“You tell Barickman and Bourne they better do better with the phony numbers I gave them on school funding… and the dot points too… and I don’t want any &$@#% problems…”
- Henry Francis - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:59 am:
Home James.
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:00 pm:
“No, lemon shake up Springfield is a stupid slogan…”
Diana, I told the press to leave you….but….I want to….but… what do you want me to….no…
come on… ok, yes dear… and yes I’m wearing the red shirt like you and Kristina said
“Mr. President? I’m sorry, sir, I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up. No, you can’t call me back, sir. I have to give a speech in a few minutes. What? Hello?
“Whew. Got outta that one!”
- DownstateKid - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:07 pm:
When asked why he was riding in a golf cart, Governor Rauner said that both his motorcycle and his trash can van were “broken.”
Ann Coulter couldn’t be reached for comment.
- Almost the weekend - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:17 pm:
Diana we only have one more week to live out at the Director’s lawn, I’ll meet you at Gutiar and Cadillacs for our senior advisor meeting tonight. No sorry they don’t have Merlot.
“Hey, RG. It’s Bruce. Do you think I could run through my speech with you again? Not sure if the Best Team in America hit on Madigan and Chicago enough…”
“Kristina, push my speech back an hour, hour-and-a-half. I’m still looking for that dad-gum ball. I saw it slice past the corn dog stand and..wait, wait! I think I see it over there by the big slide!!”
Detective: “You there?”
Rauner: “Just let me get to my house.”
Det: “Ok, we’re going to do that. Just throw the gun out the window.”
Rauner: “I can’t do that.”
Det: “Think of the children.”
Rauner: “No. All I did was try to govern.”
Det: “We understand.”
Rauner: “I love everyone. I tried to show everybody that I knew how to govern.”
Det: “Get off the expressway and have your buddy Al drive your white Bronco to your home where we’ll meet you to talk some more.”
Detective:”Hello? Hello? You still there?”
Rauner: “We got disconnected passing under the grandstands.”
Det: “See the signs they’re holding? Run Bruce Run?”
Rauner:”I thought the AV just needed a majority. No one told me 3/4ths - I didn’t know.”
Det:”You got some bad info.”
Rauner:”I had to shake up Springfield. Madigan. He’s running everything.”
Det:”He’s a slick operator.”
Rauner:”He knows all those rules. He knew I would be told the wrong things. I just want to be loved.”
Det:”We all do Bruce”
Rauner:”Why are there so many helicopters over me?”
Det:”Reporters. Everyone is watching you us chasing you on television. Live. They are worried, sir. Are you still armed?”
Rauner:”Al is taking me home.”
Det:”Tell him to stay in the middle lane and keep it slow. We’ve got 36 cruisers surrounding you, so we’ll be safe.”
Listen Tillman, Diana is still not happy. And when Diana is not happy, she makes me unhappy, you feel me? Now, who else you got over there? Dabrowski? Is he the little guy? OK, send him over. Tell him he starts on Monday. Who else is left over there?
Detective:”Hello Governor? Hello?”
Rauner:”I really thought I did the right things. I really thought IPI knew what it was saying.”
Det:”Tillman is a slick operator, Sir”
Rauner:”I thought those people were smart. Best Team In America? I called them that? Try Best Ream Job In America. Try Best Stooges. Try Best Western Motels for Wakjobs. I’m surrounded by leople I don’t like.”
Det:”Tomorrow will be a better day, sir”
Rauner:”Says who? These IPI people smell like moth balls and hot oil”
Det:”I think you’re smelling mini donuts sir.”
Detective:”You still there Governor? Hello?”
Rauner:”Those school funding numbers. I really thought IPI knew how to count. Now I know they got those numbers shooting craps in Evelyn’s office”
Det:”Tillman is a slick operator, Sir”
Rauner:”I went out there for PR pressers. No one told what to say. Best Team In America could set up any teleprompters. I looked like a Cozy dog.”
Det:”Tomorrow will be a better day, sir”
Rauner:”You union son?”
Det:”Ah - no?, eh (no?) - NO.”
Rauner:”You sound too much like a taxpayer to be a union stooge.”
Det:”Uh - thanks?”
Rauner:”Whataya say we crush those parasite?”
Det:”I’m, I mean, I hear that unions help the middle class.”
Rauner:” That’s a lie. Liars - all of them. Pigs at troughs. Goats. I smell goats?
Det:”One more turn sir and you’ll be home.”
Rauner:”Wait - which one of my homes?”
Det:”The one on the fairgrounds sir, your temporary Mansion.”
Rauner:”Oh sweet mother of Ken Griffin.”
- A guy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:50 am:
GPS the first tee.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:53 am:
“Well, hurry up Willy, we need a fourth and Cross can’t make it… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:54 am:
“Can you deliver the costumes to the fairgrounds or do I have to meet you somewhere… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:55 am:
Diana… restart the laptop and then email them… “
- Dave Dahl - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:55 am:
“You want me to WHAT? Speaker Madigan, that’s anatomically impossible !!”
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:58 am:
“Bring home something for dinner? Other than Fried Oreos?”
