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Question of the day

Wednesday, Oct 4, 2017

* CNNMoney

Cities across North America are pulling out the stops to become the home of Amazon’s second headquarters. […]

In an effort to bring HQ2 to Tucson and Southern Arizona, economic development group Sun Corridor loaded a 21-foot Saguaro cactus onto a truck to deliver to Amazon. […]

Birmingham, Alabama has installed three massive Amazon delivery boxes around the city to coincide with the launch of Mayor William Bell’s formal bid for the second headquarters. The city plans to add more boxes, too. […]

Amazon, Georgia? Earlier this week, the Stonecrest City Council in Georgia voted to de-annex 345 acres of its land if selected for Amazon’s second home. The new area would be called the city of Amazon.

* Kinda reminds me of something

No, in this case, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.

* The Question: What “futile and stupid gesture” would you recommend for Chicago in this Amazon HQ2 sweepstakes?

Have fun.

- Posted by Rich Miller        

95 Comments »
  1. - OkComputer - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:34 pm:

    I dunno, propose they take over the old POST OFFICE headquarters?


  2. - FormerParatrooper - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:36 pm:

    We could give them thier own drone port, ATC people and mark out restricted flight corridors only they could use. Maybe the former Mayor will allow Meigs Field to be opened?


  3. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:36 pm:

    Raise the city sales tax to 20%?


  4. - gadfly - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:38 pm:

    The City launches 1,000 drones into the sky that drop Amazon delivery boxes that simultaneously explode midair with confetti, with The Bean covered in an Amazon delivery box as the center point for the confetti drop.


  5. - A modest proposal - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:39 pm:

    Change the name of Weigley Field and Wrigleyville to Amazon Field and Amazonville


  6. - Free Set of Steak Knives - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:39 pm:

    it takes about 150 years for a saguaro to reach 20 feet in height.

    Why not just drive to Seattle and chop down a sequoia?


  7. - Homer J. Quinn - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:40 pm:

    all they’re really looking for is tax breaks and anti-worker legislation.


  8. - BuckinIrish - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm:

    Rename the Chicago River the Amazon River #2


  9. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm:

    Declare all Amazon warehouse facilities in Illinois exempt from ‘Race to $15/hr’ requirements.


  10. - OneMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:41 pm:

    A Semi-Trailer full of Hot Doug’s encased meat products…

    There are no finer words in the English language than encased meats my friend.


  11. - Moderate Condor - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:42 pm:

    Give them exorbitant tax credits for something they were already going to do for business reasons.


  12. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:42 pm:

    Give them navy pier but rename it amazon pier…..


  13. - OneMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm:

    A water tanker full of Chicago River water dyed green to be dumped in some water feature near their HQ.


  14. - Dome Gnome - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm:

    Paint a Smile on the Thompson Center.


  15. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:43 pm:

    Eliminate the motor fuel tax on trucks delivering Amazon goods.


  16. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:44 pm:

    Change Work Comp causation standards for Amazon owned facilities.


  17. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:44 pm:

    The responses here make me think of a different line from a movie..

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syV2LkGpQB0

    lighten up Frances


  18. - Nick Name - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:45 pm:

    Get the band back together, pay off the orphanage’s back taxes.


  19. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:46 pm:

    Free parking anywhere near Chicago.


  20. - TopHatMonocle - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:47 pm:

    Rename Guaranteed Rate Field to Amazon Field. The state owns it right? Pretty much everyone would be happy about that.


  21. - cdog - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:47 pm:

    Legalize weed so we can attempt to compete with Denver.


  22. - Ghost - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:48 pm:

    Capital Fax will be renamed Amazonpolinewz and only run free ads for whole foods.


  23. - DuPage Saint - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:49 pm:

    Make them exempt from Aldermen and political fund raisers


  24. - Almost the Weekend - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:50 pm:

    Change the name of Wrigley Field to Amazon Field


  25. - Pot calling kettle - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:51 pm:

    Paint the old Post Office to look like a giant Amazon Box and then give it to them. Rename all of the pro sports franchises “The Amazons.”


  26. - OneMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:55 pm:

    Build a monorail…

    Naw, that’s more of a Shelbyville idea…


  27. - dr. reason a, goodwin - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:57 pm:

    Massive subsidy to build it in Cairo. Put it where it can actually be life changing.


  28. - Six Degrees of Separation - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 2:58 pm:

    Put Amazon ball caps on the Art Institute lions, and paint Gen. Sheridan’s horse’s “ding-a-ling” Amazon black and gold.


