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Question of the day
Monday, Jun 8, 2015 - Posted by Rich Miller * My absolute favorite line from the session so far is Richard Goldberg’s response to a member’s question during a House approp hearing last week…
I’ve actually used that line on somebody else since then (substituting “conversation” for “hearing”) * The quote by the governor’s top legislative liaison perfectly illustrates what Kurt Erickson calls the Rauner administration’s “full-blown snark attack” on Democrats. My own take about the escalating Raunerite snark, posted earlier today…
* Some worry that the attacks by Goldberg, et al will hinder a budget/Turnaround Agenda solution. Meh. Rank and file Democrats won’t be in the room if this thing is ever settled. So, in the end (if there is an end) their opinion of Goldberg and the other Raunerites probably won’t matter. * The author of my favorite quote, who, believe it or not, is also one of my favorite people in the Rauner administration…
* The Question: Caption?
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- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:17 pm:
“Ms. Purvis wanted to be her to defend herself but I told her the spa day at the conference in California was more important”
- Todd Gak - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:19 pm:
The hell is this pic supposed to be?
Warm reg’s,
Sasquatch
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:20 pm:
“I’m not leaving, and I don’t want any stinking cannoli.”
- Ducky LaMoore - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:20 pm:
When the Owl held a sham hearing, I seem to remember that the people they called answered the questions to the best of their ability. Have they considered holding him in contempt for his rude behavior?
- Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:20 pm:
===Sasquatch===
LOL
Yeah, it does have a certain “caught in the wild” look to it.
- 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:20 pm:
I object, Mr. Chairman! This hearing is a travesty. It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:22 pm:
“Is the Governor guilty of something now, or do you guys wait until the end to says he guilty”
- Anonymous - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:22 pm:
I’m not leaving until I hear every one of you say “harumph!”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:23 pm:
“I also have Mr. Sandack’s script from the governor for today, I’ll submit that at the appropriate time…”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:24 pm:
“If it’s easier, we could all do this hearing by Twitter…”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
“Rep. Sandack, that’s not what we rehearsed…”
- 1776 - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
On counsel’s advice, I invoke my right under the Fifth Amendment not to answer, on the grounds I may incriminate myself.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:27 pm:
Representative, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with snark. Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Rep. Lang? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for autism moms, and you curse the governor. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That the autism cuts, while tragic, probably saved money. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves money. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a joke book, and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a darn what you think you are entitled to.
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:28 pm:
“For the 6th time, I’m Richard Goldberg Representative Sandack, you know me…”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:29 pm:
Rich wins… lol
- AlabamaShake - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:30 pm:
D@#&it Rich - that is EXACTLY what I was just going to post.
You win.
- 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:31 pm:
Lol Rich! I think of Goldberg more as a Lt. Jonathon Kendrick type:
“I have two books at my bedside, Mr. Chairman, Robert’s Rules of Order and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer Governor Bruce V. Rauner and the Lord our God.”
- Stones - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:33 pm:
There was a line that I can’t repeat (banned for sure) from Cheech & Chong’s Next Movie where Chong was performing in a comedy club. If you recall the movie you might know what I’m talking about. The perfect caption for that photo.
- A guy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:35 pm:
Empty chairs behind me, empty heads in front of me.
Rich, I would declare yours a winner if such authority were vested in me, but alas…
- Empty Suit - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:37 pm:
“Really Representative? No soup for you come back one year!”
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:38 pm:
This hearing is a sham, and that is a tragedy. But it’s a sham because it has no code. It’s a sham because it has no honor, and Raunerites are watching.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:41 pm:
Chairman Greg Harris: “We have here finally a witness that will further testify to Gov. Rauner’s rule over a snarky empire that controls all of the campaign money in this state and perhaps in other states. This witness has had no buffer between himself and Bruce Rauner. He can corroborate our charges on enough counts for this committee to recommend a charge of deliberate and excessive snarkery against Gov. Rauner.”
- Anonymous - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:45 pm:
“Money.”
- VanillaMan - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:47 pm:
I Am Twitter - I Am Woman, Sparks - Reddy, enhanced by VanillaMan
I am TWITTER, read my TWEET
Too immature to be discreet
And I know Rauner is up to no good-end
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
When I’ve testified here on the floor
No one’s ever gonna call me their friend
Oh yes, I speak lies
And I sound completely insane
Look, I’ve paid the price
My soul’s washed down a drain
If I have to, I will tweet anything
I am wrong
(Wrong)
I am divisible
(Divisible)
I am TWITTER
You can send email to break me
But it only serves to make me
More attractive to this administration’s goals
Then I’ll tweet something even wrong-er
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul,
(if I had one!)
