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Caption contest!

Friday, Sep 23, 2022 - Posted by Rich Miller

* Dan Proft’s People Who Play by the Rules PAC is now sending books to voters. The author is fellow Florida resident Dennis Byrne…


       

74 Comments
  1. - Rabid - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:05 pm:

    Dailey herald vendor


  2. - So_Ill - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:06 pm:

    Can this Proft guy just go away for good?


  3. - Roadrager - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:07 pm:

    Congrats to Dan Proft on this exciting new frontier in setting Dick Uihlein’s money on fire. Maybe next month he can mail out DVD box sets of his PAC’s campaign ads.

    Anyway, now seems like a good time to list some of Dennis Byrne’s greatest hits. I’ll start with “It’s 2020, and Florida is handling the COVID pandemic so much better than Illinois, because I am able to sit indoors at a restaurant and eat a pizookie.”


  4. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:07 pm:

    Proft Lacks Pithy


  5. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:07 pm:

    “It reads like stereo instructions”


  6. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:08 pm:

    At least IPI saved us all the reading grief and produced a movie.

    And we didn’t even need to watch it


  7. - Ron Burgundy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:11 pm:

    With JB’s face on it, some of the intended recipients might just reflexively burn it rather than read it.


  8. - Dunwich Snorer - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:13 pm:

    Know your demographic! Should have been a large print edition.


  9. - Back to the Future - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:14 pm:

    With ideas like this the Gov is going to win in a landslide.


  10. - Pundent - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:15 pm:

    Proft’s “newspapers” always went right into the trash and the book would get the same treatment. It’s abundantly clear that this isn’t about winning elections. It’s a strategy to get people to part with money by creating multiple outlets to air shared grievances.


  11. - Big Dipper - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:16 pm:

    Byrne’s columns were so goofy they made Kass seem like a sage.


  12. - Jerry - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:16 pm:

    Would it make a good door stop?


  13. - oops - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:16 pm:

    There’s a paper shortage and they’re wasting paper on this.


  14. - vern - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:16 pm:

    I guess we’re lucky that Proft’s buddy is a writer instead of a sculptor. Every voter would be getting a life size bronze statue of Proft holding a Fire Pritzker sign.


  15. - Donnie Elgin - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:17 pm:

    “With JB’s face on it, some of the intended recipients might just reflexively burn it rather than read it”

    Proft is likely skipping the most loyal hard R voters. My guess is he’s targeting those who may jump between R/D in the primary.


  16. - JS Mill - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:17 pm:

    So they run away to Florida and still can’t quit JB?

    “JB, Lives in my head for free”

    “JB, modern day rasputin”


  17. - froganon - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:18 pm:

    The Governor we don’t know is still a million times better than Darren Bailey. What dreck (banned punctuation and emojis)


  18. - DHS Drone - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:20 pm:

    “Will it blend?”


  19. - Huh? - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:22 pm:

    This is a once in a life time opportunity to learn about JB Pritzker and his plans for Illinois. This book is hot off the presses, just in time for the November election. For a small cost of $39.95, you can own this marvelous and informative book that lays bare the never disclosed and nefarious plans of the governor. These plans are so secret that printing had to be done at an undisclosed location for fear that the government would attempt to confiscate the books. But we have them just for you.

    If you are among the first 100 callers, we will give you a complementary second copy of this book to share with your friends and family. In addition to the complementary copy of the book, we will send you a fantastic gift worth over $75. This is a limited time offer, valid until midnight tonight. So call right now and order your special copy of this informative book. Have your credit card ready when you call. We have operators standing by to take your order.


  20. - Henry Francis - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:23 pm:

    From the people who want to ban offensive books, here is a book that should offend sensible people.


  21. - Dance Band on the Titanic - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:24 pm:

    The fact the Proft and Byrne are still completely obsessed with Pritzker instead of lounging on a beautiful Florida beach tells you something about their mental state.


  22. - Steve Polite - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:25 pm:

    Byrne (maybe): “I grifted the grifter, when I sold my books to Proft’s PAC.”


  23. - Friendly Bob Adams - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:25 pm:

    Big Dipper- correct on Byrne’s bona fides. It seems he got kookier every year.


  24. - Jerry - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:25 pm:

    @huh: does it come with the Ginsu knives?


  25. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:26 pm:

    “English Only”


  26. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:28 pm:

    The Proft Manifesto


  27. - A Well-Regulated Commenter - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:29 pm:

    “We grift by word count!”


  28. - Nathan - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:30 pm:

    I wish I had that much money to waste.


  29. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:30 pm:

    Gotta be honest, thought his audience preferred coloring books, pop-up books, “what does the chicken say” books

    Not “word” books.


