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Question of the day
Thursday, Oct 28, 2010 - Posted by Rich Miller * A reader had a good idea after I posted yesterday’s piece about Gov. Pat Quinn saying Bill Brady would rather that gay people “not exist.” His comment…
* The Question: Fill in the blanks with a slogan that best surmises a major Illinois campaign this year: “Vote for _____ or ____________.” As always, keep it clean. Snark is heavily encouraged, of course.
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- Southern Illinois Democrat - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:12 pm:
your puppy will die.
- Southern Illinois Democrat - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:13 pm:
me or your puppy will die. sorry for the missed words.
- A.B. - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:15 pm:
me or your income taxes go up, they unionize your job and your new neighbors will be early release felons.
- Davey Boy Smithe - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:16 pm:
me or the Cubs will win the World Series.
- We Todd Did - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:19 pm:
Vote for Scott Lee Cohen or he will have spend $6,000,000 for nothing.
- OneMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:20 pm:
me or every single state vendor who is owed money will be given your phone number as the guy they need to call
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:21 pm:
Quinn, Oh, look a pony
- Rod sez I'm pork - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:21 pm:
Pat Quinn or not
- Skeeter - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:22 pm:
Vote for Joe Berrios or all his friends and family will shift from getting public money for “work” to getting public money as unemployment.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:22 pm:
Plummer “Vote for me, or I will have to learn what lumber is really used for!”
Quinn “Vote for me or I will modify the IL Constitution to reduce YOUR household numbers by 1/3″
Steve Kim “Vote for me, or … vote for Lisa … whatever …”
Alexi “Vote for me, or President Obama will have to find another power forward on ‘POTUS’ Pivots’ ”
Brady “Vote for me, or I will kiss Rickey Hendon”
- I don't want to live in Teabagistan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:22 pm:
Mark Kirk or I will throw all my war medals into the Potomac River
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:23 pm:
Bill Brady will win which will begin the imploding of the universe as all matter begins to be sucked into his empty suit continually collapsing upon itself thereby destroying all forms of life unacceptable to the grand master but still allowing the chosen ones to be warped into his brain where they will reside in his frontal cranium so they can continually worship with their chosen leader, Dan Quayle, who presides over all cerebral activity.
- John Bambenek - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:28 pm:
“Vote against Kilbride or the pedophiles will rejoice!”
- OneMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:28 pm:
Alexi or else he will find another FDIC insured bank to work for
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:29 pm:
“Vote for Rich Whitney or Illinois two-party system will not somehow be magically reformed by your impotent protest vote.”
– MrJM
- Arctic - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:29 pm:
Scott Lee Cohen or those two boobs will pawn the state to Kentucky.
- JN - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:31 pm:
Vote down Kilbride or you gonna get loved tenderly, again.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:31 pm:
Cohen “Vote for me, or the only way you will get rid of me is by a restraining order … um …er … which I have no idea what that is like”
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:31 pm:
Vote for me or I will lose my bet with Rich Miller, which would force me to read every one of his columns published this month. Really. You don’t know how much I hate to read. - Alexi Giannoulias
- South of Sherman - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:32 pm:
Vote for Alexi — or his buddy Jaws will be in a bad mood, with a lot of time on his hands
Vote for Kirk — or a lot of Chinese workers will go hungry
Vote for Quinn — or you won’t be able to tell your boss, “You think I’m incompetent? Have you seen our governor?”
Vote for Brady — or women will start thinking you don’t actually control their uteruses (or is that uteri?)
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:32 pm:
“Vote for Rahm Emanuel or participate in this year’s election campaign.”
– MrJM
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:34 pm:
Vote for me or Moms gonna ground me. - Jay Jay Plummer’
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:35 pm:
Be careful with that VanillaMan …
- Whatever - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:36 pm:
Vote for Mark Kirk or he’ll lie and say you did.
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:36 pm:
“Vote for Lisa Madigan… or not. Either way she will roll to victory like a tank battalion through a Girl Scout camp.”
– MrJM
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:36 pm:
“Vote for Lisa Madigan… or not. Either way she will roll to victory like a tank battalion through a Girl Scout camp.”
– MrJM
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:36 pm:
Vote for me or I’m cranking up this amp on my banjo!
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:37 pm:
Halverson “Vote for me, or Nancy Pelosi won’t be Speaker of the House …wait …lemme try again …”
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:37 pm:
“Vote for me or I’ll double-post again!”
– MrJM
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:38 pm:
Vote for Bill Brady or Haley Barber, Bobby Jindal and a bunch of other twangers won’t get to run our State, ya all.
- Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:40 pm:
Vote for Patrick Ryan or . . . oh, nevermind.
- OneMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:41 pm:
for Pat Quinn or the high speed rail will only go down to St. Louis, not back
for Pat Quinn or he have time to swing by your house and talk to you, for hours and hours
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:43 pm:
Alexi or Kirk … take ‘yer’ pick … “Vote for me, or I might run for an office that will keep me in Illinois”
- JCIII - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:44 pm:
Vote for me or your creepy neighbor gets an assault rifle.
- Give Me A Break - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:46 pm:
Vote for me or I will end up as the November 3rd Question of The Day on Cap. Fax.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:46 pm:
Peraica “Vote for me … or … or … I will storm the Board of Elections and cry ‘Foul, Foul … the people are not heard!’ … Oh, I can’t do that again? … Really?”
- OneMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:48 pm:
me or I will keep running my commercials after election day.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:52 pm:
Vote for me or I’ll become a DC lobbyist for that new-fangled Betamax TV contraption. - Phil Hare
Vote for me or I’ll be stuck at home with my 10 kids! - Bobby Schilling
Vote for me or I’ll tell my dad! - Lil Lip
Vote for me or all Old Betsy is gonna hold is yesterday’s tomatoes! - Governor Quinn
Vote for me or I’m taking off my shirt! - Phil Hare
Vote for me or I’m gonna cut her! - Cohen
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:52 pm:
Jesse Jr., “Vote for me, or I will have to stay in Chicago and REALLY face the music at home”
- polisciguy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:55 pm:
“Vote for me or I’ll…what do you mean I’m not on the ballot?” - Roland Burris
- Pat Robertson - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:55 pm:
PQ: Vote for me or Tinker Bell will cease to exist! [aside to staffer] Whaddaya mean, “not that kinda fairy?” You mean those [politically incorrect word deleted]? Whaddaya mean, this mike is still on?
Bradly: Vote for me, or that PQ staffer will still be running this state.
- wordslinger - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:56 pm:
Vote for Brady or Quinn will give another State of the State Address
Vote for Quinn or Brady will give the next State of the State Address
Vote for Claypool or Carol Marin will mess you up
Vote for Berrios or else. Love, MJM.
Vote for Kirk or the terrorists win
Vote for Alexi or you might have, you know, an accident. Kapeesh?
Vote for Plummer or he’ll never come out of his room again — never, never, ever!
Vote for Simon or her next number will be Beyonce’s “I’m a Single Lady” — with choreography.
Vote for Seals or the dude might have to get a job.
Vote for Dold or the dude might pen more lame tunes.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 12:56 pm:
Vote for me or it won’t look legal. - Emanuel
- dgd - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:00 pm:
Vote for Dan Hynes, or is it too late for that?
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:00 pm:
“Vote for Scott Lee Cohen or he’ll have time to start dating your daughter.”
– MrJM
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:01 pm:
Quinn: Vote for me or all the taxpayer funded public service union kickbacks will be for naught.
Alexi: Vote for me or all the taxpayer funded “governing” trips by Obama, Inc. will be wasted.
- VanillaMan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:04 pm:
Vote for me or I’ll keep reminding you that you didn’t vote for me in 2006. - JBT
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:04 pm:
“Vote for Comptroller or… or… well dammit, I used to know what the comptroller did… hold on… give me a second…”
– MrJM
- soccermom - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:04 pm:
Vote for Quinn or Bill Brady will be governor.
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:07 pm:
Vote for Brady or all the Blago holdovers will stay on the public dole.
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:07 pm:
“Vote for Brady and Kirk or VanillaMan and Cincinnatus will spend the next four years claiming that Illinois could have been a utopia if only.”
(All in good fun, fellas.)
(Well, mostly.)
– MrJM
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:08 pm:
@soccermom - daaaaaaaaaaamn.
- Cincinnatus - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:11 pm:
MrJM,
No harm, no foul…
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:12 pm:
Brady: Vote for me or Pat Quinn will be hosting a Sunday afternoon TV show just like Hugo Chavez.
Quinn: Vote for me or your gay puppy will have it’s food cut by 50% and then be gassed.
Alexi: Vote for me because I have no family business to go back to.
Kirk: Vote for me or I really will have to fly over some foreign country under hostile fire.
Dan Rutherford: Vote for me because I’m tired of pretending to live in Chenoa.
Robin Kelly: Vote for me so I can officially have the job I’ve been doing for the past four years.
JBT: Vote for me because you didn’t last time and look what happened.
David Miller: Vote for me because paying the State’s bills is like pulling teeth and I have the relevant experience.
- Ghost - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:12 pm:
Vote for Quinn or armed men will force you to work in their oversea factories for 3/hr
Vote for Brady or AFSCME will convert IL into its own Sov territory.