Oh yes, I TWEET wise
But it’s SNARK born out of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
My loss is Rauner’s gain
If I have to, I will TWEET anything
I am wrong
(Wrong)
I am out of control
(Uncontrolled)
I am TWITTER!
- Georg Sande - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:49 pm:
“Chairman Harris, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
- 47th Ward - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:51 pm:
Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we cut a few billion from Human Services, or took a few liberties with our budget and revenue math - we did.
But you can’t hold a whole administration responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the entire system of representative democracy? And if the whole system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of self governance in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:51 pm:
Richard Goldberg waits while Ron Sandack takes a selfie…
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:52 pm:
- 47th Ward - takes to the snark on snark level!
“Is there a question anywhere in my future, Rep. Harris?”
- Give Me A Break - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:53 pm:
I picked to wrong day to go off my Touretts meds.
- Hedley Lamarr - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:54 pm:
“Does anyone have questions for my answers?”
- Blah - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:56 pm:
“A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
- Sir Reel - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:57 pm:
Can I plead the 5th?
- Anon. - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 12:58 pm:
“Please bore someone else with your questions.”
- OneMan - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:21 pm:
Much like the cheese, the man who brings the truth stands or sits alone.
- Michelle Flaherty - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:22 pm:
Rep. Harris: Why are you continuously disrespectful to this committee, Mr. Goldberg? Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?
Goldberg: [long pause, but then with complete truth in his answer] I don’t know.
Rep. Harris: [Rep. Harris goes to blackboard and writes the words ‘I Don’t Know’, then underlines them]
[reciting]
Rep. Harris: I like that. ‘I Don’t Know.’ That’s nice.
[imitating]
Rep. Harris: ‘Rep. Harris, will our legislation pass?’ Gee, Mr. Goldberg, I don’t know! You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to leave your words right up here for all the committees to enjoy, giving you full credit of course, Mr. Goldberg.
Goldberg: All right!
- PublicServant - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:25 pm:
The only money you need to be concerned with is the $20 mil, representative!
- Wow - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:30 pm:
Mushroom abuse.. Pure and simple.
- Bluefish - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:37 pm:
Wait, this isn’t the audition for Last Comic Standing? I’m outta here.
- Todd - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:39 pm:
What over, did you say ay over.
nothing is over until we decidide it is.
Was it over when the German’s bombed Pearl Harbor?
Hell No.
(Don Harmon) Germans?
(Sandack) forget it. he’s rolling
And it ain’t over now Cause when the going gets tough, they tough get going.
Who’s with me, lets go . . . .
- Jeff Trigg - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:42 pm:
I’m just here so I don’t get fined.
- out of touch - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:43 pm:
Good afternoon Mr. Chairman and members of the committee. My name is Goldberg and I’m here to deflect all substantive questions while reminding you (as I did the otherwise highly-regarded senators Haine, Harmon, Raoul, and Hastings) that you have it all wrong. I’m here to remind you of my infinite wisdom (which I have garnered from my vast experience working with the General Assembly for the last 3 months), and I’m operating under the false assumption that this room is large enough to hold my ego. Boy, this hearing room sure seems small…
- Anonymous - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:45 pm:
“I’m going to keep doing this until you forget about this story.”
- Former Titan - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:46 pm:
I can’t believe that I’m the only one who’s fuzzy about this entire proceeding, Representative.
- View from the Cheap Seats - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:48 pm:
Miller - time to drop the mic and leave the blog….BOOM
- Oswego Willy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:49 pm:
“S. H. A. M. ’sham’…”
- Wensicia - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:49 pm:
Are you giving a scripted answer?
Goldberg: “Script? What script?! I don’t need no stinking script!!”
- In a Minute - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:49 pm:
I have talked to quite a few people in Springfield and Chicago who are not Republicans and they like seeing Madigan, Cullerton and their members getting this kind of pushback. It’s more than good theater. Madigan has had such tight control for so long that most of us just wanted to see a fair fight and a different point of view openly debated and that is now the case.
- Thomas Jefferson - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:49 pm:
“YES, I OWN the Bel-Air Motel.”
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:50 pm:
Darn it 47, you got there first. Well done. Back to square one.
