The Rauner Superstars announced today that Ron Gidwitz has been traded to Joe Walsh’s hypothetical U.S. Senate campaign for two 20-year-old poly sci majors at NIU (prospects) just before the trade deadline.
“Step one, work to elect the guy with more money than me who surrounds himself with Kirk staffers. Check.
Now onto Step 2: use this leverage to take out Kirk……oh, crap…..”
I wish it was my victory they were celebrating. Mmm, maybe I do a ‘House of Cards’ thing. I start by saying mean things about Senator Kirk until he steps aside. I count on Schock to self destruct, prod Bruce into a debilitating stalemate. They will beg me to take high office. A few more machinations and these people will be cheering for President Ron Godwitz.
Why? Because you need Rauner, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this, to save you from yourselves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a State to run.
bubble thought
“oh, Gawwwd, but I hate these things. So plebeian. Oh, well, since I was responsible for the victory. I suppose I must show my magnificent face to these…these…people. But it IS so inconvenient….(sniff)
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:30 pm:
The ATM: Yeah, whatever, you won…”yeah you”..,
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:31 pm:
The ATM: At least I showed Dillard…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:32 pm:
The ATM: I could still… probably… take Kirk out…
- OneMan - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:33 pm:
As he realized no one used Sauve haircare products, Ron was unimpressed
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:33 pm:
The ATM: Careful… Careful… Careful Evelyn… Down she goes…
- @MisterJayEm - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:34 pm:
Ron Gidwitz in “too much of a defensive position”.
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:34 pm:
The ATM: And I thought Bruce wasn’t answering my calls before…
- A guy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:35 pm:
Note to self: Call Greg Hinz in 8 months.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:35 pm:
The ATM: Welp, I may be shut out now, but I still have Sneed and Crain’s to be heard…
- A guy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:36 pm:
Darn, it’s easier to get ahold of the guy without a cell phone.
- A guy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:37 pm:
I accidentally got on the Up elevator. Just look at these people.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:38 pm:
The ATM: Uihlein will be insufferable.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:38 pm:
I need a hug
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:38 pm:
The ATM: I chose… poorly
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:39 pm:
The ATM: Maybe I shoulda just forgave Dillard. Stupid pride…
- chi - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:40 pm:
I thought I was the one that resembled C. Montgomery Burns
- @MisterJayEm - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:40 pm:
“I accidentally got on the Up elevator. Just look at these people.”
Ha!
– MrJM
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:40 pm:
“I put Rauner in office and now I’m gonna take Kirk out. Yeah. Go me.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:40 pm:
The ATM: They told me… being rich wasn’t enough…
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:44 pm:
The ATM: I’m not jealous… I’m not… I feel like I’m scowling… just put my arms down… Or clap… I’m. Not. Clapping. … Stop, I haveta look happy for him..
- Wensicia - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:44 pm:
“Kevin Spacey should play me in the movie version.”
- MOON - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:44 pm:
Why am I required to stand beside these peons?
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:44 pm:
Hehe and these rubes think the campaign is over
- chi - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:45 pm:
Rauner=Tony
Gidwitz=Feech LaManna
https://youtu.be/hnLnvU8DjBY?t=2m34s
- Dirty Red - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:47 pm:
The Rauner Superstars announced today that Ron Gidwitz has been traded to Joe Walsh’s hypothetical U.S. Senate campaign for two 20-year-old poly sci majors at NIU (prospects) just before the trade deadline.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
The ATM: (thinking) Do. They. Know. Who. I. Am?!
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
“Step one, work to elect the guy with more money than me who surrounds himself with Kirk staffers. Check.
Now onto Step 2: use this leverage to take out Kirk……oh, crap…..”
- Norseman - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
I wanted to be the rich guy who is the center of attention. Well there is still Sneed.
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
“These people can’t be Republicans.”
- ananamas - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:51 pm:
“All dressed up and nowhere to go.”
- Captain Illini - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:52 pm:
“…I’m still waiting for it to rub the in the lotion, then place the bottle in the basket…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:52 pm:
The ATM: I think I just outsmarted myself…
- Allen D - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:56 pm:
Keep it together people… people….
- The Colossus of Roads - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
This is my happy face!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 1:58 pm:
The ATM: The ole “switcheroo” and I fell for it…
- Anon - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:00 pm:
ummm..i’m the finance chair. right? right!
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:00 pm:
Illinois has no idea what they have done . . . .
- Wordslinger - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:05 pm:
Legend in his own mind Ron Gidwitz waits patiently among the rabble for his first-class seat on the train to Nowhere.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:06 pm:
What I’m I going to do with all these gift cards I’m holding?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
The ATM: “No room in the suite, the Governor-Elect will see you downstairs”? Whadda mean, “no room in the suite”…
- A guy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
What good is center stage if you gotta share it with all these other people no one knows?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
===What I’m I going to do with all these gift cards I’m holding?===
That made me laugh…
- A guy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:09 pm:
Jeesh, it’s like I’m standing with the crowd that paid 50 bucks or got in free. They can’t even pronounce thousand let alone million.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:11 pm:
The ATM: I’m gonna wash that Bruce right out of my hair, and send him on his way…
- Ghost - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:11 pm:
I need a beard and a biker vest…..
- Old Shepherd - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
Professor Snape celebrates as Slytherin wins the House Cup.
- @MisterJayEm - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
While you’re at the job working nine to five
Ron G and the Boys - cold kickin’ it live
– MrJM
- In Charge... - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:14 pm:
“…I am still in charge, I am still in Charge, I am still in CHARGE!!!!”
- Amalia - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:20 pm:
Are we done yet?
- 47th Ward - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:38 pm:
Very funny Bruce. Can I please have my real VIP tickets now?
- Earl - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:40 pm:
There is a “How many millionaires does it take…” joke here but its escaping me right now.
- Quizzical - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:46 pm:
I wish it was my victory they were celebrating. Mmm, maybe I do a ‘House of Cards’ thing. I start by saying mean things about Senator Kirk until he steps aside. I count on Schock to self destruct, prod Bruce into a debilitating stalemate. They will beg me to take high office. A few more machinations and these people will be cheering for President Ron Godwitz.
- RFR - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:58 pm:
Why? Because you need Rauner, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may move you to vote Democratic, but deep down you long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this, to save you from yourselves. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a State to run.
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:58 pm:
Is my make-up on straight? Maybe a little more arch in the eyebrows?
- Chief - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 2:59 pm:
Kirk’s replacement is right there on stage with Giddy - DOCTOR WILLIE WILSON!
IF, that is, his Presidential Campaign doesn’t pick up steam
- Anonymous - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 3:00 pm:
bubble thought
“oh, Gawwwd, but I hate these things. So plebeian. Oh, well, since I was responsible for the victory. I suppose I must show my magnificent face to these…these…people. But it IS so inconvenient….(sniff)
- Precinct Captain - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 3:41 pm:
“Where’s Kirk? Oh that’s right, he doesn’t drive through this neighborhood.”
- Rich Miller - Friday, Jul 31, 15 @ 3:42 pm:
===he doesn’t drive through this neighborhood===
Actually, he just drives really, really fast through the neighborhood.
lol