  29. - Skeptic - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:01 pm:

    Contract with Jeff Bezos to build a tube train to the newly built third airport near Peotone.


  30. - cdog - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:

    More like blue dog. Ha.

    Offer that the “Amazon Clause” will be added to every ILCS chapter exempting Amazon from it.


  31. - City Zen - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:

    Present Bezos with an honorary degree from Chicago State University.


  32. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:

    Paint all CTA vehicles as if they were Amazon delivery trucks.

    Light up the Hancock and Sears with Amazon colors.

    Have Oprah do a video where she tells random Chicagoans..

    “You get a package, you get a package, you get a package”


  33. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:02 pm:

    Do what Amazon does - promise an unbelievable bargain on Nike running shoes, but deliver imported Chinese Nyke running shoes.


  34. - Gruntled University Employee - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:03 pm:

    We could give them the Thompson Center and an endless supply of weed.


  35. - NeverPoliticallyCorrect - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:04 pm:

    The mayor and city council agrees to resign effective with the signing of the contract. Give them as much of the west side as they need to get the job done.


  36. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:05 pm:

    Do what Amazon does - promise them lake front property, but give them lake front property on Wolf Lake


  37. - We'll See - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm:

    Chicago could annex the Grundy County village of Mazon and add an A.


  38. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm:

    Meh, I think you let them choose their own Alderman and create a 51st Ward that has as its Alderman the “Transportation” and “Aviation” chairman, and the vice chair for “Revenue” where that Amazon Alderman get to hang with the Powerful Chairman and his Justice wife and they will all be over the moon about something or another.


  39. - Pot calling kettle - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:06 pm:

    Tell them Wisconsin is a park and give them free passes for unlimited use.


  40. - ughh.. - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:08 pm:

    call a constitutional convention…


  41. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:09 pm:

    Tell them that the Bears will take a knee for them at their next game.


  42. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:10 pm:

    Free abortions


  43. - Don’t Worry, Be Happy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:10 pm:

    Legalize marijuana, but only for Amazon employees. I mean, what Amazon employee in their right mind will want to work somewhere that marijuana is still illegal, when they can work in Seattle and partake all they want.


  44. - We'll See - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:11 pm:

    I think One Man is on to something….
    https://youtu.be/ZDOI0cq6GZM


  45. - ughh.. - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:12 pm:

    Amazon, what’s it like to be the prettiest girl at the dance?


  46. - perrier - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:13 pm:

    Run up $8B in unpaid bills trying to enact term limits.


  47. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:13 pm:

    We’ll bring in a small mountain range and put it in Chicago Heights.


  48. - zatoichi - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:14 pm:

    Build an private island into Lake Michigan for the HQ like Dubai did.


  49. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:14 pm:

    We’re a Trump-free zone


  50. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:15 pm:

    No Confederate statues to tear down


  51. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:16 pm:

    We’ll name the next hurricane to strike Chicago after Bezos.


  52. - A guy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:

    Produce a video on Georgia, Tucson, and Alabama. Then take them on a real tour of Chicago.

    Offer to let the flora along the Cal Sag grow to an unruly level and call it the Bezos River.

    Finally, stand on top of the old Post Office and simply let him spin around and notice a huge work force, a huge market, and half a country on every side he looks.


  53. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:17 pm:

    Thanks to Global Warming, it no longer snows here - promise.


  54. - Rich Miller - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:18 pm:

    ===We’re a Trump-free zone ===

    Except for that building with the yuuuge T R U M P on it.


  55. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:19 pm:

    We’re voting out Rauner.


  56. - anonnamee - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:20 pm:

    The city of chicago and cook county will now be stable regulatory environments


  57. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:20 pm:

    New constitution requiring future governors to be honest.


  58. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:21 pm:

    They get to keep what they find in Lake Calumet.


  59. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:24 pm:

    Amazon tax on water


  60. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:25 pm:

    Every Amazon employee gets a free armed bodyguard.


  61. - VanillaMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:27 pm:

    We’re near Wheaton, home of Jeanne Ives.


  62. - A guy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:30 pm:

    ==They get to keep what they find in Lake Calumet.==

    Dude, if that includes the oil, it’ll be the biggest corporate giveaway in State history.


  63. - Tyvan The Terrible - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:32 pm:

    The aldermen sign legislation to appoint Jeff Bezos Mayor-For-Life and rename the Willis Tower the Amazon Tower.


  64. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:43 pm:

    A guy 3:17. Exactly right.


