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Question of the day
Friday, Mar 1, 2013 - Posted by Rich Miller * NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde testifying at a committee hearing…  * The Question: Caption? Funniest commenter wins a $20 gift certificate at Springfield’s Grab-A-Java. But make absolutely sure to keep it clean! Thanks. * By the way, our previous winner was BentheDem…
BentheDem should send me an e-mail and we’ll work out the details. * Also, if you have a business and would like to provide a sweet prize for caption contests, you should definitely contact me.
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- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 10:59 am:
“Representative, you call this a gun? I call this a ‘good start’ to a gun.”
- dave - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:02 am:
“Trust me — I wasn’t the only that wanted to do this after Tuesday’s 8 hours of debate insanity.”
- John A Logan - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:02 am:
Just for Men. Touch of Gray.
Endorsed by the National Rifle Association.
- TCB - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am:
“This is my rifle. This is my gun. This is for fighting, and this is for fun.”
Winner should get a day on the range with Todd!
- Cal Skinner - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am:
You’re right, Todd. You don’t need a loaded gun to get concealed carry.
- wordslinger - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:03 am:
“Seriously, I followed all the instructions step-by-step and this was left over at the end. Where would this go on a gas grill, anyway?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:04 am:
“It comes in Nickel or Steel, Black, Camo,… snd Pink for the ladies.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:05 am:
“I’m confused. Where do you say you want me to conseal this?”
- Anom - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am:
“I’m just an unfrozen caveman lobbyist. Your bright lights and committee hearing rooms frighten me.”
- Spliff - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am:
Which is the biggest butt?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:07 am:
“Representative, if you can’t name this, then you can’t ban me from consealing it.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:09 am:
===“I’m just an unfrozen caveman lobbyist. Your bright lights and committee hearing rooms frighten me.”===
Leader in the clubhouse!
“Representative! What are you talking about? This? This is my hair dryer!”
- Responsa - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:09 am:
I laughed when that Ralphie kid in the movie said, “I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!”
What a nerd. THIS is what I wanted for Christmas.
- So. ILL - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:10 am:
“Senator Trotter, I think you dropped this in the parking lot.”
- CircularFiringSquad - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:11 am:
“this ladies and gentlemen is what GManJim would be giving up in his gun castration program he spoke so eloquently about this week. Have mercy”
- Iaintcoonsey - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:12 am:
Look, this is no different than Quinn, a benign attachment to something “scary”.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:12 am:
“Members of the Committee! What is the problem here? This … was a grab bag gift I got!”
“…you mean my Cigar Lighter here?…”
“Representative, I see you broke your iPhone, I can get you a case like mine? It’s bulky but fun …”
- bongofurry - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:14 am:
Who left this and took my cannoli?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:17 am:
“As a fundraiser, we are offering these … sit down, sit down, it’s not what it looks like … it’s our version of a Cannoli Maker …”
- The End Is Near - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:17 am:
“Five years ago, on a dare from my buddy Wayne LaPierre, I pried this out of Charlton Heston’s cold, dead hands.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:19 am:
“Happy Easter everyone. Behold our Chocolate Gun Case …”
- just sayin' - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:20 am:
NRA lobbyist explains, nay lives, God given right to bear bangs.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:21 am:
“When I broke my Chocolate Gun Case, Jellybeans fell out … you guys?”
- NIref - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:22 am:
Rich Miller’s dye job was just too splotchy.
- rEDRUM - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:22 am:
Pull!
- Colossus - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:23 am:
“No, senator, we don’t use the term ‘boom stick’ anymore. (mutters: This is gonna take a while.) Let’s start at the beginning.”
- Amalia - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:24 am:
Empty gun, a new metaphor for NRA rhetoric.
- Jake From Elwood - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:25 am:
“Let me introduce you to my little friend.”
- Skeeter - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:26 am:
If you ban guns from committee hearings, only bad lobbyists will have guns in committee hearings.
- lake county democrat - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:28 am:
Trust me, when the zombie apocalypse arrives, you want this.
- Colossus - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:28 am:
Todd: “Pass the bill, or the lobbyist gets it!”
Todd: “Help me! Help me!”
Todd: “Shut up!”
Sen. A: “Won’t somebody please help that poor man?”
Sen. B: “No, he’s crazy enough to do it!”
- zatoichi - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:31 am:
It’s a prosthetic foot. Why?
It’s a floor jack that Tom and Norm left in my basement last season.
- MrJM - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:34 am:
“By standing in the way of a Concealed Carry law, legislators are making invisible guns like this one an inevitability.”
