue Room was too small
Or
Want to say somethin’ about Amanda sizin’ up the crew, but that would be an inappropriate work place comment.
“While all who attended received a free sport-coat and tie, some were visibly disappointed when told that the Salvation Army’s kitchen had run out of soup.”
the older guys at the bachelor party not only realized that the person who showed up about the ‘noise complaint’ wasn’t a cop, they also realized they were not in the mood for what came next.
- The Colossus of Roads - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
The voice in his head kept saying ” ban for life”.
Rich Miller thought bubble:
“First he tells me to pay attention. Then he makes Brownie stand next to me. Now he keeps repeating the word moderation. Is this some sort of intervention?”
“…and before we get to Former Governor Quinn’s description of his legacy as a Former Treasurer…I’d like to take this time to remind you that the doors to this hall are not locked…”
“…yes, it may sound very familiar and you may even find it a bit dull, but when was the last time we considered the importance of crop rotation in each of our counties?”
Dave Kujan: “First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let’s say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever’s sleeping is your man. You see, if you’re guilty, you know you’re caught, you get some rest, you let your guard down.”
“…Well Mr. Dahl, I’m glad you had your little snooze and are now back with our group. Later, I’ll let Mr. Brown take you into our back room to bring you up to speed on what you’ve missed…”
(Warning: This will only make sense to those who watch the show “Intervention”):
Dave Dahl reads his “bottom line” letter to Rich while interventionist Jeff VonVonderen (Steve Brown) assures Rich that the room is full of people who love him like crazy and want to get him back… Rich, will you go to treatment today to overcome your addiction to politics?
- Goonhammer - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:06 pm:
3:1 Khaki’s Ratio.
- ryan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
Certainly not “extreme”.
- The Colossus of Roads - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
It’s five o’clock somewhere. We gone!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
“…for those just tuning in, we have Governor Bruce Rauner on the line, and I was just told by my producer that the Governor will stay for the next 90 minutes, taking your calls, so we’ll stay with him for a bit. You were saying Governor… “
- MurMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
300 years of life experience
- Skeptic - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:08 pm:
“Oh…Steve….I know you like to sing, but this isn’t the time for Puccini..”
- Anonin' - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:09 pm:
Didn’t know Brown could sleep standin’ up
Or
They said the new Blue Room was too small
Or
Want to say somethin’ about Amanda sizin’ up the crew, but that would be an inappropriate work place comment.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:10 pm:
“Fellas, sorry, the bug cooking segment is going long, then we have news, weather, and then sports… sorry for the delay…”
- MrJM - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
“While all who attended received a free sport-coat and tie, some were visibly disappointed when told that the Salvation Army’s kitchen had run out of soup.”
– MrJM
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
Dave Dahl had thought they could get rid of their playoff beards
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
Dahl: Why isn’t the Blue Room blue?
Miller: If I hear “functioning in the extreme” one more time I’m gonna scream.
Brown: Hey, Speaker, say “functioning in the extreme” again. I think Miller’s about to crack.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
The Green Room magician isn’t doing very well as this audience seems to show
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
Speaker Madigan begins his lecture on carving an apple correctly.
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:14 pm:
At the end the assistant principals all knew that they were not going to end up being named the new principal.
- Anon. - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
The mandatory annual civics course for statehouse denizens was never much fun, but the session on recall was deadly.
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
the older guys at the bachelor party not only realized that the person who showed up about the ‘noise complaint’ wasn’t a cop, they also realized they were not in the mood for what came next.
- The Colossus of Roads - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
The voice in his head kept saying ” ban for life”.
- Bluefish - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:18 pm:
Rich Miller thought bubble:
“First he tells me to pay attention. Then he makes Brownie stand next to me. Now he keeps repeating the word moderation. Is this some sort of intervention?”
- Anonymiss - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:19 pm:
“I put on pants for this, and Brown is ready for a barbershop quartet over here. Can we get this presser started already, guys?” - Miller
- Michelle Flaherty - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
Worst Dockers ad ever.
- sal-says - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
Man, we all ought to be out on the lake today.
- Ghost - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:21 pm:
Miller: i dont always listen when brown speaks, but when i do, i drink dos eques….
- A Jack - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:21 pm:
The Pep boys, without any pep.
- One to the Dome - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
Though bubble for all three “…and we have at least 6 more weeks of this?”
- Bill White - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
“You expect me to believe what?”
- Precinct Captain - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:23 pm:
As extra innings drag on, those in the press box become more and more haggard, but adrenaline keeps the players resolute.
- Tom B. - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:24 pm:
Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Nobody knows but Jesus
Anybody knows the trouble I’ve seen
Glory, Hallelujah
- Anonymous - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
Instructor Steve Brown demonstrates correct posture at the “Public Speaking for Journalists” class.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
“Gentlemen!
Mr. Brown will now take you where you are to fully disrobe!”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:27 pm:
“…and in my other hand, I hold a simple deck of cards…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
Evelyn Sanguinetti speaks while others wait patiently for the real press conferences to begin after…
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
“…why do I ask myself this?… you may be already wondering…why I ask myself… this…question…”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
“BOZO CIRCUS IS ON THE AIR!”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
“…and before we get to Former Governor Quinn’s description of his legacy as a Former Treasurer…I’d like to take this time to remind you that the doors to this hall are not locked…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:34 pm:
“I know what you’re saying to yourselves. I know it. I was once you guys too. ‘Why buy a time share’…amiright?”