  65. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:46 pm:

    Offer free bulletproof vests


  66. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:54 pm:

    Toga!


  67. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:56 pm:

    Offer Mike Glennon and Marcus Cooper, straight up.

    Ryan Pace, too.


  68. - @MisterJayEm - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 3:57 pm:

    “What ‘futile and stupid gesture’ would you recommend for Chicago in this Amazon HQ2 sweepstakes?”

    Offer to add a fifth star to the Chicago flag for Amazon — but then tell them we had to take away a star when rating because HQ2 wasn’t the size we thought it would be.

    – MrJM


  69. - Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:00 pm:

    Have NBC and Dick Wolf create…

    “Chicago Amazon”… A weekly drama that’s interwoven with “deliveries” to Chicago Fire, PD, and Med.


  70. - OneMan - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:01 pm:

    A guy the only oil in Lake Calumet is the stuff that got dumped there…

    Wait a minute

    We can be rich, rich I tell ya…


  71. - Crispy Critter - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:07 pm:

    Rename Chicago to Amazon and call south Chicago the Amazon Jungle.


  72. - RNUG - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:07 pm:

    Double down. Give them both the Thompson Center and McCormick Place. Exempt both buildings from property taxes as long as Amazon uses them, plus any house in the city bought and occupied by an Amazon employee.

    Hey, it beats another TIF district.


  73. - wordslinger - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:09 pm:

    –..call south Chicago the Amazon Jungle.–

    Proud of that one?


  74. - Joe M - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:10 pm:

    Free World Series tickets if the White Sox and Cubs ever meet in the WS.


  75. - walker - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:16 pm:

    Help produce the new hit TV show “Chicago Bundlers”


  76. - We'll See - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:22 pm:

    Crispy Critter, you do know it’s 2017, right?


  77. - Amalia - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:23 pm:

    An Amazon parade. after all, Chicago holds them for every other tribe.


  78. - Judgement Day - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:26 pm:

    Provide 50% of all Amazon financial incentives in the form of Chicago Public School Bond issues.

    Such a deal…..

    Just think, could be used as year-end bonuses for their employees. Or as specialty brand packing materials in their fulfillment centers. Or as a ‘Sellout’ item on Woot.


  79. - Skeptic - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:31 pm:

    Agree to buy all CPS text books from Amazon. Come to think of it, does Amazon even sell books any more?


  80. - Chicago Cynic - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:40 pm:

    Emblazon the Amazon logo onto the side of the Sears Tower as an example of what might be.


  81. - dbk - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:47 pm:

    These are just too funny for words. Bravo to all.

    “And you think FoxConn got a deal? Now here’s a Chicago-style deal … “(MRE - BVR - MJM)


  82. - West Side the Best Side - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:57 pm:

    Do everything that was done to make Chicago’s Olympic bid so successful. Oh, wait….


  83. - 47th Ward - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 4:58 pm:

    Toga party.


  84. - Huh? - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:01 pm:

    Take a trip to the Amazon headquarters to look around but not meet anybody. Oh wait, 1.4% already did that.


  85. - JoanP - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:12 pm:

    Let Bezos throw a giant deep dish pizza pie in Rahm’s face.


  86. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:19 pm:

    Give them comm eds nonperforming brownfield asset in Zion. Call it “Desirable lakefront property.”


  87. - Anon57 - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 5:52 pm:

    Offer pension plans


  88. - Judgement Day - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 6:07 pm:

    Offer up Rahm’s services as Amazon’s new full time Director of Governmental Relations.


  89. - Interim Retiree - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 6:48 pm:

    Give them the land that Chicago State University is on & every employee gets a Masters Degree from CSU.


  90. - Crispy Critter - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 7:01 pm:

    Think my previous post was taken the wrong way. I meant nothing racist if that is what it seems.


  91. - Six Degrees of Separation - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 8:15 pm:

    Bring back Bozo’s Circus on WGN, but rename it “Bezos’ Jerkus”.


  92. - DeseDemDose - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:24 pm:

    Have Bezos meet and greet the famous original “Amazon Bertha” at the Baton Show Lounge in River North. Top that Georgia,Tucson,and Alabamy.


  93. - Anonymous - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:44 pm:

    Appoint Jack Franks to the committee.


  94. - Blue dog dem - Wednesday, Oct 4, 17 @ 9:53 pm:

    Soda delivered thru Amazon not subject to sin tax.


  95. - cc - Thursday, Oct 5, 17 @ 12:49 am:

    I vote for O W at 4:00 pm - Chicago Amazon


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