“Kids, before we begin, I want you yo know, while I am a member of the General Assembly, and proud of that, I am a former federal prosecutor. I know the law… “
“I know what it’s like to be alone. I mean alone. It’s tough being the brightest. I sit in my chair on the House Floor and gaze around. How did a smart guy like me find himself with so ‘unsmart’ people? Right? When I was a federal prosecutor, I’ve moved on, I would remind myself how fortunate America was to have my knowledge as a tool for criminals to face justice.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re not as smart as me. It’s ok. I’m here today to make sure that even though you know so much less than me, you’ll be ok.
I was going to teach you all something but as a former federal prosecutor, and dealing with juries, I had to know my audiences. I’m comfortable knowing I don’t want to waste all of our time, yours and mine, on my concepts and thoughts that maybe only 4-6% of the world could really grasp.
Children, if you want to avoid giving a straight answer, then seek outside counsel from Ivy League professors and vaguely claim a concern for a hypothetical future outcome. I know none of you are federal prosecutors so that may be difficult to understand, but that’s the point.
“Who are my best friends in Springfield? Ken Dunkin and Jeanne Ives. Who else? Well, pretty much everyone - staffers, lawmakers, legislative assistants, maintenance personnel, cafeteria workers, security guards, grounds people, reporters and lobbyists - despise me as a brittle prig. But, it’s a small price to pay for being morally superior to them all.”
“Now? Well now during Democratic Caucus I’ll probably go get something from the vending machines, stroll around the Capitol, might sneak in the Senate Gallery, watch them, I mean, I’ll have things to do… “
“Kids, if it’s one lesson I leave you with it’s this. Sometimes you just have to double cross your friends. That way they’ll never doubt your value in the future.”
“What grade is usually in this room?… 7th… knew it didn’t look familiar, see I skipped 7th grade. Didn’t NEED it. Seventh grade, for me, was like the Educational System wasting my time and holding me back fro being great… so I skipped it… “
“And not only the pride of intellect, but the stupidity of intellect. And, above all, the dishonesty, yes, the dishonesty of intellect. Yes, indeed, the dishonesty and trickery of intellect.”
“How do I feel? You guys know how Wyle E. Coyote look like right before an anvil or a piano or even dynamite is about to cause havoc upon him. Just about like that, actually. I feel how he looks… “
“I love that I’m not really liked. I love it. It feeds me. It makes me want to be even less unliked. I want sneers when I’m seen, I want hisses when I speak. I want eyes rolled by my seat mates, I want laughing when I’m done speaking. It means my genius scares them. Let me repeat that; it scares them. Greatness is never appreciated, and some are more popular, sure, well liked, most are even highly respectedm, but give me jeering colleagues, and I’ll show you a winner. That’s me…”
“When you are in a Caucus you never give a straight answer, they hold yiu to it. Be wishy-washy, then, when you have to lie, just make sure it’s ine person. That way, you won’t face the problems I have now… “
‘And here’s the cool thing, kids. You don’t wanna go in to work for a vote on respecting your constituent’s wishes, no problem, just don’t show up. How’s THAT for a cushy job?’
I consulted people out of the State of Illinois to find out what is best for you. I know what you want, but the folks on the east coast said you just don’t know any better.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 1:54 pm:
“Kids, before we begin, I want you yo know, while I am a member of the General Assembly, and proud of that, I am a former federal prosecutor. I know the law… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 1:56 pm:
What I’m holding here is best known as “The Hot Seat”. Anyone want to trade places with me?
- Union Man - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 1:57 pm:
“OK, Here’s what you do, tell people you will vote one way, but vote another and then play victim when they get mad.”
- Formerly Known As... - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 1:59 pm:
==As a former federal prosecutor…===
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 1:59 pm:
Anyone want to play a round of “Duck-Responsibility Goose”?
- Moo - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:00 pm:
Next, I’ll talk about how my political career went over a cliff.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:01 pm:
I don’t care what Michael Carrigan said. It was a bad bill for the unions. I asked all of the legal experts at MIT about it.
What do you mean MIT doesn’t have a law school?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:02 pm:
“I know what it’s like to be alone. I mean alone. It’s tough being the brightest. I sit in my chair on the House Floor and gaze around. How did a smart guy like me find himself with so ‘unsmart’ people? Right? When I was a federal prosecutor, I’ve moved on, I would remind myself how fortunate America was to have my knowledge as a tool for criminals to face justice.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re not as smart as me. It’s ok. I’m here today to make sure that even though you know so much less than me, you’ll be ok.