- Seymourkid - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:58 am:
In the past a pol from the north shore who sent their kid to a CPS school was considered a Chicagoan.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:59 am:
“You tell Barickman and Bourne they better do better with the phony numbers I gave them on school funding… and the dot points too… and I don’t want any &$@#% problems…”
- Henry Francis - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 11:59 am:
Home James.
- Ron Burgundy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:00 pm:
“No, lemon shake up Springfield is a stupid slogan…”
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:01 pm:
“Dear, you still have that AOL account? Let’s start usin’ that”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:01 pm:
“Sure I want to help Chicago… I just don’t want to help Chicago students… “
- dbk - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:03 pm:
The BTIA(TM)and I are on it, dear.
- nobruce - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:03 pm:
Diana, I told the press to leave you….but….I want to….but… what do you want me to….no…
come on… ok, yes dear… and yes I’m wearing the red shirt like you and Kristina said
- Christopher - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:03 pm:
No, sorry, Diana, I’m not taking questions from you, either.
- wordslinger - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:03 pm:
“So, tonight, dinner at Japonais, skybox at Wrigley, then late night cruise out of Belmont Harbor.
“Hold on, I’ve got to feed the rubes some red meat on what a s-hole Chicago is….”
- Dome Gnome - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:03 pm:
“I’ll take two white golf shirts and three pairs of khaki pants, hold the MAGA cap.”
- Glengarry - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:05 pm:
I had to take this directly, my last body man messed up. Darn Twitter.
- JoanP - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:05 pm:
“Is that the IPI? Remind me, what am I supposed to say when I get to the rally?”
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:07 pm:
“Mr. President? I’m sorry, sir, I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up. No, you can’t call me back, sir. I have to give a speech in a few minutes. What? Hello?
“Whew. Got outta that one!”
- DownstateKid - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:07 pm:
Diana…to the Batcave!
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:08 pm:
Yes, dear, and put down what? How did you know I have my feet on the dashboard?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:09 pm:
“Mr. Vice President, Mike, I have my own problems… “
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:10 pm:
When asked why he was riding in a golf cart, Governor Rauner said that both his motorcycle and his trash can van were “broken.”
Ann Coulter couldn’t be reached for comment.
- Almost the weekend - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:17 pm:
Diana we only have one more week to live out at the Director’s lawn, I’ll meet you at Gutiar and Cadillacs for our senior advisor meeting tonight. No sorry they don’t have Merlot.
- Jocko - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:20 pm:
“How long do I have to wear this ridiculous outfit, Diana? The belt buckle is chafing me something awful.”
- Shadow in the corner - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:21 pm:
Plaid Warehouse? I have a rush order for you. Just bill the IPI like last time.
- Fax Machine - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:21 pm:
Pass a schools bill? Nah, I’m gonna be busy shining my Indian Head Nickel belt button.
- @MisterJayEm - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:23 pm:
“And I’m telling you none of these dopey yokels will ever notice I’m wearing my cowboy outfit with sneakers…”
– MrJM
- Oneman - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:25 pm:
Well Mr President I am sorry I misplaced the beer you asked me to hold when I said “no one can have a worse week than I have”
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:26 pm:
They did what to my bike? That is not what I meant when I said let’s deep fry a whole hog.
- We'll See - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:28 pm:
The guy in the back talking to himself - “Hello Carlo”
- Lamont - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:35 pm:
“Ok. I can hear you know. One more question about what normal people do. Am I doing this right? Foot on the dash or not?”
- Evanston Dem - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:36 pm:
“Governor Rauner testing out his new cell phone while wearing best belt buckle in America”
- Lamont - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:41 pm:
“Hello, AAA? Yeah, we need a tow. Drove this golf cart, much like the State, into a ditch.”
- Because I said so.... - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:44 pm:
Diana, is my leather vest with the patch that says GOVERNOR back from the dry clearers yet?
- ChicagoVinny - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:57 pm:
“It’s 200 miles to Chicago, we’ve got no K-12 funding, the BTIA, it’s dark, and Madigan controls all the sunglasses.”
“Hit it!”
- Curl of the Burl - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 12:58 pm:
“CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”
- Trapped in the 'burbs - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:14 pm:
I said, stay to the far right of the cart path.
- OneMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:17 pm:
What, OW said something nice about me….
- 37B - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:22 pm:
I understand Diana. I ride around in the cart and you play the round.
- Anon - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:22 pm:
“Hey, RG. It’s Bruce. Do you think I could run through my speech with you again? Not sure if the Best Team in America hit on Madigan and Chicago enough…”
- Porgy Tirebiter - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:25 pm:
Is it just me or does he look like he’s aged about 10 years in the last month
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:28 pm:
“I’ll take two of those, gimme four of those, a box of those, some of those naked lady tees…”
- Cubs in '16 - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:32 pm:
“Kristina, push my speech back an hour, hour-and-a-half. I’m still looking for that dad-gum ball. I saw it slice past the corn dog stand and..wait, wait! I think I see it over there by the big slide!!”