  30. - Ron Burgundy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:32 pm:

    -Not “word” books.-

    They tried a “Darren Bailey: Down on the Farm” Scratch and Sniff book, but it caused a HazMat situation at the post office.


  31. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:32 pm:

    “I started in fictional newspapers, moved on to fiction books, and fingers crossed Uihlein will fund my fiction movie too”


  32. - Facts Matter - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:32 pm:

    Who printed the book?


  33. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:33 pm:

    Cliff’s Notes version… is one page, one word

    “Phony”


  34. - Louis G Atsaves - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:34 pm:

    Pritzker branding this book as slander and all lies and attacking the printer in 3, 2, 1.


  35. - Norseman - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:35 pm:

    Examples of expensive and useless campaign activities in the new book, Conning Candidates Out of Money for Dummies.


  36. - Big Dipper - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:36 pm:

    Do better, Louis.


  37. - Old time Independent - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:37 pm:

    It’s very similar to the book he had Chris Clevland put out against Bruce Rauner in the primary against Ives. The far right nut jobs eat that stuff up.


  38. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:39 pm:

    At least “Dad’s Home State” was always promoted as a fictional comedy


  39. - Nuke The Whales - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:40 pm:

    1. Conservatives and moderates no longer welcome!
    2. Crime Will Get Even Worse When Bailey Gives Everyone a Gun, Cuts Social Services, And Let’s Criminals Buy Their Way Out of Jail!
    3. Darren Bailey’s War on COVID Mitigations and How He’ll Make Sure the Next Pandemic Kills Your Kid!
    4. Darren Bailey Is Your Real Boss, if you’re a migrant farm worker on the Bailey Family Farm and being used to undercut American Workers. Remember, migrant labor are only bad when Ron DeSantis is owning the libz!
    5. We Don’t Have an Economic Plan Because We’re Too Busy Bullying Transgender Children and Creating Drag Queen Registries.
    6. Welfare for Me, but Not for Thee: How Bailey Family Farm Gets YOUR Tax Dollars and Provides Nothing in Return.
    7. Character is Supposed to Count.
    8. Your Taxes Will Prosecute a Fifteen Year Old Who Can’t Prove Her Miscarriage Wasn’t An Abortion.
    9. What does Darren Bailey Have in Mind for You and Your Family If He Is Re-elected? It’s Not Just Odd Capitalizations That Are In Your Future.

    I can even steal some of the chapter names. It’s a shame I can’t con a billionaire to let me write propoganda.


  40. - MisterJayEm - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:41 pm:

    “Dan Proft’s People Who Play by the Rules PAC is now sending books to voters.”

    Do they come with crayons?

    – MrJM


  41. - NIU Grad - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:44 pm:

    Nothing says “working mans party” like burning millions of dollars on stuff like this…


  42. - Mike K - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:45 pm:

    Curmudgeons gotta curmudge.


  43. - don the legend - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:48 pm:

    “And they thought $35 million was a bad use of campaign money.”


  44. - Jocko - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:51 pm:

    ‘My Struggle (to spend all Uihlien’s money)’ by Dennis Byrne.


  45. - Henry Francis - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:52 pm:

    Interesting that the author describes himself as “former opinion columnist for the Chicago Sun Times”. Not the Tribune?


  46. - H-W - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 1:59 pm:

    Imagine if Illinoisans spent as much time trying to influence the politics of Florida as Floridians seem to be investing in an attempt to influence politics in Illinois. Some might call it, dare I say, a delusional, personality disorder.


  47. - Huh? - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:01 pm:

    But wait there’s more. If you call right now, in addion to the complementary copy of this one of a kind book telling you of Pritzker’s plans to distroy the State of Illinois, we will give you a 15 piece set of the last knives you will ever own, the fabulous Ginsu knife set.


  48. - Moe Berg - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:06 pm:

    Any chance Paddock printed it?

    Reminds me of “A Texan Looks at Lyndon: A Study in Illegitimate Power” - and likely to be as successful in preventing JB’s relection at that book was at defeating LBJ.

    According to Texas Monthly: “…the 254-page self-published paperback–Haley says no publishing house would touch it–portrayed Johnson as a vain and vicious man whose climb to the presidency was wrought with malevolence on every rung of the ladder.”

    Everything old is new again. Remarkable how the dangerous, fringe views of the 1960s GOP are now its mainstream.


  49. - Walker - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:07 pm:

    I like people enjoying their retirement


  50. - Benjamin - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:08 pm:

    I like that the cover image of Pritzker they chose shows him smiling in sunlight. Like, they can’t even find one printable picture that makes him seem threatening or dangerous.


  51. - New Day - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:15 pm:

    “Byrne’s columns were so goofy they made Kass seem like a sage.”

    Bingo. As to the book, oh boy I hope I get one of these. I’m on some R lists so maybe I will but since Dan blocked me years ago, probably not. Oh well.


