I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with state powers
Pointin’ who’s to blame
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my plots were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
A place where there isn’t any trouble? Do you suppose there is such a place? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind my ear, beyond the Moon…
Somewhere over the rainbow
Beyond this morass,
There’s a land that I heard of
Often in pol-sci class.
Somehow over the rainbow
Where pigs flew,
No more poor, and no more criminals
The wealthy pay their due.
Someday we’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where reality is far
Behind us.
Where our budgets never feel a chop
Social programs never stop
Taxes increase without a fuss.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Classes see eye-to-eye.
When pigs fly over the rainbow.
Why can’t we even try?
When happy little piglets fly
Beyond the rainbow
Our budget could be balance by July!
“Gosh, that’s a good question …I guess I would be a daffadil … I’n not really a ‘rose’ … maybe a daisey …daisies are bright and full of fun and sunshine, like me … ”
So there we were on Ceti Alpha V and Khan is putting this big bug thing in Quinn’s ear and says, “You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and…” I’m sorry, what was the question again?
- Dan S, a taxpayer and a Cubs Fan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:21 pm:
“Wait, slow down … start over … Luke is really Darth Vader’s son, and Darth Vader’s REAL name is Anakin Skywalker, and Princess Leia is Luke’s sister, AND Darth Vader’s daughter … and even though Luke and Leia kissed in the 4th movie, they didn’t know they were brother and sister … but, wait… that 4th movie was made … 1st … even though the movie is 4th in the STORY???? …This is crazy … you sure?….”
“Yeah, I guess I don’t get that too … so ALL those people that were on Lost were dead the entire time, they just didn’t KNOW they were dead, because …. why? …. I wasted years on this show … so they’re dead… that is what you are telling me … I dunno …lemme think about it for a minute, now I am all confused…”
“Ok, let me get this straight. Pat was Rod’s running mate, he’s making Illinois the US version of Greece and I still couldn’t win. Do you think I should try another business?”
Notice that my hair is a distinguished grey, and my sideburns are cut neatly across. That connotes trustworthiness. Not like somebody else we all know.
- Name Withheld - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:40 am:
Dan Hynes - What’s He Thinking?
- doubled - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:40 am:
So since I lost to that one idiot I guess that makes me…NO!
- unclesam - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:42 am:
So… I guess I really did win by losing the primary. Huh!
- one day at a time - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:43 am:
Bills?…Bills you say?? ….We’ve got a lot of stinking bills just don’t have enough money to pay them!
- Vote Quimby! - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:44 am:
Why doesn’t anybody want to see MY tax returns?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:47 am:
Wonder if I hadn’t ran the ‘ Harold Washington ‘ ad if it might have came out differently ?
- Way Way Down Here - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:48 am:
Nobody move or the Comptroller gets it.
- Amalia - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:50 am:
If I only had a personality….
- wordslinger - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:51 am:
“Is it CONtroller or COMPtroller? I can never remember.”
- Behind The Scenes - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:55 am:
…and this is my left ear.
- Rich Miller - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:57 am:
“I’ll never buy a Ford again. Never.”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 11:57 am:
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with state powers
Pointin’ who’s to blame
And my head I’d be scratchin’
While my plots were busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
- Belle - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:01 pm:
So I lost to Quinn, at least I have hair! Really, it’s right here.
- zatoichi - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:04 pm:
Too much grey?
- Montrose - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:07 pm:
Well maybe that shiny quarter magically appeared right behind my…darn it..not there..guess you don’t get paid.
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:09 pm:
As Comptroller I must aver,
We are a deadbeat debtor,
and this state’s not only merely broke,
it’s really most sincerely broke.
- Ghost - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:11 pm:
…and they noticed he had a hook for a hand!
- Alex Keefe - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:14 pm:
Yeah, my navel didn’t hurt so much, but when they pierced up here it KILLED.
- 47th Ward - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:16 pm:
But the voters went with Quinn, which is a shame, because now my secret plan to get us out of this mess will stay locked away right up here.
- Stones - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:18 pm:
“Spock had the ears but I have the widsom”
- Finger Pointing - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:20 pm:
How did I lose to guy who doesn’t even have a campaign?
- Pickles!! - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:30 pm:
“Duh, gee Tennessee…”
- VanillaMan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:31 pm:
A place where there isn’t any trouble? Do you suppose there is such a place? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind my ear, beyond the Moon…
Somewhere over the rainbow
Beyond this morass,
There’s a land that I heard of
Often in pol-sci class.
Somehow over the rainbow
Where pigs flew,
No more poor, and no more criminals
The wealthy pay their due.
Someday we’ll wish upon a star
And wake up where reality is far
Behind us.
Where our budgets never feel a chop
Social programs never stop
Taxes increase without a fuss.
Somewhere over the rainbow
Classes see eye-to-eye.
When pigs fly over the rainbow.
Why can’t we even try?
When happy little piglets fly
Beyond the rainbow
Our budget could be balance by July!