- Rich Miller - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:52 pm:
Trigg wins
- Louis G Atsaves - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:55 pm:
“I’m Ari Gold and your not!” (From Entourage)
- Anonin' - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:56 pm:
SlickHeadSandy & TeamBungle put on a show defendin’ the ghost payroller….Especially enjoyed TeamBungle usin’ the Blagoof defense — everyone else does it so so do we. Pretty sure no one tried cuttin’ autism grants and fundin’ the ghost from the same budget in the same breath.
Better luck next time.
- Interested - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
That trip she took to California? IDHS paid for that too…I thought that no out of state travel is allowed.
- zatoichi - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
It was a unibrow. How is that relevant? What’s it to you?
- Tommydanger - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:01 pm:
“You can’t handle the truth!!”
- Amalia - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
An apple testifies in Springfield.
- Gooner - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:29 pm:
“Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or put some politically connected pals under an improper budget while cutting funds for sick kids - we did.
[winks]
Goldberg: But you can’t hold a whole administration responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted budget consultants. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the Illinois government itself? And if the Illinois state government is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our political system in general? I put it to you, Harris - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!”
- Gooner - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:31 pm:
Sorry about that 47th. I need to read through all of them before posting.
- vole - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:37 pm:
Just hand me my Oscar now so we can get on with the next puppy killing.
- Juvenal - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:46 pm:
Richard Goldberg, surrounded by his supporters.
- Obamas Puppy - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:46 pm:
If I say “Sham” one more time I win a brand new attitude.
- siriusly - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:54 pm:
. . . “And if the whole Fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational systems in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and list to you badmouth The United States of America! Gentlemen! “
- siriusly - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 2:56 pm:
wow. great minds. I apologize 47 - you had that one first.
- Amalia - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 3:05 pm:
Hmm, I sort of see Rauner and Co. as more of Niedermeyer and Marmalarde types…..
- Tommydanger - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 3:51 pm:
47th:
Well played sir, well played.
- Wordslinger - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 3:53 pm:
“Yes, my mother did dress me this morning, so what? She’s one of the most accomplished dresser’s I’ve ever met!
“One more sexist smear like that, representative, and you can be sure she will hear about it!”
- SAP - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 4:01 pm:
You’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?
- Springfieldish - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 4:19 pm:
Facts? Pish-posh!
Data? Fiddle-dee-dee!
Snark? You betcha!
(If this administration’s claim to fame is the effective use of snark, God help us all!)
- Enviro - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 5:12 pm:
Don’t you understand how special I am?
- Arthur Andersen - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 6:05 pm:
Amalia, that is spot on! I guess that would make Goldberg Chip Diller “Everyone Remain Calm!!”
- Hawkeye in Illinois - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 7:00 pm:
As his Royal Hand I bring ye a meesage from my leige that ye ignore at thine own peril. Hear ye that King Bruce doth proclaim this parliament dissolved and if ye doth not bend to his royal will ye shall be taken to The Tower and ye heads severed.
- DuPage Dave - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 7:04 pm:
The contempt I have for the legislative process is exceeded only by that held by my boss for all of you.
- Michelle Flaherty - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:17 pm:
Goldberg? I got chunks of guys like you in my stool.
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:31 pm:
“Sham. As in Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs. What part of Sham do you not understand, sir?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:32 pm:
“This hearing has jumped the snark!”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:33 pm:
“For the record, it’s GOLDberg. Better than Silverberg but not as good as Platinumberg. Any other questions?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:34 pm:
“Mont Blanc? Why, yes, it IS a Mont Blanc. What’s your point Mr. Chairman?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:36 pm:
“That person in the wild coat to my right? Well, it MIGHT be Rich Miller. Then again, it might not. Why don’t YOU ask him, sir?”
- Streator Curmudgeon - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 8:37 pm:
“No, I always stick two fingers out when I fold my hands. It is NOT a Masonic sign, Representative.”
- zatoichi - Monday, Jun 8, 15 @ 11:04 pm:
Yes, Bill Goldberg is my uncle. He taught me how to work the mic like a real WWE Superstar.
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 9, 15 @ 7:23 am:
I’m on the edge of my seat that’s two of you now with challenges
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 9, 15 @ 7:41 am:
Hootie and the blowfish
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 9, 15 @ 7:53 am:
My thumbs need there phoney
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 9, 15 @ 7:54 am:
Shamwow
- Anonymous - Tuesday, Jun 9, 15 @ 8:42 am:
So you have spread staff infection to other agency’s?