  52. - New Day - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:19 pm:

    Why didn’t they pick a more sinister pic? It’s a happy JB pic and nicely designed so the cover makes it look like a pro-JB book. At first I didn’t even notice the word “NOT”. Given that JB likes to send out long format campaign pieces at times, people will assume it’s a happy piece and not bother to read all the evil things JB has in mind.


  53. - JS Mill - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:21 pm:

    After Losing by 30 plus points…

    Bailey branding this election as fraudulent and all lies and attacking the printer in 3, 2, 1.


  54. - Blue Dog - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:23 pm:

    chapter 10. pritzker says inflation is transitory and prepare economy for a soft landing.


  55. - Grandson of Man - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:23 pm:

    Written in collaboration with D’Souza, and Todd and Joe Ricketts, with a foreword from the QAnon Shaman himself.


  56. - vern - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:24 pm:

    === they can’t even find one printable picture that makes him seem threatening or dangerous. ===

    Honestly they should’ve just written it up as pro-Pritzker. Asking voters to read an entire book is so annoying that some may have voted against Pritzker for it.


  57. - Socially DIstant Watcher - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:26 pm:

    Why does Proft hate trees so much? Does Dick Uihlein need to see paper that badly?


  58. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:31 pm:

    So, I pick up the syllabus for PolSci 411, “Propaganda and Grifting in America” and I realized I have one of the books, pamphlet I guess, as required reading…


  59. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:33 pm:

    “The trick was to fool folks into thinking there was nine ways to say one thing, without hinting to them they’re rubes.

    We think we nailed it”


  60. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:35 pm:

    “Normally I’d write this as a funding tool, really soak the sheep as I like to say back at the shop, but Uihlein makes things so comfortable for you, Dan, it was hard to close this without that direct money appeal”


  61. - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:36 pm:

    Lemme guess. Pritzker’s real name is Lamont Cranston.


  62. - We’ll See - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:36 pm:

    Chapter 9’s capital “If He’s Re-elected” must have JB’s hippie campaign staff shaking in their Birkenstocks.


  63. - Original Rambler - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:37 pm:

    Why do so many relocated Illinoisans living in Florida feel the need to keep inserting themselves into the affairs of the State they left? It’s not like Florida does not have its own set of troubles. Boggles my mind.


  64. - Streator Curmudgeon - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:39 pm:

    Wouldn’t it be a swell world if guys like Proft sponsored medical students instead of lighting their dough on fire with dreck like this?


  65. - Steve - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:42 pm:

    -Gotta be honest, thought his audience preferred coloring books-

    Not everyone can get an 800 on the English SAT . I hear all CPS schools achieve that.


  66. - Responsa - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:47 pm:

    At least no one’s claiming they lightened the photo.


  67. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 2:48 pm:

    === I hear all CPS schools achieve that===

    I have no idea what that means, and given that rural districts aren’t leading the pack like, say a New Trier, I’d hate to think you are deciding making it about the troubles of minority students in CPS.

    It might be on brand for you but it makes all the mocking here a lil more biting too.

    Caption?

    “It’s a chapter book so maybe we can use for book club after we finish ‘The War of Northern Aggression’…”


  68. - Bruce( no not him) - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 3:24 pm:

    Are there pictures? Or are you forced to actually read.
    I don’t want to have to think about my vote./S


  69. - JS Mill - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 4:09 pm:

    =I have no idea what that means, and given that rural districts aren’t leading the pack like, say a New Trier, I’d hate to think you are deciding making it about the troubles of minority students in CPS.=

    Easy on rural schools, we are trying. The reality is, it isn’t about color, it is about poverty and then there are degrees. Ruby Payne has done some really excellent work in this area.

    With respect.

    =“It’s a chapter book so maybe we can use for book club after we finish ‘The War of Northern Aggression’…”=

    Winner.


  70. - Grandson of Man - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 4:10 pm:

    The book met the recycle trashcan post-haste.


  71. - NewHere2022 - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 4:13 pm:

    “Know your demographic! Should have been a large print edition.”

    Or make it an audio book… for those that have trouble with the big words.


  72. - Proud Sucker - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 4:14 pm:

    “Not everyone can get an 800 on the English SAT . I hear all CPS schools achieve that.”

    No not all. This CPS grad only scored 560 on the verbal skills. I did get 720 on math though oh, and this was back in the 80s.


  73. - Oswego Willy - Friday, Sep 23, 22 @ 4:16 pm:

    === Easy on rural schools, we are trying.===

    That is truly my bad. Sincere apologies, point taken.

    Be well, and thanks.

    OW


  74. - elaobserver - Tuesday, Sep 27, 22 @ 11:08 pm:

    “Why is this man smiling?” (Seriously, surely there are ugly pics of JB out there.)


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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