- Wensicia - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:35 pm:
“I have no idea what pic to use for the next Caption Contest.”
- OneMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
Even though it wasn’t on Atkins Rich along with the rest were disappointed when it turns out there wasn’t going to be punch and pie after all.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
“…yes, it may sound very familiar and you may even find it a bit dull, but when was the last time we considered the importance of crop rotation in each of our counties?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
===“I have no idea what pic to use for the next Caption Contest.”===
Genius, well played.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
“AS THOUGHTLESS TOOLS OF THE LIBERAL MEDIA…”
- Politix - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
“There goes Madigan, feedin us that phony baloney sausage again.”
- Gooner - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:39 pm:
Dave Kujan: “First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let’s say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever’s sleeping is your man. You see, if you’re guilty, you know you’re caught, you get some rest, you let your guard down.”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:40 pm:
“…you’ve probably heard me say this a million times before…”
- hold on - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:42 pm:
Not a caption, but I like how this one doesn’t have the frequent admonishment to keep it clean. Which I take as a “Have at it, kids!”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:44 pm:
“…Miller?…Miller?…Miller?…Dahl?…Dahl?…Is there a Mr. Dahl here?…anyone?…anyone?…”
- PublicServant - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:46 pm:
Exhibit 1-center. The after-affects of a liquid lunch.
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:46 pm:
“…it might be just me, but I’m not sensing a lot of excitement…Mr. Brown? Could you please begin using your Taser?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
“… So, in that spirit, I’m switching to pears…”
- In a Minute - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
Notepad? Pen? Nah, I didn’t bring them because Brown writes all this stuff down for me.
- Tommydanger - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
Why is everyone asking me about my playoffs beard?
- MP - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
…and that’s the way the cookie crumbles.. :p
- walker - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
The Speaker Man: “Let us pray.”
- Tommydanger - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:50 pm:
Now, how many fingers do I put down for a slider?
- Tommydanger - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:50 pm:
I coulda been a contender!
- Tommydanger - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:51 pm:
Mama said there’d be days like this.
- Anyone Remember - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:52 pm:
“Friday afternoon wearin’ a tie, stuck in a room that looks like the Rathskeller!”
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:52 pm:
“…Well Mr. Dahl, I’m glad you had your little snooze and are now back with our group. Later, I’ll let Mr. Brown take you into our back room to bring you up to speed on what you’ve missed…”
- DPGumby - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:55 pm:
the Marx Bros from the alternative universe
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:58 pm:
Eliane announces she’s leaving J Peterman to run for Mayor of NYC as George, Jerry, and Kramer look on.
- Mama - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 2:59 pm:
Please tell us something we don’t already know or go back to No Comment.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:04 pm:
Steve Brown proudly brings out the newest duckling for their first press conference as others listen to the traditional canned opening.
- Amalia - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:04 pm:
Steve Brown has a wax museum figure for the Press Hall of Fame and I don’t?
- ??? - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:04 pm:
(Warning: This will only make sense to those who watch the show “Intervention”):
Dave Dahl reads his “bottom line” letter to Rich while interventionist Jeff VonVonderen (Steve Brown) assures Rich that the room is full of people who love him like crazy and want to get him back… Rich, will you go to treatment today to overcome your addiction to politics?
- Dave Dahl - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:06 pm:
Whatever is worse than a thorn, between two thorns
- VanillaMan - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:07 pm:
“…is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us Ms. Vinicky?”
- Joe M - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:08 pm:
Rich - I definitely stayed at the bar too long last nite.
Dave - Me too.
- Enviro - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:17 pm:
Speaking truth to power.
- Judgment Day - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:20 pm:
The Wizard, the Spinmeister Extraordinaire, and some guy watching the White Sox lose another game.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:21 pm:
Rich Miller’s body language that the Speaker not be attending Miller’s 60th birthday bash as Madigan will be busy negotiating a 2016 budget.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:22 pm:
“… I wouldn’t make any plans this fall either…”
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:27 pm:
“I miss Rod.”
- Filmmaker Professor - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:36 pm:
“Is the buffet open yet?”
- No Longer A Lurker - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:38 pm:
Three models waiting to audition for a Men’s Warehouse commercial.
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:39 pm:
“I wish Oswego Willy had won.”
- crazybleedingheart - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:40 pm:
“Did I shave my legs for this?”
- Cheswick - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:40 pm:
Waiting to audition for the Miller Light Tent.
- Honeybear - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:48 pm:
Miller thought bubble: sweet mother of God prevent me from saying something inappropriate!
- Anon221 - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 3:59 pm:
“Rich….Hey Rich! Amanda’s taking pictures again!”
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 4:03 pm:
===Please tell us something we don’t already know or go back to No Comment.===
This is EXACTLY what I was thinking.
No joke.
Winner.
- 13thone - Friday, Jun 19, 15 @ 4:20 pm:
The crew waiting for the Governor to speak off topic without prepared remarks. And waiting….waiting….waiting…zzzzz.