* From yesterday’s House floor debate…

       

125 Comments - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:23 am: (Thinking) I can’t believe it. Rauner’s gonna do it to me again… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:24 am: (Thinking) Ok Ron, stop your hooting… - Are Ya Kiddin' Me? - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:24 am: We’ve got the Speaker right where he wants us. - No matter where you go - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am: I guess negative G-forces can plant you back into your chair - anon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am: Channeling troubled rapper DMX “Y’all gon make me loose my mind, up in here, up in here”… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am: (Thinking) Remember, it’s for the $20 million, it’s for the $20 million… - Ethos - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:25 am: I should have been a judge. - PublicServant - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am: No, or Present? I think Present. Who doesn’t like Presents? - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am: Wake me when Lang finishes. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:26 am: (Thinking) maybe… Attorney General in 2018… - relocated - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am: Only 3 more weeks of session and my transition to jabba the hut will be complete. - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am: 71 bottles of beer on the wall, 71 bottles of beer.. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:27 am: (Thinking) “$&@#% Tom Cross…” - NIU Grad - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am: MRW you remember you left the oven on. - Stones - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am: I was supposed to be in Disneyworld this week. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:28 am: (Thinking) I’ll never get to push that “green” button… - Red Dog - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am: Who would have thought that losing the US Senate seat would be the highlight of my career. - Shermanite - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am: Calgon,take me away… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am: (Thinking) What would Daniels do? - walker - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am: “He won’t let the best bill out of committee. Maybe I should just give it to Jack Franks to run, and see if that will move it.” - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:29 am: I know I’m supposed to be a leader, but being a pawn is beginning to make my blood boil. Hope my head doesn’t burst. - Bogey Golfer - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:30 am: “Note to self - make dental appointment. That right lower molar is starting to give me problems.” - A Citizen - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:30 am: I told them Thats not a Buick. - Precinct Captain - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:31 am: “What’s it like to think independently?” - Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:31 am: How did I end up with the worst job in Springfield? - Wensicia - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:32 am: Is all this worth $10,000? I think I’ll need another check… - DuPage Don - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am: ….thought cloud….I wonder how it would have been with a Governor Dillard. - Mittuns - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am: But I don’t wanna participate in the governing process! - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am: (Thinking) … and we had to sit still and take it… (h/t - 47th Ward- the other day) - Casual Observer - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am: I can’t believe I get paid for doing this. Is this a great country or what? - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:33 am: Of all the caption contests in the world, I had to stumble into this one. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am: I coulda been a contenda. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am: (Thinking) … and while I’m here, I bet Cross and Willy are golfing. Again. … - Michael Westen - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:35 am: Can I at least get a kiss? - Name Withheld - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am: Did I forget to put the cat out? I forgot to put the cat out. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am: I don’t sweat you Mikie. - Mason born - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am: Why did I want this job again? Hey Poe you want to switch? - @MisterJayEm - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am: “Maybe if I sit very, very still and don’t make eye-contact…” – MrJM - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:36 am: Why does everyone on the other side sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher? - Six Degrees of Separation - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:37 am: For he’s a jowly good fellow. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:37 am: (Floor Phone is ringing, Durkin thinks) I know Bruce, I know… You don’t have to keep calling… “No Green”… (Phone stops ringing, pause, starts ringing again)… (Sigh) - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:38 am: Thinking The seamstress was about an inch short on my collar line measurement. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am: Why me, Lord? - Luggie - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am: “I’ve got to concentrate… concentrate… concentrate… Hello?… hello… hello… Echo… echo… echo… Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon… Manny Mota… Mota… Mota…” - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:39 am: (Thinking) We let a stranger in our house… - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:40 am: Someone should tell Willy that texting while driving a golf cart is still dangerous. As soon as we get a damn budget, I’m filing “Willy’s Law” - Mittuns - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:40 am: What’s with that mole on my shoulder? I should check WebMD. I need to get that checked out. I probably have skin cancer, yep, I have skin cancer. I wonder if it is too late to get the tuna fish, not really in the mood for soup. My Groupon for teeth whitening expires this weekend, better make my appointment. Did Billy Joel ever figure out who started the fire? I need a nap. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am: How do I backtrack on my pledge: No tax increase? - A guy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am: Things used to be more fun around here. But, alas that was a chin ago. