“Mr. Speaker, can you please ask all the members of the Democratic Caucus under indictment to pleas sit on THAT side of the aisle with the Republicans, like I assigned them … please …”
“Can you tell the ‘Other Side’ I think debate is over …”
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:58 pm:
The Speaker asserted his authority as to the proposed passage of the latest Pension Reform bill being debated in the House, and supported, by Gov. Quinn, stunning several gasping onlookers by assailing the Representative sponsor and chiding, “And you’re lucky I’m only making my point with my FOREfinger at what you’re saying! ‘Cuz I’m only one away if you utter another WORD at passing this bill-ONE AWAY-from pointing at you with my BIG finger to make MY point! So YOUR comments in support of this bill are Over-O V E R!!!”
“Now, someone … I know it was a member from the other side of the aisle … sat at MY table at Saputo’s last night …yes, I wasn’t there …One of you sat there …THEY know who they are … and they SAT!….”
“I am putting the other side of the aisle on notice. Right here. Right now. Either you all run better campaigns, or I will takee you ALL out …I got you down to 47 … I will take YOU, and you, and you … They have been warned, Mr. Speaker …”
“A man becomes ‘The Speaker’, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins. Keep that in mind, my Mushrooms …To the Bill”
But I’m a superstitious man. And if some unlucky accident should befall Lisa - if she should get challenged in a primary by a millionaire or if she should hang herself in an ethics investigation - or if she’s struck by a bolt of lightning, then I’m going to blame some of the people in this room, and that I do not forgive.
Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
“And to be quite clear, I didn’t hire Pat Brady, they did over there …I had nothing to do with Pat Brady as the Other Side’s state chairman…And… I take offense to that … “
“I control the legislature, my daughter will control the executive branch. I write letters to Alderman Burke to ’support’ judges. I’m the man. I’m a place for one stop shopping. State contracts, TIF districts, property tax appeals. There’s nothing I can’t do because voters like the tyranny of the majority. I’ve become a millionaire and don’t you forget that! I have relatives and friends that understand that I can help them even though they work in the so-called private sector. See those roads out there, those are my roads built by my unions with construction companies that I approve of: done by legal and insurance work that meets my standards. Me, me , me.”
Ignore that man behind the curtain! I am the great and powerful Oz!
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:08 pm:
Wow-these are hilarious. Thanx particularly to nobody@2:27 pm, OW (as usual, for many contributions, the Baseball one being particularly amusing)–(or is it Robert, Jason, WHOever!!!); also to How Ironic@2:40 pm, Questioning@ 2:48 pm and PM31@2:52 pm–all were gut-splitters (or at least great chuckles!) for me…although there are more goodies up there, ‘n probly. more to come!
“I can bend my finger like this and I can wiggle my nose and ears at the same time and make legislators disappear with the other finger.
Any questions?”
I’m not the one wasting money on frivolous gun lawsuits. My daughter is. If you don’t like it take it up with her. Her office is right across the street.
- hisgirlfriday - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:39 pm:
How happy are folks who save hundreds of bucks switching to GEICO?
Happier than Michael Madigan blocking Republicans from having any shot at relevance in Illinois politics.
- wow - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:39 pm:
Who is that he is telling to shut up?
- Downstate Illinois - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:40 pm:
You! The one behind me on the right! Sit down, shut up, and don’t even think about trying to interrupt me.
- Mouthy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:41 pm:
“Talk to the Finger”
- Mayor Quimby - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:42 pm:
And then after every block, Mutumbo would go like this.
- RNUG - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:42 pm:
The pension reform plan and the magic budget beans are right over there …
- the Patriot - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:43 pm:
little bunny foo-foo
- Anonymiss - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:43 pm:
“Go Greased Lightning, you’re burning up the quarter mile…”
- Property owner - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:44 pm:
Taking a vote a bill to fully fund the Illinois pension plans was my number one priority at the lame duck session last month.
- OneMan - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:44 pm:
This finger has more power than the rest of you..
Buawhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
- Mason born - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:45 pm:
I am the LAW!!!
- Esquire - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:46 pm:
“I accuse!”
- Nickypiii - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:48 pm:
One more year until Pat Quinn has to find another job since he won’t win the Dem primary.
- Casual Observer - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:50 pm:
Go ahead! Pull my finger, but you’ll regret it. I eat apples for a reason…Fiber.
- MrJM - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:50 pm:
“First warning. There won’t be a second.”
– MrJM
- Boone Logan Square - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:51 pm:
Go get your clubs, Cross!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:54 pm:
“Really? Oh, well, right there … that WAS Rep. Hassert’s seat … shall I continue?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:55 pm:
“Mr. Speaker, can you please ask all the members of the Democratic Caucus under indictment to pleas sit on THAT side of the aisle with the Republicans, like I assigned them … please …”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:57 pm:
“Mr. Speaker, tell Mr. Cross that he can’t just get up and go play golf during session, Stop him, Mr. Speaker!”
