“Yeah, that’s me, being sworn into the Illinois Senate, the next oath I’ll take… that’ll be on the stand in federal court. Federal court? Yeah, you heard right, but, let’s start from the beginning, with a truck and Bruce Rauner”
Your Honor, may I ask the court’s permission to purchase a one-way ticket to Greece. My friend Frankie Kollintzas of the infamous Sidewalks-for-Votes scandal in East Chicago,
Indiana is looking to add drivers to his taxi fleet.
Since I have experience driving multiple vehicles, Frankie assured me that I would have a job. Frankie was looking at eleven years in the slammer and huge fines.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:49 pm:
“I plead the 5th”
- random - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:50 pm:
“Question…Can I rent the car from myself and pay with campaign funds?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:50 pm:
“I solemnly swear, I’m up to no good”
- Sensitive Nancy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:50 pm:
“Your honor, what had happened was…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:50 pm:
“It was me. I fought the law, and the law won”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:51 pm:
“I will, your honor. I’ll take a plea… “
- zatoichi - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:52 pm:
Scout’s honor.
- Grimlock - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:52 pm:
“Can I still say because Madigan?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:52 pm:
“Your Honor, I have a question. I was unaware I could be indicted, I was told there would be no math”
- Socially DIstant watcher - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:53 pm:
“This is how I signal a left turn, until I can get the ol RV back to my friendly neighborhood mechanic”
- Keyrock - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:53 pm:
And you may ask yourself, “How do I work this?”
- Not again - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:53 pm:
I do solemnly swear to never upset Murphy again.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:53 pm:
“Question. If I’m out on bail, your Honor, can I use the pickup as an Uber, or no?”
- bhartbanjo - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:53 pm:
“I solemnly swear my other fingers are crossed”
- Friendly Bob Adams - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:54 pm:
Cross my heart and hope to die, I was just hangin’ out with the other guys….
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:55 pm:
“Sorry. Me again. I can charge mileage for that Uber thing or is that a no-no too with this whole bail thingy?”
- OneMan - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:58 pm:
Anyone know who has an F150 parked outside it has it’s lights on.
- OneMan - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:58 pm:
Anyone know who has an F150 parked outside it has it’s lights on.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:58 pm:
(Record screeches to a halt)
“Yeah, that’s me, being sworn into the Illinois Senate, the next oath I’ll take… that’ll be on the stand in federal court. Federal court? Yeah, you heard right, but, let’s start from the beginning, with a truck and Bruce Rauner”
(Cut to black, credits, music)
- @misterjayem - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:58 pm:
“Ok, Sam… Now, what’s in your other hand?”
– MrJM
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 2:59 pm:
“I am Spartacus”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:01 pm:
“I ordered no Mayo…”
- PublicServant - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:03 pm:
=== “I plead the 5th” ===
And make it Woodford Reserve Bourbon, Please.
- ChicagoKid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:04 pm:
“Yeah, I rented to myself. Get used to it, brother.”
- Grandson of Man - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:07 pm:
I swear, that pick up truck I used in my commercial was paid for legally.
- RNUG - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:08 pm:
Your honor, can we plea bargain most of this away?
- Not the Dude - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:09 pm:
Green eggs and ham? I do not like them Sam-I-am.
- Chatham Resident - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:09 pm:
“If only that MacArthur Extension was never built.”
(Snark intended because I use that road to/from work, plus it needs to be finished to Woodside Road).
- Ron Burgundy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:12 pm:
Now put the other hand up.
- don the legend - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:18 pm:
“Wave bye bye.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:18 pm:
“Now your right hand, nice slow, behind your back”
(Cuff clicks)
- Pizza Man - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:20 pm:
Sheriff: “So who would like to go to Stateville Correctional Center??”
“Me!” says…Sam-I-Am
- Illinois Politics - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:25 pm:
Geez, I’m gonna be in the minority again outnumbered by Illinois Dems in prison.
- Ducky LaMoore - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:27 pm:
“No really, I’m the next John McCain, I solemnly swear.”
- Rudy’s teeth - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:27 pm:
Your Honor, may I ask the court’s permission to purchase a one-way ticket to Greece. My friend Frankie Kollintzas of the infamous Sidewalks-for-Votes scandal in East Chicago,
Indiana is looking to add drivers to his taxi fleet.
Since I have experience driving multiple vehicles, Frankie assured me that I would have a job. Frankie was looking at eleven years in the slammer and huge fines.
With the court’s permission, of course.
- Ducky LaMoore - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:32 pm:
“He’s talking pig Latin, I don’t know what he’s saying.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CdZOFuWWT4
- Rabid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:38 pm:
Talk to the hand
- don the legend - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:38 pm:
“I solemnly swear to uphold the laws of the State of Ill…… awwww forget it, who am I kidding.”
- Rabid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:39 pm:
It was hamburger helpers fault
- Rabid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:40 pm:
Got me a five finger discount
- 40000 ft - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:42 pm:
“I swear I didn’t do anything much different than Auditor General Mautino.”
- Rabid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:43 pm:
High five
- Rabid - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:44 pm:
Stop me if you heard this before
- NorthsideNoMore - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:52 pm:
Alright ! Who abused their campaign account ?
- Ducky LaMoore - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:55 pm:
“Your honor, I have Republican ideals. Why would I commit a crime when there are so many legal ways to be dishonest?”
- Third Reading - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:57 pm:
Yur honor, it’s true.
The F-250 is one sweeeeet truck.
- Pizza Man - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 3:58 pm:
Sam McCann: “Um, any possibility of a retroactive Trump pardon?” Just sayin’…..
- Dance Band on the Titanic - Friday, Feb 5, 21 @ 4:01 pm:
“Sorry folks, park’s closed. The moose out front should have told you.”