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Caption contest!

Wednesday, Sep 5, 2018

* Kevin Solari at the Herald-News

MORRIS – Fresh off his endorsement interview with the Chicago Tribune, Grundy County States Attorney and Illinois Secretary of State Republican candidate Jason Helland criticized the media for not taking his candidacy seriously.

The Mazon resident held the meet and greet Thursday, with former gubernatorial candidate State Rep. Jeanne Ives (R-Wheaton) as special guest, at Montage Wine Bar and Spirits in downtown Morris.

“The Chicago media loves Jesse White,” Helland told the crowd of about 40 people in attendance. […]

In a post at his Capitol Fax blog on Aug. 16, Rich Miller wrote that Helland should lay off the ageism.

“You’re likely not gonna win this year, dude,” Miller wrote. “Don’t be remembered like this.”

Helland responded at Thursday’s meeting, saying that Miller was “a joke.”

* Accompanying photograph

- Posted by Rich Miller        

85 Comments
  1. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:19 am:

    “Follow us… drink the drink in front of you… free yourself to us… “


  2. - City Zen - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:20 am:

    Better Call Saul


  3. - Henry Francis - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:24 am:

    Well, he stayed away from commenting on Rich’s age.


  4. - Give Me A Break - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:24 am:

    I’ve got a better chance of growing a full head of hair then winning election.


  5. - PublicServant - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:25 am:

    That “joke” retort hadda hurt, huh Rich? I can see from the picture that Jennie liked it.


  6. - Huh? - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:27 am:

    “Miller was “a joke”

    Never under estimate the power of the CapFax.


  7. - Big Jer - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:27 am:

    The Looming Ives-ory Tower


  8. - NIU Grad - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:28 am:

    “The Winners Club”


  9. - Spliff - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:28 am:

    So I says to the trib board do these stones look like the stones of an 80 year old? Vote for me!


  10. - LakeviewJ - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:29 am:

    Aw, he had an attendee for every year he’s been alive.


  11. - Montrose - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:29 am:

    Only thing that is a bigger joke than Miller is my campaign. And maybe this tie. And my facial hair.


  12. - Jibba - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:31 am:

    “There once was a blogger named Miller…no, that’s a limerick. Lemme try that again. Three Millers walk into a bar…”


  13. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:31 am:

    Ives: “Now go home and get your shine box…..”


  14. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:33 am:

    You were great in your day, Superman. But it just stands to reason, when it came time to cash in your chips, this old… diseased… maniac would be your banker.


  15. - Grandson of Man - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:34 am:

    “Yeah, I’m gonna lose. Yeah, I’m a Chicago resentment hustler, just like Rauner and Trump. Yeah, I should lay off of someone’s age. But I have old-school photo red-eye. That’s kind of cool, right?”


  16. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:37 am:

    “Yeah, the joke is on me… I’m still waiting for a check from Rauner… “


  17. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:40 am:

    “… and thst’s the last time I picked up the phone before checking caller ID.”


  18. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:41 am:

    “Ageism? Age-Ism? Let’s talk ageism… Santa Claus… “


  19. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:45 am:

    “It’s like my favorite painting… One dog goes one way, the other dog goes the other way, and this guy’s sayin’, “Whadda ya want from me?’…”


  20. - Whatever - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:45 am:

    ==Helland responded at Thursday’s meeting, saying that Miller was “a joke.”==

    That’s Joe Miller, not Rich. What are they teaching these kids in school today?


  21. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:49 am:

    “Whats really funny is I’m on this bank job all the way in Secaucus. I’m in the middle of the weeds laying down. He comes over and says, what are you doing here? I say I’m resting. Here your resting? How come not at a beach or a bar? I say, I’m resting. He pulls me in…starts asking me all kinds of questions, you know this and that. He says, Oh uh what are you gonna tell us tough guy? My usual, zero, nothing. What am I gonna tell you you… He says, no your going to tell me something today tough guy. I say, all right I’ll tell you something… Bing Pong Boom Ping. You saw the paper Anthony, my head was out here like this. So now I’m coming around, you know, I start to come out of it. Who do I see in front of me? He says, Oh what do you want to tell me now tough guy? I says Bing, what are you still doing here? Pow Ping. Hey, I wish I was big just once.”


  22. - stlboy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:50 am:

    “look… it was a joke about Miller being a joke…can’t anyone take a joke… Jeanie gets it.”


  23. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:52 am:

    “The guy at the door tells me he won’t forget me, how can he, he won’t remember me fine minutes from now.”


  24. - The Dude Abides - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:52 am:

    I have the ability to shoot laser beams out of my eyes so folks had better watch what they say about me.


  25. - A Jack - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:54 am:

    The demonstration of a campaign going to Helland A Hand Basket.


  26. - A Jack - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:58 am:

    People were staring at my head too much, so I bought this tie.


  27. - Earnest - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:03 am:

    Rauner and Rahm’s Wine Club has nothing on what we have here in Morris.


  28. - Marseilles Mike - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:03 am:

    “I tell ya, I get no respect, I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.’


  29. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:04 am:

    “I’m smaat… not like people say, like dumb”

    (Ives laughs, crowd is silent)

    “From ‘The Godfather’… two… this is good stuff”


  30. - WhoKnew - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:07 am:

    Staring in those eyes he almost had me, till he made that Miller comment.
    Then I knew I didn’t want any of the Koolaid he’s been drinking….


  31. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:10 am:

    “So… I looked around the table… and realized I was the fool… so I’m a bit sensitive… being duped… please stop laughing at me… “


  32. - Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:16 am:

    “Ives going to Helland”


  33. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:19 am:

    “Hey… I’m not foolish or a fool… but I’m self important and bloviating… “


  34. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:20 am:

    “I can fill any room… limited to 35 people… that says a great deal… “


  35. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:20 am:

    “No, seriously, I do need a ride home… not joking…and I’m kinda hungry too, so if anyone could spot me and drive through Micky Ds….”