I was going to teach you all something but as a former federal prosecutor, and dealing with juries, I had to know my audiences. I’m comfortable knowing I don’t want to waste all of our time, yours and mine, on my concepts and thoughts that maybe only 4-6% of the world could really grasp.
No. I won’t.
So today, let’s talk about humility… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:02 pm:
“Great question, yes I think honesty and integrity are important traits for most legislators”.
- Excuse - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:03 pm:
Children, if you want to avoid giving a straight answer, then seek outside counsel from Ivy League professors and vaguely claim a concern for a hypothetical future outcome. I know none of you are federal prosecutors so that may be difficult to understand, but that’s the point.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:05 pm:
“No, autographs and pictures are for after I tell you how it is… “
- South of Sherman - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:05 pm:
Anybody here hiring?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:06 pm:
“Sure, I do serve the people, but if it feeds into my enormous ego at the same time… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:06 pm:
“….technically I didn’t lie, because I had my fingers crossed”.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:07 pm:
“Ask me that again, I’ll have 2 FBI raid teams and an armored hum-vee in your driveway at sun-up… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:08 pm:
“Another great question; yes apparently 1 vote can make a difference”.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:08 pm:
“Do I tbink I’m more important that some of my colleagues? … Which colleagues… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:10 pm:
“Actually, my father’s name is Geppetto…why do you ask?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:10 pm:
“I would never lie to the Speaker… accidentally… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
“No. Mr. Sandack isn’t a real owl… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:12 pm:
“So make sure you all come out to see my new mocumentary, “An Inconvenient Untruth”.
- Willie Stark - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
“Who are my best friends in Springfield? Ken Dunkin and Jeanne Ives. Who else? Well, pretty much everyone - staffers, lawmakers, legislative assistants, maintenance personnel, cafeteria workers, security guards, grounds people, reporters and lobbyists - despise me as a brittle prig. But, it’s a small price to pay for being morally superior to them all.”
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:13 pm:
No, my pants are NOT on fire! Stop chanting!
- Jake From Elwood - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:14 pm:
“And that is how you get your name known all around the State…”
- Reformed Optimist - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:14 pm:
“So which one of you was the smartest person in the room before I walked in?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
“Now? Well now during Democratic Caucus I’ll probably go get something from the vending machines, stroll around the Capitol, might sneak in the Senate Gallery, watch them, I mean, I’ll have things to do… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:15 pm:
“So then I said “Mr Speaker, OF COURSE I’ll vote for that” (little did he now it was opposite hour!)
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
“At least Dunkin got a vacation out of it. Am I bitter? No. But… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
“Kids, if it’s one lesson I leave you with it’s this. Sometimes you just have to double cross your friends. That way they’ll never doubt your value in the future.”
- pool boy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:17 pm:
Do I prefer millionaires over Mike Madigan? Well, yes I do.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:19 pm:
“What grade is usually in this room?… 7th… knew it didn’t look familiar, see I skipped 7th grade. Didn’t NEED it. Seventh grade, for me, was like the Educational System wasting my time and holding me back fro being great… so I skipped it… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:22 pm:
“Committee chairmanships, and extra responsibility are really overrated at this point. I mean who needs it? Amiright, amiright?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:23 pm:
“Doing my job requires me to care about 3 things; my district, my conscious, and my ego, not necessarily in that order, but you get what I’m saying… “
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:25 pm:
“…so in closing I’d say that the double cross is a tricky move, but if played has some great ‘teachable moments’ afterward.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:26 pm:
“If I was down there to make friends I’d be wasting everyone’s time. I have a dog, k?”
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:28 pm:
“…telling the truth is an ideal that we should usually try to live up to. At least for most people, at least part of the time.”
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:30 pm:
“Kids, I always try to start these meetings with an ice breaker. Anyone play 2 truths and a lie before?”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:32 pm:
===“Kids, I always try to start these meetings with an ice breaker. Anyone play 2 truths and a lie before?”===
Leader in the Clubhouse??
Well done.
“I have 3 bills still waiting for votes, but I’m not as optimistic as I once was, to be honest… “
- 360 Degree TurnAround - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:33 pm:
Caption: Today’s lesson was to teach kids the literal meaning of the word ostracized. Thank you for coming Representative Drury.
