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Question of the day
Monday, Oct 29, 2012 - Posted by Rich Miller * Despite the fact that pretty much every poll I’ve seen for weeks has had the Judy Biggert vs. Bill Foster race as a dead heat, the campaign hasn’t really generated the same intensity of media coverage that the Joe Walsh vs. Tammy Duckworth or Bob Dold vs. Brad Schneider campaigns. I have to figure that since both candidates are pretty vanilla and moderate, they’re just not “good TV” like Walsh/Duckworth. And Dold and Schneider look positively charismatic when compared to Biggert and Foster. Also, Biggert has until recently kept a pretty low media profile, unlike the other candidates, which tends to tamp down coverage as a whole. So, let’s put on our thinking caps, shall we? * The Question: What could Judy Biggert and Bill Foster do in the final week to gin up coverage of their campaign? Snark is highly encouraged, of course. Have fun, but keep it clean, please. Also, sorry that I posted this so late in the day.
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- Rich Miller - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:22 pm:
Take turns drunk dialing Carol Marin.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:24 pm:
Co-officiate a civil unions ceremony.
- ArchPundit - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:24 pm:
===Take turns drunk dialing Carol Marin.
Sorry, but knowing Foster, he’d probably just stutter more.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:25 pm:
Biggert finally admits being a secret tea partier. Foster admits to having an irrepressible desire to increase middle class taxes.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:25 pm:
Wear each other’s clothes to the next debate.
- Michelle Flaherty - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:33 pm:
Foster campaigns door to door as “Pin Head” from the HellRaiser horror flick series
- Mittuns - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:34 pm:
Have a winner-take-all match-up pitting their Dressage horses against each other.
Have both candidates switch to contacts.
- OneMan - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:34 pm:
Each are caught messing with Oberwies for state senate signs…
Foster knocks over an Oberwies location
- 47th Ward - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:35 pm:
I was going to go with mud wrestling, but I’ve seen their ads and they’ve already tried that.
- OneMan - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:35 pm:
Foster builds a time machine using the parts of a Delorian
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:36 pm:
Play the Match Game with Undecided Voters…
‘People are mad at congress. they wish Congress would “Blank”‘
‘I love to eat Chinese food, but every time I eat it, I “Blank”‘
‘People I met in the district are great. Heck, the last door I opened, “Blank” happened.’
- OneMan - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:36 pm:
Foster runs an add with just him looking at the screen and saying..
“Income taxes are for losers”
or
“I invented a machine that lets you not pay income taxes, elect me and everyone in the district gets one”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:36 pm:
Cannoli-Eating Contest?
- Anonymous - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:38 pm:
Chik-fil-a breast eating contest…..
- The Captain - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:39 pm:
Ninja’s dressed like clowns for GOTV.
- Lobo-y-olla - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:40 pm:
Sorry, that’s me above….
- Norseman - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:40 pm:
New commercial - Foster, Australian for congressman
- Skeeter - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:41 pm:
Using information gained from his years at Fermi, Foster threatens to smash his opponent like a particle in accelerator.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:42 pm:
Play the “brady bunch” game - take turns naming episodes. Repeat an episode, take a shot, don’t name an episode when its your turn, take a shot.
First one to have to mention “Oliver comes to live with the Bradys” loses.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:43 pm:
Dress as their favorite Rocky Horror Picture Show character, and dance the Time Warp at an Undecided Voters house for Trick or Treaters on Halloweeen.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:45 pm:
Sing their college fight song while juggling 3 Obamacare Bills.
One word …Twister.
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:46 pm:
Debate-in the nude.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:49 pm:
Do a cooking show, together for WTTW, making the “John Kass Beer Can Chicken” with Carol Marin hosting.
- MrJM - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:50 pm:
1) Debate question.
2) Tequila shots.
3) Candidate responses.
4) Repeat.
