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Caption contest!

Friday, Mar 4, 2016

* Gov. Rauner is visiting another high school today…


- Posted by Rich Miller        

73 Comments
  1. - Huh? - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:53 am:

    This is what your heart would look like if you had one.


  2. - D.P.Gumby - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:53 am:

    contest over…


  3. - G'Kar - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:54 am:

    “You know students, I’m working to take the heart out of Illinois.”


  4. - Headed to the exit - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:54 am:

    Soon I’ll be holding the heart of afscme(insert maniacal laugh here).

    Another child audience.


  5. - 100 miles west - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:56 am:

    A heart! Now i just need a brain, and courage.


  6. - PublicServant - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:57 am:

    The Governator: Seniors to the Hostage line. Everyone else to the Gravy Train line…except for you corrupt Madigan-owned teachers and administrators. You just need to go away.


  7. - highspeed - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:57 am:

    They say you have to go to the hearts and minds of the populace!


  8. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:57 am:

    “I’m livin’ proof, hearts are optional”


  9. - The Muse - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:57 am:

    I normally eat these on rye.


  10. - A Modest Proposal - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:57 am:

    Madigan already knows all about the inner workings of his sheeps’ heads.


  11. - ORD - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:58 am:

    How can your school afford this? My sheep are costing me $20 million!


  12. - AC - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:58 am:

    Dissection is my specialty


  13. - Gordon Willis - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 10:59 am:

    I gutted AG Education funding….the very heart of our state economy. ..top that kids!


  14. - Henry Francis - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:00 am:

    Wearin’ a tie!


  15. - AC - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:00 am:

    Have you made plans to go to DeVry or Phoenix?


  16. - wordslinger - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:02 am:

    “So what states do you kids plan on going away to for college?”


  17. - Not A Fan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:03 am:

    “I’ve been dissectin’ hearts for over a year now”


  18. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:03 am:

    “Illinois universities are overrated anyway… “


  19. - 360 Degree TurnAround - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:09 am:

    “Let me show you how you can remove hearts with your bare hands.”


  20. - Higher Ed - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:10 am:

    Just rip it out kids. That’s what I do.


  21. - 360 Degree TurnAround - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:11 am:

    What was the sheep’s name? House Republican or Senate Republican?


  22. - morgan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:13 am:

    FakeGovRauner - “Hey, when you are done with this, can I have it? I’ve got a letter to send to a special friend and I think including this with the letter will send the message quite clearly”.


  23. - clifton yankmaster - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:14 am:

    Govern? No. I visit. That is what I do. Call me Auntie Bruce . Maybe I will make you all some muffins.


  24. - morgan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:14 am:

    The girl next to him looks to be in mid-yawn.


  25. - Cubs in '16 - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:16 am:

    “Dude! You’re in my personal space. Ewww!”


  26. - LizPhairTax - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:16 am:

    He put a tie on for this?


  27. - Beaner - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:18 am:

    Rauner interrupts a High School Biology class to explain “Executive Management.”


  28. - Team Sleep - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:18 am:

    “Mola Ram tried to grab my heart, but my reflexes were just too quick.”


  29. - aufjunk - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:19 am:

    “Didn’t wear my Car-hartts ’cause they said y’all’d be cuttin’ on them today.”


  30. - chiatty - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:19 am:

    “Nothing wrong with small hands, I’m a Republican.”


  31. - Ryan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:23 am:

    Droppi G: dissectin’, learnin’, and workin’. All without fundin’.


  32. - Daniel Plainview - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:23 am:

    You see, it’s cheaper if you outsource the circulatory system to India. Just remember to give the sheep a $20 gift card when you’re finished.


  33. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:23 am:

    Go be a Governor and stop acting like your running for office. Your elected already Governor.


  34. - jls - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:23 am:

    Have a heart Governor.
    No thanks.


  35. - Team Sleep - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:25 am:

    “You see, kids, dissecting a budget is like dissecting an animal: it stinks and is gross and only the people who can put up with the stench stick around to do the dirty work.”


  36. - Jocko - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:26 am:

    “…and my heart grew three sizes that day. It’s shriveled back up since then.”


  37. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:26 am:

    Student: You know Governor, I planned to go to Veterinary school after I graduated and I was hoping for a MAP grant to help me pay my tuition.
    Governor: Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too.


  38. - IllinoisBoi - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:26 am:

    So, you’re not planning to go to an Illinois public university, are you? No? Good for you.


  39. - My New Handle - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:28 am:

    That’s sheep heart, not Carhartt, Governor.


  40. - AC - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:28 am:

    Sheep heart with a deep yogurt sauce goes splendidly with a $100,000 bottle of red wine.


  41. - Dance Band on the Titanic - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:30 am:

    Can I borrow that? I’m one short at the moment.


  42. - Angry Chicagoan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:32 am:

    “And you just insert Madigan’s head into the machine like that and, hey presto, a budget deal!”