  36. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:22 am:

    “My campaign is so broke… it can’t afford to get people to pay attention… Jeanne get it… “


  37. - Ok - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:28 am:

    Is he from St. Louis? He looks like he is from St. Louis.


  38. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:28 am:

    “My goal wasn’t to lose to Jesse White, that’s gonna happen in spectacular fashion. No, my goal is to make myself so incredibly unlikable that I’ll never be discussed seriously again. It’s a tough hill, but I’m getting there.”


  39. - Pot calling kettle - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:31 am:

    Vote for me, I’m wearing a flag pin. What more qualifiactions do I need?


  40. - Pot calling kettle - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:32 am:

    -qualifications-


  41. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:33 am:

    “Not one of you have Rauner’s cell phone… “


  42. - That One Guy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:36 am:

    Jason Helland and his supporter at a bar drinking away their sorrows.


  43. - Streeator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:41 am:

    “So my brilliant political strategy was to criticize the only politician Illinoisans love.

    “My next genius move will be to wear a red suit and tie, with a barbed tail coming out of it to introduce my slogan, ‘Vote for HELLand. He’s a devil of a good candidate.’”


  44. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:44 am:

    “After I shot myself in the foot insulting Jesse White, I had one foot left so I insulted Rich Miller. Hey! I’m running out of appendages to shoot.”


  45. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:44 am:

    “I figure, if this is the end of my career climb, might as well burn bridges and sound foolish doing it.”


  46. - CumberlandCoHick - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:46 am:

    Settle this race with a tumbling competition. Smart money on ageless Jesse.


  47. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:48 am:

    “And if elected, I’ll give everybody the option of having creepy eyes Photoshopped onto their driver’s license photo.”


  48. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:48 am:

    My eyes!…My Eyeeees…Rich Miller threw ChinaMart weird eye dust in my eyes!!!


  49. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:53 am:

    “First I insult Jesse White. Then Rich Miller. I’m thinking about going after the Dalai Lama next.”


  50. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:56 am:

    “After I won the Anton Szandor LaVey look-alike contest, how could the media not take me seriously?”


  51. - Streator Curmudgeon - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:58 am:

    “Jeanne, can you tell me why they keep calling me the Kamikaze Candidate?”


  52. - Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 12:13 pm:

    “Who can I insult next? Anyone? Bueller?”


  53. - kj - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 12:21 pm:

    Grab the bottle from up top, we’re gonna need it


  54. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 12:28 pm:

    I’m going to be as famous as Michael Webster and Robert Enriquez.


  55. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 1:33 pm:

    The jokes on miller, I’m keeping Jesse fom retiring


  56. - I Miss Bentohs - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 1:42 pm:

    In this hand you have Rich Miller, who is a joke.
    In this hand you have Jesse White, who is an old joke.
    In this hand you have …. wait …. where is my third hand? WHERE?


  57. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 1:58 pm:

    Please clap


  58. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:07 pm:

    I’m not voting for madigan


  59. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:15 pm:

    What do I think of old people, depends


  60. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:17 pm:

    Rich Miller is a joke, bragging about his money


  61. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:19 pm:

    “I won’t be ignored or irrelevant, so I’ll be smug and overbearing, and eventually forgotten”


  62. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:27 pm:

    I will be implementing a mileage tax after I’m elected


  63. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:35 pm:

    Jesse had a tully monster for a pet


  64. - AlfondoGonz - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 2:36 pm:

    Jason Helland shows stands out from the crowd of bald men by growing a goatee.

    Wait.


  65. - Reformed Public Servant - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 3:15 pm:

    and on the other hand … whether he said it or not, it’s getting him attention on CapFax. Touche!


  66. - Arthur Andersen - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 4:44 pm:

    “I sold cantaloupes at the Eagle in Morris this big”


  67. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 5:18 pm:

    He looks like a guy who sings “Shannon” at dog funerals.

    A new GOP low.


  68. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 5:22 pm:

    “I’m a nobody right now… I’ll be a nobody after November. Sometimes life choices are mistakes”


  69. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 5:22 pm:

    I bet he used to sell coupon books.


  70. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 5:24 pm:

    He borrowed that suit, didn’t he?


  71. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 5:26 pm:

    Lucky Pierre found a friend who share his interest in collecting string.


  72. - Billinois - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 7:17 pm:

    When I’m Secretary of State I’ll solve all the problems with North Korea and the Middle East. Right, Jeanne?


  73. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 7:18 pm:

    –A new GOP low.–

    Look east, my friend.


  74. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 10:31 pm:

    I don’t get no respect, even my yoyo don’t come back


  75. - Rabid - Wednesday, Sep 5, 18 @ 11:07 pm:

    Electric cars are free riders


  76. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 1:42 am:

    This is how I held Jesse’s behind


  77. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 6:45 am:

    States attorney got snookered out of attorney general spot


  78. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 6:48 am:

    Pride of grundy has an open mind, his brains fell out


  79. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 6:51 am:

    Springfield maven makes me see red


  80. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 6:53 am:

    White whine club


  81. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 7:00 am:

    I’m airborne too, I’m Rauners wingman


  82. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 7:04 am:

    Don’t open your eyes under lake Dresden


  83. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 7:18 am:

    Vote for the future of a five year old


  84. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 7:40 am:

    I’m SOS material, I keep my campaign in a Nike shoe box


  85. - Rabid - Thursday, Sep 6, 18 @ 8:05 am:

    Let me remove all doubt


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