– MrJM
- Rich Gatling - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:34 am:
Senator, what if you were adrift on Lake Springfield and no one could find you? Your fundraiser starts in 20 minutes, your phone is dead, your boat radio won’t work, oh yeah, then you wish you had this concealed carry flare gun!
- Ray Charles - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:38 am:
If I didn’t have this gun, the King of England could just walk right in here and start pushing you around. You want that?
- Mason born - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:39 am:
No Mr. Acevedo i cannot put more than one of these on a rifle.
- 10th Indy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:40 am:
argo-bleep-yerselves
- nobody - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:40 am:
Ralphie (all grown up): You see, I didn’t poke my eye out with the Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! Now I want a real gun and not some silly toy.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:41 am:
“This? This is my wallet …What did you think it was?”
- Chicago Cynic - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:45 am:
“Pass this now or the bearded guy gets it!”
- Rich Miller - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:47 am:
“Feelings… Nothing more than feelings…”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:47 am:
“Nope, it WAS a gun case. Am I happy to see you? Yeah, sure …”
- Mason born - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:48 am:
No Senator this is not the part the bullet comes out of. Nope not a magazine either. How about i give you some homework and we start over.
- thechampaignlife - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:49 am:
Some assembly required, they said. Universally understood pictograms, they said. I’ll never shop at Ikea again!
- Tsavo - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:49 am:
“When not being used as a collapsible rifle stock, this little beauty can be used as “the club” to secure your steering wheel. How many of these can I put the General Assembly down for?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:51 am:
“Stop, stop, STOP! Mr. Vandermyde, we’re sorry, the committee has to stop you right there. While ‘Craig the Gun Case’ and this puppet act you are doing… is … interesting, please stick to answering our questions… as YOU…”
- LisleMike - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:51 am:
Conceal it? I can’t even find ammo for it!!!
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:52 am:
“You gotta know when to hold ‘em and know when to fold ‘em.”
- Mr. Grassroots - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:53 am:
Pass ‘conceal and carry’ or the NRA guy gets it!
- Mr. Grassroots - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:54 am:
Oops, Todd beat me to it! Sorry!
- papa2009 - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:55 am:
You want me to put this where?
- So. ILL - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:56 am:
“Yes, Representative Mell, I suppose this could double as a handy carrying case for either a whistle or mace. Why do you ask?”
- Allen Skillicorn - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 11:59 am:
“I just made this with my 3D printer.”
- southof80 - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:00 pm:
You have heard of a “muzzle”, this is a “muzzle-loader”!
- So. ILL - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:00 pm:
Insert “Squeezy the Itchy Trigger Finger” joke here.
- Rich Miller - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:03 pm:
No, Representative, this is not a gun. It’s an NRA-approved cannoli tube.
- Westsider - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:04 pm:
“One word: Plastics”
- Mouthy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:10 pm:
We call it the “Popper” cause you just “pop the corn” cob in from the front of the muzzle.
- Mr. Grassroots - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:13 pm:
I kept the gun and left the cannoli.
- pardon - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:14 pm:
“Yes, I know what a flowbee is”
“No, this is not a flowbee”
“I don’t see the relavance of whether I’ve used a flowbee”
“No I don’t pluck my eyebrows”
- City Slicker - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:21 pm:
“Mine is actually bigger than this.”
- CircularFiringSquad - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:21 pm:
Guess the GMan and castration are off limits which is too bad becauase it was lot better than other submissions
- Wensicia - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:25 pm:
Gun? What gun??
This is not a gun!
It’s a transformer, Optimus Nine!
- Nuance - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:27 pm:
How about you guys approving this gun for conceal carry!
- Blue Dog - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:28 pm:
“Instant AR- Just add water”
- Stones - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:33 pm:
You can conceal the gray by carrying “Touch of Gray”
- BentheDem - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:34 pm:
Senator, I will not let you infringe upon my right to conceal and carry… whichever part of Robocop this is.
- Nuance - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:35 pm:
How do you conceal carry? You take this and stick it in your pants. Nobody will notice.
- Tatler - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:37 pm:
“One more step and the NRA lobbyist gets it.” (Kudos to Blazing Saddles)
- Roamin' Numeral - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:40 pm:
“You call this a gun, Senator? The slingshot I made when I was 5 years old has more pop than this.”
“Well, Senator, I guess I could put the training wheels back on it if it would make you feel better.”
“If I ever get attacked in Chicago by a gangbanger riding a grizzly bear, what am I going to do with this thing? Set it to ‘tickle’?”