  43. - Huh? - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:34 am:

    This is really a wolf’s heart, the other table has the dog’s lungs.


  44. - Springfieldish - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:35 am:

    “So you slice right he….. oh class it’s Governor Rauner! Well, we certainly don’t need to teach YOU how to stick a knife in a heart!”


  45. - Rubio Marco - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:37 am:

    My hands aren’t small!


  46. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:41 am:

    Rauner to students concerning the state budget:
    “…what had happened was…”


  47. - Anon - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:42 am:

    “Iowa State University has an excellent Vet Med program. You should consider applying to an out of state college or university.”


  48. - My New Handle - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:42 am:

    That is a sheep heart, not a Carhartt, Governor.


  49. - Dutch3001 - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:43 am:

    Cool. This is the exact same thing I am doin’ to higher education in this state.


  50. - @MisterJayEm - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:44 am:

    “You still wake up sometimes, don’t you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs…”

    – MrJM


  51. - 360 Degree TurnAround - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:44 am:

    What did you guys do with the sheep’s soul? I collect those too.


  52. - sal-says - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:46 am:

    Dissect? Nah. I just squeeze the heart..and squeeze…and squeeeeze. Till nothin’ is left. See kids, nothin’ to it!


  53. - Big Joe - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:48 am:

    Don’t listen to your greedy teacher…..You don’t need a heart to live. I’m living proof of that. Now go graduate and apply to colleges out of state.


  54. - Anonymous - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:49 am:

    @ AC 11 a.m.

    Game, set, match!


  55. - olddog - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:50 am:

    Anonymous at 11:49 was me. My bad.


  56. - 360 Degree TurnAround - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:57 am:

    Kids, if your teacher wasn’t so greedy, with her pension and collectively bargained salary…your parents could give you more in allowance and stock options.


  57. - Drs - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 11:57 am:

    “Unless”


  58. - 47th Ward - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:02 pm:

    Explaining my political agenda for Illinois is a lot like dissecting a sheep. You’ll understand it better, but Illinois dies in the process.


  59. - Drs - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:07 pm:

    Did your parents make some calls to get you in this school?


  60. - Formerly Known As... - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:28 pm:

    I’m tellin’ you, my hands are bigger than Trump’s.


  61. - Formerly Known As... - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:35 pm:

    Mutton?

    I thought you said you had the heart of Madigan. We drove out here for this?


  62. - Mouthy - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:44 pm:

    High school is the new College…


  63. - Mama - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:49 pm:

    Why is he visiting so many high schools?

    Is he campaigning for future voters, or is he trying to get the kids to convince their parents to like him?


  64. - Mama - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 12:52 pm:

    I just cut the heart out of your future. No Map Grants for you kids! Now smile for me….


  65. - Bleh - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 1:04 pm:

    Caption: “I know, it sucks for the CPS kids, no school on Good Friday.”


  66. - My New Handle - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 1:06 pm:

    “‘Villains!’ I shrieked. ‘Dissemble no more! I admit the deed! Tear up the planks! Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!”


  67. - VanillaMan - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 2:02 pm:

    Brucie Had a Little State - Hale, enhanced by VanillaMan

    Brucie had a little state
    Little state, little state
    Brucie had a little state
    Its peace so bright it glowed
    And every dime that Brucie spent
    Brucie spent, Brucie spent
    And every dime that Brucie spent
    Went into his election show

    It voted him in on election day
    Election day, Election day
    It voted him in on election day
    Because Pat Quinn couldn’t rule
    Since then the voters rued that day
    Rued that day, rued that day
    Since then the voters rued that day
    When he made the state a cesspool

    And now they want to vote him out
    Vote him out, vote him out
    And now they want to vote him out
    But still he lingered near
    And waited impatiently
    Impatiently, impatiently
    And wai-aited impatiently
    His Turnaround to appear

    Brucie met a little fate
    Little fate, little fate
    Brucie met a little fate
    When he had nix to show
    So everywhere that Brucie went
    Brucie went, Brucie went
    So everywhere that Brucie went
    He stayed in Madigan’s shadow


  68. - Patrick - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 2:36 pm:

    “Here’s how we did it in my day. KALI MA! KALI MA! KALI MA!!”


  69. - Boone's is Back - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 2:40 pm:

    “And this is how I dissect Mike Madigan. I take away certain members of the black caucus and then I have my rich friends fund his opponent!”


  70. - turned around - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 3:02 pm:

    “And I can use this scalpel to ensure your teacher can’t afford to retire until she’s 85!”


  71. - Rabid - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 3:20 pm:

    Goldberg let me in on a little secret, your teachers a spy


  72. - Arthur Andersen - Friday, Mar 4, 16 @ 3:53 pm:

    “I don’t see a sheep anywhere. This class is a sham!”


  73. - Huh? - Monday, Mar 7, 16 @ 9:04 am:

    The other table was going to look for your compassion but the school doesn’t have a strong enough microscope to find it.


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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