– MrJM
- OneMan - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:52 pm:
Start tossing drunks out of bars in downtown Naperville
- Earnest - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:57 pm:
Issue a statement opposing abortion in all cases and use the words “rape” and “god” in it.
- CircularFiringSquad - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:58 pm:
“Wear each other’s clothes to the next debate.”
They did that 2 weeks ago …no one noticed
How about Foster endorses Obama and Biggert sends campaign cash to Michelle Bachman
- 10th Indy - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 3:59 pm:
Gin. Lots of Gin.
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:01 pm:
Debate the questions:
1) Favorite Kardashian
2) Boxers or Briefs
3) Chicken or Egg
- Precinct Captain - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:14 pm:
They should have a duel.
- Responsa - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:17 pm:
They have a nice fall photo-op of the two of them together taking a (careful) walk among the buffalo herd at Fermilab to prove they really are decent people.
- Ivory-billed Woodpecker - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:18 pm:
Race bicycles in opposite directions around the Tevatron tunnel.
- OurMagician - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:31 pm:
Announce a new partnership in an upstart dairy operation.
- Wensicia - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:47 pm:
Debate how the Giants were able to blow away the Tigers in four games. Yeah, I know, how many people even watched the World Series this year?
- 47th Ward - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:48 pm:
===Yeah, I know, how many people even watched the World Series this year?===
When does the World Series start?
- been there - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:49 pm:
not as funny as rich’s and some of the others but how about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich event where,in a bipartisan effort, bill and judy make and give away free peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to everyone who lines up? no, no significance to the peanut butter and jelly but maybe the sandwich eaters could think of some.
- zatoichi - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:54 pm:
Announce a joint business trip to South Afica.
Open a law practice together.
Convert to Mormonism.
Co-Host with Svengoolie.
- Wensicia - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 4:56 pm:
@47th,
Heh…
- NIref - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 5:04 pm:
Foster: Dress as the Doctor for Halloween
Biggert: Distribute butterscotch candies to trick-or-treaters.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 5:14 pm:
===New commercial - Foster, Australian for congressman ===
I know I made no mention of it up top, but Norseman wins an invite to the election night party for that one.
- Skeeter - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 5:29 pm:
When are you going to let the rest of us know? I have the fear that I may spend yet another election night at Boss Bar checking somebody’s iphone for returns, having those returns analyzed by former Madigan staffers, all while playing Golden Tee.
You can only do that so many times.
- Pot calling kettle - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 7:40 pm:
Biggert hunts Fermi Lab deer from a helicopter with Bachmann piloting and Palin spotting.
Foster has a town hall meeting in a bar and screams at people who don’t agree with him that they are “anti-science idiots!”
- Anonymous - Monday, Oct 29, 12 @ 11:17 pm:
Hold a 45-minute press conference where they both read selected lines from Peyton Place that a) represent and contradict parallels in their own lives and 2) support and contradict their positions on social issues, and then absolutely refuse to challenge each other throughout the reading–or otherwise give away whether the lines they delivered are, or are not, representative of their lives and their positions on issues. (In other words, leave voters guessing with absolutely no opportunities for fact-finding prior to Election Day.)
End the press conference with a lively and spirited 15-minute debate as to whether the first part of the press conference was a soap opera, a ‘high-class anthology drama,’ or a preview of what Illinois voters can look forward to in future elections if current campaign trends that actually DO get press attention continue.
If there’s no time for that, simply send out a daily barrage of highly controversial and contradictory press releases *about themselves* for the time remaining and claim that the releases are either leaks from disgruntled staff or a mole who has not yet been identified.
Either should work; there’s precedent regarding the efficacy of both solutions.
- Tommydanger - Tuesday, Oct 30, 12 @ 7:27 am:
The bigger the Biggert the better the Biggert the Biggerts are bigger at Burger King.
- jerry 101 - Tuesday, Oct 30, 12 @ 9:43 am:
In order to keep this clean, lets just say do what celebrities have been doing to get a media boost going back to Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson.
Not with their spouses or significant others, either. With each other.