- dave - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:42 pm:
See this empty gun? It’s helpful as the NRA having Debby Halvorson’s back in her congressional race.
- Way Way Down Here - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:52 pm:
This? It’s for PEZ.
- AC - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:55 pm:
You can pry this Dyson vacuum car seat cleaning attachment from my cold dead hands!
- Prairie Curmudgeon - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:56 pm:
Yes, Senator, it DOES take me quite a while to blow-dry my beard.
- Calhoun Native - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 12:59 pm:
Duz any of youze guys got anything else to say about my Blogojevich bangs? I’ll wait right here.
- Mason born - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:01 pm:
No this is not a gun this is apart to a gun. (under breath “these people really are that $#%@$*@ Stupid”)
- WazUp - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:12 pm:
“Todd Vandermyde? My name is Emiliano Zapata, and this my friends is a revolution!”
- WazUp - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:14 pm:
“Mr. Sacia I have the firearm you ordered.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:15 pm:
“This, representatives … this is …um … this is … ok, you got me, I dunno what this is, there you happy?”
- Rich Miller - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:17 pm:
OW, sometimes a gun is just a gun.
- benniefly2 - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:21 pm:
“Frustrated Consumer Testifies During the Ikea Assembly Instruction Clarification Act hearings in Illinois Senate Chamber Friday”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:21 pm:
Well done, Rich …lol
“Did you just ask me if this is registered?”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:23 pm:
“Now … someone just told me thaty foud this … in that ‘Lincoln Hat’ everyone is questioning …”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:26 pm:
Bad Form on the “Hat”, even mocking the possible “fakes” is bad form…apologies
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:34 pm:
“In Kendall County, we hang these by the chimney durnig the holidays… if we are good, its filled with candy canes, socks, and 50 rounds of ammo …”
- unclesam - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:34 pm:
(internal thought by Todd): Some of these folks are proving my point for mandatory evaluations prior to obtaining a permit.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:37 pm:
“Oh yeah, you run that Shell Bill, and I will take this Shell Gun and figuratively shoot holes in that legislation. You want that?”
- benji - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:49 pm:
So last week I’m telling my broker how I wish my stock would go up, and yesterday the UPS guy drops this thing off on my doorstep.
- D P Gumby - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:51 pm:
“But wait, for the first 100 visitors you can get as many of these as you want with no requirement for background checks. You just pay shipping and handling from Indiana to the City of Chicago!”
- doomed in illinois - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:53 pm:
I’ve only seen a couple of commenters who actually know what he is holding.
- jaranath - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:56 pm:
“People want to ban assault weapons because they look scary, so we developed the transparent-aluminum AR-25 here with the help of an oddly-dressed Scot. So you see, as soon as we discover a formula for transparent plastic nobody will want a ban!”
- Anyone Remember? - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 1:57 pm:
You mean Preckwinkle can put a sales tax on THIS?
- Irish - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:01 pm:
Dateline - March 2, 2018
Now retired NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde testifies at a General Assembly hearing against the ban on the last vestige of American culture,..the hand held Supersoaker.
- Tex - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:17 pm:
NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde intruduces the new tactical personal defense paperweight to the 2014 General Assembly. After futile efforts to prevent the outlaw of all firearms in 2013, the NRA has shifted its focus to the advocacy of office equipment.
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:22 pm:
“You thought THIS was mine … No …Mine is Mint Green and Bedazzled…”
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:31 pm:
“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:34 pm:
- Arthur Andersen -!
Outside the box thinking … well done!
- Tex - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:34 pm:
You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the **** do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? OK.
- wordslinger - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:35 pm:
–“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”–
LOL, didn’t see the Dillinger coming. AA, your table is waiting.
- Todd - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:40 pm:
Mr Drury, I wouldn’t trust you with this much of a firearm much less the whole thing
- Rich Miller - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:42 pm:
Still stinging from Drury’s cross-examination, eh, Todd? lol
That was surely something to see.
- Health Care Justice - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:44 pm:
If we are not allowed to carry concealed weapons around that will make us feel like real men, then allow us to carry this concealed male enhancer around.
- Yellow Dog Democrat - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:46 pm:
NRA holds Conceal Carry Hostage
“Hold it! Next man makes a move, the Cracker gets it!”
(apologies to Blazing Saddles)
- Dazed & Confused - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:46 pm:
Any you thought that Todd and Randy Ramey were different people…
- Mason born - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:49 pm:
Todd
the problem isn’t that they have a Weapon the problem is they have power. After all if you carry more than one CCW weapon you will shoot down Ariforce One just ask Acevedo.