Vote for Rich Whitney or your vote will be meaningful
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:14 pm:
Labno: Vote for me because I have been endorsed by Alexi as the real choice for conservative voters.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:14 pm:
Fritchey “Vote for me, or my ‘tan’ will fade away”
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:16 pm:
Hey, I somehow morphed “or” into “because”…sorry Rich.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:18 pm:
Quinn “Vote for me, or the prisons will be over-crowded again … and we don’t want that”
- IrishPirate - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:19 pm:
Kirk–Vote for Me or I’ll Be Doing New Joe Izuzu Commercials
Brady–Vote for me and I’ll pay taxes
Brady–Vote for me or Jason Plummer will go back to the Frat
Quinn–Vote for me or the State Will be in Financial Trouble
Quinn–Vote for me or Mike Madigan will get angry and eat two apples for lunch
Alexi–Vote for Me or I’ll end up playing fourth string for the Bulls
Quinn–Vote for me Or I’ll Run for Mayor
Quinn–Forget I said that. I just got a fish delivered by UPS
Plummer–Vote 4 ME or I’ll end up as a Halloween Frankenstein Impersonator
Plummer-Vote 4 ME and it’s kegger time.
- Team America - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:29 pm:
Vote for me, or China will end up owning the whole country. Whoops, too late.
- dupage dan - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:33 pm:
Vote (write in) for Roland Burris because he has room left on the tombstone.
Vote (write in) for “soccormom” because “she” really is Pat Quinn.
- (618)662 Dem - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:36 pm:
“Vote for Brady or Illinois will become more like Illinois.”
“Vote for Quinn unless you like being call Hoosier.”
“Vote for Kirk or Illinois will get another politician with a name the national media can’t pronounce.”
- Bluejay - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:37 pm:
Seals - vote for me, otherwise I don’t have an excuse to move into the 10th District
- Skeeter - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:41 pm:
Vote for Brady and Kirk or Cincinnatus will cry like a little girl for months.
Vote staight Republican, or we will never hear the end of “The Machine stole our election!”
Vote Straight Republican or the gays will win.
Vote for Will Burns, or he will forever be known as “that guy who lost to Junebug.”
Vote for Danny Davis or he will finally have to run for one of those other offices that he always talking about running for.
Vote for Schilling or Nancy Pelosi will eat your children.
- Bluefish - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:45 pm:
Whitney: Vote for me or…um…ah…hmmm…are we really sure we want to make this stuff legal?
- Bluejay - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:49 pm:
Alexi - vote for me, becuase unlike the last guy, there’s no way I’m running for President mid-way through my term!
Alexi - vote for me to continue Illinois’ fine track record of representation in that seat, like Carol Mosely Braun and Roland Burris!
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:52 pm:
Robin Kelly: Vote for me or you’re next treasurer will be as interested in the office as the one you have now.
- wordslinger - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 1:55 pm:
Stick with the format, people! Vote for ___ or ___.
Also, hint to some: Trying to cram long-winded partisan talking points into the format doesn’t bring the funny.
- Thoughts... - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:03 pm:
Quinn: “Vote for me or Jason Plummer will be a heartbeat away from Governor”
- Irish - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:03 pm:
Vote for Republican House members or nothing will change.
Vote for Quinn because you won’t know how Brady will handle the fiscal crisis.
Vote for Brady because you won’t know how Quinn will handle the fiscal crisis.
- Phineas J. Whoopee - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:06 pm:
Vote for Tom Dart or…oh nevermind
- Jake from Elwood - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:09 pm:
Quinn: Vote for me or I might not hold any more Sunday afternoon pressers…I mean it!
- Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:09 pm:
Vote for me, Scott Lee Cohen, or I’ll get angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry…
- Anonymous - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:12 pm:
Quinn: Vote for me or - Hey look, a Kitty!
- Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:14 pm:
Vote for Rich Whitey, or a different rich whitey.
- Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:18 pm:
Vote for our current felons, or for our up and coming future felons.
- kj - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:19 pm:
Vote for Robert Enriquez or the state will continue to tumble
- A.J. Feeley's Clipboard - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:22 pm:
Vote for Mark Kirk because if you don’t, he will smite you down with lightning, as he has done with previous foes in the Middle East.
Vote for Pat Quinn because if you don’t agree with him today, you will tomorrow.
- MrJM - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:23 pm:
“Vote for Bill Brady or Jason Plummer’s resume will still only have internships on it.”
– MrJM
- 47th Ward - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:27 pm:
I got nothing. I’ve tried, but it isn’t working today. Judging from what I’ve seen so far, it ain’t working for a lot of us today.
- Ron Burgundy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:31 pm:
Vote for me, Scott Lee Cohen, or I will have to get a job with…. one of… America’s… biggest… cable television companies.