- more of same - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:58 pm:
Mr. Cross the door is that way!
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:58 pm:
“Can you tell the ‘Other Side’ I think debate is over …”
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 1:58 pm:
The Speaker asserted his authority as to the proposed passage of the latest Pension Reform bill being debated in the House, and supported, by Gov. Quinn, stunning several gasping onlookers by assailing the Representative sponsor and chiding, “And you’re lucky I’m only making my point with my FOREfinger at what you’re saying! ‘Cuz I’m only one away if you utter another WORD at passing this bill-ONE AWAY-from pointing at you with my BIG finger to make MY point! So YOUR comments in support of this bill are Over-O V E R!!!”
- wordslinger - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:01 pm:
Wrong finger, Mike.
- Darienite - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:01 pm:
Just checking to see which way the wind is blowing. Just kidding; who do you think I am, the Guv?
- Rich Miller - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:02 pm:
(By the way, this isn’t the first time Ben Winick has looked blurry to me.)
- PM31 - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:02 pm:
“Where is pointer-finger, where is pointer-finger, here I am, here I am.”
- Rail Sitter - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:04 pm:
Not now Sara!
- Stones - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:04 pm:
Only double-jointed folks can do this with their finger.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:04 pm:
“And … I might just run that ‘Silverstein’ Bill if Miller keeps posting pictures of me …You really want to mock me. I don’t think so.”
- Tsavo - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:05 pm:
“and this is the finger I use to poke Quinn in the chest with when I tell him who REALLY runs the State”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:05 pm:
“Not one of you … is the Next …’Bill Black’!”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:06 pm:
“I read that letter Mr. Cross wrote … and I say to YOU, Mr. Cross, …’With kindest personal regards…’ …”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:08 pm:
“Can you tell the other side, when I want to hear from them, I will ask … Mr. Speaker … Now, to the Bill…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:09 pm:
I know, Mr. Speaker, …I couldn’t believe it either … They …THEY… choose Tom Cross … AGAIN?!?!?”
- Bluefish - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:10 pm:
“Stubby Rahm can’t do this.”
- AFSCME Steward - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:12 pm:
You see that black panel I’m pointing at ? I painted it it. That’s right me. Anybody still having problems with the color ?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:12 pm:
“I asked every one of my colleagues over there to buy my Girl Scout Cookies, and Mr. Speaker, not one of them bought my Cookies …To the Bill …”
- Re-elect No One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:14 pm:
I hear voices and none of them like you right now.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:14 pm:
“Now, someone … I know it was a member from the other side of the aisle … sat at MY table at Saputo’s last night …yes, I wasn’t there …One of you sat there …THEY know who they are … and they SAT!….”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:17 pm:
“I am putting the other side of the aisle on notice. Right here. Right now. Either you all run better campaigns, or I will takee you ALL out …I got you down to 47 … I will take YOU, and you, and you … They have been warned, Mr. Speaker …”
- Re-elect No One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:22 pm:
There are 3 types of GA members. First those that can balance a budget and those who can’t balance a budget.
- Jimmy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:25 pm:
“Release the hounds.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:26 pm:
“A man becomes ‘The Speaker’, he’s expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms… What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork… Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don’t field… what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I’m goin’ out there for myself. But… I get nowhere unless the team wins. Keep that in mind, my Mushrooms …To the Bill”
- nobody - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:27 pm:
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain…..I am the great and powerful…..
- Johnny Vegas - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:29 pm:
I’ve got my finger in a lot of pies.
- Quizzical - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:29 pm:
You have no idea how hard this job is. That one over there has a bill to provide, “gender respective alternative medicines to undocumented aliens.”
- 47th Ward - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:30 pm:
But I’m a superstitious man. And if some unlucky accident should befall Lisa - if she should get challenged in a primary by a millionaire or if she should hang herself in an ethics investigation - or if she’s struck by a bolt of lightning, then I’m going to blame some of the people in this room, and that I do not forgive.
- LincolnLounger - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:30 pm:
Cause if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it
(With apologies to Beyonce)
- Skeptic - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:32 pm:
“You two, knock it off! Don’t make me turn this chamber around!”
- Give Me A Break - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:36 pm:
That’s enough out of you Sara, Harris is Approp. Chair now anyway.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:39 pm:
“And to be quite clear, I didn’t hire Pat Brady, they did over there …I had nothing to do with Pat Brady as the Other Side’s state chairman…And… I take offense to that … “
- How Ironic - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
One apple per day people. Thats all you need. One.
- Questioning - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:48 pm:
This finger is God to all of you sitting in this chamber, and never, ever forget that.
- PM31 - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:52 pm:
“Now, imagine the Pope’s ring on this finger….”
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:56 pm:
Please summon Mr. Brown. I’m ready to dispense some news.