Rich i think you have to give it to AA for the Rod Crack that was priceless.
- roadbuilder - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:49 pm:
This thing I’m holding works as a gun as well as you guys work at fixing the pension problem…
- Todd - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:52 pm:
Not really rich just having fun
No rep Zalewski this is not called a shoulder thingy that goes up. (I’m gonna have to tell phelps we need an amendment that keeps some of these guys from getting carry permits)
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:53 pm:
===“I know it’s hard to believe, but Rod actually made this out of soap and shoe polish.”===
New Leader in the Clubhouse!
- Quizzical - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:54 pm:
Sure, this thing could take a 30 round clip and could easily be modified to shoot automatically, but in this instance I’ve modified it to be a highly portable and effective water pipe for smoking marijuana. What do you think of that, Representative Legalizeit?
- Oswego Willy - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:56 pm:
- Todd -
You have a good sense of humor about all this … and your work.
Tip of the hat.
- benji - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 2:56 pm:
There’s more money to be made in the medical industry. I’m presently working on my new invention, telescopic crutches.
- Amalia - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:05 pm:
I’m out. anyone got some?
- 47th Ward - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:14 pm:
They made it special for him. It’s an eighty-eight Magnum.
It shoots through schools.
- Just The Way It Is One - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:30 pm:
Senator, I’m sorry to interrupt, but, no, you don’t have to worry that it’ll go off; And, I mean, do you REAlly think this could kill me? I mean, in all due respect, Senator, I ponder how much you really KNOW about guns? There’s this thing called a trigger? You DO know what that is…right? And so do you see a TRIGger on this gun I’m pointing at myself? I certainly don’t. And even if I’m in jest, and there IS one, do you really think I’d galavant into the Illinois General Assembly with a LOADED handgun? I mean, out of deference, although I realize that given your political posture opposed to all things guns, you are probably sickened, sadly, as SO many of these are actually manufacturerd with the intent of proTECTing you and your loved ones, but just to have one in your PREsence,but, anyway, and, no, in reply to your previous question, trust me, you can relax, because, rest assured, no–they HAVen’t yet come up with some “Stealth” Triggeer, so you really need not worry…
- Irish - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:33 pm:
NRA lobbyist Todd Vandermyde confuses GA members with a licorice pistol as more legislators jump on the Ban Wagon.
- Irish - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:34 pm:
“Yes Senator, it’s called the Bloomberg. It’s a little short on parts.”
- mongo - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:36 pm:
Q: Whaddya call that big, soft, fleshy thing attached to a handgun?
A: Todd!
- mongo - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:37 pm:
or…
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- Mason born - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:39 pm:
Todd
Was that a MagPul? might want to get one.
- BentheDem - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:44 pm:
Yeah, I don’t think gonna top AA on this one. Kudos.
- The unknown poster - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:47 pm:
This thing has been sitting on my end table for years and I’m still waiting for it to kill someone.
- AFSCME Steward - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:52 pm:
I call this the model Quinn. I keep changing my mind what it should look like when it’s finished.
- Charlatan Heston - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:53 pm:
“What? No sir, this neither a clip nor a high capacity magazine.”
- Charlatan Heston - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 3:54 pm:
*is
- Todd - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:12 pm:
Mason –
yea its a Magpul stock
- Muffin Man - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:22 pm:
You guys don’t use a flare gun to blow dry your hair? Seriously?
- TCB - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:25 pm:
=Todd: “Pass the bill, or the lobbyist gets it!”
Todd: “Help me! Help me!”
Todd: “Shut up!”
Sen. A: “Won’t somebody please help that poor man?”
Sen. B: “No, he’s crazy enough to do it!” =
This must win…..come on Blazing Saddles reference has to win!
All I can think of is “Oh Lordy lord, he’s desperate….Do what he say, Do what he say!”
- wordslinger - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:31 pm:
–No rep Zalewski this is not called a shoulder thingy that goes up. (I’m gonna have to tell phelps we need an amendment that keeps some of these guys from getting carry permits)–
Great idea. I have some thoughts on that, myself.
Members of the Decatur Militia come to mind.
- Rich Miller - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 4:50 pm:
AA wins. https://capitolfax.com/2013/03/01/question-of-the-day-1544/#comment-11268068
Have a great weekend!
- Arthur Andersen - Friday, Mar 1, 13 @ 5:01 pm:
“Thank you very much. Thank you very much”
AA has left the building.