Vote for me, Scott Lee Cohen, or… um… Baxter? What will happen if they don’t vote for me?
- Irish - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:34 pm:
Vote for “the candidate who actually knows what they are doing, has integrity, wants to make a difference, has a plan, and is capable of carrying it out, and won’t be influenced by power brokers”. or you will get “Illinois Government.”………..What do you mean you can’t find one. Seriously??????
- Bluejay - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:37 pm:
Vote for me, Scott Lee Cohen, or else I’ll keep running for offices until you do.
- cuban pilot - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:37 pm:
To pottential jurors: Vote for Conviction this time or allow that goof to get his own radio show like laski.
To Republicans: Vote for Miller or pottentially have your party’s sole constitutional officer and the “face of the party” be JBT.
To expecting parents: Vote for Kirk or else he will have to go back to his fallback career as a nursery school “teacher.”
To rich miller: vote for Oswego willy next caption contest or else willy will have to change his screen name to Oswego susan Luchi.
Vote for the constitutional amendment or else Illinois could be stuck with a pathetic governor..oh wait, we are illinois, so we will be continually burden with a poor governor.
Vote for Quinn, or else he will die from starvation when he is forced to live at his apartment.
Vote for Quinn/Simon or else Robert Plummer will be able to keep claiming that child tax exemption. After all, We all hate it when rich guys don’t pay their taxes.
- Irish - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:42 pm:
Vote for Rahm Emmanuel so we can get that over with and don’t have to listen to it for the next four months.
- DRB - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:51 pm:
Vote for Scott Lee Cohen cause I won the primary.
- Oswego Willy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 2:57 pm:
Thanks cuban pilot …
Along those lines …
Quinn “Vote for me or Oswego Willy will need therapy”
- Thoughts... - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:19 pm:
Quinn: “Vote for me or EVERYONE gets hurt”
- been there - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:26 pm:
Vote for Quinn or Brady won’t let your gay puppy be aborted. Then he’ll gas it.
- Pat Robertson - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:44 pm:
Sheriff of Nottingham: Vote for me or Christmas is cancelled!
- cuban pilot - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:45 pm:
Vote for mike Madigan or else the House Dems might have to think for themselves for the first time in 30 years. That would be a disaster. After all, a puppet without a master is just like another toy doll.
P.s. - Oswego Willy, you do good work son.
- Cheswick - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:52 pm:
In the words of the late, great Eddie Kendricks…
Vote for me, and I’ll set you free.
(Eddie didn’t actually write the song, void where prohibited, all decisions final, no puppies were gassed in the making of this comment.)
- cuban pilot - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 3:54 pm:
Vote for Brady/Plummer or else if that Cohen wins the the next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser, and your daughter’s knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.
- siriusly - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 4:01 pm:
Vote for Republican legislators to get rid of Madigan or the Chicago Tribune will send inappropriate emails to your company’s staff. And to your children!
- Reformer - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 4:13 pm:
Cronin: vote for me so or we can’t keep one-party rule.
Rauschenberger: Vote for me or I’ll give you an eye-glazing budget analysis.
Noland: Vote for me or your taxes won’t go up.
Nekritz: Vote for me or every House Dem will vote for Madigan’s rules.
- yikes - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 4:15 pm:
Vote for Brady or blame yourself for what happens to Illinois.
- Wensicia - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 4:33 pm:
Quinn: Vote for me or you’re a racist, sexist, homophobic idiot and puppy killer! (Rickey Hendon told me to say this, so I’m not responsible.)
- Ahoy - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 5:11 pm:
Vote for Quinn or puppies will die
- fed up - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 5:23 pm:
Vote for Quinn please we havent had a chance to shred everything yet.*
This ad was sponsored by Blago.
- Park - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 6:20 pm:
Cohen: Vote for me or Park misses his 8% prediction on this blog. I’m only polling 4%….c’mon, help the guy out!
- Bluejay - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 8:10 pm:
Quinn - vote for me or else Brady will cut so much that our state will be renamed “Ilinoi”
- wordslinger - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 8:42 pm:
Geez, the election must be getting close. Everyone’s yammering boring talking points when it’s supposed to be FUN!
The best real slogan of all time was from Ald Roti, a made Outfit guy.
“Vote for Roti and Nobody Gets Hurt.”
- Pot calling kettle - Thursday, Oct 28, 10 @ 11:01 pm:
Vote for Quinn or he’ll have even more time to go around giving speeches.
Vote for Brady or he’ll lose his government paycheck.
- CM46 - Friday, Oct 29, 10 @ 4:21 am:
Robin Kelly: Vote for me or you will hear about Pongee’s (Rutherford’s car who has a FB Page)exploits about taking the State Treasurer around Illinois.