- Huh? - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:35 pm:
Diana, if I could have fired Madigan I would have already done it.
- Mama - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 1:39 pm:
I love my acting job.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 2:40 pm:
“Have you checked the children?”
“Have you?”
“You’re wasting our time locking the doors and calling the police”
- Honeybadger - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 2:43 pm:
I know we have a cocktail party later tonight, I will be home as soon as I can.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:03 pm:
Detective: “You there?”
Rauner: “Just let me get to my house.”
Det: “Ok, we’re going to do that. Just throw the gun out the window.”
Rauner: “I can’t do that.”
Det: “Think of the children.”
Rauner: “No. All I did was try to govern.”
Det: “We understand.”
Rauner: “I love everyone. I tried to show everybody that I knew how to govern.”
Det: “Get off the expressway and have your buddy Al drive your white Bronco to your home where we’ll meet you to talk some more.”
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:16 pm:
Detective:”Hello? Hello? You still there?”
Rauner: “We got disconnected passing under the grandstands.”
Det: “See the signs they’re holding? Run Bruce Run?”
Rauner:”I thought the AV just needed a majority. No one told me 3/4ths - I didn’t know.”
Det:”You got some bad info.”
Rauner:”I had to shake up Springfield. Madigan. He’s running everything.”
Det:”He’s a slick operator.”
Rauner:”He knows all those rules. He knew I would be told the wrong things. I just want to be loved.”
Det:”We all do Bruce”
Rauner:”Why are there so many helicopters over me?”
Det:”Reporters. Everyone is watching you us chasing you on television. Live. They are worried, sir. Are you still armed?”
Rauner:”Al is taking me home.”
Det:”Tell him to stay in the middle lane and keep it slow. We’ve got 36 cruisers surrounding you, so we’ll be safe.”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:17 pm:
Listen Tillman, Diana is still not happy. And when Diana is not happy, she makes me unhappy, you feel me? Now, who else you got over there? Dabrowski? Is he the little guy? OK, send him over. Tell him he starts on Monday. Who else is left over there?
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:26 pm:
Detective:”Hello Governor? Hello?”
Rauner:”I really thought I did the right things. I really thought IPI knew what it was saying.”
Det:”Tillman is a slick operator, Sir”
Rauner:”I thought those people were smart. Best Team In America? I called them that? Try Best Ream Job In America. Try Best Stooges. Try Best Western Motels for Wakjobs. I’m surrounded by leople I don’t like.”
Det:”Tomorrow will be a better day, sir”
Rauner:”Says who? These IPI people smell like moth balls and hot oil”
Det:”I think you’re smelling mini donuts sir.”
- zatoichi - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:43 pm:
Sir, the phone is dead. You can throw it against the tree up ahead to show how angry you are. The video crew is rolling from three angles.
- VanillaMan - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 3:51 pm:
Detective:”You still there Governor? Hello?”
Rauner:”Those school funding numbers. I really thought IPI knew how to count. Now I know they got those numbers shooting craps in Evelyn’s office”
Det:”Tillman is a slick operator, Sir”
Rauner:”I went out there for PR pressers. No one told what to say. Best Team In America could set up any teleprompters. I looked like a Cozy dog.”
Det:”Tomorrow will be a better day, sir”
Rauner:”You union son?”
Det:”Ah - no?, eh (no?) - NO.”
Rauner:”You sound too much like a taxpayer to be a union stooge.”
Det:”Uh - thanks?”
Rauner:”Whataya say we crush those parasite?”
Det:”I’m, I mean, I hear that unions help the middle class.”
Rauner:” That’s a lie. Liars - all of them. Pigs at troughs. Goats. I smell goats?
Det:”One more turn sir and you’ll be home.”
Rauner:”Wait - which one of my homes?”
Det:”The one on the fairgrounds sir, your temporary Mansion.”
Rauner:”Oh sweet mother of Ken Griffin.”
- AnonyClaus - Wednesday, Aug 16, 17 @ 4:28 pm:
Try honking again.
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 12:14 am:
Diana every time I start talking my foot goes to my mouth
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 7:13 am:
There will be no more questions for you Diana, I put my foot down
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 7:21 am:
Diana, I have decided to go for broke
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 7:26 am:
Diana, your a senior citizen at 55, did you get your AARP card
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 7:57 am:
No Leslie you can’t run for comptroller today
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 8:00 am:
Were politically correct Diana, I took down all the civil war monuments in Lincoln park
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 8:15 am:
Here comes my nineteenth nervous breakdown
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 8:30 am:
Koch-by-gosh, desert fox collection
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 8:50 am:
Diana,I think I found who’s been bringing your name out all the time
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 8:57 am:
Durkin, you guys got together and got me a present
- Rabid - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 9:17 am:
Then madigan said I was like Lincoln, had a hole in my head
- NorthsideNoMore - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 9:44 am:
” I got to get over to the Dairy pavillion for a photo op. Last year they tried to get nme to milk the the Butter Bull but I’m on to that this time.”
- Anonymous - Thursday, Aug 17, 17 @ 9:44 am:
“Trump’s got nuthin’ on me.”