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Today’s video: Simon at the BGA

Wednesday, Aug 1, 2012

* As I’ve told you before, Lieutenant Gov. Sheila Simon agreed to appear at a Better Government Association fundraiser celebrating the return of The Onion headquarters to Chicago. Simon sang and played her banjo to the tune “We’re in the Jailhouse Now.” Check it out

* Lyrics as supplied by LG Simon’s office…

We’ve had our share of governors who
Took some money from me and from you
They thought they were the smartest guys in town
They just could not hold in
Something f-in golden
Thanks to tapes we know exactly how
They’re in the jailhouse now
They’re in the jailhouse now
They had trials once or twice, and Colorado must be nice
They’re in the jailhouse now

Yodel…

We have a place named Dixon
Sure could use some fixin’
The city clerk there may have robbed the town
She has found her way
To have that city pay
To race her horses for a triple crown
She’s in the courthouse now
She’s in the courthouse now
She’s gambled once or twice, with public funds and loaded dice
She’s in the courthouse now

Yodel…

I see our state a different way
Work with my friends at the BGA
Think of better laws and write them down
The vote might be a squeaker
Did someone call the speaker?
I’ve heard he’s the sweetest guy around
We’re in the statehouse now
We’re in the statehouse now
We’ll try it once or twice, some real disclosure would be nice
We’re in the statehouse now

Heh.

Any lyrics you’d like to add? Maybe VanillaMan will return from his semi-retirement to help out.

- Posted by Rich Miller        

14 Comments
  1. - Jade Rabbit - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 12:55 pm:

    Yodel…

    The current Governor is a man named Quinn
    Worked so hard for his last political win
    Supporting unions forced from Illinois towns
    Pension plans aren’t making friends
    Prison deals are the latest of trends
    I’ve heard he’s the sweetest guy around
    We’re in the machine now
    We’re in the machine now
    Greased the wheels once or twice, some real reform would be nice
    We’re in the machine now


  2. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 1:07 pm:

    Yodel…

    Now we got a different guy in town
    Not your normal sort of clown
    Used to be the man of the folk
    Union folks think that’s a joke
    Once had a press conference outside Chicago Town
    then he realized most of the media wasn’t arounn
    Like to talk to a middle school student
    tells them not to take the cinamon test, would be prudent


  3. - sal-says - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 1:29 pm:

    Whomever wrote these ‘lyrics’ ought to be ‘in the Jailhouse Now’.

    Maybe Ms. Simon could do something lt. governer-ish for a change? Or is this what we’re paying for?


  4. - OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 1:39 pm:

    Maybe Ms. Simon could do something lt. governer-ish for a change? Or is this what we’re paying for?

    Look at the state constitution, basically the Lt. Governor waits for the current governor to leave office. That’s about it for official responsibilities.


  5. - Knome Sane - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 1:43 pm:

    Look at the state constitution, basically the Lt. ==Governor waits for the current governor to leave office.==

    Feet first. Or hands locked behind their back.


  6. - Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 2:11 pm:

    Our state is billions of dollars in debt
    We don’t have pension reform yet
    The General Assembly thinks the Guv’s a clown
    We’ve already raised the taxes
    and sharpened the budget axes
    Looks like we’ll have to pass the hat around
    We’re in the poorhouse now
    We’re in the poorhouse now
    We’ll try to pass it once or twice, no one wants to pay the price
    We’re in the poorhouse now


  7. - Bluefish - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 2:39 pm:

    We always need the campaign cash
    So we toss our constituents in the trash
    And in the resulting debt we watch them drown
    Yes we’ll take your union’s money
    And sweeten your pensions with lots of honey
    We’re in their pockets now
    We’re in their pockets now
    Election cycles once or twice, all these bucks are really nice
    We’re in their pockets now


  8. - Bluefish - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 2:43 pm:

    Oops, missed a line:

    We always need the campaign cash
    So we toss our constituents in the trash
    And in the resulting debt we watch them drown
    Yes we’ll take the union’s money
    And sweeten pensions with lots of honey
    While circling the drain round and round
    We’re in their pockets now
    We’re in their pockets now
    Election cycles once or twice, all these bucks are really nice
    We’re in their pockets now


  9. - just sayin' - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 3:15 pm:

    More importantly, how does Andy Shaw and the BGA ever go after some of these politicians after getting this cozy? Answer, he doesn’t.


  10. - Rich Miller - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 3:47 pm:

    === how does Andy Shaw and the BGA ever go after some of these politicians after getting this cozy==

    Oh, please.


  11. - cermak_rd - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 4:03 pm:

    Knome Sane,

    Who was the last governor to leave feet first? I guess it was before my lifetime. I just remember Thompson, Edgar, Ryan, Blagojevich, and Quinn. I don’t remember Walker (in my defense, I was 10 when he left office) but I know he didn’t die in office because he went to jail in the 80s.

    All the way back to Governor Horner?


  12. - amalia - Wednesday, Aug 1, 12 @ 5:36 pm:

    too tired to write anything even close to decent, but simply want to say love love love Sheila Simon. just hilarious and endearing.


  13. - Panopticon - Thursday, Aug 2, 12 @ 12:17 am:

    ROW FASTER, I HEAR BANJOS!


  14. - Yellow Dog Democrat - Thursday, Aug 2, 12 @ 9:28 am:

    We count on the press to keep an eye
    But George, Rod n’ Rich got a bye
    So to the comedians we turn.
    Stewart’s Daily Showin,
    That wild Onion is growin
    Getting scooped by clowns really burns
    Who’s in the Blue room now?
    Who’s in the Blue Room now?
    Cuttin’ reporters might save a buck,
    When the sh*t hits the fan, you’re out of luck
    Who’s in the Blue Room now?!?


Sorry, comments for this post are now closed.


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