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:41 am: It’s a beautiful life. - Midstate Indy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am: …Auditor General…10 year term… - Mittuns - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am: Minions, in theaters Friday. - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:42 am: What could I have done differently? This team player / lending crap is for the birds. - VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:43 am: This isn’t governing. This isn’t what I ran for. This isn’t how I want to spend summer. This isn’t the budget we need. This isn’t happiness. This isn’t a democracy anymore. This is what happens when you agree with someone. These aren’t the droids I was looking for. These aren’t my pants. This isn’t what it looks like. This isn’t Russia. This isn’t my party. This isn’t even yoga. This isn’t my coffee. This isn’t a cluster - wait, yeah it is. This isn’t Greece - just Greek-ish. This isn’t my desk - who is that? - Austin Blvd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:44 am: I m stuck here while I could be making rain and getting billable hours. - Levois - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:50 am: Look at me over here chillin’ - QuidditchLover1997 - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:56 am: I really hope the Speaker doesn’t get mad again. - QuidditchLover1997 - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:57 am: Jim Durkin or Jim Derpin? - downstate commissioner - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 11:58 am: If I have to suppress this yawn much longer, I’m gonna die… and no one will notice… - RNUG - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:09 pm: Lets see … I was first elected in 1995; 2015 minus 2005 = 20 years ago. You max out at 85% pension at 20 years. I wish GARS would hurry up and get back to me with that pension estimate … - RNUG - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:10 pm: OOps .. should have read 2015 - 1995 - A Jack - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:11 pm: “When does this roller coaster stop? Great lighting effects though with all the pretty red and green lights.” - Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:18 pm: Totally worth it - Gantt Chart - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:20 pm: Warp 9, Mr. Sulu! - 4 percent - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:23 pm: I can’t wait for vacation - Wordslinger - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:26 pm: If he signs this one I’ll freak…. - Jim Nelson - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:32 pm: Hmmm…Sandack does sound a bit like Terry Parke… Take me now, Lord…! - Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:33 pm: “I think I’ll have Nick Nolte play me in the movie “Useless in Springfield” - ihpsdm - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:38 pm: Is my face turning blue yet? - Team Sleep - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:38 pm: “I should’ve listened to Team Sleep. Saputo’s really isn’t that good.” - too obvious - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:44 pm: My older brother got a federal judgeship and all I got was this super-minority caucus. - too obvious - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:47 pm: If I threw some stuff around right now could I get a ticket to Congress too? - Sunshine - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:49 pm: I can do this….I can do this…. - Southside Markie - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:54 pm: Rauner: “OK, Jim. Now tell them that you’re going to sit there and hold your breath until they give you what I want.” - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:57 pm: (Thinking) I came back… to the Illinois House… for this. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 12:59 pm: (Thinking) I miss Joe Lyons in the Chair… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:02 pm: (Thinking) Welp, I could always primary Christine… - How Ironic - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:06 pm: I swear, if there is ONE MORE ‘U-TURN’, I’m gonna vote MY WAY next time…. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:06 pm: (Thinking) I wish there was a caption contest to lift my spirits… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:29 pm: (Thinking) Is Lee’s picture hung straight… Like a bit… Nah, it’s the shadow - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:31 pm: “Leader Durkin, as I recall, you were once a committee chair under Speaker Madigan. We’re. You. Not!?!?!?” - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:34 pm: (Thinking) Oh Geez, it’s Goldberg… - Arthur Andersen - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:36 pm: RNUG-well played, sir. Caption: “I don’t know if I can hold on for med-mar any more!” - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:37 pm: (If I find that page who put Super Glue on the back of my chair…) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:38 pm: And now, my impression of Drew Carey before he lost weight… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:40 pm: (Thinking) Oh geez, Christine is going to haveta vote in this again… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:42 pm: (Thinking) Don’t tempt me McSweeney, I may walk away… - NewWestSuburbanGOP'er - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:43 pm: Why me? - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:43 pm: (Thinking) I can’t believe it, but I wish I was Jack Franks… - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm: (Thinking) Anyone get the license plate of that Amendment that ran us over? Ugh. - Suburban Dad - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm: Damn. . . Bruce told me to “sit tight” but I really have to go to the bathroom! - Bee - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:46 pm: (earworm) Goodbye Mrs. Durkin, I’m sick and tired of working… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5Mdk2gAJpM - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:48 pm: (Thinking) Why can’t we make easy votes… like SSM or Conceal Carry anyone… - DuPage Don - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:50 pm: Oswego Willy, you are proving what I’ve posted once before: You have way, way, way too much time on your hands. You must be a legislative analyst. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:53 pm: - DuPage Don - Nope, I actually work for Lt. Governor Evelyn Sanguinetti… Same thing. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 1:55 pm: (Thinking) Can’t Bruce get one victory, just for my sake… - efudd - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:03 pm: Thinking about deals with the devil. You dance with the devil, the devil doesn’t change, the devil changes you. - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:06 pm: (”All the girls crazy for a sharp dressed man…yeah, that’s me. Darn tootin’”) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:08 pm: (Hipster glasses, she said. You’d look cool in hipster glasses. I don’t know. Me? Cool? Was that somebody laughing at me? No, no, I guess it was just somebody snoring. Well, maybe I DO look cool. Darn straight.) - Not in the Know - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:09 pm: DD I was thinking the same thing…..job anyone? Or to use a Caddy Shack quote, “don’t you people have homes”. - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:11 pm: (Ant Man. That should be good. But that new Terminator was a disappointment. How the heck old IS Arnold now, anyway? Did the sign language lady just give me a Vulcan salute? No. Maybe not.) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:13 pm: (That chandelier is SO dusty.) - Anonymous Redux - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:15 pm: Bruce said…bite tongue…harder! - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:17 pm: (Thinking) Can. We. Just. Vote already… - hmmm - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:19 pm: i knew it was going to be a bad day when all I had left to wear for tie’s was the one quinn gave me,…. man I miss Quinn, what the heck. - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:23 pm: (I wonder if it’s true that Catherine Kelly went to Rockome Gardens on her honeymoon?) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:26 pm: (Is that Kim Kardashian up in the gallery?) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:29 pm: (I wonder what it would be like to have a REAL job?) - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:30 pm: (I don’t remember who taught me how to paint eyes on my eyelids, but man, what a swell trick. Dreamland, here I come!) - VanillaMan - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:41 pm: Thank God I’m A Legislator - Denver, enhanced by VanillaMan Well, life in this place should be laid back But during budget time, I’m just a political hack They’ll tell you when to vote - don’t know jack Thank God, I’m A Legislator Well a simple kinda vote never did me no harm I’m a little mushroom on this little mushroom farm My days are filled, snoozing through every alarm Thank God I’m a Legislator When the budget deadlines past and the funds are zero I pull in my head, and under my desk, I go I’m just a sheep, so I keep it kinda low Thank God I’m a Legislator I’d play with your money all day if I could But my voters and my wife would think I’m a hood So I “grant” when I can, forget when I should Thank God, I’m a Legislator Well, I got me a district, finding it is a riddle With these votes comin’ up I got to stay in the middle Our coalition is very, very brittle Thank God I’m A Legislator Well I wouldn’t trade my vote, for favors or cash I got a pension, benefits, and a campaign stash But then you never know when your career is gonna crash Thank God I’m a Legislator Yeah, the governor is riding in a black limousine A lotta union people thinkin’ he’s mighty mean Son, let me tell you, Rauner is politically extreme I thank God I’m a Legislator Well, I got me a fine seat, got it from my father Get elected without a fuss, campaigning is a bother Last thing I need is a budget that’s getting hotter Thank God I’m a Legislator Well, this office was my daddy’s til the day he died And he took me by the hand and held me close to his side He said… ‘Smile a whole lot, and they’ll probably let you slide’ And thank God you’re a Legislator” My daddy taught me young how to campaign and how to vote He taught me how to speak off the cuff, to avoid a quote Taught me how to leave my voting key, with a note Thank God I’m a Legislator Well, I got me a fine staff, filled with free interns When the primaries are done, we face the midterms We promise anything until our conscience burns Thank God I’m a Legislator! - 47th Ward - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:46 pm: Th th this ma ma ma massage ch chair is f f fantastic. - Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:47 pm: 47th, that was pretty darned funny. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 2:48 pm: “But one of you… One… one ate the Frozen Strawberries…” - zatoichi - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:07 pm: Key West….here. Hmmmmm. - Mama - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:26 pm: I would kill him but… - Mama - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:27 pm: I gave up my vacation for this circus??? - Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:34 pm: Leader Durkin, You’re a good sport, and a good guy. I wish you the best as always. OW - Bogey Golfer - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:36 pm: “Cubs-Sox game is on. Had a chance to go but had to pass. Sitting here listening to this @$$%%^ instead.” - Bogey Golfer - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:38 pm: “Need to start buying shirts with a larger neck size. This one’s choking me.” - Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:40 pm: Mama, normally I delete comments with violent imagery. However, yours made me laugh so hard I just couldn’t do it. Even so, warning to everyone else, that was the exception which proves the rule. Thanks. lol (Still laughing for some reason.) - Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:43 pm: If I were Speaker, yes I was Speaker, I’d be pretty and witty and - Anonymous - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:46 pm: Where is Bost when you need him. Set my caucus free! - Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 3:56 pm: I hate to jinx it, but this was the funniest caption contests we’ve had in a while. And I just exchanged text messages with Leader Durkin. He took it quite well and said it was some funny, um, stuff. - wow - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:08 pm: medmar medshmar, we going to need some much stroger stuff legal if I got three more years of this - Justice Torch - Friday, Jul 10, 15 @ 4:19 pm: =====Only 3 more weeks of session and my transition to jabba the hut will be complete.====== Completely slayed me! What a way to end my Friday. I’m actually sweating from laughing so hard.. lord jesus! Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.