- Steve Bartin - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 2:58 pm:
“I control the legislature, my daughter will control the executive branch. I write letters to Alderman Burke to ’support’ judges. I’m the man. I’m a place for one stop shopping. State contracts, TIF districts, property tax appeals. There’s nothing I can’t do because voters like the tyranny of the majority. I’ve become a millionaire and don’t you forget that! I have relatives and friends that understand that I can help them even though they work in the so-called private sector. See those roads out there, those are my roads built by my unions with construction companies that I approve of: done by legal and insurance work that meets my standards. Me, me , me.”
- pardon - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:03 pm:
47th ward wins
- Dorothy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:05 pm:
Ignore that man behind the curtain! I am the great and powerful Oz!
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:08 pm:
Wow-these are hilarious. Thanx particularly to nobody@2:27 pm, OW (as usual, for many contributions, the Baseball one being particularly amusing)–(or is it Robert, Jason, WHOever!!!); also to How Ironic@2:40 pm, Questioning@ 2:48 pm and PM31@2:52 pm–all were gut-splitters (or at least great chuckles!) for me…although there are more goodies up there, ‘n probly. more to come!
- Steve Bartin - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:10 pm:
“Theft through majority voting is the surest way to prosperity for those who run a political machine.”
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:20 pm:
I told you to wait in the truck…….
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:20 pm:
Quizzical, that honestly is the first time that I’ve literally spewed at my screen.
- Anonymous - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:21 pm:
And I do hope that that was, in fact, snark.
- Amalia - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:21 pm:
Sarah, you see before you an apple. You can’t touch it. It’s mine. But if you will just vote against…..
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:22 pm:
“There is only ONE - Anonymous - … got it … ONE … and one - Anonymous - is more than enough.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:24 pm:
“Now, when I tell you, my Mushrooms, use this finger and press the “Green” button. It’s that simple, and I expect a ‘yes’ vote…”
- WazUp - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:25 pm:
“I can bend my finger like this and I can wiggle my nose and ears at the same time and make legislators disappear with the other finger.
Any questions?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:27 pm:
“Mushrooms! I see ONE ‘No’ vote on MY Bill … There should be no “Red”, why do i see “Red” ….”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:33 pm:
thanks - Just The Way It Is One -.
Lot of good ones as usual.
Unless the Speaker thinks they are bad, and when the Speaker isn’t happy, no one is happy.
- Joe from Joliet - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:33 pm:
I’m not the one wasting money on frivolous gun lawsuits. My daughter is. If you don’t like it take it up with her. Her office is right across the street.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:34 pm:
“And I asked Mr. Cross, “Stop messing with my ‘Madi-Knife’…”
- ERIC FROM UW - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:36 pm:
@ the guy in the back drop-> I wonder where I parked my car?
- walkinfool - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:39 pm:
The answer to your question is “one”.
- The unknown poster - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:40 pm:
This thing is loaded and I know how to use it.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:41 pm:
“Hold that thought! I want to Chair to explain why I am not recognized…”
- Re-elect No One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:41 pm:
I am too a team player. You see this finger? Whatever button it pushes, you push the same one. There is only 1 team and let this finger be your guide.
- Re-elect No One - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:45 pm:
There are more cities in Illinois than just one? Are you sure? I’ve never heard of any but Chicago.
- 3rd Generation Chicago Native - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:46 pm:
I put my finger up to feel where all the hot air is coming from, and it’s coming from that way.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:47 pm:
“Shhh! I am sorry, did the Chair say …”NO” … to my request … SHH! I am waiting for an answer.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:50 pm:
“Wait …WAIT … this is my favorite part when Bost throws the paper in the air!”
- Keyser Soze - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:53 pm:
Yes, I am double-jointed.
- Rich Miller - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 3:58 pm:
Everybody, wait. Wait. Wait one minute! Tell me again, why is my bill still in Rules?
- OurMagician - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:03 pm:
There aren’t enough Republicans left for them to talk to anymore fingers than 1.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:06 pm:
“Whoa …Did the Chair just say, I …can’t … speak to my Bill?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:08 pm:
“Shhh…The Chair is going to reveal all the CapFax’s Alias! …SHH!”
- steve schnorf - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:12 pm:
Remembering the old joke about the guy, his horse, and his new bride, “That’s one!”
- Muffin Man - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:16 pm:
And, when my finger goes down, I expect a “Madigan gets my vote” and a righteous “Amen” in unison from all of you Democrats in the chambers.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:23 pm:
“This is my favorite part when a Cross Bill fails…SHHH!”
- AFSCME Steward - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:34 pm:
After the next election there will be this many republicans in the house.
- Strobby - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 4:35 pm:
No Soup For You NEXT !!!
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Feb 22, 13 @ 6:10 pm:
“STOP!! In the name of Mike, before you break my heart. Think it o-o-ver.”