- How Ironic - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:35 pm:
OW - Thanks. I’m like a blind squirrel. Once and a while I come up with a nut.
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:36 pm:
“And not only the pride of intellect, but the stupidity of intellect. And, above all, the dishonesty, yes, the dishonesty of intellect. Yes, indeed, the dishonesty and trickery of intellect.”
–Leo Tolstoy
- Jocko - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:45 pm:
Scott Drury finds the only group not inclined to turn their back on him.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:45 pm:
“I never ask a question I don’t already know the answer to. Speaker Madigan, he forgot that.”
- Wensicia - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
OK, who called me a DINO?
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:47 pm:
“How do I feel? You guys know how Wyle E. Coyote look like right before an anvil or a piano or even dynamite is about to cause havoc upon him. Just about like that, actually. I feel how he looks… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:49 pm:
“That’s why I prefer a wall behind me… and not people.”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:50 pm:
“What do I think of my colleagues? I think very little of them actually… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:53 pm:
“I did, I asked all 176 members if one would join me and stand up here with me today, and they were all busy. Ironic, I know.”
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:55 pm:
As a federal prosecutor, I sent kids younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn’t want to, but I felt I owed it to them.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 2:59 pm:
“I love that I’m not really liked. I love it. It feeds me. It makes me want to be even less unliked. I want sneers when I’m seen, I want hisses when I speak. I want eyes rolled by my seat mates, I want laughing when I’m done speaking. It means my genius scares them. Let me repeat that; it scares them. Greatness is never appreciated, and some are more popular, sure, well liked, most are even highly respectedm, but give me jeering colleagues, and I’ll show you a winner. That’s me…”
“Mr. Drury, no one asked you anything yet…”
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:04 pm:
“Oh. So you guys read Capitol Fax?”
(Pause)
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:06 pm:
Rep. Drury,
Would you sign a shirt with your famous “Former Federal Prosecutor” quote on it?
Asking for a friend…
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:29 pm:
“When you are in a Caucus you never give a straight answer, they hold yiu to it. Be wishy-washy, then, when you have to lie, just make sure it’s ine person. That way, you won’t face the problems I have now… “
- PublicServant - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:29 pm:
Up against the wall, Rep. Drury tries to explain himself.
- Century Club - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:32 pm:
After we’re finished, can one of you kids start my car?
- horse w/ no name - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:33 pm:
So then, Terry Link told me there was no way in hell I would ever be Lake County State’s Attorney, and I wound up here lecturing my inferiors.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:44 pm:
- 47th Ward -
How about a Fresca?
“Caption?”
“Yeah, it’s a session day, but I’m hanging out in my district, until the heat dies down… “
- Rich Miller - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:50 pm:
horse… lol
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:51 pm:
I missed you yesterday on the Dunkin caption Willy. It just wasn’t the same without you.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:57 pm:
- 47th Ward -,
That’s nice of you to say that, thanks, bud. Appreciate that.
Windshield time yesterday, but I enjoyed yours, and all the captions yesterday.
Dunkin will find his way back into another caption contest I bet…
Hope you’re well.
- jt - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 3:57 pm:
I asked the Speaker for permission to run.
- sal-says - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 4:45 pm:
‘And here’s the cool thing, kids. You don’t wanna go in to work for a vote on respecting your constituent’s wishes, no problem, just don’t show up. How’s THAT for a cushy job?’
- Retirement - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 4:45 pm:
Hey can someone please tell me why the Moody Brothers are knocking on doors in my district?
- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:07 pm:
Geez, one bad vote and he sends me back to junior high?
- Mama - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:12 pm:
++- 47th Ward - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:07 pm:++
Thanks for the laugh.
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:12 pm:
“Governor Rauner and ‘ck’ asked me to come here today and ask your student council to pass the Turnaround Resolution… “
- Oswego Willy - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:14 pm:
“Hi Rich-
Rep. Drury reported back that Caruso Jr. High passed the Turnaround Resolution & added 30 minutes for lunch and recess.
Thanks!
ck”
- burbanite - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 5:37 pm:
I consulted people out of the State of Illinois to find out what is best for you. I know what you want, but the folks on the east coast said you just don’t know any better.
- Anonymous - Wednesday, Sep 9, 15 @ 6:29 pm:
“Oops. Here comes Dunkin. Never mind what I just said. Do the opposite!”