- lincolnlover - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:35 pm:
And then the aliens put this long, pokey thing right here and it really hurt!
- Deep South - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:41 pm:
Gee…I wonder if I’ve misremembered anything.
- WRMNpolitics - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:43 pm:
I though I thaw a puddy cat. I did! I did see a puddy cat!
- just sayin' - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:47 pm:
Can’t think of a decent caption. But it dawned on me that’s someone else’s arm. It’s a darker suit. Opens up other possibilities. Just sayin’.
- in absentia - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 12:53 pm:
…guess I’ll take’s Judy’s spot in the penalty box.
- Heartless Libertarian - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:08 pm:
P…O…T…A…T…O……E
- Dooley Dudright - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:09 pm:
“Yes, I’m already at work on my memoirs. The title? How to Divide a Nickel Seven Ways .”
- Anon - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:12 pm:
We have jurisdiction over cemeteries?
- siriusly - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:14 pm:
The microchip goes right there.
- IrishPirate - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:31 pm:
Assistant to Comptroller Hynes points out where the surgeons intend to transplant the personality.
- Ahoy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:36 pm:
Dan Hynes channels his inner primate.
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:48 pm:
“I’m the Comptroller, Pat, and I was stepped over!”
“It’s the way the voters wanted it, you lost…”
“It ain’t the way I wanted it! I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!”
- Steve - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:52 pm:
“The Democratic Party is my shepherd, it has plans for me, in the shadow of the valley of Moody’s downgrades.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:53 pm:
“Gosh, that’s a good question …I guess I would be a daffadil … I’n not really a ‘rose’ … maybe a daisey …daisies are bright and full of fun and sunshine, like me … ”
“How about a Lily?”
“No … not a …hey!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 1:57 pm:
“Ok, lemme start again … Pierre in Center, Ramirez at Short, Rios in Center, Konerko at First … who the heck is hitting 5th?…”
- Fed Up - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:00 pm:
Hey that’s not my hand! Where are you going with that finger?
- South Side Mike - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:05 pm:
“I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t….I mean s-m-A-r-t.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:05 pm:
“See that grey in the temples… wanna know what that means … I may have been born at night, just not last night, Bub …”
- "Old Timer Dem" - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:08 pm:
Can I phone my Dad before I respond to your question?
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:10 pm:
Haha is that picture photo-shopped?
- dupage dan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:12 pm:
Just so’s I won’t be censored, the following came from the Firesign Theater “Don’t Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me The Pliers” -
“Don’t point that finger at me, Daddio, or I’ll cut it off!”
Wow, that explanation was longer than the bit.
A little too far to go for far too little.
- anon - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:17 pm:
So there we were on Ceti Alpha V and Khan is putting this big bug thing in Quinn’s ear and says, “You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness and…” I’m sorry, what was the question again?
- Dan S, a taxpayer and a Cubs Fan - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:21 pm:
Look….. a kitty!
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:34 pm:
“Wait, slow down … start over … Luke is really Darth Vader’s son, and Darth Vader’s REAL name is Anakin Skywalker, and Princess Leia is Luke’s sister, AND Darth Vader’s daughter … and even though Luke and Leia kissed in the 4th movie, they didn’t know they were brother and sister … but, wait… that 4th movie was made … 1st … even though the movie is 4th in the STORY???? …This is crazy … you sure?….”
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:42 pm:
“Good relations with the Wookies, I have.”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:46 pm:
“You mean to tell me I get not 2, but 4 Snuggies, the bendable reading light, a $20 dollar value, AND you will DOUBLE my order if I order right now?”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 2:52 pm:
“Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes …
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes …
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose …
Head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes!”
- Oswego Willy - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 3:03 pm:
“Yeah, I guess I don’t get that too … so ALL those people that were on Lost were dead the entire time, they just didn’t KNOW they were dead, because …. why? …. I wasted years on this show … so they’re dead… that is what you are telling me … I dunno …lemme think about it for a minute, now I am all confused…”
- Chicago Cynic - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 3:50 pm:
“Ok, let me get this straight. Pat was Rod’s running mate, he’s making Illinois the US version of Greece and I still couldn’t win. Do you think I should try another business?”
- MrJM - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 3:57 pm:
HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!
HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!
HeadOn! Apply directly to the forehead!
– MrJM
- Cheswick - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 4:32 pm:
I was once a little teapot, then I wasn’t, then I was again.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 4:50 pm:
“You are not. I am, because I wasn’t before I was and before you is!”
- Quizzical - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 6:00 pm:
Notice that my hair is a distinguished grey, and my sideburns are cut neatly across. That connotes trustworthiness. Not like somebody else we all know.
- bwana - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 6:26 pm:
geesh Gannon told me I had the Union support
- siyotanka - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 7:33 pm:
If I touch my ear here…it means pay some bills…If I touch it here it means we are out of money…Got it?
- Hawkeye - Tuesday, Jun 8, 10 @ 7:37 pm:
In the words of Ray Barone, “There’s not much going on up here.”